Auld Lang Syne
by Muphrid
Summary: Sachi lives.
1. Londinium

**Londinium**  
_Aincrad Floor 25 - August 20, 2023_

I don't think I knew much about Sachi before she told me she wanted to die.

"If I had the courage to commit suicide, I wouldn't have hid in town."

She said that, but I still thought she might try it.

I'd known Sachi for only a few weeks, having run into her guild, Black Cats of the Full Moon, while I was farming a lower-level dungeon. They were a group of high school friends, and it was the guild leader's project to turn Sachi into a forward—or rather, a shield-and-sword tank.

But this was an impossible task for Sachi. She was terrified of combat, terrified to die. That would've been an odd reaction in most video games, but death in SAO was very real—and very permanent.

"I'm scared of death. I'm so scared it keeps me up at night."

That's why she ran away, going off in the middle of the night to hide in the shadows near a drainage channel. In the pale moonlight, I sat beside her, trying to listen, trying to make up my mind about what to say.

"Why did this happen? Why can't we leave this game? Why is it we die for real if it's only a game? What could Kayaba have to gain by doing this? What is the purpose of this world?"

You see, Sachi and I were in an impossible situation: trapped within the virtual reality MMO _Sword Art Online_. With the NerveGear technology blocking our brains from the outside world, we were fully immersed within "Aincrad," a floating castle with one hundred floors to conquer and plunder.

But if we should die in the game, the NerveGear would irradiate our brains and render our real bodies as dead as our characters.

In the beginning, there had been as many as ten thousand of us. By the time I met with Sachi at the drainage channel, there couldn't have been more than 7,500 of us left.

So Sachi's fears were quite justified, and that's why she couldn't continue as a tank. It was hard enough to fight the many and varied monsters of Aincrad. To fight one's fears in addition? That was a recipe to die.

And I told her as much.

"If you're afraid to die, so afraid that it paralyzes you in combat, you shouldn't fight."

Her head snapped up at that, and for the first time in our conversation, she looked straight at me.

"How could I do that? I owe it to the guild—"

"Not to put them in jeopardy with a mistake. You know how to play the game, Sachi. I've seen that. The only thing that could put you or everyone around you in danger is fear. If fear makes you forget how to play, you won't be the only one to die."

"I see."

Sachi stared ahead again, into the darkness, and after some contemplation, she said,

"Thank you, Kirito. I think it's best if I follow your advice. It's scary to stay behind as the others go on, but I'll be happier that way. I won't be afraid anymore, and the others will be safer, too."

With that, she made for the drain's ladder. She was smiling, but she dabbed at her eye, just above her beauty mark, and with each rung on the ladder, she hesitated, like she wanted to make sure it would hold firm under her feet.

Sachi never went out with the rest of us again. She made up her mind that day, and the rest of the guild understood. We continued to farm favorable hunting grounds, and some weeks later, we put forward the money to buy some guild housing. Since Sachi wasn't actively leveling, she was the natural choice to complete the purchase and move our belongings.

But the rest of Black Cats died that day. All of them except me.

And Sachi.

The truth is, I bear the responsibility for those deaths. Black Cats were annihilated because they ran into a trapped chest—a chest I knew was very likely to be a trap. I'd been in that dungeon before because I was much, much higher in level than them. I was a former beta tester, and the general public viewed beta testers with suspicion. Beta testers could withhold information for their private benefit. Whether that actually happened or not, people _believed_ it was true and scapegoated beta testers for costing people's lives. I wasn't that kind of person, but I had leveled aggressively, well beyond most other players. It would've been natural for them to view me with that stigma, and for that, I'd kept silent. For that, they died.

That guilt stayed with me, long after the guild had died.

#

It was the middle of August, 2023. In ten months, the raiding guilds had cleared up to Floor 34, and in SAO, a raider's work is never done. There's always another floor to clear, another boss to scout and analyze, another raid to assemble from the ragtag volunteers who made up the raiding community, and finally, a strategy to execute, killing the boss and starting the cycle anew.

Though Black Cats had fallen months before, I had kept going to raids from time to time. I was a high-level player, after all, and the game wasn't going to clear itself.

The boss of Floor 34 was called _Hecate, Goddess of the Crossroads_, and her lair reflected that title well: Hecate stood on a triangular pattern of suspended walkways, intersecting in groups of three at a series of triangular nodes.

And what were the walkways suspended over? A pit of lava, of course, just to keep things interesting. That probably explained the heavy sweat on my brow—that, and the fact that we were on our fifth attempt of the afternoon.

My job in the raid was to tank Maiden—the most youthful of Hecate's three aspects. You see, Hecate was composed of three separate bosses—Maiden, Mother, and Crone. They remained confined to a single pedestal, sitting at an intersection of three roads. Each miniboss faced one of the roads, so the fight demanded three sets of tanks, at least. My partner on Maiden was the courageous DDA forward Schmitt.

"Kirito, switch!"

So courageous he'd call out for a switch when he was at 65% health. What did I think of this? I brushed the flat side of my sword, watched my Healing Crystal cooldown finish, and tapped my foot while keeping an eye on Schmitt's health bar.

"Kirito, _switch_!"

Maiden's weapon—a jet-black iron whip—wrapped around Schmitt's shield, smacking him across the face. Even still, he was just a hair over 50%—still quite safe, really, but just to get Schmitt off my back, I asked the raid leader his opinion.

"Klein, you think we need to switch yet?"

To my left was the guild leader of Fūrinkazan, the katana-wielder Klein. While Schmitt and two other tanks kept the bosses busy, the rest of the raid DPSed from the bosses' sides. Klein was among them, but as the raid leader, high damage per second wasn't his top priority. He monitored the overall health and status of the raid, and he knew—as I did—that Schmitt was in no immediate danger. Klein said as much.

"I'd like to get another fifteen seconds of damage on them, at least. Just hold on a bit."

Schmitt didn't take that well.

"I'm going to die over here while you're squeezing in a few extra percent? No way! Kirito, switch, now!"

To my horror, Schmitt leaped back, away from the Maiden boss, leaving her untanked. All three bosses—Maiden, Mother, and Crone—stopped swinging at their targets, and the pedestal they stood on disappeared in a flash of light.

"Get away! She's porting out early!"

That was Klein, who led his group of DPS down one of the narrow roads. His call wasn't a moment too soon, for once the bosses were gone, the lava beneath the intersection bubbled and frothed. It erupted in a towering pillar, engulfing the intersection and anyone who still stood near.

"AGH!"

And the wall of lava claimed two victims, clipping them on their way to the next node. The wounded fell face-first onto the hovering road, their health down to 25% and continuing to drop, thanks to a burn debuff. I could do nothing to help them, though. I had to get to Maiden.

As the raid scrambled to reengage, the Maiden, Mother, and Crone stomped and pounded on the walkways. Each hit dislodged pieces of rubble from the suspended paths, and cracks formed in the nearest sections.

CRASH! Three nearby sections shattered, falling into the lava, and Hecate teleported again. They glowed with a red light, and they pounded on the walkway faster this time—always faster each time they succeeded.

That was the clock we were racing against.

I jumped from walkway to walkway, taking my position opposite Maiden. Contrary to her name, she was not a beautiful creature. She snarled and hissed as she struck me with her metal whip. I dodged and dodged, and the one time I was brazen enough to try to parry, the whip wrapped around my blade and gashed me.

And what was Schmitt doing through all of this? He was sucking on a Healing Potion, eyes glued to the pixels of his health bar. A tank who's not switched in and who can't attack? The least he could do was monitor the rest of the raid!

But that was impossible for Schmitt. Put into a position of pressure and fear, he'd shown me already what he would do.

So as Maiden's whip zipped by me, as her health ticked past 15%, and I made the call.

"No more switches! Burn it down!"

One of the other forwards glanced at me in alarm.

"Are you nuts? We couldn't survive 15% even on the first cycle! What makes you think we can do it now?"

"We need to do it, or we're going to fall too far behind and wipe. Hold fast, and blow everything you have to survive these last few seconds. Have your Teleport Crystals ready in case we have to reset it."

There was some murmuring and confusion in the raid, but Klein stepped in to silence it.

"You heard the man. No more switches; burn this boss down, but be ready for the reset. Go, go, go!"

With all of us in agreement, I focused on my opponent, Maiden. She whipped at me with unreal speed, and my ears rang from the constant cracks of the whip. I watched her eyes, hoping she would telegraph her attacks, and that worked for a while.

Until we reached 10%. The three bosses turned red with rage, and Maiden closed her eyes, striking blindly.

"It's a frenzy! Watch out!"

A second whip materialized in Maiden's off hand, and she swung with them in a wild craze. I parried one at a weak angle, taking minimal damage, but the other—

"Urgh!"

The other caught me across the face. There was no blood of course, but that single hit lopped off 15% of my health.

The other tanks weren't faring so well, either. From the corner of my eye, I watched their health bars dwindle: Crone's tank lost life in a steady drain while Mother's tank fell in massive, frightening chunks.

But Hecate was going down. As the last percent on Maiden vanished, I started to breathe easy.

Instead, she only began to glow green.

"Maiden's healing! Finish the other two, now!"

Klein directed the DPS on Maiden to the other two bosses, but I was left alone as her whips cracked all around me. My health sloughed off with each blow: 50%, then 35%, then 20%…

I popped a Healing Crystal, buying myself a short reprieve, but I was alone there. All the others had gone to attack Mother and Crone. If I had died there, in front of Maiden, I would've died without a single eye on me—a fitting death for any sinner, for someone who had blood on his hands from his own selfishness.

But that wasn't to be that day. As blades and maces glowed with the power of Sword Skills, or with the bloody red light from the lava below, Mother and Crone's health trickled down, and the bosses shattered, one after the other.

When Hecate's death cry went out, I was still alive. I had only 15% health left, but I lived. A few muted cheers went through the group after that harrowing fight, but Klein was quick to try to lift everyone's spirits.

"Good work, everyone! Grats on loot, and we'll be in touch about clearing Floor 35. Be safe, and see you out there."

A couple people looked excited; maybe they received major upgrades. I didn't get anything, and that suited me fine. I didn't care for earning items on the backs of the dead or wounded. I just wanted to be done.

I reached into my belt for a Teleport Crystal. Others would find the stair to Floor 35 and consider exploring, but I'd had enough excitement for one day.

"Ah, Kirito, do you have a minute?"

That was Klein, who blocked the walkway, as if that meant something against a Teleport Crystal.

"I'm trying to remember if we discussed when we were going to burn the boss. Was it really 15%? It seems awfully high, but if you thought it was 15%, that must've been what we agreed on."

"You don't need to beat around the bush with me, Klein. We said we'd burn it down at 10%. I changed the strategy, and only the raid leader should do that. I'm sorry."

He shook his head and sighed.

"This isn't about respect for leadership. The other tanks weren't ready for that. You could've gotten someone killed out there."

"Schmitt _was_ going to get someone killed out there, switching early before anyone was prepared. And if we couldn't kill the boss, you'd have called the wipe and reset it before anyone was put in serious danger."

"Yeah? Have you looked at your health lately? You still could've let Schmitt switch in after you burned your Healing Crystal. You can't do this all yourself, Kirito. We've got to work together. If people know or think something different from everyone else, and they don't share that, it puts everybody in jeopardy."

"I know the consequences of not sharing information. You don't have to remind me."

Klein pursed his lips and nodded.

"Right, sorry, I know you do. Take care, Kirito. See you at the next strategy meeting, yeah?"

I nodded, and I held the Teleport Crystal over my head.

"Teleport: Londinium."

The lava pit and floating walkways disappeared around me. In their place came a stone road flanked by sidewalks and grassy fields. It was a pleasant warmth, not the oppressive heat of the lava pit, and I closed my eyes for a moment just to feel the wind on my face.

"Rough fight today?"

My eyes snapped open, settling on a girl with short dark hair, blue armor, a lighter blue skirt, and boots up three-quarters of the way to her knees.

"It wasn't too bad. A little rough at the end, that's all."

"Anything nice drop?"

I shook my head.

"You have terrible dice."

"It's fine. I get by with what I have. It'd be wrong to ask for more since there are some people…, well, you know."

She nodded, and she turned away from the teleport plaza.

"Let's go home."

Sachi started down the stone road, and I followed after her.

#

Sachi lived because she converted herself to a crafting build.

SAO restricted characters to a limited number of skill slots, with more unlocking at higher levels. For progression raiders, that left little room for useful professions—for crafting or appraising items, for instance. With Sachi picking up the skills we lacked, she could still be useful to the guild without putting herself in jeopardy.

She opened a stand in the Londinium market on Floor 25, making cloth armor and brewing potions now and then. With the help of another merchant I knew, she started making a decent amount of money for the guild. That's how we were able to afford our guild house: a Roman-style villa on the outskirts of Londinium. It was a bit far from the teleport plaza, but that way we could buy it on the cheap and still have enough living space for the six of us.

Of course, the others never set foot in that house.

In fact, the first time I saw the villa was when I came back from that massacre. Sachi had given us all the coordinates to come back to, but I was the only one who came. She'd opened the door, hoping to welcome us all.

"Kirito? Why are you—where are the others?"

My throat closed up. I couldn't speak; I couldn't breathe. I couldn't even look at her, but I saw the tears well up in her eyes anyway. She lost her balance and fell against the doorframe. I tried to catch her; we only ended up catching each other.

I told her the truth that day: that I was a hated and despised beater, that I outleveled them all, and that's why I survived. I'd thought for sure she would hate me, that she would despise me, but Sachi did nothing of the kind.

"You may have made a mistake, but you were looking out for us. You watched over and protected all of us. If not for you, we could've died in that dungeon you found us in. You gave us a chance. Don't blame yourself."

That was too kind of her, really, but I needed that kindness from her. I needed it as I shed every tear my eyes could muster.

"Don't blame yourself. If anything, I should've been there. I should've been there…."

If Sachi had been there, she'd have died, too. She wasn't the one who deserved blame.

But, grief isn't a logical thing. I'd learned that well. All we could do was keep going, no matter what was behind us, because the future was always ahead.

What was ahead of Sachi and me was the house we shared, the official home of Black Cats of the Full Moon, all two of us. As I said, it was built in the style of an ancient Roman villa. The first thing you'd notice was the hole in the roof, hanging over a square pool. Apparently it was meant to collect rainwater for safe drinking. In this day and age, it only contributed to a slight draft. For summer, though, that wasn't so bad.

Further in, there was an interior courtyard, lined with white columns. Most of the rooms around the courtyard opened to the outside, with just a little shade from an overhanging roof. The Romans, I'd learned, put a premium on their scenery. The courtyard provided a nice view for each of the bedrooms, all six of them.

A pity there were only two of us left, then.

From time to time, I'd thought the house was too big and cavernous to enjoy. It must've been like what parents feel when their children move away and go to university or find jobs elsewhere. Sachi and I had never had the pleasure of the rest of the guild in that house, but it still felt too large. It had too much room, enough to be haunted with their spirits. Sachi didn't feel that way, though:

"It'd be hard to find another place in town, and as long I'm working in Londinium, it's good to be on this floor. Besides, I think the others would want us to use this house. This was something we all had a part of, and I don't want to be away from them."

And so, Black Cats' villa had become our home.

It was still rather early that afternoon—the raid had been planned to go two more hours if need be—but Sachi and I agreed it was a good time for dinner. The market was slow on Sundays, and I was ready to relax for the rest of the day. Exploring Floor 35 would make for a long, intense day come morning.

Neither of us spent much time leveling Cooking, so dinner was a set of unprepared foods. SAO was a lot of things, but it would seldom kill you from starvation. Lots of foods were more or less ready to eat, and Cooking was more of a luxury—an enjoyable luxury, but a luxury nonetheless. That day, we dined on skewers of hog meat and carrots. The meat was, to be honest, a little thin and unfulfilling. We might've done better feeding the carrots to the pigs before butchering them.

Our dining room wasn't particularly comfortable, either. Apparently the Romans liked to lie on their sides while eating, so instead of a low, Japanese-style table or even a Western-style set with chairs, all we had were three low couches and some iron endtables. It was an off-putting experience, even after a couple months to get used to it.

"So, tell me about this boss today."

That was Sachi, at my left. We sat on the same couch usually, leaving the other two reserved.

"It was kind of a council-type boss. A little unusual in that it couldn't actually move; you just had to tank it from three different sides. Nothing too weird. I'd call it a simple test of tank execution and a DPS check. I liked the soft enrage mechanic, though."

"What was that?"

I scoffed a bit.

"You're awfully interested in the raids all of a sudden."

When Sachi was unhappy about something, she could make a whiny, petulant expression.

"It's boring in the market some days. Can't you give a girl a little excitement once in a while?"

"It's not any less tedious in the raids, either. Like today, there was a lot of emphasis on tank execution, but the DPS just had to follow the boss and not run off the walkways into the lava. If you already knew how to execute a good rotation, there really wasn't much to learn."

"But what about this soft enrage?"

"Ah, that was about the walkways. Hecate would try to destroy the walkways when she teleported, and if you left her alone, she would collapse them and gain a stacking damage buff. Each time she succeeded, it would make it more and more difficult to get to her, and the tanks wouldn't be able to tank her as long without having to switch, which is what made her teleport in the first place. It was a simple concept fight, but you had to be really careful about figuring out all those little details to make it work."

"You make it all sound so simple."

"It got a little tense. Hecate was an angry woman with a whip, and I'd just as soon never see again. Knowing this game, I'm probably not so lucky."

I put down an empty plate and looked across the couch, back at Sachi.

"What about you? There had to be something interesting that happened at the market today."

She pursed her lips.

"I don't know about interesting so much as weird. I had a customer come by looking to make a stack of paralysis potions."

"Paralysis potions? I don't know anyone who uses those except for orange players."

"That's what I thought, too! So I was real concerned about it. A couple of the other merchants took an interest, also, but the man explained he was trying to become a beast tamer, and he was hoping to paralyze some birds to tame a lizard they were hunting. He wanted to use paralysis because he believed if he indiscriminately killed the birds, he might kill a lizard by mistake, and then none of them would approach him to be tamed."

"Stands to reason, I guess."

"But he was kind of bad at math. He didn't realize he had mats for only 19 potions instead of 20. When I told him that, he wanted to cancel the transaction completely, saying he had to go back and farm one more herb so it would be an even 20."

"What? You're joking."

"I'm not! It was the strangest thing I'd ever seen. I'm not sure if I want him to come back."

I shrugged at that.

"People are superstitious, especially in games. I knew someone who was convinced that crossing his eyes and singing would get him better rolls on loot."

Sachi giggled.

"Ducker was the same way! We used to play _Day of Sagittarius VIII_, and he liked the most RNG attacks you could ever imagine. He thoroughly believed he was lucky, but only as long as he had this plastic, glow-in-the-dark ring on his finger."

"Where on earth did he get that?"

"He said a girl gave it to him when he was seven. They were playing in an arcade, and when he put that on his finger, he got the high score on some shooting game, so he held on to it ever since."

"I think he missed the point there."

"He usually did. There was a girl who would come by the club room from time to time, looking for help with her laptop, and she always asked for Ducker. He never got the hint."

Sachi smiled during this reminiscence, but her gaze went to one of the empty couches opposite us, and she soon went quiet. It was like this a lot, ever since we'd moved into this place. Sometimes, the others would come up in conversation. At first, it was awkward, almost taboo, but after abruptly changing the subject a few times, I think we both got tired of avoiding it. It happened. It was reality. Not talking about them wouldn't change the fact that they were dead.

Sachi went on.

"Well, if that man comes back, I guess I'll have something interesting to talk about tomorrow."

"You're doing good work. Didn't you have some KoB people buy some potions the other day? There aren't many alchemists people trust not to scam them."

She nodded, but after that it was quiet again.

We spent the next couple hours tending to the house. There was a garden out back that we used for her farming. That way, Sachi could sell some potions on her own, without needing mats from customers. Still, even that chore didn't take long, and we retired early.

There were six bedrooms in the villa, one for each member of the guild, but Sachi and I only used one. It was technically my room. Sachi kept a chest of belongings in the adjacent bedroom, which we considered hers. How we came to share one bedroom is a bit of a story: the nights in that villa were deathly silent, and even sleeping in adjacent rooms, it was uncomfortable for us. Sachi was the one who suggested it—that we sleep in the same room, at least—and I'd agreed. Neither of us wanted to force the other to sleep in a cot or futon, however—and SAO had very limited options for either. So, we began sleeping in the same bed, too.

Let me be clear: the relationship between Sachi and me wasn't what I'd call romantic. There were no blown kisses or awkward giggling. There wasn't a momentous confession scene involving heartfelt notes tucked into each other's shoes. Given that our boots were stored in inventory at night, such a thing would've been thoroughly impossible.

That's not to say Sachi was an unattractive girl. I don't know if Sachi ever had such thoughts, but for my part, it was hard enough to feel I deserved even this tenuous companionship. We were just a couple of broken-hearted people, trying to survive in a deadly world. The unspoken bond we shared was enough, really. I couldn't imagine it going any further.

After all, you're always at least one secret away from truly knowing a person.

And I liked the Sachi I knew well enough.

As Sachi lay beside me that night, I looked across the bed at her sleeping face. It was tense, I thought, and perhaps a bit stressed. There was a furrowing of her brow that looked the opposite of relaxed, the opposite of the way a sleeping person should be. I had to wonder: did Kayaba really go to the trouble to model how a sleeping person's face should look, based on how they felt, on what dreams came to them?

I couldn't know, but I reached across the space between Sachi and me anyway. I brushed some hair from her eyes, tucking it behind her ear.

"YAH!"

And she sat straight upright, eyes wide. She panted and heaved, and she stared curling up into a ball.

"What is it? What happened?"

She whimpered a bit, burying her head between her chest and her knees. I slid over, holding her lightly, and asked a different question.

"Who was it today?"

She wiped her cheek with her hand and spoke haltingly.

"It was…Tetsuo. He always used to smile, remember?"

I remembered. He was one of the most cheerful forwards I'd met in the game. Most were aggressive and moody to a fault, but Tetsuo used to swing his mace at enemies with an apologetic look of gratitude, as if to say, "I'm sorry, but I do need to kill you for money and experience, so please take this mace to your skull with my sincerest apologies." He was a good guy. He deserved better.

I rubbed Sachi's back, trying to calm her down. I didn't say anything. If she wanted to talk about it more, she would. She did.

"I was watching through a doorway, and he was surrounded by dwarves. He kept swinging at them, fending them off, but every time he did, he looked to the doorway—at me—and said something like,

" 'Sachi? You're coming to help me, aren't you?'

"And all the while he had that pleasant smile on his face, like he believed I'd come to help him, absolutely. But I just stood there. My feet wouldn't move. Even as the dwarves hacked and picked at his body, he kept smiling at me!"

I pulled her closer, trying to damp the trembling in her body.

"It's all right. It's over. You're safe now. You're with me."

She sniffled and nodded at that, but she turned her head away from me and stared at the wall.

"Still, I should've been there, too."

#

The next morning, I found out the raiding guilds had already set up camp at the first town on Floor 35, the German-style village of Mishe.

I spent most of that morning exploring the vicinity around town. There was an interesting outdoor dungeon to the north—the "Forest of Wandering." The Forest had some arcane puzzle-based navigation mechanic, but even some hardcore raiders were trying to work out a system, for there were Giant Bees in some parts of the zone. Bees dropped several useful crating mats, inlucing Beeswax, a critical ingredient for high-end threads used in Tailoring. If Sachi had some Wax-coated Thread, she could make a fortune.

But at that point, I was starting to wonder: if I messaged Sachi about that, would she be excited? Or would she say, "That's really nice, isn't it," and go back about her business?

Something wasn't right with Sachi. To that point, I hadn't paid a lot of attention to her nightmares. Why? Because I had nightmares, too. You would have to be a monster not to have nightmares, not to be affected in some way, by what happened to the rest of your own guild.

But it was to the point where I didn't even need to ask her what it was about. I _knew_.

Sachi had stopped thinking hard about her work at the market, either. That incident with the paralysis potion man was something far from her mind until she took a moment to remember it. She asked a lot of questions about the raid, and in great detail, at that.

She must've wanted to feel connected to something. That had to be it. Ever since the rest of the guild had died, we'd lived together, but the cloud of the others' deaths had hung over us, casting a shadow. I felt it all the time. I felt it when Schmitt was so selfish and cowardly—the way I had been then, when I didn't speak up loud enough, when I didn't out myself as a beater, and the rest of the guild died for it.

But Sachi felt it differently. They were all her friends. They were her friends more than mine, honestly. She knew them longer. She knew them in real life. They'd seen each other day in and day out for months, maybe years.

I'd told myself I didn't deserve more than what I had, but maybe Sachi wanted that, and I was the one pushing her away.

While some of the raiding guilds amassed to get a look at the field boss (a 20-meter-tall ant that breathed flammable acid), I took the teleport gate back to Londinium. Though the teleport plaza there was far from our home, it was only a short walk to the market: a collection of exhibition halls and covered walkways, where anyone could shop even in rain or snow without getting wet. In the summer, the market NPCs kept the windows open for ventilation, and it was needed. Seasons in SAO were mild compared to the real world, but you could still build up a sweat inside one of the market's halls in August. That day was no exception.

In fact, as I wiped a bead of sweat from my brow, one of the merchants called to me.

"I think you've taken a wrong turn. Shouldn't you be on Floor 35?"

That bald-headed man with a huge grin was Agil. His stand was small, but Agil would say that was because he didn't need a lot of space to do his work. Smiths needed a furnace and anvil at bare minimum, but Agil's specialization in Weapon and Armor Appraisal meant all he needed was a piece of inventory in front of him to do his work. SAO was a remarkably opaque game; it wouldn't even tell you what the stats were on an item that dropped, and only someone with Appraisal skills could do the job. Agil's skill level, and presence in the raiding community, meant that he was a preferred contractor for this service.

But just because he was valued didn't mean I had to put up with his jabs—not without giving back in kind.

"Shouldn't you be up there, too? Or do you like hanging out ten floors behind?"

"Most of my clientele lives here. There's a theory going around that every 25 floors is a particularly hard boss and a particularly large city, too. Maybe I'll move when we get up to 50 or so."

He looked to his left, where a smith had crowded the space next to Agil with an extensive collection of knives.

"I don't need a lot of room to work, but it'd be nice to have some space to myself."

"Not too much. You don't want to live in a cavern. Take it from me."

Agil nodded at that.

"How's Sachi doing?"

"She's all right, I think. Haven't you seen her today?"

"A little bit in the morning, but…."

He pointed across and down the row of stands. At Sachi's, there was only a folded up card on display:

_Back at 13:00._

"She's gone to lunch?"

Agil shook his head at that.

"I don't think so. Most of us eat at our stands; we can't afford to lose the business. Sachi used to do the same, until a couple weeks ago."

"A couple _weeks_?"

"She always comes back at one o'clock sharp. Relax. Klein told me you've been a little touchy lately."

"What do you mean? Is this about that tank from DDA?"

"A little of that, yeah. Not to say you didn't have good reason to ream him out, but as a solo player, you have to be careful. A lot of the raiding guilds would rather do everything with their own members, or members from guilds who participate in common information sharing."

"Since when does DDA do 'common information sharing'?"

Agil grimaced, conceding the point, but he went on.

"They still manage to complain about solo players hoarding information and items for themselves. They'd just as soon as not deal with someone like you. Humiliating a top tank and putting a raid in jeopardy gives them ammunition."

"I've been hated for worse things by better people. I'll manage."

"I know you will. Next time you need someone to watch your back, give me a call, all right?"

"Will do, Agil. Will do."

I glanced back again at Sachi's stand.

"Well, I guess I should go track her down. I wanted to take her out to lunch; as it is, I may only have enough time to tell her about the beeswax on Floor 35. She'll need to know about that for thread."

Agil frowned at that, and I knew right away there was something wrong.

"What? What's with that look?"

"Kirito, Sachi gave up Tailoring."

"You're joking. Did she drop Alchemy too?"

"No, she still makes potions for people, but she specifically told me she was dropping Tailoring for now, until she had the skill slots open to pick it back up again."

"Skill slots don't open up spontaneously. You only get new ones as you level."

"You know that, and I know that. Sachi knows that, too."

So that's how it was. Sachi had said it often: that she felt she should've been there. In reality, it never would've made a difference. I would've tried to protect her to the end, but that chest trap triggered too many dwarf guardians and elementals. More likely than not, she would've died there, and I never would've been able to do a thing about it.

But just because that was the truth didn't mean Sachi believed it. It didn't mean she would feel totally comfortable with the life she'd chosen to lead. I'd thought this was just about feeling connected; it was much more than that.

My suspicions led me to track Sachi down through our guild list. Sachi was still on the same floor, but at the outskirts of the city, where the wilderness began. That in itself was dangerous: Floor 25 had had a lot of traps when we first arrived. The raiding guilds had been through hell just to get close enough to see Londinium on their maps. Most of the nearby areas had been thoroughly cleared; as long as she stayed close to town, there shouldn't have been too much danger. That said, Londinium, like its historical counterpart, sat on the banks of a river, and Sachi's coordinates were just upstream. Rivers were dangerous. Water greatly reduced player mobility, and it made dodges and other acrobatics ineffective. A pack of mobs you could easily defeat on land might kill you just as quickly in the water.

Sure enough, to my horror, I found Sachi wading ankle-deep in the river. Her boots wouldn't take durability damage just from that, but she was entirely at the mercy of whatever came after her. Sachi had stopped trying to level on Floor 18. The mobs on Floor 25 were all at least 10 levels higher. Having neglected her combat skills for so long, she wouldn't have a chance!

"Sachi!"

She jerked in surprise, and only then did I see what she was wielding: a one-handed sword and a bronze shield. That was better for staying alive in one-on-one combat, but it would prolong battles and make her susceptible to getting ganged up on by a pack she couldn't hope to kill.

And what was worse, something was coming: a fin stuck out of the water. The veins within ran red and shimmered.

I ran from the path to the river's bank, and I offered my hand.

"Put your weapons away; get out of the water, before that mob gets here!"

But Sachi shook her head, and she waded deeper, up to her knees.

I had no choice but to go after her. This was exactly what I wanted her to avoid. This was the kind of combat she _should've_ been afraid of.

But the mob had closed too fast. It reared its head out of the water, revealing the sharp, man-piercing teeth of a giant Brown Trout. Sachi crouched down, into a fighting stance, and she said something utterly ridiculous:

"Be ready to switch."

"You want to do _what_?"

The Brown Trout wiggled its tail and lunged at Sachi, but she thrust her shield at the mob and batted it aside. Then, with her sword, she made a pair of diagonal slashes—the characteristic V-shape of a Vertical Arc.

"KEE!"

The fish squealed, and its HP dropped by about a quarter. My eyes about fell out of their sockets when I saw that! Sachi had done that much damage, with a one-handed sword, in one attack?

The Brown Trout charged again, and this time, Sachi didn't even bother to block it. She made an upward, diagonal slash from her forehand. Then, she turned her wrist over and followed with a horizontal, backhanded cut. Finally, another turn of the wrist led to a forehand slice, this time with a downward angle. It was a correct, if stilted, Sharp Nail combo attack. The Brown Trout dropped to 40%.

"Now, switch!"

That wasn't easily done in water, but I charged ahead anyway. There was no need to be fancy. At my level, against mobs on this floor, a simple Horizontal slash would do.

"KEE…!"

The Brown Trout disintegrated in a shower of light, and for both Sachi and me, a results window came up with a report of accumulated experience, col, and items.

"Can you believe it? Only 50 col for that thing? How cheap."

I let out an stunned hiss at that, but Sachi paid me no mind. She turned her sword over, admiring her reflection in its sheen.

"So, Kirito, how was your morning?"

#

On the way home, I got the full explanation from Sachi. You see, I'd thought she was in over her head. I'd thought she was crazy for going out against mobs that were so high in level, so far beyond her.

But they weren't beyond her.

Sachi had been leveling on her own—in the mornings, before she went to market; during lunch hours; and even after the market closed each day—for over two weeks before I'd discovered it. Because we controlled what was left of Black Cats' guild bank, we had an ample amount of col for just two people, enough for Sachi to buy top-notch crafted gear for her level. All that, plus some patience and dedication, had helped her catch up to Londinium, but it hadn't been easy.

"When I got started, I was really rusty. I fought one of the mountain trolls on Floor 21. You remember them, right? Well, when the troll enraged, I had to burn through a healing crystal within the first ten seconds! It was scary to realize I was so unprepared. After that, I went way lower, back down to Floor 15. I needed a lot more breathing room, and I found it there. Still, I'm glad you found me out. Now I can ask for your help."

Sachi wasn't a total noob to the game. She'd played a couple MMOs in the past, so she was familiar with all the basic concepts. It was the VR technology that made combat too real for her. It was the natural instinct for self-preservation that filled her with terror whenever a pack of mobs faced her down.

At least, that's how I'd remembered Sachi before. The Sachi I met by the river was different. She still griped when the mob didn't drop as much loot as she wanted, but that was all. The fear in her had gone. An unexpected mob pack was more of a minor inconvenience than a serious threat. It was no more worth comment than having a crosswalk signal change in front of you, making you wait for traffic before you could get on your way. That's how Sachi had reacted, and that's how she felt herself. Being afraid was just one of those obstacles that would tire her out or wear her down if she let it get to her. That's what she told me.

"I just couldn't do it anymore. I'd sit in the market all day, nice and safe. A lot of the people there have contact with the raiding guilds, but not all of them have been there. They think they understand, but they don't. They hear about the raids, they read the casualty reports, and they pretend it can't happen to them. A lot of them don't have dead friends haunting them in their sleep. They don't see ghosts in their dreams!"

Sachi said the last sentence so forcefully her whole body shook. I offered her some comfort:

"Hold on to my hand. It's okay."

She took it gingerly, but we kept our linked hands between us, out of sight from casual onlookers, and Sachi went on:

"I don't have the right to be so safe. I made a choice to go with them when we left Starting City. That was the right choice. I just didn't have the strength to see it through then. I'm no stronger now, either. I just know that I can't be afraid of that anymore. You're going out there every day, Kirito. I don't know what I'd do if you didn't come back, or how I'd feel if I knew I could've been there to help you, and I wasn't.

"I'm tired of being afraid. I'm tired of that weight pressing down on me. And you know what? I think that's good. It's good that I'm tired of it because now, I can do something. Now, I'm so tired of it that I can't even feel that fear anymore. I could look in the mouth of a dragon and laugh! And that's good, on the one hand, because it means I can do things I couldn't bring myself to do before. But it's also bad. Maybe I'm not afraid even when I should be. That's why it's better that you found me, I think. You can tell me when I'm about to do something that would get me killed, and I need that voice from someone. So, please, Kirito. Please help me."

It was a passionate, heartfelt sentiment, but there was something nagging at me, and I tried to give that worry form:

"Help you do what? What is it you what to do, ultimately? Do you want to be like the guild was, picking at dungeons on lower floors? Or do you want something else?"

"I want to raid. I want to be a part of the solution to this game, like you are. I wouldn't be able to stand it if I were anything less."

That's what troubled me—not what she wanted, but _why_ she wanted it. Without a doubt, she was eager to impress upon me how important this was to her:

"I want to know when new sword skills unlock. I want to know how I should integrate them into my rotation. I need to learn from you good strategies for crystal management, and how to work with other forwards in a raid. I know I have a lot to learn, Kirito, but this is something I need to do."

"And you want me to be the one to teach you? You want me to be responsible for you? If I make one mistake—"

"You're not going to do that again. This isn't like before, and you're not solely responsible for me, whether I live or die. We're responsible for each other, right? So let's do this together, Kirito. Let's put all of that behind us."

Put it behind us, huh?

I don't think I realized until then how much guilt I still carried with me. The end of Black Cats _had_ left a scar on my heart, a scar that I needed to heal just as much as Sachi needed to heal hers.

And if I did my best to teach Sachi how to be a tanking forward, if I stayed honest with myself about her capabilities, I wouldn't fail her, right? If in the end she did die in a raid, as long as I did my best…

No, who was I kidding? It would crush me. Even if I did everything right, my heart would collapse from the shock, just as a giant star collapses to a black hole at the end of its life.

But if I said no, it would leave Sachi on her own, and few places were safe in SAO, let alone safe to go on your own. And if she couldn't trust me to help her then, how could I ever be there for her in the future?

"It's okay, Kirito. I understand."

After I'd stayed quiet for so long, Sachi started to take my silence the wrong way.

"You're right to doubt me. Just because I've forced myself not to be scared doesn't mean it won't happen again. Maybe no one should rely on me. It's hard to protect people when you're afraid for yourself. I'm sorry I asked all this of you. I just—"

"Sachi."

"What?"

"You shouldn't go to the river anymore."

Her eyes widened, and she looked downcast.

"I see. So it's just as I thought."

"If you were thinking that the river is a terribly inefficient grinding spot, then you'd be right. There's a spawn point for walrus herds on the coast. The raiding guilds used to use it as a good site for XP farming. Let's head over there and see what you can do, all right?"

She gasped, putting her hands together in surprise.

"Oh…okay!"

With that, I turned the two of us to the north, but Sachi pulled away from me, giving me a sharp look.

"Were you trying to be cool, pretending to reject me like that?"

Maybe I just had to see how excited she would be. And it was worth it. If teaching Sachi how to tank would let her hold on to that joy and excitement, maybe that would be enough for both of us—enough for us to move on and heal.

That I believed such a thing should show you how desperate I was—how desperate we both were.

After all, no one in SAO ever used a sword to heal wounds.

* * *

_Auld Lang Syne_ updates every two weeks, so look forward to the next chapter on Saturday, August 23, 2014, at 1 PM EDT (10 AM PDT), after the official stream of SAO II Episode 8.

Next time: "Iskandariya." With Sachi learning the ropes from Kirito, it's time to get her a tryout for raiding, but Asuna is determined to test more than just Sachi's fighting skill.

For notes and commentary on this chapter and others, check out the _Auld Lang Syne_ thread on Sufficient Velocity.


	2. Iskandariya

**Iskandariya**  
_Aincrad Floor 37 - September 17, 2023_

Over the next month, I trained Sachi in the art of tanking. From the Walrus Fields on Floor 25 to villages of Ogre Warlocks on Floor 32, we toiled, day in and day out, to get her repetitions doing the things a tank needs to do: holding mobs' attention, gathering loose adds, defending oneself from incoming damage, and the like.

I could only teach Sachi so much myself, since I wasn't really a tank—at best, with my level and high agility, I could fake it against some mobs, but that was all. Still, between what I knew from other games and conversations with some tanks we knew in the raiding community, Sachi began to learn and grow.

But as one gains skill points and levels up, old challenges become obsolete. It takes more and more XP to level, and mobs that used to lop off half your health in a single hit start to feel like they're swinging with pillows instead of swords.

When that happened with Sachi, we would move up a floor, and I would test her further. That process repeated itself until we found ourselves just behind the raid group's progress, on Floor 37—home to water-poaching mercenaries, two-headed camels, and other mobs that would be a challenge to Sachi's skills.

"Keep your eyes on the rocks, Sachi. Mobs could be hiding out there, waiting for us to get in a bad position."

With a white, hooded cloak protecting her from the sun, Sachi kept a hand on her sword at all times.

"You think they could be close?"

"I think hostile mobs could be anywhere. We shouldn't—"

The earth rumbled, lurching and shifting. Sand ran off the top of nearby dunes.

"Kirito!"

Sachi grabbed my arm, pulling me close.

"Is it right under us?"

No, thank goodness. A bulge formed in the sand, about ten meters away. It rose to a peak, and then—

KA-WHOOM!

A wave of gas spewed from the ground. It kicked up a shower of sand, and the gas carried with it a sweet, pungent odor. It stuck on my tongue, giving a slight buzz.

An icon appeared near my health bar, and I tapped the area for a description:

_Energized: The Spice flows through you. Increased Attack and Movement Speed. 5 minutes remaining._

Game designers can be so quick to rip off something famous.

But there were more benefits to this "blow event" than a brief buff: a masked, humanoid mob lay flat near the top of a dune, staying put while the blow tapered off. It met my gaze and scampered down the other side of the dune, but I already had my sword in hand.

"Stay back. I'll pull."

"You're pulling? How am I supposed to keep all the mobs off you like that?"

"Sometimes DPS will pull. Maybe because they're impatient, or on accident. Still, the group needs to be able to recover even in a less-than-ideal scenario."

"So you want to see what I'll do in a pinch."

She got it.

"I see. So, we've just finished a grueling pull. I'm at low health, but my good-for-nothing second forward is impatient for more loot, and so he goes searching for more mobs to aggravate."

She clapped her hands together for her conclusion, positively beaming.

"Is that the scenario you had in mind?"

Some tanks let everything go to their heads.

While Sachi giggled at the base of a dune, I headed up to challenge the mobs that were hiding. My approach got their attention: a group of five "Dusken Raiders" sprang from the back side of the dune. In brown, hooded cloaks and black masks, four of them drew swords, but the last had a different, more exotic weapon:

A grappling hook.

It wasn't a traditional hook, though, because what it actually did—

"ARGH!"

…was stick in your chest, sinking its hooks in. On a technical level, this was a debuff. More practically, it _really hurt_, even with a strong pain absorber.

With their hooks into me, the Duskens reeled me in like a fish, and in the blink of an eye, I was utterly surrounded.

If I'd remembered they had these weapons, I would've let Sachi pull instead!

Seriously, it would've been good practice for her. I wouldn't do that just to be mean, or to get back at her for that cute remark about me being overaggressive. I would never do that.

Ahem.

Anyway, being surrounded by five Dusken Raiders would do just as well for testing Sachi. If she failed, I would probably fall to half health just trying to fight my way out!

Sachi must've known that, too, for she started rushing up the other side of the dune.

"Kirito!"

Her voice was distant, so I went to work. I charged at one of the Duskens and bowled him over, breaking through the circle of mobs. Duskens were reasonably intelligent, but they weren't very strong. Once stunned and disarmed, all it took was a couple sword swings, and the first one bit the dust.

Sachi came over the top of the dune just in time to see the first Dusken disintegrate.

"You started without me?"

"I didn't exactly have a choice!"

And the four other Dusken Raiders weren't going to wait for us to finish squabbling about it, either. The four that remained charged at us, and I stepped back, letting Sachi take the brunt of the hit. The four swords bounced off her shield harmlessly.

The Duskens adapated: two stayed at Sachi's front while the others flanked her, one on each side. I advised her,

"You're in a weak position. What do you need to do?"

"No advice; I've got this!"

"All yours."

Sachi dug her heels in the sand and charged. She barreled through the pair of enemies in front of her, knocking them down and stunning them with the shield; then, she whirled for a 270-degree backhanded slash, cutting both of the enemies on her sides. Those two backed off, nursing their wounds, and Sachi continued ahead, past the trampled Duskens, finishing a 540-degree turn, so that she faced opposite of where she began. Now, all her foes were in front of her. If they wanted to flank her again, they would have to contend with her sword.

For that reason, I had to be a little harsh in my grading.

"Good, I like Swirling Charge there, but you could be more fluid. I give you 7.7 out of 10 there."

"7.7? That was worth at least a 7.9!"

Sachi delivered a backhanded Shield Bash to one of the Duskens, and I finished it off with a Vertical. Still, her ability to argue my grading while fending off Dusken Raiders wouldn't influence my decision.

"Anything above a 7.8 would be a heinous crime against the Aincrad Accreditation Authority. I won't compromise principles just to make you happy."

"You're pretty cold, you know that?"

"What? Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

Somewhere in this back and forth, I think a few more Dusken Raiders died, but I wasn't finished.

"You don't want me easing up on you just because we're friends, right? You came to me saying you wanted to be a tank after all. That means I'm going to test you, and I'm not going to let up. Understand?"

With that adorable, amused grin, Sachi clicked her heels, standing at attention.

"Yes, Sergeant Kirito! I apologize! It won't happen again!"

She was having way too much fun with this. Ah well. I would've broken into a smile over it too, if it hadn't been for the sudden vibration in the earth.

"What's that? Another blow?"

That wasn't another blow. It was too arrhythmic, too disorderly.

I hiked back to the top of the dune. Sure enough, there were more Dusken Raiders hiding behind it. They were crouched down, and they bared their swords while they protected a machine. With four moving pistons, each pounding the sand, the machine was making quite a racket. If left alone, the device would attract more attention than just other Dusken Raiders. To deal with it, I briefed Sachi on my plan.

"Jump in there and distract the Duskens. I'll dismantle the Attractor."

Sachi peered over the dune, looking a bit nervous.

"Oh—okay. Well, here we go again!"

She let out a sigh, steeled herself, and charged into the fray. She took two steps and took off on a giant leap, landing in the middle of the pack and slamming her shield into the sand. This _Colossal Wave_ knocked down the Duskens, but there was a slight problem:

"Ah, Kirito!"

Sachi's shield ended up buried under the surface sand layer.

"What am I supposed to do now?"

"Is that really—wow, I didn't think the weapon-environment interaction was _that_ sophisticated."

"This isn't the time to be impressed!"

She had me there. Since Sachi was defenseless, I gave up on trying to damage the Attractor. One of the Duskens had already gone back to guard the machine while the other three closed in around Sachi. Well, I changed that in a hurry: Vertical, Vertical, Vertical Square, dead. These guys really didn't stand up well to my sword.

Having cut down the Dusken who had gone for Sachi's back, that left two engaged with her and the last one by the Attractor. Finally, Sachi yanked her shield from the ground, and she went to work.

"Can you get my right?"

I nodded.

"Thanks."

It was a lot easier for tanks to attack on their off-hand side—usually, their left—because the shield was a lot easier to attack with in a backhand motion. I covered Sachi's forehand while she set her sights on a single mob. She backhanded him with her shield. Then, she followed up with a diagonal, horizontal, and another diagonal slash. It was, essentially, a Shield Bash plus a Sharp Nail. A witty designer had had the nerve to call this a _Blunt Nail_.

Did I mention designers aren't very creative?

Sachi took care of one Raider while I dispatched of another. That just left the last Dusken Raider guarding the Attractor.

Now, you may be wondering what this Attractor was, or what it was supposed to do. Would it help if I said the item's full name was _Worm Attractor_?

I bet you can guess now: the four oscillating pistons drove a central ram, which pounded the sand to create a disturbance. The Sandfish that liked to roam through the dunes would, when they matured, grow into Sandworms. These Sandworms took the vibrations of an Attractor as an indication of prey, and the Dusken Raiders used this behavioral tendency to their advantage, summoning worms to fight against unsuspecting players.

At least, that was the theory. The reason there weren't many Worm Attractors was that a Sandworm liked to devour the Attractor once it surfaced—along with anyone or anything else too close to the device at the time.

Alas, that included the last Dusken Raider, who was so fixated on us that his semi-sophisticated AI forgot to tell him to _get away from the surfacing worm_.

The Sandworm's mouth had three moving parts in a triangular arrangement. I don't know if I could reasonably describe it as a _jaw_. Whatever the best way to think about it, the Sandworm had no trouble devouring the Dusken Raider and its Attractor. I guess, unlike the worms in that book series, these Sandworms had no trouble with taking water-filled creatures as meals.

The Sandworm raised its head—its eyeless head that only had a gaping maw to face us—and reared back to strike.

"Over here!"

Sachi slapped her sword against the ground.

"Don't go for the guy in all black! He tastes boring!"

That Sandworm cocked its head, and I felt I had to step in to clarify.

"She means as food! Just food!"

At that, Sachi cracked a smile.

"What did you think I meant?"

The Sandworm didn't wait for my answer. It roared, and the wind was like a gust from a sandblaster. Sachi blocked the burst of sand with her shield, and she uncovered her eyes just in time to see the Sandworm bearing down on her. She looked between the worm and her shield and winced.

"I don't think blocking this worm is going to work!"

"Stay cool. Even getting devoured isn't a one-shot. If you get swallowed, I'll break you out."

Sachi's eyes went a little wide, but she faced down the Sandworm anyway, raising her shield high.

And it dove at her.

She stepped aside, and the edge of the worm's mouth impacted her shield. The worm batted her back like a ping-pong ball, and she slid in the sand, tumbling down. That one, indirect hit took off nearly 30% of her health. Getting swallowed might've been safer.

The Sandworm slithered past us. It circled back to make another pass at Sachi, but that's when I stepped in. The time for class was over.

I stood between them, and I cut the worm. I slashed and stabbed at it. I think it was eight times, but I can't be sure. With each blow, the Sandworm shuddered and screamed, but its monstrous, lumbering body couldn't keep up with me. I danced circles around it. I cut it to ribbons and left pieces strewn in a ring behind me.

And as the worm whimpered before me, left with only a sliver of health, I called back to the girl halfway down the dune.

"Sachi? Sachi, are you with me?"

She crawled to her feet, shaking the sand from her hair.

"I'm here."

"This is all yours. Get the last hit."

She trotted up to the side of the beast, and she slashed at it with a Vertical. The Sandworm disintegrated into polygonal shards, and our reward came in the results window. I hoped we'd get something nice for all our trouble, and fortunately, my thoughts weren't in vain.

"Look, look, it's a shield!"

A Worm-tooth Shield, as a matter of fact. Sachi scanned through her inventory and equipped it straight away. It was a barbed shield, with white teeth sticking out of the surface. It would be a good way to balance Sachi's defense with a bit of extra Thorns damage every time she was attacked.

Sachi turned the shield over, admiring how the worm's teeth gleamed in the desert sunlight.

That light was nothing compared to the smile on her face, though. Sachi wasn't a finished product as far as tanking forwards went, but she was close. Even in this difficult situation, facing a variety of mobs, she'd kept her head.

Truth be told, I can't take full credit for this transformation. I found Sachi this way, after we ran into that trout outside Londinium. Though she didn't always have all the fundamentals of playing a tank with a one-handed sword build, she had the spirit for it. The fear in her—the fear that used to be her defining quality—had gone. I asked her about it once, how she'd overcome that fear, and her answer was somewhat cryptic:

"I just realized there are more frightening things than a collection of pixels and nerve impulses, you know?"

Whatever that meant.

Well, I wasn't about to press the matter. Sachi was doing well—past all my expectations, anyway—so why mess with what was working?

Of course, it couldn't stay that way for long. We were on the highest available floor. There was only one thing left that Sachi could do, and on the walk back to Iskandariya, she asked me about it:

"So, Kirito, what do I need to do to get into a raid?"

I choked on some water from a canteen, and I patted my chest.

"Ah, that's—well, you, uh—you need to go on a tryout, probably. Unless you want to join a raiding guild?"

She shook her head, smiling wistfully.

"Black Cats is our guild. I wouldn't want to go anywhere else. Do other guilds do tryouts, then? Even for solo players?"

"A few do. You want me to ask?"

"If you think I'm ready."

She smiled at that, showing me those hopeful blue eyes of hers.

"Of course."

I put the canteen to my lips again and swallowed. I stared off to the right, and I watched the pyramids in the distance inch across the horizon with every step.

#

In truth, there weren't that many guilds who would take non-members to tryouts. Tryout runs cost time and manpower. Klein's guild, for instance, wasn't actively recruiting, so I couldn't ask them. Or, I could've, but to have them set aside time just for me and Sachi—that wouldn't have felt right.

No, there were other guilds that were actively recruiting. Sachi could piggy-back on one of those tryout runs, and it just so happened that I had a connection to one of them.

I waited for that connection at the Iskandariya teleport gate. She was a busy girl, after all, and that day she was leading a scout raid into the Labyrinth. Who knew when she'd be back in town?

I passed the time exploring the area around the teleport gate—a library and museum with a pond and garden surrounding the teleport gate—and sure enough, after a fashion, the scout team materialized, with members quickly evacuating the area for others to come through. One of them spoke before the assembled group:

"Okay, let's take a break, yeah? Half an hour to rest up and refresh yourselves. Get something to eat. We march on the Labyrinth again at 14:45."

That was the raid leader, the girl in red and white. Her rapier had no equal in speed or technique. For this reason, she was known as "The Flash," but I'd known her even before she'd put on that uniform or taken on that nickname.

"Yo, Asuna."

I caught her on the steps as she'd been making her way into the library, and she jerked in surprise.

"Kirito-kun?"

Then that surprise turned to a standoffish raise of an eyebrow.

"Somebody's friendly all of a sudden. Don't tell me you're here to argue some more about Zombifier."

Zombifier had been the Labyrinth boss on Floor 36, and Asuna and I had gotten into a heated exchange about the strategy for that fight. Admittedly, I got a little defensive when she brought that up.

"I would never argue about a fight that's already over and done with. Besides, it was your strategy that worked. If you hadn't zombified half the raid, there's no way we would've downed him."

"But it only worked because you insisted we save the tanks from zombification as long as possible, despite the DPS loss. Without that, I don't know that our tanks survive the fight. I hope we can have the same constructive arguments in the future, though perhaps without shouting out each other's eardrums, hm?"

"My sincerest apologies, Madam Deputy. It won't happen again."

"Oh, I think it will."

She said that with an amused, knowing smile.

"And please, none of that absurd formality from you. It's _Asuna_, like you said, right? Or are you going to pretend we didn't go through all the early floors together?"

It did seem like a long time ago, but that was just because so much had changed in half a year. Asuna was in a new guild, and I'd found one of my own. Still, to go back to those days, before we'd seen so much death, would've been a nice thing indeed.

But then, it's inevitable that people go on different paths, and it's not like it was purely accident that we'd grown apart, either. I'd had to turn down an offer from her personally just to stay out of KoB. I doubted I would've lasted long in that guild, anyway. Asuna's reputation as a taskmaster was already the stuff of legend, and I probably wouldn't have done well in a guild with so much structure.

Still, a part of me did wonder if things would've turned out differently—for myself, and for them—if I'd accepted.

Asuna must've noticed I was spacing out a bit, for she waved a hand in front of my face.

"Are you here to get something to eat? I have to grab a quick bite before we head back."

"Hm?"

I snapped to attention.

"Ah, actually, I'm here to see you."

"Me?"

Her eyes went wide at that, but she quickly shook her head.

"I'm sorry. All requests of that nature have to be made in writing. If I choose to reciprocate your interest, you'll have to consent to an escort of at least one other KoB member at all times. Guild policy."

"Huh? My interest in what, exactly?"

"What? Oh, you're not…. Well! Don't get the wrong idea. It's just a common thing that happens. I didn't ask for it. It was probably this outlandish getup that had a lot to do with it, you know?"

Ah. _That_ kind of interest. Well, I had to disagree on one point: that ostentatious outfit—like something from a knight on the Crusades—certainly didn't hurt, but that girl would've looked good in _anything_.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to give the wrong impression. I wanted to ask you about an open tryout run."

"Why? You're looking for a guild?"

"Ah, well, not exactly…."

Asuna frowned at that.

"I see. Well, come on then. You can explain to me over lunch. We've been raiding for the better part of three hours, so I'm not going back on an empty stomach."

We headed for the scholars' dining hall, in the basement level of the library. It wasn't a place to buy food—so not like a cafeteria or anything like that—but there were plenty of tables for the raid group to share. Even there, shelves with scrolls lined the walls. I guess the library couldn't do without a square centimeter of wall space for anything else but storage.

Asuna and I took a circular table in a corner of the room. Even there, the decor was striking: the chairs were made of straw and backless, so they offered no support. The table didn't stand on legs. Rather, it had just a central column that was curved inward, sort of like an hourglass, and with a wide base. It looked flimsy, but the base of was surprisingly heavy, and it kept the table from tilting even a single degree.

"So, it's all right if I eat?"

Asuna materialized a sandwich from her inventory. Just what was that sweet smell coming from her food? Something like strawberry jam? Not possible. They didn't have recipes to make jam in this game!

"What, do you want some?"

No, no, I couldn't. I'd already eaten, and it'd be rude to ask for some of her food. That said, it wasn't like you could get fat in SAO. Why did she have to torment me with such an exotic meal right in front of my nose?

"No, that's all right. It's yours, isn't it?"

I turned aside. Better not to see that sandwich than be tempted by it. Just the sounds of Asuna's bites were torture enough as it was.

"So, who's this tryout for? If not yourself, then someone you know?"

"Ah, it's just…a guildmate of mine, you could say."

"Really? I've never met anyone from your guild before, except for you."

"I'm not surprised. She'd have said something if she'd met you."

Asuna raised an eyebrow at that, and I couldn't blame her. That was a bad slip on my part, but to my relief, two other people approached the table, interrupting our conversation.

"Are we intruding? I hoped we could discuss some aspects of the boss fight before returning to the Labyrinth."

Asuna looked to me first and winced.

"Sorry, is this okay?"

"It's fine. I'm the one taking time out of your work."

"Good, sorry again. Kirito-kun, I think you know Pascal, from Fūrinkazan?"

Pascal, a woman in her late twenties, was Klein's second-in-command. I'd seen her around a bit before, but we were only just acquainted, nothing more. She was fit and dressed modestly, and with her long black hair tied back, you could mistake her for a man from a distance. That probably helped her go unnoticed among the rest of Klein's guild. They all knew she was a woman, but an outside observer could miss it.

Pascal was a cordial and professional guild officer, and she gave me a warm, respectful nod.

"Klein will be happy to hear we ran into each other. It's my pleasure, Kirito. It's good to have amiable company in this game."

That was accompanied by a sidelong glance to the man beside her—a thin, younger man in full plate armor. Asuna began to introduce him.

"This is Lind, leader of DDA."

Lind was a man with dark eyes and a tuft of brown hair that stuck up from his forehead. Next to Pascal, he seemed like a dwarf, but he was actually about as tall as me.

"Lind, this is Kirito. He used to be a solo player, but now he's part of Black Cats of the Full Moon."

Lind sneered instantly, with the same amount of effort it takes a normal human being to breathe.

"Oh really? I've never heard of that guild. What's a real raider doing in a no-name guild like that?"

I think you can guess Lind's attitude toward me. Having insulted his best tank might've had something to do with it, so I expected a barb and responded in kind.

"I would rather a no-name guild that conducts itself honorably to a big one that puts others at risk for its members' benefit."

"Suit yourself. If you want to surround yourself with noobs and wannabes, with scrubs who can't down a low-level dungeon boss without getting themselves killed, go right ahead."

That was beyond low. He could insult me all he wanted, but to insult the rest of the guild? People he didn't even know? People who died far more nobly than Lind had ever conducted himself?

I moved my right hand out from under the table—

And Asuna grabbed it, keeping my wrist and hand out of sight.

"Behave yourselves, gentlemen. We're here to conduct the business of raiding, not to hold a battle of wits. That is why you two have come to me, right, Pascal? Lind?"

Count yourself lucky, Lind. If not for Asuna, we would've fought right then and there.

Pascal followed Asuna's lead, and she cleared her throat, trying to get back down to business. She took a seat across from Asuna and me while Lind split the difference, leaving a chair's space on either side to separate himself from everyone else. Once everyone was comfortable, Pascal began.

"Again, I'm sorry to intrude. I just wanted to express some concern about how high we're getting the boss's stacks to."

At that, Asuna stiffened a bit.

"How high were they?"

"Fifteen. At that point, it was taking +300% damage and swinging for +650%."

"Swinging for +650%, so 750% total?"

"Sorry, 750% total."

That was a crucial distinction. If the bonus to the boss's attack damage was 650%, then the true damage was 7.5 times normal. An error in calculation could've been the difference between life and death.

That's not to say I had any idea what exactly these people were talking about. Asuna seemed to notice my confusion, though, and she took me aside to whisper in my ear.

"Sand golem boss. Takes almost no damage while sand, but if you move it into a beam of hot sunlight, it starts to melt into glass. Each second in the beam stacks the buff. It hits harder, but it takes more damage."

Aha. This was a classic encounter mechanic. I tried to sum up what was going on then:

"So the question is, how high can you safely ramp up the stacks, and how many tanks are you going to need in rotation to deal with that damage?"

Asuna nodded, but before I could gather my thoughts on the matter, Lind spoke up.

"I think any further testing of the stacks is a waste. Forwards are precious commodities. There's no reason to put a large number of them at risk with an aggressive switch strategy. Keep the boss's stacks low—no greater than five—and stack the rest of the raid with DPS."

Pascal frowned, and she watched Lind through narrowed eyes.

"So you want to test the enrage timer?"

A boss left alive for too long could _enrage_, gaining a dangerous increase in damage or attack speed (or often, both). Hecate, the boss on Floor 34, had a "soft" enrage mechanic, in that her difficulty increased progressively throughout the fight. Confusingly, the slight damage buff that Hecate gained at the end of her fight could also be called an enrage, but that wasn't instantly deadly or dangerous, so it hardly bears mentioning.

Otherwise, when Pascal said _enrage_, she meant a "hard" enrage mechanic, which could instantly and lethally punish the raid for taking too long.

It was rare to see a hard enrage in SAO. Most of the raids had rather aggressive strategies that, if they went sour, would be aborted in favor of a reset. No one wanted to trigger a hard enrage; that could mean dozens of people dying in the blink of an eye, without even the chance to teleport out.

But, the people who did have to worry about it were the scout team. Sometimes, they would intentionally prolong a boss fight by not sending anyone in other than tanks. Then, they would see just how long the boss could be safely fought, and the real raid to kill the boss would know just how long they had before they were in unsafe territory.

"I disagree."

That was Asuna.

"I think the fight is intended to start with the boss brought to a medium number of stacks—say seven or eight. Then, when the stacks are about to fall off, the tank he's engaged with should drag him into the sun beam to quickly add a single stack and refresh the buff."

Pascal nodded and ran with the idea.

"The question, then, would be what is the maximum number of stacks we can safely deal with by the end of the fight."

That question had no easy answer. Without a full complement of DPS—which the scout team didn't have—they couldn't know for sure. Pascal, perhaps fitting her namesake, started to do the math.

"Let's see…. Assume 1500 DPS per person, times 48 raiders, with an average damage multiplier of 2.6, so about…200,000 DPS raidwide, right?"

Asuna, Lind, and I all looked at each other blankly.

"The boss ought to have somewhere between 80 and 100 million HP, so somewhere around 7 to 10 minutes?"

Lind rolled his eyes.

"I don't think we should be trusting our lives to goddamn theorycraft here."

"It's just an estimate. It's something we can test, cautiously."

"It requires putting our tanks at unnecessary risk. Some of the tanks here are my guildies, you know!"

Asuna's eyes flashed at that.

"Some of them are mine, too. We may not have had a choice to stay in this game, but we've volunteered ourselves for the good of everyone who's left. We know the risks. Your people know them, too. People can't be sheltered or coddled from that reality. There's no point in doing so. We should act like we want to _win_, not like we're afraid to play."

Lind snarled at that. He peered around Asuna to catch my eye.

"What about you, beater boy? We know you like to take risks with people's lives."

"Only when cowards endanger all of us by acting in their own self-interest rather than the good of the raid."

"Why you—"

"I like Asuna's strat, but as a possible fallback, I would consider letting the boss's stacks fall off if the tank rotation can't be maintained. A period of low damage on the tanks would buy time for crystal CDs to finish. This seems to me like a fight than be tuned dynamically, based on the damage the tanks can take."

Pascal nodded.

"We can start with a few fixed numbers of tanks—anywhere from six to twelve—and see what damage level is comfortable. Keep a couple of extra tanks out of the rotation to use as safety nets in case those in the switch rotation have no more CDs left."

Asuna dabbed at her lips with a napkin and looked upon Lind and Pascal with cool, steady eyes.

"That sounds like a good place to start when we get back to it, then."

Lind scoffed.

"I couldn't disagree more."

"I know you do, but this is my decision, and the decision is made."

That stiff pronouncement silenced the rest of the table, and Asuna proceeded, only with a touch more diplomacy.

"We can discuss more of the details on the way back. We should also think about how many more tanks we might need to test this idea, or to implement it in the full raid."

Lind, despite gritting his teeth in frustration, offered a little something to save face.

"DDA has no problem providing backup tanks in case of emergency. Anything for the good of the raid."

Pascal shook her head.

"Roles should be assigned fairly and equally. Equal risk for equal reward. Klein insists on it."

"Fine, fine, we'll see what happens when we get to lottery. But if KoB holds back their best players, it's not exactly equal risk, is it? When's the last time Heathcliff tanked for a progression raid, anyway?"

Asuna didn't even bother looking at Lind.

"The GM does a lot of organizing and outreach to casual players. He levels on his own time, and he doesn't ask for col from raids he doesn't attend, unlike some people."

Lind turned away to stare down the length of the room, grimacing. Asuna ignored him.

"Now if you'll excuse me, Kirito-kun and I have some unfinished business to discuss. If there's anything else, we can sort it out on the way back, yes?"

Pascal nodded and rose, but Lind was more leisurely about it, and he made an exaggerated bow—full of contempt and animosity—as he left. At once, Asuna's icy demeanor melted, and she slumped back in her chair with a sigh.

"Sorry again. I didn't mean to involve you in that. Lind had no right to challenge you about any of that stuff."

"No, it's fine. It was fun to be a part of the planning, at least a little bit."

Asuna smiled, relieved, but still, there was something a bit off about her expression. I knew Pascal was an avid theorycrafter and that Lind was pretty hard-headed and combative, but Asuna surprised me. Her words were reasonable, but her behavior was contradictory somehow. There was the warm girl in front of me, apologetic and forthright, who'd happily offered me part of her sandwich in kindness. Then, there was the cool and determined guild officer, who traded barbs with Lind and made decisions about who to put in danger and who to spare without batting an eye.

But then, Asuna was always about finding the best and fastest way out of this world. She was the girl who fought to exhaustion on Floor 1, and why? Because she felt sleeping would be an act of surrender to the game. I'm sure it was that sternness and determination that propelled her to number two in KoB. Still, it was surprising to see how her position had helped her shape that determination into results. And there were no doubts about the results. KoB was a successful guild on the rise. Asuna had helped make it that way.

To be honest, I was a little more uncomfortable asking her for a favor, having seen once again how cool and serious she could be.

"Well? What was it you were saying about a tryout run?"

On the other hand, it definitely would've been rude to decline her help now. There was no getting out of asking, at least.

"Ah, right. Like I said, it's for my guildmate. She's been trying to convert from spears to shield-and-sword tanking."

"That's difficult, isn't it? It's a totally different mentality."

"A bit, yeah. I've spent the last month or so training her. I think she's a lot better than she used to be, but I could be wrong. She could use a real run with a full six-man party. If that goes okay, then _maybe_ we can talk about having her join raids? I don't know. I don't want to get too far ahead of myself."

Asuna folded her arms and smiled slyly.

"You don't ask for cheap favors, do you? This guildmate of yours must be a good friend."

"She is."

"So, what happened?"

I gaped at her, and just a slight sound came out of my mouth.

"Ah…."

"You nearly stabbed Lind in the chest when he made that remark about your guild. That's pretty rare. You're not the type to flip out over something that isn't serious. There's a reason no one's ever seen another member of Black Cats, isn't there?"

There was some commotion at the other end of the room. Other members of the progression group, part of Asuna's scout team, were filing into the dining hall. I turned away from them, hiding my face.

"I don't want to talk about it."

I said that in the quietest, most solemn voice I could muster. It was all I could manage without breaking up.

"You don't have to do this for us. Maybe now's not the right time. We've only been on this floor a couple days—"

"No, no. That was rude of me to ask. It's fine. KoB was looking to do a tryout run soon. I'll round up some applicants. Let's say…the day after tomorrow?"

"So soon?"

"Why? You had something later in mind?"

My eyes widened, and I shook my head.

"Okay, good. I'll send you a message with more details, all right?"

I nodded absently, and before I knew it, Asuna was already rallying the raiders at the door.

"All right, everyone! Break's almost over! Let's lick this boss strat today, yeah?"

So confident and sure she was. If nothing else, she was absolutely certain in what she did. She gave me the benefit of that favor without a second thought. Thanks to that, Sachi was getting a tryout. Sachi would be happy about that.

Sachi would be quite, quite happy about that.

#

Asuna chose a side dungeon on Floor 31 for the tryout—something a few floors below us, so it would be just a basic check of party execution. Nothing that would be too stressful. Nothing that was worth worrying about.

The run was scheduled for ten o'clock, but I woke up at seven. I jogged to the market and bought some supplies: two stacks of Healing Crystals, four stacks of Healing Potions, a stack of Teleport Crystals from an NPC vendor, and a smattering of antidotes and other necessities. I stopped by a blacksmith to restore a few points of durability to my boots, and on the way back home, I studied a map of Floor 31, from the teleport gate to the dungeon entrance. The route was only halfway by road, so we'd have to cut our way through some rainforest to get to the right place. I figured the best thing to do was to go by road as long as we could, to the point closest to the dungeon entrance. That would minimize the time spent in unknown terrain.

When I returned home, I found Sachi in the atrium, sitting beside the pool for rainwater to collect in. The morning run cast a narrow strip of light along the wall, over Sachi's head, as it poured in through the square opening in the roof.

"How was the market?"

I shrugged.

"A little thin. I couldn't get any Exceptional Healing Potions. We'll have to make do with quantity over quality."

She cracked a slight smile at that.

"All the raiders snatch those up like candy anyway. For Floor 31, Strong potions should be fine, right?"

"They'll have to be."

"You don't think it'll be okay?"

"We don't have any choice. We have to go with what we have."

Sachi took her eyes off the water, looking at me from the corner of her eye.

"If you think it's a problem, we can call it off. That's really okay with me."

I coughed.

"Why would I think that? It's a few HP per second difference. It's nothing. It'd be unreasonable to be concerned about that here. I don't want to be unreasonable. I don't want to hold us up over something that's really nothing."

"It's okay to be concerned."

"Is it?"

At that, Sachi rose from her seat, and she faced me down with a serious, penetrating stare.

"Kirito, do you think I'm ready for this?"

I let out a breath, my lips turning to a bewildered smile.

"I said I thought so, didn't I? Why are you asking me about this?"

"Because I woke up, and you were already gone. Because I said I would buy some potions, but you've already taken care of everything. You've been _different_ ever since this came up, ever since you went to talk to that friend of yours in KoB. Kirito, I don't want you humoring me."

I shuddered, and I cast my eyes to the dark pool of water on the floor.

"I'm not humoring you…"

"Then am I ready?"

"I don't know!"

I shut my eyes, putting the base of my palm to my forehead, and I breathed in and out. The rhythm steadied me like a metronome, even as words spilled out of me like notes from a sputtering horn.

"I don't know, I—I _think_ you're ready, Sachi, but I've thought something like that before. So I don't know. That's the best I can tell you. I don't know. So we need to do this, right? We need to do this because I can't be the judge of that anymore. That's for the best."

Silence. A drop of water fell from the roof, into the pool beside us, but the drop rippled to the sides of the pool, bounced off, and died away.

"Kirito, can you look at me?"

I closed my fist, and I blinked a couple times. Sachi smiled warmly. The strip of sunlight ran across her cheek and hair, and it reflected off her, giving her a faint glow.

"It's okay to worry, you know."

I nodded.

"Yeah, I know."

Her gaze hardened.

"But you need to believe it. You need to believe it for yourself."

I bowed my head, pursing my lips.

"Yeah, you're right about that. It's something I can try to do."

I motioned to her with my hand.

"Come here."

She trotted toward me, and I took her into my arms.

"This is your day, and it's a big one. Let's do our best, okay? Sorry for stressing you out about all this."

She shook her head, even as she was snuggled against me.

"You helped me face monsters and learn to beat them back. It's only fair I help you in return. That's what partners do, right?"

Partners?

While I pondered the meaning of that word, Sachi wiggled out of my arms, and she kissed me.

I stared at her, eyes open, and after a second of shock, I pushed on her shoulder lightly.

"Sachi, no, I—I can't."

She laughed.

"What do you mean? It's easy. See, we can do it again right now, if you like."

"I mean I can't feel that way, right now."

"Ah."

She bowed her head, blushing.

"Sorry. I know that was a little sudden. You've been so helpful to me, expecting nothing for yourself, and I just felt really strongly for a second. The truth is, I've felt that way for a while."

I nodded, but I left my hand on her shoulder, keeping her at a distance.

"Sachi, I care about you very much. I want to be here for you to the end, but I doubt we know each other well enough to be in a relationship. We've only known each other for what, four months?"

She laughed, albeit a bit sadly.

"You're definitely not the type to pick a girl up off the street and try to take her home with you, huh?"

She looked away, composing herself, and I let her go. She took a deep breath, and she smiled, meeting my gaze.

"I guess everything here still seems a little surreal, doesn't it? Perhaps it's for the best. I just felt like we've been in suspended animation for a while, in shock over everything that's happened. It feels like a long time, but I guess that's not true, is it?"

That was the danger of such a thing. You can spend ten years with people and not really know them. You might not even know yourself after that. And I'd only known Sachi for a few months. Anything we shared would be even more tenuous and suspect than that.

I materialized a couple Healing Potions from my inventory and offered them to her.

"Are you going to be okay?"

She took the potions in hand, her fingers making brief contact, and she tucked the potions into her belt.

"Yeah! Yeah. Let's go have a good run, all right?"

#

Nine-thirty. Half an hour before the run.

Sachi and I teleported to the tropical settlement of Sao Pedro. We journed through a dense jungle, with giant caterpillars, earth-shaking worms, panthers, and cobras. We stayed on the path as long as we could, and we ran into few mobs.

But it was just our luck, though, that someone was already camping out at the dungeon entrance.

"Get back here, you frightened little cat! Lisbeth's gonna turn your teeth into a dagger! You hear me?"

The blacksmith Lisbeth—an aggressive character if I'd ever known one.

"Well, if it isn't about time you guys showed up!"

Lisbeth waved her hammer down one of the paths into the jungle, as though to taunt a fleeing Panther.

"I was getting bored killing cats to pass the time. How are you, Sachi?"

Sachi bowed.

"I'm okay. How have you been, Liz? Is business good?"

"Business booms! But it would be better if I could get my hands on some Panther Teeth."

She shrugged at that.

"But who cares about money? It's not the same anymore, not seeing you at lunchtime every day."

She peered around Sachi at me.

"And you, Kirito? How are you? Treating Sachi well, I expect?"

I winced at that, and Sachi started waving her hands.

"Liz, please!"

"All right, all right; topic off limits, huh? I understand."

Nevertheless, she bowed.

"I'm glad we can team up for this run, at least."

Sachi and I gawked, and I said,

"You're coming with us? How's that?"

"You don't know? Asuna's one of my best customers. Can't let the diamond in this dungeon go to waste! I've tried to run it myself a couple times, but it's a real pain."

"Yourself?"

That was Sachi, aghast.

"You can't do that, Liz! That's dangerous for you! You should get someone like me and Kirito to help you out!"

Lisbeth chuckled apologetically, holding both hands out to keep the wrath of Sachi at bay.

"You're right; you're right. It's a little reckless on my part, but what can I say? Greed gets the better of me sometimes."

"Still! If a friend is in trouble, I want to know about it."

Sachi looked aside.

"I should be there. No matter what."

Liz and I exchanged a glance, but those words dissipated on the warm wind from the west, and we said nothing more.

The minutes passed to ten o'clock, when three more people emerged from the jungle—Asuna and two KoB tryouts named Castor and Pollux. Armed with scimitars, they treated Asuna like a drill sergeant, standing at attention when she called on them. That drew quite the flustered reaction from her:

"Relax! Honestly, we're not the Army."

And all throughout, Lisbeth was practically walking on air with anticipation. I'm pretty sure it was the new pink hair she was sporting; the hair dye must've come with a bonus to enthusiasm and energy.

As the six of us filed through the entrance, Lisbeth's jubilant dance brought her to the fore of the group, with Sachi. The two of them couldn't have been more different. Sachi was a quiet and contemplative person. Lisbeth, on the other hand, said whatever was on her mind at the time, and she was quick to pounce on even a hint of insult toward her work. Still, they had worked as neighbors for the better part of two months in Londinium. They were an odd pair of friends.

"It's quite nice of Asuna-san to let you take the diamond when we finish. Did she ask you along so you could make a sword for her?"

"For her? Not a chance! Honestly, you'd think a girl would be the first to clue her best friend in when there's a run to acquire some rare crafting mats, but that's just not so these days. There I am, tending my stand in Londinium, when I see Asuna blaze past like I'm a piece of dead codfish."

Asuna winced at that.

"Last I saw, you were crafting off a Vendor's Carpet on the side of the road. I didn't know you had a stand in Londinium!"

"Anybody who's anybody has a shop in Londinium! Honestly. If I hadn't asked what you were doing, I never would've heard about this, would I?"

"Can I buy you some clothes to make up for it? Please, Liz?"

"I could be persuaded to accept a donation."

Lisbeth picked at her smithing gloves and her brown, leathery apron.

"Maybe something a little more colorful. Something _red_."

I eyed the bubblegum pink strands on her head.

"Don't you already have that part of the spectrum covered?"

"Pink isn't red. I see why you only wear black, Kirito. No sense of fashion."

I could see how this argument would go. I'd say my armor was functional. She'd say she wore the gloves and apron for skill bonuses, and she'd be right: plus-50 to smithing skills was nothing to sneeze at. There was only one style of smithing armor at our level, whereas I had no excuse for my preference for black.

Never get into an argument with Lisbeth. She is too cunning and devious to outwit, and she turned her investigative prowess on the girl in the lead.

"So, Asuna, how did that investigation go?"

Asuna stopped dead in her tracks, like she'd been caught stealing gum from a convenience store.

"It—well, it went fine! Just fine. It's an officer's responsibility to look into the players who try out for your guild. That's understandable, isn't it?"

The two KoB initiates looked at each other and gulped nervously. I tried to put them at ease.

"It's just due diligence for a guild that aspires to lead the effort for progression. I'm sure that's routine. If you're here with Asuna, you're going to get a fair chance to prove yourselves to KoB, and you won't be judged solely based on reputation or rumors. That's how KoB operates, isn't it, Asuna?"

She nodded.

"It is. It means a lot that you see it our way."

I hadn't realized it was a matter of opinion. In other games, the best guilds always looked into the backgrounds of their recruits. They'd look at statistics from raids. They'd have people fill out questionnaires and interview them at length. It was a natural and expected part of the process. Asuna may have been new to MMOs at one time, but she'd become a full-fledged officer of KoB. She knew what was expected of her, and of KoB's recruits.

And I had every reason to believe she had expectations of Sachi, too. After all, I'd recommended Sachi to her. She would put Sachi to the test just as much as her guild recruits.

Or at least, that's what I thought she would do. This dungeon we'd entered—the Den of the Nightmare Diamond—wasn't exactly at the bleeding edge of content. It was a good seven floors below the front lines. That wasn't to say it was a dull dungeon. It wasn't. The Den hosted a semi-random series of bosses, all fighting to reclaim the fabled Nightmare Diamond. The first boss was always a previous owner of the diamond. While we pulled trash—useless other monsters meant to slow us down on the way to the boss—several of these cursed individuals would brawl with one another on a raised platform, out of our range to safely jump to. Once we cleared all the trash mobs, the winner would descend and engage us.

This time, it was a sailor—a ship captain who had lost the diamond at sea. Though SAO lacked player magic, NPCs could wield some on their own. From the stone and earthen walls of a jungle temple, the cursed captain summoned an illusion of the open sea. We swam through shark-infested waters while the captain's crew shelled us with cannonballs from his battleship.

I want to say that a daring attempt to board the vessel and slay the captain is what saved us and broke the illusion, but I could hardly call it _daring_. The sharks keeled over at one hit from my sword, and Sachi's new shield—covered in worm teeth—reflected so much damage from the captain's saber that he practically killed himself.

When the illusion ended and we were put back in the dungeon, I took Asuna aside, at the back of the group, while Sachi led us to the second boss.

"What are we doing here? This content is trivial for us. How is this a test of Sachi's skill?"

"Not everyone overlevels everything, you know. Castor and Pollux are gaining some good XP from this. And with the two of us here, I wanted a non-threatening environment to watch them execute the basics. If they can't do that even in relative safety, what are they going to do when things get tough?"

"So you put them in a deliberately easy situation."

"Just in case they react badly to something. I'd rather know that here, when you and I could two-man this place, than in a situation with real danger."

"Does that apply to Sachi, too?"

"…it does."

"So, when do you plan to step it up? Another tryout?"

"No, I won't wait that long."

"Then when?"

"At the next boss."

The second boss was really an event encounter: half the group would enter a separate "shadow phase," in which they fought a trio of Necromancers who had once owned the diamond and killed each other for it. The other half would stay in the normal phase, inside the jungle temple, and fight the Necromancers' sekeletal minions.

"Castor, Pollux, can you two go with Kirito-kun into the shadow phase?"

That was strange. The shadow phase required more control and precision of movement, for the Necromancers had to be kept away from one another. This job was right up Sachi's alley as a tanking forward; the initiates and I would probably struggle to keep the Necromancers properly positioned. I pointed this out to Asuna:

"Sachi would be a big help keeping the Necromancers separated. Are you sure you don't want to arrange things differently?"

"No, I'd like to prolong things a bit and put up a test for Sachi-san in a pressure situation. You're both all right with that, aren't you?"

Sachi and I exchanged a glance. She gave a hesitant nod, so I followed suit.

After all, I trusted Asuna to give Sachi a fair test.

With all of us in agreement, Asuna dragged the tip of her rapier along a crease in the stone floor, marking off a safe distance.

"Everybody in my group, stay back. Kirito-kun, start it when ready."

The trigger for the event was a purple urn, seated on a pedestal in the center of the room. The two KoB initiates crowded around the pedestal, and I took the urn in both hands. I raised it overhead and smashed it on the pedestal's top, releasing the angry spirits within.

"So, more foolish souls come in search of the Diamond?"

The ghostly, haunting voice echoed around us, coming from all directions.

"You come only to your end. The Diamond would bring you misery and death. What a waste that would be. Your souls cannot serve us if they are cast aside that way!"

For the three of us, the room turned purple and black, shimmering with a gray haze. The three Necromancers would assault us with dark magic and withering curses, and if they weren't kept separated, they would gain stacking health and damage buffs each time one of their comrades died, based on how much health they themselves had lost. Since they healed to full each time one of the others died, you could end up giving yourself a lot more work if you didn't keep them separated—no easy task when none of you had any threat generation skills.

I could go into more detail about the shadow phase, but what happened there wasn't of any consequence. Let me tell you what happened with Sachi. Lisbeth was kind enough to give me the gist of things. I'll fill in the rest as best I can:

Once Castor, Pollux, and I disappeared, the three girls faced an army of Skeletal Reavers: big, eyeless, disjointed collections of bones with cleavers. Though stripped of any flesh to speak of, their very presence corrupted the ground they walked on, causing bony hands to reach out and claw at nearby players, but Asuna wasn't intimidated.

"Hold what you can, Sachi-san. Liz and I will take care of the rest!"

"Okay!"

The girls followed a straightforward strategy: Sachi stayed in the center of the room, having cast the pedestal aside, and held as many Skeletons as she could. Asuna and Lisbeth tag-teamed the others, working in a circle around Sachi. They kept moving to stay clear of the graping hands from the floor, and they switched often to strike safely within the Skeletons' attack timers. Asuna's rapier was a clumsy weapon for these mobs—you could thrust with a rapier and hit nothing but the air between a Skeleton's bones—but Asuna's high damage and good accuracy dispatched of Skeletons easily.

"How are you holding up there, Sachi-san?"

Sachi was having a little more trouble. Surrounded by Skeletons, Sachi could only limit the damage she was taking from the front, and the grasping claws of the dead tugged and pulled at her ankles, tripping her up each time she tried to reposition or charge through the group.

"It's…okay, I think? How much longer do you think it'll take the others?"

That could only be judged by the summoner's rune on the floor. It was a pentagram with two halves—one glowing orange, the other green. The halves filled up as the two groups completed their sides, and it was ideal to finish both sides at roughly the same time: doing otherwise would heal all remaining mobs to full and increase their health and damage greatly.

Sachi's group in the real world had their progress indicated on the orange half, which steadily filled as they killed Skeletons. My side was indicated in green, but it only filled in large chunks—one for each of the three Necromancers. To make matters worse, the Skeletons and Necromancers would respawn occassionally, sometimes erasing the progress we'd made.

Still, Asuna told Sachi the only thing she could:

"Don't worry about them. Watch out for new spawns and watch yourself."

"But, isn't it weird for Kirito to have problems with this? He has so much more damage than anything in this place!"

That was actually part of the problem: the initiates and I had managed to kill two Necromancers, only for one of them to respawn before we could kill the third. Our progress was bouncing back and forth between 1/3 and 2/3 completion, and Castor and Pollux were having some trouble keeping the other Necromancers away from me and my damage, so they would gain ever more health and damage each time one of the others died.

"That guy's probably just running circles around them to goof off. Wouldn't be much of a test if he just snapped his fingers and it was over, right?"

Lisbeth's carefree response did nothing to assuage Sachi's fears, though. She kept her shield and sword up, striking occasionally to keep the Skeletons honest, but she started watching the summoner's rune instead of the mobs in front of her. Even the mobs she could block just batted her shield out of the way and chopped at her chest.

"Sachi-san! Hey!"

Asuna broke off to help Sachi then; she launched a Quadruple Pain combo around Sachi's back. A high thrust impaled two Skeletons' skulls; a low thrust blew out their knees. A left and a right thrust cleared out Sachi's sides, and four Skeletons disappeared in the red glow of Asuna's rapier.

"Sachi-san! Defend yourself! We're in trouble here!"

"But Kirito—Kirito's in trouble! This isn't right! It shouldn't be taking him so long! I can't even see his health on the party frame!"

That was true; anytime two players in a party were outside of each other's view, their health bars would be grayed out. You could tell the other was alive, but not much more.

"Hey, Asuna, maybe we should stop here?"

That was Lisbeth, who was struggling to fend off three more Skeletons. She swung her warhammer into the ground, stunning them briefly, and she yanked her ankles away from the grasping hands that came out of the floor.

"Sachi doesn't look too good. Let's give it a rest."

"If she can't handle this, she's no good for raiding. I can't imagine Kirito-kun would send her to me if she weren't ready."

Asuna struck the three Skeletons in front of Sachi with a Linear, driving them back for a moment. She took Sachi by the shoulder and crouched down, looking into Sachi's eyes.

"I know what's going through your head right now: a friend is in danger, and you can't help him directly. But sometimes that's how it is. You have to do what you can right here, right now. I believe you're strong enough to do that, aren't you?"

Sachi met Asuna's gaze with wide eyes and nodded, ever-so-slightly.

"Good. Let's finish this, then, shall we? Liz, come wrap these up with Sachi-san, all right? I'll take those off you."

The girls switched, and Lisbeth delivered a couple sweeping blows to clear Sachi's front. Sachi, her fist clenched and tight, stabbed one of the Skeletons to finish it off, but once the Skeleton died, she held her pose there, staring at the blade.

"I can't help him here. I can't help him…."

Liz shook Sachi's shoulder, but Sachi kept muttering to herself, frozen in place.

"Asuna, she's seizing up!"

"What?"

Asuna ducked under a cleaver swing and drove her rapier through a Skeleton's breastbone, killing it. As more Skeletons crept forward to fill the gap, Asuna snuck a quick glance at Sachi and Liz. She counted the rest of the Skeletons with her eyes and made her decision.

"Okay, bring me the rest of them; I'm going to end this!"

Lisbeth batted the last few Skeletons into Asuna's path, and in a flash, Asuna splintered the Skeletons' bones over five lightning-fast thrusts, the powerful Neutron combo for rapiers. Five thundering blows echoed through the chamber, and then it was quiet.

You see, with the normal phase cleared, there was a pause in the fight as all remaining mobs were brought to the jungle temple. In this case, it was a single Necromancer, but thanks to the sacrifice of others, he was given a 300% damage and health buff, on top of his regular stats.

"The souls of the fallen sustain me! Come, now, and join with them!"

As the three of us—Castor, Pollux, and I—returned to the temple, the Necromancer lobbed a bolt of shadow energy at Pollux, lopping off a third of his health, but my attention was elsewhere. I ran to Sachi, trying to shake her out of her stupor.

"Sachi! Sachi, what happened?"

"She started worrying about what was taking so long, and then she ended up like this!"

Lisbeth stood with her back to us, using her body to protect Sachi, and Sachi needed that. She just stood there, rooted and immobile like a statue.

"I can't do anything; I can't…."

Even with the two of us tending to Sachi, there was still a boss fight to worry about. Asuna was spamming Neutron on the Necromancer, bringing down his health in dizzying chunks. This kaleidoscopic light show painted the moss-covered walls in a rainbow of light and colored shadows—always in the same order: red, orange, yellow, green, and blue—but the dazzle of Asuna's attacks wasn't enough to bring the Necromancer down right away. She took the brunt of the Necromancer's attacks, including a crippling health drain—a swirling purple beam that pulled at her gut visibly, not just taking her life but drawing her toward the Necromancer even when she tried to back off for spacing. The Necromancer had leeched almost half her life, but Asuna was still standing, and she blasted him with another Neutron as just punishment.

"Hurry up and die already, won't you?"

With that, she stopped waiting even for the short cooldown on Neutron. She just spammed Linear, over and over, her strikes so fast you could only see the rapier as a streak of white light. And with Castor and Pollux wailing on the Necromancer, too, it was just a matter of time before one of those streaks took the Necromancer with it.

"No! The Diamond—the Diamond will curse you! Curse you!"

The Necromancer shattered, and Asuna fell to a knee, winded and panting, yet for all that Asuna had done to end the fight, it wasn't enough to bring Sachi back.

"I can't be there. I can't; I can't…."

I tried to hold her, but she was as stiff as a board, staring into an insignificant corner of the room. Though torches cast the room in a warm, if flickering, light, none of that light reached Sachi.

There was no reaching her at all.

* * *

_Auld Lang Syne_ updates every two weeks, so look forward to the next chapter on Saturday, September 6, 2014, at 1 PM EDT (10 AM PDT), after the official stream of SAO II Episode 10.

Next time: "Alkuds." After Sachi's breakdown, Kirito confronts the harsh reality that Sachi needs help, and Heathcliff offers a solution Kirito doesn't want to hear.

For notes and commentary on this chapter and others, check out the _Auld Lang Syne_ thread on Sufficient Velocity, linked from my user profile.


	3. Alkuds

**Alkuds**  
_Aincrad Floor 26 - September 19, 2023_

The tryout run was over. Asuna sent the KoB initiates home, and the three of us—Asuna, Lisbeth, and I—took Sachi back to Londinium. That in itself was a little adventure: we couldn't coax her into activating her Teleport Crystal, so Asuna took the drastic step of burning a Corridor Crystal instead.

"The GM said to hold on to it for emergencies. If this doesn't count as an emergency, what does?"

That was a good show of generosity on Asuna's part—Corridor Crystals were exceedingly rare—but that did little to comfort me, or to help Sachi snap out of her dazed state. The Corridor Crystal took the four of us back to Londinium, but Sachi was catatonic, and we had no choice but to carry her.

It was on the way back home that I got the story from Asuna and Lisbeth. When I heard that Lisbeth suspected Sachi was having trouble, yet Asuna pushed her to keep going, I lost it.

"She was distracted and having trouble defending herself, and you asked her to keep fighting?"

Lisbeth was quick to come to Asuna's defense, peering around Asuna to get her point across.

"She seemed to respond to Asuna's peptalk. I didn't think she would have any problems; I really didn't!"

But Asuna was more guarded, and she looked ahead with a faraway gaze.

"I expected her to be stressed. I hoped all she needed was a little encouragement, but…."

She expected Sachi to be stressed? Yes, that's what she said. What did she mean by that?

"I did this on purpose, Kirito-kun. I separated her from you to make sure she wouldn't be distracted by the thought of a close friend in danger. I—"

"Wait, wait, back up a minute. You know about us. You know about our guild. How?"

Asuna averted her gaze, even as we walked down the street with Sachi in tow.

"I investigated Castor and Pollux. I investigated you and Sachi-san, too. After talking to Liz and others, I pieced together the truth: that you watched the rest of your guild die, Kirito-kun, and Sachi-san only survived because she started crafting in Londinium instead."

Her eyes came back to mine with a knowing look:

"You feel guilty, don't you? I saw it in your eyes, when you almost attacked Lind, but you get by. You function. I needed to see that Sachi-san could, too. People I talked to told me Sachi-san felt very guilty about not being there for the rest of your guild, and then she started trying to tank again, in just the last month or two? She kept it a secret from people, from even _you_? It didn't sound healthy to me. I wanted to test her feelings; I thought I needed to."

"So you tested her on that. You tested her until she broke!"

"I didn't think that would happen!"

"Liz thought Sachi was in trouble. You pushed her anyway, to test her. You put the test ahead of Sachi's wellbeing, Asuna. You put raiding ahead of Sachi's health!"

Asuna's eyes widened, and she looked to me, then to Sachi, and bit her lip.

"Come on, guys, this isn't a time to be throwing blame around."

That was Lisbeth.

"Let's get her to bed. If we have to yell at each other, we can do that once she's asleep, yeah?"

Lisbeth's cool head prevailed, and we proceeded in silence. Once we made it home, Liz and I put Sachi to bed. I had Asuna wait at the entryway, and we only met with her again once Sachi had calmed down enough to sleep.

"If I wouldn't be imposing, I want to apologize to Sachi-san, once you think she'll be well enough to hear it."

"I don't know when that would happen."

And that was true: I didn't know if it would be that day, or the next day, or the day after that, and I wasn't particularly eager to have that time come, to have Sachi face Asuna again.

"I understand."

With that, Asuna bowed, keeping her eyes low, and we said our goodbyes. Lisbeth was on her way out, too, but she offered to stay behind and help:

"Are you two going to be all right? Is there anything I can do? I feel responsible somehow. I didn't realize what Asuna was doing, but I should've."

None of us saw it coming. That wasn't Lisbeth's fault, and I told her so. As far as what she could do…

No, I couldn't ask anyone to take on this burden. I'd cared for Sachi ever since I'd gotten her friends killed. I needed to make this right.

But until Sachi woke up, there was nothing I could do but watch…and wait.

I stayed in the house all afternoon. Homes in SAO didn't need a lot of maintenance. There was no such thing as dust, and you couldn't track in dirt, either. Dishes didn't need cleaning, for discarded sauces or meats would just lose durability and disappear. Still, some things could end up amiss. The herb garden in the backyard was one of them. Herb farming (literally farming) required a certain amount of care. Herbs had to be harvested in a certain time window, or else weeds would creep in randomly. After Sachi had dropped Alchemy, I'd asked her if she wanted to do something else with the herb garden, but she'd said no.

"It's calming to plant something and watch it grow, don't you think? Even if it's not real, the plants look and feel real. You can smell them. That's what counts, right?"

It'd sounded reasonable when she'd said it, but the collection of dandelions in our herb garden told me something quite different. You don't have to care for dandelions; they just grow. While they're pretty when they flower, they had no useful properties in this game. Our herb garden was overrun with dandelions. Sachi must've given up on tending to it for weeks.

Maybe that was natural. She wasn't an alchemist anymore. I could've been making something out of nothing.

The truth is, I didn't really know what to think anymore.

I let Sachi sleep all afternoon and into the evening. I ate dinner alone and wondered if slight misalignments of the couch cushions told me anything about Sachi's state of mind. I made a bed in the dining room, hoping not to disturb her. It was the first time I'd tried to sleep by myself in months. I'd forgotten how cold the house could be, with its open holes in the roof and drafty construction. With Sachi, it had never felt cold. I was actually impressed that Kayaba had gone to such lengths to replicate human body heat.

And I missed that.

I got up. I was going to be cold by myself without a blanket. There were plenty of beds in the house, most of them never used. Four of them belonged to the rest of the guild, and I didn't dare intrude on them. They deserved a welcoming place to sleep in and call home, some place to call theirs and theirs alone.

But the fifth bedroom was Sachi's. She never used it either, but it was open.

If I'd been smarter, I would've put her in that bed. Then again, it would've been cruel to put her in unfamiliar surroundings. I rejected the idea of sleeping in her bed as well. It was _hers_, not mine. I was just going to borrow a blanket, that was all.

Sachi's favorite color was blue, and she chose the sheets and pillowcases in her bedroom to match. I thought it was a shame, really; we always slept in my room, with its black bedspread. I was partial to black, but I didn't think it suited Sachi.

I stole the blue sheet and comforter from her bedroom, promising to myself to put it all back in the morning, but on my way out, the wooden chest at the foot of the bed caught my eye.

You could buy small boxes and crates from vendors, but a chest like this one was player-made. A skilled Woodcutter needed only a few pieces of wood and metal to make one. The chest didn't actually open. Touching the lock mechanism would bring up a menu, and items stored "in" the chest would become accessible through the interface. The chest was just a physical stand-in for the extra storage space.

Unlike other games, there was no globally accessible bank system in SAO. Chests like these, stored in safe and trusted places, were the only way to keep belongings outside of main inventory. Most players I knew kept keepsakes in theirs: a first weapon, a unique quest item, or something else along those lines.

Whatever was in that chest would be important to Sachi. It would give me some insight into her state of mind, right?

Maybe it would've, but I didn't think I'd be able to face her having rifled through her stuff.

Not that I had any idea what else I _could_ do. What happened to this girl? What made her decide to start leveling again? Why did she put herself out there again, when she could be so terrified?

I didn't know the answers to those questions. I didn't know what was going on in her head. I was an outsider to her mind. She was walled off, and I couldn't see in.

I hoped I might find some of those answers in the morning, but they didn't come. I woke up in the dining room on one of those three impossibly low couches. I laid the sheets back on Sachi's bed, where they belonged, but Sachi still slept. She was breathing. She was warm and alive. I only realized how silly it was to check that way much later. If Sachi had died, she would've just vanished.

She was still with me. I had that much at least.

The next morning, I went into the bedroom and pulled up a chair to sit with Sachi for a while. She looked agitated and stressed. Her face was tense, and her eyes were shut tight.

All I wanted was for her to sleep easy. I knew better than to touch her face, but I held her hand, hoping it would give her a way back from dark dreams.

"Kirito?"

It worked, thank goodness. Sachi blinked, and she rubbed her eyes. I put on my best, most welcoming smile.

"Hey there. How do you feel?"

She sat up with a slump.

"Exhausted. Like I had to stay up all night working on a motherboard and only got to sleep just now."

"Yeah, I guess it was like that."

"What was?"

"You don't remember?"

Her eyes went as wide as headlights, and she shook her head. There was a vacuous, cloudy quality to her gaze, like her vision wasn't quite focused or sharp.

"Sachi, are you all right?"

She didn't respond right away. She just took a few shallow breaths until at last, she noticed something out of the corner of her eye.

"Oh, wow, it's a bit late, isn't it? Almost ten. Maybe—maybe we should eat something. Have you eaten yet?"

I shook my head.

"I'll go make something. You've probably done enough already since I've been sleeping in."

She bounded to her feet, unsteady and pensive, but she forced herself out of the room in a hurry.

I tried not to think too much of it, at the time. It didn't surprise me that Sachi was in denial about the whole thing; I wouldn't want to remember that, either.

But it did make our breakfast that morning awkward: Sachi talked about going leveling like nothing was wrong.

"I heard there's a pyramid way outside Iskandariya with a cool event we could do. Some kind of puzzle to activate an artifact superweapon before all of Aincrad is destroyed."

That was really the last thing on my mind, and it was all I could do to muster a hint of interest.

"That's weird."

"Isn't it? One of the guides said you have to be pretty creative to activate each of these four elemental stones, but it didn't say much more than that. It should give good XP, though. You want to try it today?"

"I think it's best if we stay home, honestly."

"Why? Taking a day off?"

Just how long could she go without even talking about it? I didn't know, and I was so much at a loss I started peeling the crust off my bread just to do _something_ while trying to come up with a response. The best I could do in the end was,

"Yeah, I guess. I'm kinda tired."

"Is that so?"

"Maybe we can just go somewhere in town later? Isn't there a tournament today? Or maybe we can stop by the market for a bit."

"I don't want to go to the market."

She stared at her plate, avoiding my eyes.

"Why not?"

"I just want to put that time behind me, I think."

"So it has nothing to do with avoiding Lisbeth?"

"What? Um, why would I want to avoid Liz?"

Because then the thing she was trying to ignore would come up, inevitably, and it would be impossible to deny it with both me and Liz asking.

Sachi wouldn't look at me after that. Was that the time to press her, when she was feeling nervous about it, or having doubts? Or would that just drive her to panic again?

I didn't know. She wouldn't be _better_ if she kept pretending it didn't happen (or worse, if she _believed_ it didn't happen), but if I pushed her the way Asuna had, she wouldn't be able to handle it, and I wouldn't be able to live with having done that to her.

Until she faced it, though, I was constantly on eggshells around her. Maybe that's why we spent the rest of the morning apart.

I spent some time in the courtyard, pretending to think about renovating the space. I got as far as thinking that a statue might work, if only it wouldn't block the bedroom windows, when there was a knock at the door. Very strange—we didn't usually expect visitors.

I definitely didn't expect Heathcliff.

"Ah, I—uh, well, word gets around, doesn't it?"

That was all I could sputter.

"I take matters involving my guild seriously. May I come in?"

I showed him inside. Heathcliff was a grown, mature man, somewhere between 30 and 40 I thought. He had the look of a confident, determined warrior. From nowhere, he'd swooped into the progression raiding scene and started a guild. He'd been building up a small base of aspiring raiders, he'd said. He wanted to avoid the mistakes that previous guilds had made. That's what had shattered ALS, after all. They'd rushed headlong into the Floor 25 boss fight, and they got people slaughtered.

Heathcliff carried himself with a calm but deliberate demeanor. Each step he took, each word he said, came with an aura of absolute certainty. I'd seen it in previous raid meetings, and I saw it as he strolled into my home. There wasn't a drop of fear in him. SAO didn't scare Heathcliff. He was in his element in it. He was at home in it. Perhaps that's what inspired a growing number of raiders to join KoB. Where others panicked and struggled, Heathcliff kept a steady hand to lead his followers through the murky unknowns of this game. His confidence was matched only by his in-depth knowledge of the game. He must've been a beta tester at some point. Some speculated he was even a former dev.

For the moment, though, he was a guest in my home, and I strove to treat him with the respect he was due. Usually, we entertained guests in the dining room, but Heathcliff took an interest in the central pool of the atrium. I didn't care for it due to the open exposure to the air, but Heathcliff wandered into the sunlight and smiled.

"It's quite a marvelous place. It feels like a piece the Roman Empire come alive, don't you think?"

The remark seemed bit out of place, given everything that had happened, and I told him so.

"I thought we were talking about your guild."

He sniffed at that.

"I see you're not one for small talk. Direct and to the point—that is the Kirito I've heard so much about. Very well. I heard from Asuna-kun what happened. May I ask how Sachi-san is? I would apologize to her in person if it's agreeable to you."

"She's awake, and seemingly no worse for wear, but she won't even admit that something happened. I'm not sure she would receive an apology well."

"I understand. Still, if there is a way I can apologize to her, on behalf of all of Knights of the Blood—well, I feel we owe her that much."

"I can ask if she would see you, but I can't promise anything."

"Of course. I'll wait here, then?"

That was fine. I left Heathcliff in the atrium and headed to the back of the house. Sachi was in her bedroom, managing her private chest. I showed myself inside and closed the door behind me. She didn't even bother to turn around, kneeling in front of the chest with her interface window open.

"What's this? I can't get you to close a door in this house unless it's raining."

A joke, something to disarm me. I wasn't falling for it.

"Sachi, someone's here to see you."

"Who?"

"KoB's guild leader, Heathcliff."

She froze, and then she shied away from me again, turning completely away.

"Why—why would he want to see me?"

"Can't you tell me that?"

"No, I—what are you saying?"

"He wants to apologize to you, Sachi, for what Asuna subjected you to."

"I don't know what—I don't—"

There was a faint _click_ as Sachi's finger hit the chest's interface menu. She let out an exasperated breath and shuddered—it was an accident, you see—and Sachi balled her hand into a fist, putting it at her side.

"There's nothing to apologize for, right? So I don't think I need to see him right now. Tell him I'm sorry. This is all just a misunderstanding. It's not real—it's not what he thinks, okay?"

Her whole body trembled as she said that, and I was surprised her voice didn't break. What I thought was just a little push had her on the edge of falling apart again.

So I pulled back. Better to leave her as she was—in denial, pretending all was well—than to break her down into pieces. That's how I justified it to myself. If I were wrong…

I didn't even want to think about that. I looked aside, too. To keep watching her as she trembled felt like a violation, like I would be peering into her soul.

"I'll tell Heathcliff you're busy. I hate it when someone interrupts me while I'm fixing my inventory, too. Heathcliff should understand that."

She nodded, saying nothing, and I left her there. I found Heathcliff again, still in the atrium, and I made my apologies.

"She's in no state to talk about any of that. I'm sorry. It'll have to wait until another time."

He nodded grimly, unsurprised.

"I understand. Well, I'd hoped to ask her about something, but perhaps you could relay it to her?"

"What about? Another tryout?"

"Perhaps later, in the future, but what I have in mind is something to help her now."

"What's that?"

"A support group. A guild, or something like it, by and for players who have experienced horrors in this game and need support dealing with them."

Another guild? Another group of people to meet, befriend, and disappoint? I couldn't speak for Sachi on the matter, but I made my attitude clear:

"That's kind of you, but I don't think that's necessary. Give her time. I'll take care of her. We're private people; we don't like to get involved in others' politics or drama."

"You're having her try out for raiding; that's fraught with drama."

"That's different."

"I don't think it is."

My eyes narrowed a bit, and we stared at each other for a moment. Heathcliff was the first to balk, though, clearing his throat instead.

"Forgive me. Matters like these are intensely private. I know that well. Faced with the same situation, I made the same choice once."

"What do you mean?"

"Have you heard of a player named Kendar?"

"He's a raider, right? I don't think I've seen him in a while."

Heathcliff nodded, pursing his lips, and he walked around the rectangular pool of water in the center of the atrium. The water was still, and Heathcliff studied his own reflection in it.

"That's right. He hasn't raided in some time. Kendar was a founding member of KoB, along with his friend Tirgen. The two of them went hunting for a rare mob on Floor 36—a two-headed ogre who summons strong familiars. The fight turned out to be more than the two of them could handle. The summoner relied on healing from his familiars and swarmed both of them in rabid dogs and birds of prey. When the two of them decided to burn their teleport crystals, Tirgen took a stun from a swooping bird and fumbled his. Out of healing crystals and fearing for his life, Kendar took the teleport and left Tirgen behind."

"That must've been hard on him."

"Indeed. Kendar was never proud of that. His fear overrode all honor or loyalty, but you and I both have the same fear, don't we? We are not so different from him, I think. I wish I had recognized that at the time. Instead, we were all concerned that his actions reflected poorly on the guild."

"I take it he got worse?"

"Yes. We were unhelpful to him because of that. We left him to his own devices, not realizing he was in danger. He endangered himself. One night, some concerned players found Kendar on Floor 36. He'd been wandering alone, without crystals or potions in his inventory. He'd been muttering about Tirgen and needing to find him before the summoner finished them off."

Heathcliff balled his hand into a fist, pumping it softly with a beat of realization before letting out a sigh.

"It was then I realized that Kendar needed help, and as guild leader, I felt it was my personal responsibility to see to that. I spoke with him every day. I tried to convince him that Tirgen was gone. I showed him the guild log with Tirgen's death in it, down to the minute it happened. It didn't matter. Kendar insisted it was a bug or a mistake. To this day, I'm not sure he truly believes that or simply didn't want to admit the truth in front of me."

"So, what could you do with him? If he kept talking that way…."

"Right, there was not much else we could do with him. Kendar is kept safe now, at KoB headquarters. We keep him in the basement of the church, and he's always under guard. If we don't do this, he will wander off, defenseless and confused. If you talk to him, he'll say Tirgen is alive and well, trying to find the summoner. There are times you can hear him down there. He plays a flute—Musical Instruments is his only non-combat skill—and it has this horrible, melancholic quality to it. I think it's a song for the dead."

That was a tough story to listen to, and were I in any other state of mind, I might've felt for Heathcliff. I might've empathized with him for the mistake he'd made. But he was leveraging it for a purpose: the purpose of persuading me. He wanted to say we were the same, but we were nothing alike. Heathcliff had made it his business to build up a guild from nothing. I could never do that.

"So, you made a mistake with Kendar. I'm sorry for that, but Sachi isn't Kendar, and I'm not you. Everyone she held dear in this game? They're gone. I got them killed, and she's still dealing with that. It's my _responsibility_ to help her—mine, and no one else's. Sachi doesn't need strangers trying to yank all that grief out of her like it's a virus from an infected hard drive."

Heathcliff shook his head with an exasperated growl.

"It may be your responsibility, but it doesn't have to be yours alone. Since Kendar, I've met many people who feel the same way you do—ashamed and embarrassed about the issues they or their friends face. Don't be deceived into thinking you must do this alone. You can play the game that way, and the system will take care of your HP, if you pace yourself, but a computer cannot understand the human mind. It can't heal those wounds. If you try to go it alone through this, the way you solo mobs or quests, you don't just risk failing her. You might fail yourself, too."

That Heathcliff—I have to say, it was a small comfort to see a well-known and well-respected man like him motivated so clearly by guilt. He was just as human as the rest of us, that way, but that's what made him blind. His failing of Kendar—or whatever else was behind his feelings—made him so sure.

And it made me sure he was wrong, for I knew what it meant to be motivated by guilt, too.

"We'll think about it. Thanks for coming."

That glib goodbye was all I could offer him, and it was effective. Heathcliff nodded, adding only one thing:

"If you change your mind, the group meets weekly at KoB headquarters on Floor 26. The next meeting is tomorrow, so if Sachi-san is well enough by then…."

I had to give him credit for knowing better than to finish that sentence.

"Good day, Kirito-kun."

He bowed before me—a bit deeper than I was comfortable, given the chilly tone of our parting remarks, but I guess that showed his sincerity toward Sachi. I returned the gesture, and Heathcliff went on his way. I shut the door thinking I might not even mention his offer to Sachi.

Imagine my surprise, then, when I turned around and caught a blue eye looking out from the kitchen doorway.

"Sachi—did you hear all of that?"

She stepped out timidly, shuffling like a child. Her face was wet and red, but she brushed a tear away idly, the way you might flick away a bothersome insect.

"Are you okay?"

On that stupid question, Sachi shook her head.

"I'm not okay, Kirito. I don't think I've been okay for a while."

I gestured to her to come closer, and she shot me a wan smile.

"You're not responsible for me, you know."

"What are you talking about? Of course—"

"I mean I don't _want_ you to feel that way. Be here for me because you're my friend. Be here because you enjoy being around me and don't want to see me suffer. Don't do it because you feel obligated. I don't—"

She shuddered, and as she took a couple breaths to collect herself, she dabbed at her eye again.

"I don't think I can take it if that's what you're going through."

"You think I don't want to be here?"

She chuckled, this time with a genuine smile of warmth and amusement.

"No, I don't think that. But I do know I can't pretend it all didn't happen; that just makes things worse for you. And I need to get better. I need to. I don't want to feel this way anymore. I don't want to be afraid that everything I care about in this world could disappear so easily."

"So, what do you think we should do, then?"

She took a breath, pursed her lips, and looked to the door, the same door Heathcliff had left through. Sachi had a lot of expressions—from playful, teasing smiles to desperate, sad stares—but the look on her face at that moment was something rarer than either of those. Her mouth was flat, and her eyes narrowed just a touch, just enough to convey the seriousness of the thoughts behind them.

"I think I want to meet this support group, so they can help me, so I can help myself."

And so I didn't have to.

It was a hopeful, ambitious goal, and despite my misgivings about getting involved with such a group, I didn't have the heart to deny Sachi. She was trying to make herself better, where I had just tried to keep things the same. Sachi had a lot of fear sometimes, but she always pushed to overcome it, even if it tortured her to do so. The girl I'd met beside the drainage channel was that way, only because she'd pushed against the wall of her fears with all her might, yet it hadn't budged.

And maybe, just maybe, some of that hope of hers rubbed off on me.

"Then let's go meet them."

#

The main settlement on Floor 26, Alkuds was a smaller village with five NPC factions, each controlling a quarter of the walled city. (Yes, that's five quarters. I'm not the one who called them that.) Each one housed temples and other places of worship. In the Star Quarter, there was a large wall at which NPCs would gather and pray, believing that their words would reach God better from that spot. In the Crescent Quarter, there was a raised temple with a golden dome. Surrounded by trees, it was one of the few areas of concentrated greenery in the village.

And in the Cross Quarter, in the Shrine of Calvary, was the home of Knights of the Blood.

The Shrine was an off-white or cream color, as most buildings were in the town. Two blue domes, one with a gold cross, distinguished its roof from others. It looked majestic, but the interior was a narrow and cramped place. The entrance hallway was only wide enough for one person at a time, and with Sachi and I coming in, it was a puzzle to get inside while busy KoB members were trying to leave.

There were a lot of them. That was apparent when we climbed the stair to Calvary itself, a holy place of some significance to the NPCs in town. Two NPCs were visiting just to pray by a holy rock, but they could hardly path back down without having to avoid half a dozen KoB members in the room. KoB was quickly outgrowing this housing. No doubt Heathcliff would be looking for new areas to use when the next couple floors were cleared.

"This guild housing puts ours to shame."

Sachi admired a piece of stained glass on the ceiling.

"It's just different. They're a bigger guild. Still, I don't think they expected to grow this quickly. I don't think we could've afforded this. Probably still can't."

"Yeah. You're right—they're all very buttoned-up and cool-looking. Look at those uniforms."

The red and white KoB colors were the same on each member. Heathcliff favored a bit more red than the others, but his shoulders featured white accents. A lot of the lower-level grunts wore metal armor with the KoB cross tabard, and to a man, they looked like clones of each other.

"Uniforms give people structure, right? It's a sense of belonging. It maintains order and conformity. They definitely look buttoned-up all right. I don't think I approve of the colors, though. Can you imagine what I'd look like in red and white?"

Sachi stared blankly.

"It'd be hideous, don't you think?"

"Oh! Yeah, you're right. Pretty strange."

There was a time she would've laughed at the thought. Now, all I could get out of her was faint surprise. It may have been Sachi's idea to go, but that didn't mean it was sitting easy with her.

That's why I was hoping to find Heathcliff quickly, but we'd been in the Shrine for a few minutes and hadn't caught sight of him yet. I went to one of the KoB members and asked him to find the GM. If he needed to know who was looking, my name should've been enough.

The KoB guild member came back right away with a message for me.

"The GM invites you to the courtyard. He says there was more turnout than he expected."

The KoB member led us back downstairs, to the entrance. There was a small square, surrounded by three buildings. Some of the bricks making up the walkway and the outer walls had blackened with age and time, but for the most part, it was all the same creamy color. There were around twenty people in the courtyard, some in KoB uniforms, others with nondescript armor or guild tabards that I recognized from elsewhere. Of course, Heathcliff—with his white shield and red armor—was impossible to miss.

"There you are. I'm sorry we didn't get word to you that we'd be out here. The group is growing faster than any of us expected."

I looked across the courtyard. All of these people—some of them with spears, others with shields or daggers—they were all survivors in some way? Like Sachi and me? Heathcliff had really used all his pull as a progression guild leader to track down these wounded and damaged souls and bring them into one place?

Sachi stepped back, shivering.

"There really are a lot of people here. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea, right now…."

I held her hand, trying to calm her, but I had to admit, I didn't know quite how all of this would play out.

"So, how does this work? Is this a discussion group?"

Heathcliff glanced aside, looking for someone.

"More than that. I'd like you to meet a couple ambitious souls."

He tapped his shield on the ground, and a man and a woman broke from their separate conversations to approach us. The man, looked to be about twenty-five years old and in good shape. He'd dyed his hair platinum blond and carried only a dagger around his waist.

The woman was younger—only twenty, I guessed—with short red hair just above her shoulders, but the mace strapped to her back was almost as big as she was. Heathcliff nodded to both of them and conducted the introductions.

"I've been working with these two for some time to build a support group for players in need. I think they could be of some help to the two of you."

I couldn't see how two people could help do that, let alone these two who seemed perfectly normal to me. I asked Heathcliff, and the two of them,

"How's that?"

"Because I've seen people die."

That was the man, and Heathcliff nodded in approval.

"Thank you, Ezekiel-kun. I didn't know how much I should say about that."

"As much as is needed. I was in a dungeon group and saw my whole party annihilated. I was the only survivor, but that wasn't the worst of it. Of all the people I talked to about it, Aurora here was the only one who cared to listen."

He indicated the redheaded woman beside him, but she shook her head.

"You don't give yourself enough credit, Zeke. You had to be willing to talk before anyone could listen."

"Maybe so, but even when I did speak, you were the only one who seemed to care about what I went through and how I struggled with it. That's when we decided that we couldn't be the only people struggling with those feelings. There had to be others, and we needed to find them."

Sachi looked to Ezekiel, then to Aurora, trying to size them up.

"So you sought out people like us? Like me? To do what, exactly? I know this is a group for people like us, but what would we do if we joined you?"

Aurora explained it:

"We're trying to build a support group, a network of people who can play together and level together and maybe even raid together in time. More than that, our goal is just to let people know that we're here, that they're not alone in this game and can come to us if they feel lost or troubled. People like us don't have to suffer alone."

"That's nice of you to say, but do you think I'm someone you can really help? I don't want to be a burden to people; I've just been having a really hard time lately. You two seem really together about things. I don't feel _together_ at all."

Ezekiel laughed to himself bitterly.

"Everyone I've talked to feels that way: they all think that everyone can see how uneasy and afraid they are. It's not the case. Me, I'm on-edge a lot of days. I stay away from alleys and tight spaces—anything that reminds me of the dungeon where it all happened. I start to breathe more quickly and have to hurry out of there just to keep calm. We all have our issues to deal with. Trust me: we can relate to that."

Aurora nodded and added on to that.

"Even if you haven't lost someone here, it's not surprising for people to feel anxiety about the game. I've run into people who freak out about water because it doesn't feel real to them, and that's frightening. They get anxious because they can't talk to their loved ones or family. Being here is stressful; we all feel it in different ways. Be proud of yourself: I've met people who wouldn't even admit they were having trouble, not for days or weeks. You've already taken the first step, the most important step, toward coping."

Sachi stared at Aurora for a moment; then, she looked out at the dozen or so others in the courtyard. Some of them chatted in groups. Others stood alone, watching restlessly or pacing.

"So, a lot of people here have lost someone in the game?"

Aurora nodded.

"We're not exclusive, but we wanted to give people an opportunity to meet others like them and not feel alone. If you like, you can talk to some of the others. Meet with them and mingle as much as you feel comfortable."

"And we're supposed to talk about what happened to us?"

Ezekiel jumped in.

"It's better if you do. Trust me."

"Zeke, please."

Aurora put an arm out between him and Sachi.

"No one will ask you about it first. This isn't a high-pressure environment. You can talk about it if you like. As Zeke said, it can be helpful, but only if you're ready."

Heathcliff cleared his throat.

"If it's not too much trouble, I would like to discuss some of the future activities of this group. As I've said, Knights of the Blood throw their full support behind this endeavor. I hope Sachi-san and Kirito-kun will find this group helpful to them, too."

Ezekiel and Aurora said their goodbyes while Heathcliff took them aside. That left the two of us standing alone in the courtyard while the rest of them—this group of survivors, for lack of a better word—continued to mingle. I turned to Sachi.

"So? What do you think?"

She bit her lip and touched the sword at her side.

"You know, I really thought it would be better if I fought for them. I have no right to stay behind and be safe while the rest of you were putting yourselves in danger."

"You have every right."

"I know that, but it doesn't feel that way."

She touched a finger to her chest armor.

"It doesn't feel that way in _here_. I didn't feel happy being so safe all the time. I thought I could do right by them, and I wouldn't feel so uneasy all the time, but it hasn't changed. I haven't changed. I'm still the scaredy-cat, like how Keita used to tease me about."

She unsheathed her sword, catching the sun's light and studying her reflection.

"I think this was a mistake. I think I've been trying to find something to help me keep going for a while now. I like that I can kill monsters and stand with you, out there, but it's not what I need. But how am I supposed to tell people about all that? About how foolish I've been? How I've done silly and stupid things, dangerous things, just to stay afloat when I felt I was drowning?"

"Either you tell them or you hold it all in. What do you think is better for you?"

"That's making it sound simple."

Nevertheless, Sachi took a deep breath and gazed over the courtyard. Those eyes of Sachi's could look so sad and weighty sometimes. Sometimes, the mole by her right eye would make it look like she was weeping. She closed her eyes and breathed again. She exhaled until the last wisp of air left her lungs, as if she could blow out all the grief and anxiety inside her and be left with just herself.

When she opened her eyes again, she didn't smile. She just set her sights straight ahead. She made for the nearest group of people, smiled nervously, and bowed in apology for intruding.

"May I join you?"

The others opened their circle to welcome us, and a man in the group—probably no older than I was—tried to break the ice.

"Hey, I'm Peeler. These two are Kali and Collmenter. I can't speak for these two, but I came here with my brother. Lost him on Floor 12—damn genius had the nerve to go after an underwater chest. Ah, but if he hadn't died, I probably would've tried for it, too, you know? So I can't blame him for that. Grab a beer; tell us about yourselves, if you like."

"I'm Sachi, and this is my friend Kirito. We were in the same guild, but the rest of the guild are gone. I guess what's why we're here…."

I don't think I've ever been prouder of anyone in that moment—not even when my sister started winning tournaments in kendo. Sachi made what troubled her real in that moment. She stopped trying to deal with it all alone. There were others who could listen, and I was glad to count myself among them.

Maybe something good could come of this after all.

#

Over the next few weeks, Aurora and Ezekiel's informal support group began to call itself _In Memoriam_. It welcomed players from any background, as long as they felt they needed help or were prepared to give it. It wasn't an official guild, and Aurora never intended to make it one. You see, Aurora had an eye for members of raiding guilds. She didn't want them to feel like they had to drop their guild tag just to get help. She explained her interest like so:

"Raiders are the ones engaged in the most dangerous activities. The progression group may have a good sense for how to play it safe now, but I bet if you look at how many raiders die versus how many non-raiders do, out of every ten or a hundred, it's not even close. And if one lost raider means two of his friends are in no state to play for weeks or months, that's a big hit to progression, isn't it?"

Aurora was cautious but full of conviction. It was her thoroughness and persistence that brought In Memoriam together. She organized dungeon runs, leveling parties, and the like, all to build a sense of community outside of what people had lost. Complementing her was Ezekiel, who had a background in progression raiding. He was more comfortable talking about game mechanics—synergistic skill combinations, abilities of raid bosses, and so on—than he was with putting together guild functions, which put him more on the spot, but he always followed Aurora's lead, acting as her right-hand man.

That's why, when he came to Sachi and me one evening, after a guild excursion to grind some XP, I knew it was a message straight from Aurora herself.

"One of the things we're going to be doing over the next few weeks is a therapy group for new members. Would you guys be interested?"

It didn't take long for Sachi to say _yes_.

This was no therapy meeting I'd ever envisioned, though. Aurora rented out a tavern for a private party since In Mem lacked any private guild housing. We were still working with Heathcliff's support, so Aurora felt Alkuds was the natural place to meet. Alkuds was warm, even at that time of year, so despite the privacy of our gathering, the NPCs had propped the doors open to let the breeze and light in. The yellow stone walls of the building reflected a good deal of sunlight, keeping the atmosphere bright.

With kebabs and pita sandwiches galore at our disposal, Aurora convened the meeting with a short speech from the head of the table.

"Guys, thanks for coming. More than leveling or running dungeons or anything like that, I think this is the most important mission for In Memoriam. This is what's going to help us feel like a community, you know? I understand some of you are hesitant. It's hard to talk about things that are so intensely personal, but you know what? That's okay. It's okay to be anxious about it. All I'm asking you is to set that anxiety aside for a minute and say to yourself, 'Am I going to be happier keeping all of this inside? Or can I risk saying a bit about what's going on with me, and maybe someone here will understand?'

"That's what we're trying to do here. Now, again, no one is required to speak about anything they're uncomfortable with. I may go around and strike up a conversation with a few people just to make sure everyone's engaged, but as long as you listen to others and offer genuine feelings of support, you're fine. You don't have to say anything else, not about why you joined, nor something that bothers you. You decide that. That's the first rule here.

"The second rule is to try not to judge. A lot of people fear that others might laugh at them or think their problems trivial. It may even be your first reaction to laugh at something that seems silly. Don't worry if you do—sometimes you just can't help that—but have the maturity and empathy to understand that others may be really afraid of that.

"That said, the last rule is not to be afraid to speak and offer comfort. Your honest, genuine feelings are often as good as anything. You do not need to say something perfect. If you do wait for that, you'll end up saying nothing. As long as you mean the comfort you're trying to offer, anything else won't matter. For instance, I once was with a paralyzed friend that I knew, and I accidentally offered to take her for a walk—just to get outside, you know? I didn't even realize what I'd said until a few minutes later. She didn't mind. She thought it was funny. Such innocent things aren't going to hurt people very often. It's more important just to say _something_."

Aurora took a deep breath, grabbing the edge of the table as she composed herself.

"All right, with all that said, I asked a few people to come just to offer some stories about themselves and break the ice. Zeke, can we start with you?"

Ezekiel sat back in his chair, taking a breath.

"Well, most of you all know the basics of why I'm here: trapped in a dungeon, watched my party die all around me, couldn't do anything to help them. That's only half the story, really.

"I was in DDA at the time, and after that, they didn't want to have anything to do with me. I was still underleveled for raiding, they said, and if I'd had any balls, I'd have found a way to save the rest of my party or to die with them. Getting away, they said, made me look like a coward. My reward for survival? I was kicked out of the guild. Thanks for nothing and all that."

He pursed his lips indifferently before moving on.

"But you know, if I'd been in their place, I probably would've done the same. I'd played a lot of games in the past—you know, since I was in high school and something like 32 gigs of RAM was screaming, even for a gaming rig. I'd been in guilds like that, whose sole purpose was progression raiding, and that was the expectation: that you'd contribute, or they'd cut you loose. If you were undergeared but had skill, they might throw some gear your way and see if you developed, but any other issues? No way. Needy girlfriend? Inconvenient work schedule? They'd cut ties with you in a heartbeat. I accepted that, and I thought that's just the way it was."

He sat upright then, leaning forward to engage all of us.

"Getting cut from DDA convinced me that there's another way, though. I hope that, when In Mem has found its feet and is established, we'll all be able to think of each other as family. You can't depend on random strangers to help you when you're struggling, but you can depend on family, right?

"That's why I need you guys; I really do. Nobody else really listens. I was pinned under a rock when my party was annihilated. Being stuck like that, being pinned in a tight space—it still scares me. I can't go in small rooms or narrow dungeons without feeling it. Not everybody would understand that. I think you guys can, and you do. That's what I'm hoping for, out of this guild."

I had to admire Ezekiel for talking so openly, so frankly about his past and his fears. For him, it was an ongoing struggle, and I hoped that was something Sachi could relate to. Sachi hadn't even looked at Ezekiel throughout his story, though: her eyes were set straight ahead and steady. I thought she must've been rehearsing what she wanted to say, so I left her alone while other members of the group gave stories. One came from the girl named Kali—an exotic, bare-knuckle martial artist. She had a small, fragile frame about her, with short blonde hair that clung tightly to her head, but she had anything but a fragile attitude.

"Yeah, so, hey, I'm Kali. You might've heard of me as the girl who killed a man because he tried to tamper with her Ethics Code. And no, that's not a euphemism."

Apparently, Kali's last guild had a few unscrupulous members, who ganged up on her in the wilderness and tried to force themselves upon her. They clearly didn't understand one thing: that while you can disarm someone who specializes in swords, axes, or maces, someone with Martial Arts skill is always capable of dishing out lethal combinations.

For most people, that would've elicited some sympathy, but Kali was quick to dispel any pretense of wanting that from us. She sat back casually, with a glass of wine in her hand, and told the story like it was nothing.

"We were out in the wilderness, so anti-harassment policy didn't apply. Thankfully, you can't actually turn off Ethics Code outside an Area. None of them knew that, but they were still determined to have a little fun. One of them shoved me to the ground; that got him flagged, and that meant he was fair game, as far as I was concerned. And if you think that bothers me, you're wrong. It doesn't. What bothers me is that I spent months with that guild. I ate with them. I fought alongside them. And some of the guys were kinda skeevy, sure. I let it go because I didn't think it would get any better elsewhere. I put my trust in the officers to look out for me, like an equal. One of the officers was there; he helped them bind my feet to the ground.

"It's hard to find people worth trusting in this game. It's hard to find people who won't betray you, or who won't betray each other, at the first opportunity."

Aurora poured Kali another glass of wine and offered sympathies.

"We're trying to do better here."

"Keep trying."

Slack-jawed, Aurora looked at Kali in alarm. Kali took a sip and explained,

"I mean, I do think you guys have better odds, but you gotta follow through on it, you know? All the shakes, the nightmares—I can deal with all that, as long as I feel like there's still a place to come to, somewhere to call home."

The other speaker Aurora had lined up was an older man called _Collmenter_. A man in his fifties, Collmenter sported a full beard, jet black in color, and he was built well. Even in a safe environment like the tavern, he kept his two-handed sword close by. His voice was steady and measured:

"I haven't seen any loss or death in this game, not personally. My experience comes from the real world. I work as a programmer, see, in game development."

He chuckled softly, with a wry smile.

"Guess that's why an old fart like me is here, right? Had to stop by to check out the competition."

Collmenter scratched his chin, frowning, and he went silent for a moment.

"It can be a pretty cutthroat business sometimes, too. That's how I know what it means to lose someone. A few years ago, my company was working on a project and got a little behind. We were all under a lot of pressure, and one of my colleagues couldn't handle it. He went to the president's office, had a heated conversation, and jumped out the president's window."

Sachi cringed. Kali whistled, shaking her head, and Aurora put down her wine glass, folding her hands, and she said,

"I'm sorry, Collmenter."

Collmenter nodded, smiling briefly.

"I appreciate that, but it's unneeded, really. I didn't know the man too well, and his death didn't trouble me. No, what troubled me was what happened after: how the company painted him as unstable and atypical. How they smeared his name, saying he had been making threats and slacking on the job. Only a miscreant, someone terminally dissatisfied, would make such a _scene_."

He slid a lump of meat from a kabob to his place, and he rolled it on his place to sit just so.

"I left the company over that. It wasn't easy; at my age, finding a company that will take you over some raw university grad who'll take half the pay or less is a real chore. It worked out for me, but it easily could've blown up in my face. It blew up in the company's face more, though. They went out of business within the year. They didn't understand their own people."

He waved a hand over the table, gesturing to the whole of the food and the dishes before us.

"If something like that were to happen here, to people trying to raid, it affects all of us. It keeps us all here. I don't want to see that happen. Hearing from Ezekiel, though, it sounds like it already has. That's why I think it's important to be here. I don't know what I can do to support this guild, but I can't, in good conscience, abandon people who don't deserve to be smeared."

Aurora tapped her wine glass on the table at that.

"In Mem wouldn't be what it is without people like you. So, everyone, let's help Collmenter wants to help out here, right? Let's give him some ideas. Sachi, any thoughts?"

Eyes wide, Sachi sat upright, as though struck by a bolt of lightning.

"Me? Right now?"

"If you like."

"Ah, I'm just pleased to meet everyone, really. It's nice to have everyone here, willing to listen."

"I think so, too. Listening is a lot more important than people give it credit. If there's anything you want us to listen to, we're here. If not, we can move on. The decision is yours."

Sachi sighed, the idea obviously weighing on her. I offered her a hand under the table, and she accepted, squeezing it tightly.

Aurora, with a sympathetic smile, picked up on Sachi's discomfort.

"No problem. There's plenty of time. Let me see, then; we had—"

"No, wait, wait."

Sachi straightened herself in her chair, still holding on to my hand.

"It's all right. I want to speak."

"Then we're here to listen."

Nodding, Sachi cleared her throat and began.

"I had a bad episode, the other day. I was separated from Kirito for a bit during a boss fight. He seemed to be struggling, and I couldn't help him. It was a helpless, terrifying feeling. It really scared me because I've felt that way before…."

Sachi took her time, explaining how the rest of Black Cats had died and what Asuna had done to her. The room was supportive, with Kali muttering about slugging the next KoB member she came across (much to Aurora's chagrin). Ezekiel was more measured about the affair:

"Maybe that's something raiding guilds need to do to make sure everyone is capable of performing, but…"

He shook his head and sighed.

"There's got to be a better way. There should be a better way than risking someone's sanity by pushing them like that. No one should ever try to do that to a person. That's not your fault."

That was the consistent message from In Mem: it was not Sachi's fault for feeling that way, and they would help her learn techniques to deal with that kind of stress and to cope with it effectively. And over the course of that conversation, Sachi's wary expression turned to a warm smile.

"Thank you; thank you all for your kind words. It means a lot to me. These past few months have been really hard, and a lot of times I felt like there wasn't a lot of hope left for someone like me. It feels good to be here, to know such caring people can band together in this harsh world."

Sachi's gratitude drew a toast among the seated guests, and Aurora capped it off with an elegant summation:

"May it stand the test of time. You know, every day I learn something new about the people here. I'm glad to have met you, Sachi—and Kirito as well. You guys make quite a pair."

Sachi and I chuckled nervously at that, and I said,

"What do you mean?"

"Both of you get in mobs' faces; you switch like it's second nature. You two are always in sync."

"We spent a lot of time leveling together. I guess you could say I trained Sachi myself."

"It's hard to stay with someone else for so long without feeling a little bit of what your partner feels, though, isn't it?"

Aurora's sharp gaze was fixed upon me. This wasn't mere banter she was throwing around. She was treating me like Sachi, like everyone else at that table:

Like there was something I should say.

I wouldn't be led on so blindly.

"I wouldn't say that."

"No? Not at all? Sachi, you didn't say Kirito was so cold and unfeeling."

"He's not! If he comes off that way, it's just a show."

Sachi squeezed my hand again.

"These past few months have been hard on Kirito, too. He takes everything upon himself sometimes. It can be noble, but it's also because he doesn't like to rely too much on others. It means that when something goes wrong, he tends to shoulder all the blame. He's felt that way for a long time now, about the rest of the guild."

"Why would he feel guilty? Traps in dungeons happen."

"Ah, that's…"

Sachi winced.

"Sorry, Kirito."

I patted her hand. That wasn't her fault. Aurora had put her on the spot, trying to get to me. I didn't have anything to say. I was there for Sachi. The best I could do was say a few words like Collmenter: that I was there to help and listen. None of that needed to be said again. Nothing that had happened to me was that bad, anyway.

"Hey, look, forget about it."

That was Aurora, holding both hands up to put us at ease.

"I'll freely admit I try to give people a little push here and there, and sometimes I push too hard. If you want to speak, you can, and if you don't, you don't have to. You understand that, don't you, Kirito?"

"I understand. Thank you, Aurora."

"Of course. And that goes for everyone at this table, right?"

There were nods and murmurs of agreement all around: from Ezekiel, who was wise enough to see a little bit of himself in the people who'd shunned him; to Kali, who had trusted in others and been betrayed; to Sachi, who had experienced stunning loss and feared it might happen again.

Each of them had come to the table and overcome something. Ezekiel had learned to seek out something greater than simple glory in raiding. Kali had come to In Mem and shown the group a modicum of trust in spite of everything. And Sachi? She put her shame and guilt aside because she knew she needed to be better, whatever it might take from her.

There were a lot of strong people at that table.

"Anyway."

Aurora cleared her throat, and she glanced around the table.

"Where was I? Have we talked to Peeler yet?"

As Peeler looked stricken, I opened my mouth.

"Wait."

That caught Aurora by surprise. She stared at me wide-eyed for a moment before shaking herself to composure.

"Oh, of course! Please, Kirito. I should've let you finish."

"That would make it sound like I started."

There were a few scattered laughs at that. Even Kali dared to show a smile, for a change. When the moment died down, I went on.

"I should explain what Sachi almost said herself. I'm responsible for Black Cats' demise. I knew, almost certainly, that the chest they opened would be a trap. I'd been there months before, when I had been leveling to keep ahead of the raiding guilds."

Ezekiel snapped his fingers in realization.

"I thought I recognized you. A forward who uses a one-handed straight sword, but without a shield? Not even a buckler? And a solo player at that? That's not that common. But what made you join a guild way behind on progression?"

I folded my arms, took a breath, and stared across the table, at the tavern wall.

"I ran into Black Cats while farming rare mats on a lower floor. I helped lead them out of a bad situation, and I admired their attitude and camaraderie. To that point, I'd leveled to 40 without a guild to call home, nor a regular party to go out with. As a guild, Black Cats felt like home to me. I put that feeling ahead of their safety. I didn't tell them I was well ahead of them in level. I didn't tell them how dangerous the chest was. I didn't tell them I was—that I _am_—a hated beater who has wrung out every advantage from the knowledge I have of the game, all just to get ahead. They are dead thanks to my cowardice, and there is nothing any of you can say to change that."

You see, there was still one difference between them and me: the rest of In Mem struggled against demons that weren't their fault. They were victims of others' cruelty, or of circumstance. I was a victim of my own selfishness, and as a rational human being, I should've done better.

"A hated beater, huh?"

Aurora sat forward, resting her chin on her hands as her eyes wandered about the room.

"So, why do you do it? Why do you 'wring every advantage' from your advanced knowledge, hm? To feel more powerful than other players? To deny them scarce resources and use them for yourself?"

"When Kayaba announced the true nature of this game to everyone, I told myself I'd do everything I could to survive. I couldn't stay with other people. They were new, and I couldn't guarantee their safety. I made my decision right then. If I couldn't rely on other people, I had to use everything I knew just to stay even."

"That doesn't sound selfish to me. That doesn't sound like an out-for-himself beater to me. Sounds like someone who felt he had no other choice and did what he could. That's what any of us tries to do, isn't it? I could no more hate you than I could hate myself."

Aurora raised her glass, and the others—even half-hearted Kali—joined the toast.

"Hear, hear!"

Aurora touched her glass to Ezekiel's and took a sip.

"But I must say one more thing: there's another rule I didn't mention, though it's more a guild rule than a rule of this meeting. Most people think it's a little blasphemous, but I think it's important to keep in mind: _the dead don't care how you feel_. It doesn't help to feel guilty for the dead people you may have let down or wronged. It doesn't help to feel like you owe something to those who died for you. If you feel that way, and let those feelings drive you to actions that are beyond reason, that's just the quickest way to end up sick of life and hoping to die. That's why it's better to just let those feelings go, if you can. Not saying it's easy. Few things are, right?"

The dead don't care how you feel.

She was right; it did sound a bit blasphemous, and I was sure that, if we met a Shinto priest somewhere in SAO, he would have a long and thorough argument against such a view. Aurora didn't mean to buck religion, though. I felt she was just as likely to observe traditions and pay respects to the dead as anyone else, but for the people in that room—for people like _us_—it was important advice. Sachi had been guilty of breaking that rule. She wouldn't have tried to become a tank if not for the memory of the guild pushing her that way.

And I had been no different, either.

But at least I could say I'd earned a place at that table.

After the meeting, Sachi stayed a bit to talk with Kali and Ezekiel and to get some of those kabobs from the tavern to-go. I found Aurora with the NPC innkeeper as they were squaring away the bill.

"What's this? You want to pitch in half for the meal? Don't mind if you do. Thanks, Kirito."

Aurora had a pretty vicious sense of humor, and I must've stood there gaping for three or four seconds trying to find a good reply. Aurora noticed my panic, though, and she broke into a wide grin.

"It's a joke! Relax. What's up?"

"Well, I was going to thank you for what you said earlier, but now I'm not sure. Maybe I want to take it back."

"Ooh, somebody who gives as good as he gets. Well, that's fine. You shouldn't thank me yet because I wasn't finished."

"Oh?"

She turned aside, covering her mouth so only I would hear, and she shot a glance toward Sachi.

"Don't feel guilty about her breakdown, either. You are not responsible for her health, Kirito. You can only support her. Try to keep that in mind. Don't take credit for her good days; don't blame yourself for the bad ones. You understand?"

"I'll…try to keep that in mind."

Aurora pulled away with a smile.

"Good! I'm glad you both spoke a little bit. It feels good to get some things off your chest, right?"

"I felt that way, yes, but how do you know that?"

"Hm? What do you mean?"

"Unless I dozed off during the meal, you didn't say a word about yourself through all that."

She raised both eyebrows, nodding, and pursed her lips.

"Hm, yeah, I suppose you're right. Very perceptive of you, Kirito. Well, it's fine, isn't it? This is for the guild, not for me."

"Isn't In Mem as much a support for its leader as for its members?"

Aurora frowned, and she went hunting through her interface a bit, materializing a small purse. She unloaded some coins and pushed them across to the innkeeper.

"I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to speak today, Kirito. It takes courage to admit your mistakes, to confess something about yourself that people could hate you for. That's a good quality to have."

With that, she bowed to the innkeeper, bowed to me, and walked by, pausing only when she was a step beyond me.

"And don't let anyone beat it out of you."

I spun around, but Aurora trotted out the door, never looking back.

"Kirito, hey! Come over here!"

From the long table, Sachi waved to me.

"Ezekiel has something to say. Don't you, Ezekiel?"

Ezekiel winced, shrugging bashfully.

"It's nothing that important. There's a dungeon on Floor 32 that Kali wants to run later."

"I didn't say I wanted to run it."

Kali scooped up some hummus with some pita bread, not even looking at Ezekiel.

"It just has a guaranteed belt reward for completing an event there, and a lot of people have old belts here. That's all I'm saying."

"Fine, it'd be _smart_ to run it. You guys in? Tomorrow morning, maybe? Around ten sound good?"

"Of course!"

That was Sachi, but after a moment to think about it, she went red, her eyes flicking to me.

"I mean, we're not busy, right, Kirito?"

I chuckled.

"You're enthusiastic all of a sudden. Maybe I want to sleep in tomorrow?"

She pouted.

"But Kirito, this is what a guild does. They do things together."

So it was. Sachi and I—we hadn't been in a guild that was more than just ourselves for a long time. It was easy to forget what that was like.

Well, easy for me, at least. Maybe Sachi remembered better than I did?

Or maybe she just recognized In Memoriam as a guild we could call ours, that we could call home.

And what did I think of that?

I shrugged, and I said,

"I guess there's no sleeping in for me, then."

Nodding, Ezekiel took up his glass. He held it high, saying,

"To a good run, and to many more to come."

Sachi raised her glass, too. Kali took hers aside, tilting it back and forth with a considering frown.

I held on to mine, too, for a time. I glanced to the door, where Aurora had left for the day. Why had she gone so suddenly, and left me such stark advice to remember? I didn't know the answer to that. I didn't know why she and Ezekiel were close friends. I didn't know how they'd come upon Collmenter, or Peeler.

But that's part of the mystery of meeting new people and being accepted by them, isn't it? There's a lot you can't know in just a few hours, days, or weeks. Would Sachi need to stay with this group, this guild—this clan of wounded souls, myself included—long enough for that sheen of mystery to fade away?

I looked to her, and I caught her chuckling to herself. The toast was over, the moment lost while I was mired in my own thoughts. Still, Sachi's laughter rang through the tavern—whether it be thanks to a joke from Peeler or a deadpan remark from Kali, I couldn't say.

But even with the moment gone, I raised my glass on my own. I held it to the light of the candle-laden chandelier, and I drank the last of the wine within.

* * *

_Auld Lang Syne_ updates every two weeks, so look forward to the next chapter on Saturday, September 20, 2014, at 1 PM EDT (10 AM PDT), after the official stream of SAO II Episode 12.

Next time: "Byzas." In Memoriam confront raiding guild discrimination against them, and an attempt at a zone-clearing raid goes awry.

For notes and commentary on this chapter and others, check out the _Auld Lang Syne_ thread on Sufficient Velocity, linked from my user profile.


	4. Byzas

**Byzas**  
_Aincrad Floor 41 - October 8, 2023_

Though Sachi and I had joined In Memoriam, I still joined raids on my own, from time to time. I preferred regular raids on the Labyrinth because they tended to be shorter and took less time away from Sachi or In Mem, but the scout team on Floor 41 needed an abundance of tanks, and though I wasn't a true tank, I'd faked it often enough that some people didn't see the difference, so I was pressed into service.

Raids with the scout team were necessarily small and cozy affairs. Often the raiding guilds would let a whole small guild handle a scouting raid on their own, providing only a few extra people here and there, usually tanks. This raid was run by a smaller guild called _Forgot to Repair_, led by an affable, level-headed guy named _Donovan_. I'd raided with Donovan a few times before, and it was thanks to that that he asked me to go on the scouting raid with his guild and a handful of others from the raiding community.

"Thanks, everybody, for coming out! We're still trying to track down another tank, but hopefully we'll be able to get going in ten or fifteen minutes."

With that, Donovan, in his heavy purple-dyed armor, brushed down an unruly strand of brown hair and went back to conferring with his guildmates.

Ordinarily, it wasn't surprising for a scouting raid to be held up by lack of tanks. There was more of an emphasis on control of the boss versus killing it, and as such, the scout team tended to use more tanks in rotation and skimped on pure damage dealers.

But still, there was something strange about Donovan's statement.

You see, there were twelve of us, hanging out in the Floor 41 town of Byzas. We were milling about the teleport gate, watching as people came and went. The plaza sat on the shore of a channel, a small strip of seawater that connected two larger seas. It was a fine way to spend an afternoon, don't get me wrong. No, the place wasn't the problem, nor the company.

Rather, it was the composition of the group itself.

With only twelve of us, it would be unusual to have more than six tanks unless we already knew the boss required it. Counting Donovan and his silver-plated shield, there were already six of us. I wasn't a pure tank, but with my level and ability to parry and dodge, I could fake it well enough, and if a sixth tank wasn't required, I could focus on damage instead—usually, this was viewed as good flexibility. Aside from us, one tank was haggling with a waitress at the nearby tavern to try to get drinks for the rest of us. Another two were sparring in a series of duels. The sixth was seated next to me on the beach, writing in the sand with the tip of his sword.

"Oh, look, I think my seven-year-old can write better than that!"

Donovan came by to rib that other tank, who responded by placing a handful of sand into Donovan's boot.

"Serves you right, Don."

"If this were a real beach, and I couldn't just unequip my boots…"

Donovan scrolled through his interface, and with one touch, he made his boots disappear.

…and in the process, his feet sank two centimeters into the sand.

"Damn!"

As he shuffled his feet, trying to get as much sand loose as possible, Donovan said to me,

"Kirito, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"All right."

"Privately?"

I climbed from the beach and followed Donovan back to the teleport gate, where three of his other guildies were waiting. They turned aside as soon as the two of us approached, so I asked Donovan,

"What's the meaning of this?"

"Sorry, Kirito. You've raided with us before, so this isn't about you, but I heard you've been hanging around the people from In Memoriam lately?"

"And if I have?"

"Again, look, this isn't about you. It's just, you know, not everyone from over there is in the right state of mind to raid."

"And?"

Donovan sighed, touching a finger to his temple.

"Look, if we let you raid with us, then we have to let anyone from there raid with us. We just can't do that, you know? It's not safe."

"In Mem isn't a raiding guild. You're not obligated to take anyone from there, especially for a scouting raid."

"This isn't about scouting; it's the general principle of the thing. It'd be hell if we had to give every single person from there a chance if they asked for it."

"Why?"

"It just would be. Look, we've got a replacement coming. I pulled you aside here as a courtesy. It's nothing personal."

I'm sure saying that made him feel better about the whole thing.

By that point, most of the other raiders were watching—no, staring. They knew well the kind of conversation we were having. And really, I couldn't make them raid with me.

So I moved for the teleport gate.

"I'm relieved you understand, Kirito."

I understood just fine. I was unwelcome there, and for reasons that had nothing to do with my ability or preparedness to raid.

No, it was simply for whom I associated with, for who I was.

#

After leaving Donovan's raid, I went back to see Sachi. She, Aurora, Ezekiel, and a couple of the others had gone to Floor 39 to level. This was the other half of therapy, in Aurora's words: building an environment where people could be themselves, wounds and all, and not have to worry about being understood.

The group had gone to a tournament area on the outskirts of the main town, Paname. The arena sat in a rectangular depression, beneath ground level, with grassy, earthen grandstands. With one side much longer than the other, it was an ideal arena for jousting, but that day, In Mem was merely fighting an event boss in the arena.

Or at least, most of them were. Near the middle of the long side of the grandstands sat Ezekiel. He put one ankle on top of his other knee and sat back, sipping from a mug. I came down the grandstands from behind him and said,

"Mind if I join you?"

He glanced over his shoulder in surprise, but he patted the flat dirt at his side.

"Take a seat. The fight's just started. Oh, have you had any of this?"

He tilted his mug toward me, showing a yellow-white fluid inside, about the same color as Ezekiel's bleached hair.

"Vendor called it something unpronounceable, but it's pretty good."

Ezekiel gestured toward the end of the grandstands, where were some vendors and merchants camped out at street level. Ordinarily, I might've gone over there myself to check out the goods, but there was one small problem with this tournament that put me ill at ease.

"Excuse me."

An NPC spectator walked on by, and Ezekiel nodded, averting his eyes. I didn't, so I saw the spectator for what he was:

A translucent, ephemeral shadow of a man, still bearing a fatal lance through his chest.

The Paname Tournament was haunted by ghosts and shades, you see. The spectators were specters. The fans were phantoms. I could go on, but I think you get the idea. There are few things more unsettling than the echoing applause of apparitions, which continues long after the crowd has appeared to stop clapping. Even the tournament's festive music was played at a somber, deliberate pace, and in a minor key at that.

So when I peered into Ezekiel's mug once more, I shuddered at the sight of the fluid.

"You know, Ezekiel…"

He raised an eyebrow.

"What is it?"

"I'm pretty sure that drink is Ectoplasm."

"Really? So that's how you say it?"

He sloshed the drink around in his mug, watching the thick liquid flow like molasses inside.

"Strange stuff, right? So what is it?"

I winced.

"It's a slime associated with ghosts."

Ezekiel's eyes went wide.

"Oh really? Strange that it's…well, I guess it wasn't that good after all."

He lowered the mug in front of him and turned it over, but the liquid took a good three or four seconds to seep out, and it made a distinct _plop_ when it finally hit the ground, forming a pile of yellow goo.

Ezekiel sniffed at the mug for good measure, made a face, and tossed the mug away. As it shattered, he said,

"So, Sachi's doing well."

I turned my eyes to the arena.

"Is she?"

"She is."

A few rows below us was the arena floor, where In Mem had a party engaged with the event. A cage of fog had separated the arena in half, and In Mem had divided itself among the two sides as well. Sachi, Aurora, and Castor (or so I was told) had taken one side while Peeler, Kali, and Pollux had the other.

The action on Sachi's side was easier to follow. They had single adds spawning on a timer—ghosts dressed up as valiant knights. Sachi held one of these adds while Aurora clobbered it with her mace. Every so often, Pollux would switch with Sachi and go to town on the Ghostly Knight with his scimitar.

Once this single add died, it didn't shatter, though. Rather, it split into four streams of fog, which penetrated the fog fence and spawned Ectoplasmic Blobs for Kali, Peeler, and Pollux to kill. While this half of the group had the Blobs to deal with, Sachi's group sat idle, waiting for the next Ghost to spawn. Sachi went right to the fog fence, standing by while the other group worked on the Blobs.

Only when Aurora went to Sachi's side to chat did Sachi take her eyes off the other group.

After a short wait, a new Ghostly Knight spawned on Sachi's half of the arena. Aurora tapped Sachi on the shoulder, pointing out the add. Sachi looked one more time across the fence, where Peeler's group had three more Blobs left, but Sachi took a deep breath and charged at her Ghostly Knight, shield first. With that, the cycle continued anew.

"She might need to wait a bit for Peeler's group to finish."

That was Ezekiel, leaning forward now with a tense, scrutinizing expression—the eyes of a raid leader.

I shifted my weight on the earthen grandstand, following Ezekiel's gaze.

"Do you think she'll recognize that?"

"We'll see."

Sachi pulled the Ghostly Knight back, to the center of the room. The Knight bashed at Sachi with a jeweled, ornamented mace, but she absorbed the hit, and she struck back with nothing more than a weak Vertical, cutting along the ghost's chest. Once the move compeleted, she hid behind her shield, making no move to attack. Aurora and Castor stood back, with Aurora at the fog fence, peering to the other side. Kali finished one of the Blobs with a dazzling yellow thrust, and that's when Aurora trotted from the fence, mace in hand, to attack the Ghostly Knight from the rear.

Ezekiel nodded, sitting back again with a smile.

"That's good. Big improvement. Last week, Sachi just teed off on the Knight as soon as it spawned, no matter what. She just wanted it out of her hair as soon as possible, even though that couldn't possibly help the other side. Aurora came up with the idea of going to Sachi's side and keeping her grounded. Looks like it's working."

I smiled, saying only,

"Looks like, yeah."

Aurora and Castor dispatched the second Ghostly Knight, and once again, Aurora went to Sachi, engaging her with hand gestures and quick chatter. They even started going around their side of the arena, marking off positions in the dirt with their weapons.

I looked back to Ezekiel and bowed my head.

"Thanks, for all you and Aurora have done to help Sachi these past few weeks. It's really cheered her up."

Ezekiel chuckled.

"Don't thank us so blithely. You might say this is in our own interest, isn't it?"

I raised an eyebrow.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, Sachi's doing better with her anxiety. Peeler's leveling up fast. Could be time for us to take a crack at raiding, pretty soon."

"That so?"

My eyes wandered back to the arena, but Ezekiel wouldn't let it go:

"Speaking of which, is the scout team through already? Or was there a no-show?"

I drummed my fingers on the earthen grandstand, frowning.

"I wasn't needed."

"Ah, too many forwards?"

"No, I was replaced."

Ezekiel's mouth hung open for a second, but then he scowled, and he swiped at the earth beside him, flinging some dirt and pebbles down the slope of the grandstand.

"Because of us, right?"

I nodded once, and Ezekiel let out a frustrated sigh.

"This is getting out of hand. You're the third person this has happened to."

Given Donovan's attitude, I wasn't surprised. He kicked me out without a second thought, once he found out who I'd been hanging out with of late.

I thought for a couple moments before asking,

"Does Aurora plan to do something about it?"

Ezekiel pursed his lips, and he stared at the arena below.

"Maybe we should switch Kali and Castor. Kali's single-target damage would be better suited on Sachi's side."

We watched in silence as the group finished up the event, mowing through a couple more waves of Ghostly Knights and Ectoplasmic Blobs until the fog fence separating the sides opened up. For the final phase, the arena was flooded with Ghosts and Blobs in sprint to the finish.

When there were only a handful of mobs left, Ezekiel wandered down to the arena floor, and I followed him. The others killed the last couple blobs, and to discordant fanfare, they guzzled potions to recover from the zerg phase. There was no hint of congratulations from the raid leader, though. Ezekiel went right to Aurora.

"Can we talk for a minute?"

Aurora raised both eyebrows.

"What about?"

Ezekiel looked back to the side of the arena floor, where I stood. When Aurora saw me, she deflated visibly, growing a year older right before my eyes.

"Let's get some privacy, then."

She and Ezekiel walked down the long side of the arena floor, and they turned a corner into a tunnel that ran under the grandstand, partially out of sight.

"What's the crisis?"

That was Kali, who leaned to her side to peer around the tunnel edge. She brushed a couple short, blonde hairs out of her eyes and pressed her lips together, watching Aurora and Ezekiel with a wary expression.

I scratched the back of my head and looked aside.

"Ezekiel and Aurora are talking about In Mem people being kicked out of raids."

"Kicked out why, exactly?"

"For being In Mem people."

"And who's been—"

Kali looked me up and down.

"Ah."

At that, Peeler slapped me on the shoulder, grinning.

"You sure it's about being one of us? Or maybe Don doesn't want you to show him up? Guy does like to be the hero."

I shrugged.

"Well, I—"

"We're not shoving ourselves into the raid group just to be attacked for it!"

Aurora's voice rang out in the arena, echoing three times over. The rest of us stared, and Aurora and Ezekiel looked back like clueless animals in front of an oncoming train. Aurora regained her wits first, though, and she dragged Ezekiel further down the tunnel, completely out of sight.

"Attacked for it? Why would she think we'd be attacked for it?"

That was Sachi, who came up beside me. She gave me a wan smile, saying,

"Hey. Are you okay?"

I kicked my boot on the dirt floor of the arena.

"I'm fine. Maybe I was due some fresh air anyway."

I glanced back down the grandstand, to the tunnel mouth.

"As for why Aurora thinks we would be attacked, I can't say, but I think Ezekiel's heard it before."

After a fashion, Aurora and Ezekiel came back out again. Aurora was in the lead, and Ezekiel followed her like a flag man for a military charge. Her fists clenched, Aurora marched up to us purposefully, her short red hair bouncing behind her like a candle flame in the wind. She took a breath to compose herself and said,

"Sorry about that, guys. I guess we're having some issues with the raiding guilds. Zeke and I have talked about it for a bit, and I just want to get a headcount. How many of you are interested in raiding, officially?"

I raised my hand. Kali did, too, as did Sachi. Ezekiel came up next to Aurora and raised a hand. Aside from Aurora, the only ones not to raise their hands were the Gemini twins, who looked to one another and shrugged.

"We're KoB, technically. We raid with them either way. Now, if people are going to start ignoring that just to cast In Mem out…"

Castor raised his hand in conclusion, and he elbowed Pollux to do the same.

Aurora sighed at that, hands on her hips, and she tapped a finger on her side as she looked at us.

"All right. I know a few others have already expressed interest. That's too many to ignore, isn't it? We have no choice but to take this to the raiding guilds, then. Zeke's going to make the case for us at the next strategy meeting. Everyone's welcome to attend. You can just be there to support him, or you can speak your mind. Up to you. Thanks for coming out, everybody. Sachi, good job today."

Sachi smiled briefly, but by the time she looked up, Aurora was already heading up the grandstand stairs.

"Hey!"

That was Peeler, who cupped his hands over his mouth.

"I thought we had enough time for another summon! Where are you going?"

Aurora stopped about a third of the way up the steps, and she turned sideways, putting only one eye on us.

"Sorry. Feeling a little beat today. If you guys want to keep going, Kirito or Zeke can take care of you, right?"

With that, Aurora jogged up the stairs to street level, and she disappeared behind the top of the grandstand.

#

Maybe it sounds silly, to make such a fuss about raiding. You could certainly argue that In Mem was doing its part to help people in the game, and that didn't need to include raiding to be meaningful.

But I think that was an important message that Ezekiel wanted to get across: that people who had seen death and lost themselves as a result could come together and make something bigger than themselves. There was a lot of hope in that message.

But to others, it could come off as ambitious, even arrogant.

The culture of progression raiding guilds can be very insular and closed-minded. In other games, where guilds more often compete rather than cooperate, the drive to be the best forces people to consider alternatives. That wasn't the case here: the progression guilds in SAO competed for members and prestige, but in the end, they had to cooperate to a significant degree in the interests of everyone's safety. They'd developed the system of scouting runs, open zone clears, and rotating leadership in raids. Everything was about the system, the hierarchy. That hierarchy hadn't changed much in the last few months—not since ALS was decimated and left progression to become The Army, not since Heathcliff had formed KoB in the wake of that tragedy.

A new, organized, unofficial guild group like In Memoriam had an uphill battle to try to establish itself, even in the best circumstances, but there was an unhealthy skepticism and suspicion about In Mem's members, too.

The place to confront that skepticism was the Floor 41 boss strategy meeting, held at a barracks outside Byzas. Sitting along the defensive walls of the city, the barracks were a little cramped, especially for such a big audience, but Aurora, Ezekiel, Sachi, and I managed to make a small corner of the room our own.

"This is a big deal, isn't it?"

That was Sachi. She kept her eye on the doorway, and each player who walked in, armored in rare drops or high-level crafted gear, drew a gasp or stare of awe from her. Soon enough, there were more than forty people all crowding around the central table, where the dungeon map had been placed. Stuck in the corner, we wouldn't see much of anything, but Sachi didn't seem to mind. She marveled at the raiders, but seeing so many high-level, well-geared players intimidated her a bit, too.

"It's really different, seeing so many of them all in one place. All together, they look like they could take on anything."

Ezekiel shook his head.

"Don't think that way. Everything they have, you can have to if you put your mind to it and work for it. And if you think they're not afraid, they are. They're just as afraid as the rest of us. The difference is how they react to it, right, Kirito?"

I shrugged.

"Some raiders I know have clothed themselves in all the best armor _because_ they're so scared."

That drew a smile from Sachi, whose eyes were still on the assembled raiders.

"It makes me want to go get something crafted. I feel a little shabby in this old breastplate."

Aurora, who had sat stiffly and stoically throughout, loosened up enough to give Sachi some comfort. She leaned in to Sachi, trying to be heard despite the din in the barracks.

"I know a couple crafters I trust. Maybe after this we can talk to one of them? They should have a good selection, and you can get anything you want, really. We'll say it's for the guild's image."

Sachi chuckled nervously.

"Well, as long as it's blue, I guess it's okay…."

"Blue it is. Zeke, you've got plenty of dye, right?"

Ezekiel narrowed his eyes.

"Just because I dyed my hair, you think I have dye for everything?"

"Uh, yeah?"

Ezekiel sighed at that, and the girls shared a giggle at his expense. He went to me for relief.

"Save me, Kirito. Tell me a bit about what's going on with this boss. You must know something."

I shrugged.

"Only a bit. Klein told me it was all about the adds. The raid has to divide up into several isolated groups to deal with the adds in their part of the room, so it should be good for us. We can contribute a party and take care of a section by ourselves, essentially independent of the rest of the raid."

"That's good. I'm glad there are fights like that still. It gives me hope we can slot in a group here and there without having to tightly integrate with the whole rest of the raid right away. Though the downside is that if we don't hold up our part of the room, it'll all be on us, huh?"

Aurora pursed her lips with a thoughtful expression.

"I bet if we were in that raid, we'd clear our side just as fast as anyone else."

That was Aurora all right. Though she had misgivings about this meeting, she always had faith in her people, her guild.

"Attention! This meeting will come to order. This strategy meeting to defeat Hydralis the Seven-Faced will come to order!"

Only KoB liked to have so much pomp and ceremony, but it was definitely effective. The room quieted down to almost a whisper, and the leader of the meeting stood up, but in that red bandana, he didn't seem half prepared to match the formality with which he'd been introduced. Klein worked his way to the dungeon map and stood on the table to be seen above the crowd.

"Thank you all for coming. We've got a few things to discuss today—strategy for Hydralis, choosing the raid, and clearing the open zones of Floor 42 after Hydralis dies. Let's get started with the strat, yeah?"

The explanation was somewhat long-winded, as the boss fight was some complicated effort to stop this monstrous hydra from maturing into a giant beast that could destroy all of Aincrad. Somehow, this involved some steampunk scientists who would act as adds during the fight. It's not really important for what In Mem was trying to do, though.

Once Klein was finished explaining the boss fight and organizing the raid, we got to the heart of the meeting, as far as In Memoriam was concerned. Klein addressed the convened members on this subject.

"All right, once Hydralis dies, which we expect will happen today, it would be nice to make it to the next town before night. There's no limit on how many volunteers we'd take for clearing Floor 42, though it's probably best if it's not more than three full raids, just so we don't bump heads too much."

This drew a lot of interest, as it usually did. DDA put a raid together by themselves. KoB fielded three parties, and Klein himself put forth two. Clearing the exterior zones around the Labyrinth wasn't a much safer proposition than the boss fights, but that was only because the progression guilds had perfected and choreographed boss attempts so well. A limit of only one full raid per boss meant that there was more cooperation instead of competition.

That wasn't so when it came to open field clearing. Lots of guilds considered it a race to the next town for exclusive benefits, like rare items off vendors and so on. Smaller guilds did band together a lot to be competitive there, but these alliances weren't always happy ones.

"If there's anyone else who wants to work together for clearing the next floor, please speak now."

At that, Ezekiel looked to the three of us, and Aurora, though still somewhat dour, gave him a nod. Taking heart, Ezekiel rose, announcing his intentions for all to hear:

"I would like to offer a party for the zone clear. I represent In Memoriam, a non-guild group of players. We have people ready to contribute to the effort to clear this game."

The DDA guild leader, Lind, folded his arms and scrutinized Ezekiel. It's true, Ezekiel didn't look that impressive—with his bleached blond hair and tall, skinny physique. I couldn't fault anyone, even Lind, for being a little skeptical. And Lind was Ezekiel's former guild leader. That couldn't look good for him, either.

"We don't typically just take anyone off the street. What credentials do your people have? How do we know they're qualified for this content?"

"You can ask Heathcliff and KoB about us. They'll vouch for our ability to contribute here."

All eyes turned to Asuna, who seemed a bit stiff, but she answered steadily.

"Knights of the Blood have aided Ezekiel and In Memoriam in their effort to reach out to players in need of help and support in coping with this game. We fully endorse their offer to join the Floor 42 clear, with anyone they deem fit to contribute."

"Of course you would."

That was Donovan, in his shiny purple garb, and this time, he spoke with the bulk of Forgot to Repair behind him.

"KoB's big enough to do their own thing, if they wanted to. FtR can't do that. We would be forced to raid with many people who are largely untested. Most of the people who join In Memoriam are still dealing with traumatic stress from something they've seen or experienced in this game. They shouldn't be putting themselves into stressful situations again."

Asuna turned an icy glare to Donovan.

"Are you suggesting they're not capable of a meaningful contribution? It would be pretty early of you to say so, having never seen them in combat. I don't think you have the grounds to say that."

"Maybe I don't, but I'd like to hear how In Mem responds to it."

With the room watching him, Ezekiel made his way through the crowd and joined the guild leaders and officers around the strategy table. He met Donovan's gaze before addressing the crowd.

"In Memoriam is a support network. We hope to provide the sense of community and outreach that is necessary for people to cope with loss and the ongoing struggle of getting free of this game. Some of our people have been, or still are, part of established raiding guilds. Their ability to raid hasn't been questioned, and why should it be? Would you rather people stay quiet and suffer instead of seeking help?That would be insane!"

He opened his arms to the crowd, speaking to them as a whole.

"All I'm asking is for your consideration. Some of our members are not part of raiding guilds, but they wish to raid, and we want to offer that experience for them."

Donovan shook his head.

"Why? Do you think people deserve the chance to raid just because they want to? This is our survival on the line here."

"It's our survival as much as yours."

"But how do we know you're not going to break down in the middle of a fight?"

"I'm open to suggestions. Maybe you'd like to take a swing at me?"

Surprised, Donovan looked to two of his officers, who both shrugged in response. With no better idea, Donovan unhitched his mace from his hip.

"Hey! Knock it off!"

Asuna's cry was unneeded, for Donovan swung, stopping just short of Ezekiel's nose.

Ezekiel didn't even batt an eyelash.

"I'm really not scared of pixels, see? Does that make my point?"

"You may be fine, but that doesn't say anything about the rest of your guild."

"You're right; it absolutely doesn't. I said we would vouch for them, that we would make sure each person we put forward was in a good state of mind to raid. That has to be done on a case-by-case basis. You can't bar a whole guild, or accept them, on the basis of a single person. I'm glad you understand that now, too."

Donovan scowled, and one of his officers whispered in his ear. Nodding, Donovan cleared his throat, and he spoke up again.

"Fine. That proves you might be okay to raid. What about the rest of you? How do we know you're qualified to vet everyone in your guild?"

Ezekiel huffed at that.

"Well, I did raid in DDA once."

"Half of Aincrad has raided with DDA."

Three DDA members rushed in front of Lind and held him back, away from Donovan. Lind snarled, but he settled for just a glare at Dononan. Ezekiel chuckled, shaking his head, and he went on.

"As I was saying, I raided in DDA once, but I have more background than that. I've led raids in several games before this one, from _EVE_ to _Warcraft_ to _Day of Saggittarius Online_."

Ezekiel gestured to the stone table, where the mockup map of the boss's room lay.

"You guys talked about dividing the Hydralis raid into four parts, right? Each quarter of the raid would act on its own, independent of the others. That's all well and good if you can guarantee that each quarter has the same overall ability as the others, but it means the raid is only as strong as the weakest link."

"What would you suggest? Look at the doors."

Donovan tapped four corners of the map, where stairs from the lower level of the boss's room led to the upper balcony.

"Splitting the raid is the natural strategy."

"Sure it is; I'm not saying anything different. But! If there are problems with that strategy, you could do it with four groups, one covering each door, and a big rover group composed of four parties. They just go around the room, mopping up everything in front of them."

Touching a finger to the map, Ezekiel traced out a circle, and he tapped the map twice to emphasize his point.

"As long as they can get back around before the next wave, that strategy would work too. We did that on Floor 23, right? Vexalion? It's something worth keeping in mind, anyway, if the split strategy doesn't work. Does that demonstrate I have enough of a grasp of raid leading to judge people? Or will there be a written exam, too?"

"Wh—well…"

Donovan stammered, eyes wide, and his right hand started tracing circles in the air.

"Maybe there should be one!"

At last, a voice of reason came from the gallery.

"Come on, Don, just let it go already. We've got a dungeon run in twenty, and you're wasting all our time trying to get out of this hole you've dug yourself. The In Mem guy knows his shit, okay? Stop making a fuss until you actually have to raid with them. We've got better things to do with our time."

Donovan shrank under this criticism, and he looked around the room for support, but there weren't too many friendly eyes in the house.

"Well, uh…fine! All right. I was just trying to look out for the good of the raid. All of you, do what you want."

With that, Donovan stormed back to the rest of the FtR contingent. His arms folded, he drummed his fingers on his elbows and pouted. Ezekiel stepped back as well, and with both of them having cleared the floor, Klein looked about the room.

"Any further objections to Ezekiel's request? No? Then I'll add In Memoriam's party to the list of submissions. Guild officers should expect a message from me about any cooperative teams in the next few hours. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me or another officer in Fūrinkazan. Thank you!"

While most of the attendees filed out, Sachi, Aurora, and I fought through the oncoming tide to reach Ezekiel. As we made it through, Donovan shot us a strange look—frustrated, perhaps, but also skeptical and concerned—but when he noticed us looking back, he pursed his lips, admitting defeat, and called on his entourage to follow.

Aurora seemed most concerned about this.

"I guess we're ruffling some feathers. What are the odds anyone will actually want to raid with us?"

Klein hopped off the table and stretched a bit, shooting Aurora and the rest of us a reassuring smile.

"It's true some of the smaller guilds are concerned about you guys. Fūrinkazan is a small guild, too, but the core has been together a long time, so I don't feel threatened. It may be the others won't won't to raid with you—when I send the assignments for this evening, we'll see who complaints—but you have KoB's support, and DDA doesn't seem to care one way or the other. That's two big bullets you've dodged."

He called over his shoulder, to Asuna.

"Isn't that right?"

She gaped at us for a moment, uncertain what to say. She met my gaze, and then Sachi's.

I stepped halfway between Asuna and Sachi, and Asuna understood: she opened her menu window to navigate to something.

"If nothing else, the GM's comfortable with you guys raiding with us on the floor clear—if that's agreeable to all of you, of course. I won't be there tomorrow morning, if that makes a difference."

With that, she hurried out.

#

Klein took Asuna's suggestion to heart. He assigned In Mem to a mixed raid with KoB and a smaller guild called _Kayaba Must Die_. Anyone who had that sentiment had to be all right, but in a game culture where most of the guild names were fairly serious, it was hard not to smile a bit every time I saw that name.

The four of us—Aurora, Ezekiel, Sachi, and I—were having drinks at the tavern when Klein's message came in. Ezekiel was pretty relieved with the decision.

"Heathcliff should have everybody in that group on board with us being there. That only leaves KMD people to worry about. If we give them some space, we should be fine. Best to be seen and not heard, you know. If we can do that, and make everyone think we're just buttoned-up raiders doing our jobs, that's a win in my book."

Aurora raised a skeptical eyebrow.

"Look at this guy; not five seconds after we get the word about the raid group, he's already making plans for tomorrow. Maybe I should buy you another round, Zeke."

"Another round? I don't think you ever bought me a first one."

Aurora stuck out her tongue at that, but Ezekiel stole her mug of booze out from under her while she was pouting, drawing a good laugh. Despite their opposite personalities—Ezekiel was bolder but also more private, while Aurora was more cautious despite seeking people out—-the two of them worked well together.

Still, it had been something of a surprise to see them in open disagreement, as they had been about raiding. Since the topic had come up again, Sachi asked Aurora about it:

"You've been pretty concerned about us raiding. Why is that?"

"I don't know if _concerned_ is the right word."

Aurora froze Ezekiel with a glare as she spoke, and she pulled her mug back to her side of the table, taking a short sip before she spoke again.

"I'm just trying to look out for all of us, you know? The raiding guilds aren't going to accept us overnight. People are wary of what they don't understand. Most of the people who come to us don't even understand what's going on in their own heads. I don't expect people on the outside to understand any better."

"You sound like you speak from experience."

Ezekiel and I both flinched in alarm.

"Sachi, let her be." "No, what she means is that—"

And then we stopped, awkwardly, cutting each other off. Aurora smiled slyly.

"So quick to come to a girl's defense! How charming. But that's okay, boys. Sachi has every right to ask."

She put down her mug, and she met Sachi's gaze with a sympathetic, but regretful expression.

"I do have experience with that. It's…very personal. I don't tell most people about it. I'm sorry."

Sachi nodded, casting her eyes to the table.

"No, that's my fault. It's rude of me to pry."

"It absolutely is not! We're all friends here, aren't we?"

Aurora slapped a hand on the table, trying to lighten the mood.

"No way you could know I'd be a little sensitive about that. That's why people have to ask each other things and communicate. Communication's important for people like us, right? So don't worry about it. Yes, I've been concerned, but we're going to have an opportunity, and we should take advantage of it. I haven't kept up on leveling just for fun. I like raiding. Haven't done much in this game, but now's a good time to start. What about you, Sachi? How do you feel about going tomorrow?"

Despite Sachi's episode with Asuna, Aurora had made a point to take Sachi on guild dungeon runs and the like. That Sachi was a tank might've had a little to do with it, but getting Sachi experience in groups without me, or then with me in a separate part of the zone, had been a priority. With those small steps, Sachi seemed to have adapted well—well enough to consider raiding with In Mem's blessing.

Of course, with all our attention on her, Sachi was blushing up to her ears.

"I'm feeling good, I think. I think I'm ready. I _am_ ready. Should be a good time, right?"

"It'll be an even better time with some more beer."

Aurora looked about the tavern for a server. Finding none, she put a hand out to excuse herself from the table, and she tracked down the bartender for another round. Ezekiel watched her wander out of earshot before taking me aside.

"Kirito, do you know something about Aurora? I noticed earlier—you were trying to defuse the situation, too."

I winced. Maybe I'd given him the wrong impression?

"She only gave me a little hint, really. Something about being beaten?"

"Ah, is that so? I'm surprised she said even that much."

Sachi frowned at that, and she glanced over her shoulder, at Aurora and the bar.

"What happened to her? You know, don't you, Ezekiel?"

Ezekiel let out a long sigh, and he started sloshing his drink around idly.

"I wish I didn't. Remember I said Aurora and I weren't that close originally? The truth is, I thought she was this controlling girl who had a lot of pointless rules. When we ran into each other again, after I was kicked out of DDA, she was sympathetic, but I was too bitter to accept that. What did she know about what I was going through? What had she seen to give her the gall to say she understood? That's what I thought, at the time. I berated her and abused her kindness. I think I shouted it loud enough to silence the whole bar. 'Take your patronizing looks and tears of pity and go somewhere else!' Something like that, I think. Man, I was a mess."

He glanced back at the bar, where Aurora already had two mugs filled and the NPC bartender was working on a third. With one eye on her, Ezekiel sat back in his chair. With one last shake of the head in regret, he went on:

"Anyway, that's when Aurora told me what happened to her. I made her tell me. I didn't believe she was genuine until she did. I wish I hadn't forced her to do that. I don't think she was ready for it, but what's done is done. It's not my place to say what happened to her, but I can tell you this: if Aurora seems distant at times, or cautious, it's because she has reason to be. She'll welcome people into her life from a distance, but only up to a certain point. That's a point I haven't even crossed, to be honest.

"Aurora may be worried about raiding, but she wants to believe we can do it. She may keep us all at arm's length, but she wants to believe in this guild. Me? I already believe in it. I just hope we can make it something she can put all her heart in, too. If we keep up the sense of community, of sharing burdens, then I think there's a good chance of that, but we have to be the ones to make it that way. I like to think we're getting there, though. I like to think we're doing some good, don't you think?"

To that, Sachi raised her glass for a toast.

"To In Memoriam."

Ezekiel followed the gesture. Aurora came back with the drinks and said,

"A toast? Don't mind if I do. Hope it's for a good cause."

"It's for the guild."

"Then it's definitely a good cause!"

She thrust one mug into the center without hesitation. Against that kind of solidarity, I was forced to follow suit.

After another hour at the tavern, Sachi and I headed home. It was better to get a good night's sleep; the zone-clearing raid would start bright and early. The final word that Hydralis had died came in around 21:00. That was the last hangup. The raid the next day was happening.

And the last thing we needed was to be totally sloshed before In Mem's first raid.

"I love these guys SO MUCH!"

It may have been a little late for that. I had to keep a firm grip on Sachi's hand just to keep her walking straight. Even then, I could do nothing more than suggest a direction to head toward.

"Everybody gets along SO WELL, and Aurora and Ezekiel are REALLY CUTE TOGETHER, don't you think?"

I don't think Sachi and I had ever had so much to drink together, and it was striking to see how even just the simulation of alcohol had transformed her. Usually quiet and shy, Sachi had a silly, bubbly grin plastered over her face. Her voice was a little uneven, but she didn't seem to mind that passers-by were watching us as we talked.

"I don't think they're together. They seem close, but Ezekiel treats her like a sister, I think."

"You MIGHT be right."

She seemed disproportionately unhappy with this, as that grin from before wiped off in a heartbeat. She went on, a bit softer now, saying,

"But regardless, I think they have what it takes to see things through."

"To see what through? The guild? Or whatever we're calling it?"

"Yeah. You don't think so?"

We were home, and I followed after Sachi.

"It's only been a few weeks. I think it's best not to get too attached. I _hope_ so, for them and for us, but…."

She stopped there, in the entryway, flashing me a sharp look.

"You ARE pretty cold."

That came out a little louder than Sachi intended, I think. Her cheeks flared up with embarrassment, but she looked straight at me and pouted.

"Why are you so afraid to get involved with people? Because this is a game? Do I not seem real to you, Kirito?"

No, that wasn't it at all. If it were, those puckered lips of hers wouldn't have commanded so much of my attention. Sachi wasn't the only one who'd had a little too much to drink. She seemed so _alive_ right then. I could see her chest move as she breathed. Between that, the color in her cheeks, and the fullness of her lips….

"What are you doing?"

I was stroking the back of her arm. As my fingers ran between her shoulder and elbow, her breath caught, and so did mine.

"Kirito."

My heart skipped a beat.

"What do you want?"

I pulled my hand away.

"Sorry, I didn't realize…."

She cocked her head, frowning.

"I think I'll sleep in my room tonight."

#

That was a weird night. I'd never seen Sachi react that way to anything. It wasn't the booze. I could see the clarity in her eyes. There was more strength in her than I'd believed.

People are constantly misunderstanding each other that way. So why would anyone hope for anything different?

That's why I'd started playing online games like SAO: it was accepted—even _expected_—that people would hold something back about themselves. In groups and in cities, any interactions would be held with that common understanding in place. To shed that blanket of security, of self-protection—why would anyone want to do that? Weren't we close enough as it was? I'd tried to be there for her at every step of the way. Being involved with another person, being "together"—those were words; they didn't mean anything without actions to back them up.

So why did they matter to Sachi?

Because she believed you could really come to know someone—and have a relationship with them, whether that be a friendship or something romantic or whatever—without holding anything back. I couldn't give her that; it wouldn't be real.

Perhaps that was the best reason of all, then.

I did my best not to think about all this stuff, in the hopes I could sleep, but it did little good. I was wide awake early the next morning, when three sharp knocks came from the door. I trotted out there in a hurry, and a stout, bearded man was waiting.

"Who are you?"

Embarrassingly, those were the first words out of my mouth. The answer was right in front of me. In that red and white uniform, this man could only be a member of KoB.

"My name is Godfree; I'll be leading the raid on Floor 42 that you're joining. I've come to get you for the pre-raid strategy meeting that we're holding."

"Pre-raid strategy meeting? So there's intelligence from some of the kill team about what's on the floor?"

"No, but we must be prepared and coordinated for any eventuality."

That wasn't going to be a long meeting. There was hardly anything to discuss but switch rotations and maybe a bit about terrain then.

"Fine. When is this meeting?"

"It started ten minutes ago. You're late."

"What? You're kidding!"

Godfree folded his arms and shot me a stern glare.

"It's mandated that all members of the raid be one hour early for the meeting. I know you're not a member of KoB, so some leniency is being shown, but some minimum standards must be set. If you're not present within forty-five minutes of raid time, you will be replaced."

Maybe it was necessary to have the better part of an hour to wake up a backup raider, but wasn't this a bit extreme?

"Also, I need to find another In Mem player named Sachi, too. Do you know where I could reach her?"

"I have a pretty good idea."

"Good! Save me some trouble and find her then. This is no time to sleep in and be lazy. There are bosses to kill!"

I called over my shoulder.

"Sachi! There's a man here to see us."

Godfree's eyed widened to the size of beets.

"She—she's here?!"

"Yeah."

"You live together?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Aren't you a little young for that?"

At that moment, Sachi came up behind me and peered out the door at our visitor. Her bare feet stuck on the floor, and the blue nightgown swayed around her legs.

"Isn't it a bit early? I thought the raid was in an hour."

Godfree stared at her, then back at me, then back at her.

"_You're_ Sachi? You're both—you're just kids! How is that—"

He bowed his head and rubbed his temple, mumbling to himself.

"This is a crazy game. Kids are shacking up and living together like it's no big deal. What's gone wrong with this world?"

I had to intervene here.

"The part about being trapped in this game disturbs you less than two teenagers having a house together?"

"Well, no. …but it's close!"

Thankfully, Godfree's utter confusion at the moral decay of SAO society bought Sachi and me some time to get dressed.

#

The raid gathered atop the Byzas city wall. With a wide walkway for NPC troops to stage their defense of the city (I won't even guess what they had to defend the city from), there was plenty of space for a raid group to meet. If only we had bows and arrows to aim through the gaps in the upper sections—we could've really made ourselves look like we belonged.

"All right, pay attention please, pay attention!"

That was Godfree. He stood on a raised ledge, which put him above the crowd, and beside a ten-meter drop to the next level of the wall.

"Welcome to the Floor 42 outdoor raid meeting. I'm Godfree, from KoB, and we'll be hosting this raid for our friends from the In Memoriam support group and the guild Kayaba Must Die. We at KoB are all about helping our fellow raiders find an empowering and synergistic raid environment. We feel that a serious and respectful raid environment is key to bringing about a true paradigm shift in raiding culture, one that hopefully will aid us in finding a survival strategy to clear this game."

A few KoB members hid around the corner from Godfree, out of his line of sight. They had cards out and feathered pens, which I thought unusual. There was seldom any need to write with in-game items. I couldn't make it out from a distance, but I made my way through the crowd to see what was on the cards: a series of boxes with words in them. Words like…

"While we have some new people in this raid today, I'm confident we can leverage their unique talents and abilities to make this raid a success."

_Leverage_. One of the KoB members crossed it off, forming a line of five boxes all marked through.

"Bingo!"

That was a whisper, but the excitement came through loud and clear. They were playing bingo with Godfree's speech, having a good laugh whenever he used a conspicuous buzzword or phrase. I had a pretty good idea, at this point, that Godfree must've been a manager in the real world. Ah well. At least he seemed calm enough not to scream obscenities if someone ended up punted into a pack of whelps.

No, Godfree was all business:

"In Mem and KMD will cover KoB's left and right flanks, respectively. I know it may seem like inglorious duty, but it's important in a first raid with people to establish some useful benchmarks for performance."

Godfree's phrasing could've used a little work, but his reasoning was sound. On these floor-clearing raids, the main front did most of the work. The flanking groups would just protect the rear and sides from unexpected adds. Usually, they were only expected to report and hold off any mobs until the main front arrived. It was also relatively low risk, and since it was common courtesy to divide col evenly among the participants, it could be a profitable task for not much real work.

The people who would be profiting from this raid were In Mem, of course, and KMD. The KMD crowd kept to themselves, but I recognized their guild leader, a spearwoman named Boudicca. We walked right by her on our way in, and all she did was nod. When Godfree asked if we could all cooperate in this diverse raid environment seamlessly, Boudicca had a pretty lukewarm answer.

"As long as In Mem and your people do what they need to do, KMD won't have a problem."

Ezekiel had been perfectly happy with that endorsement.

"I worried we might be viewed with skepticism for being fresh blood, but if people don't care about us as long as we do our jobs, so much the better."

One hoped so. KoB was already on our side; it certainly wouldn't hurt to make a good impression on one of the smaller guilds. They'd be more likely to call on us in the future that way.

But that was contingent on us getting along with them, too. Our first little scrape on entering the raid happened partway along the road to the Labyrinth. Aurora, Ezekiel, and Peeler had engaged a pair of Turanian Tigers:

"Where are we at? Mine first?"

The Tigers swiped at Peeler, but he beared down with his shield, absorbing the blow, and poked the left one with his spear.

"This one's for you, Aurora."

Aurora swung her mace around her body: back and left, over her head, then back and right, building up momentum for an Overhead Smash.

"HYA!"

BANG! The mace head blew out a crater in the ground, and the Tiger shuddered. It whimpered and blinked, swaying unsteadily with a stun effect.

Ezekiel clucked, shaking his head.

"What's this? Didn't finish it off?"

"Shush, Zeke. That's easily fixed."

Aurora put her right foot forward and wound into a spin, arms extended. The head of the mace blurred with speed, and—

Shink. A two-pronged dagger plunged into the Tiger's neck, shattering the beast.

"Sorry, did you guys need some help?"

The dagger's owner was girl, one with jet black hair and icy blue eyes—rather like Sachi, actually, but with her all-black attire and smug smirk, you never would've confused the two.

Peeler was quick to drag the other Tiger away from the girl.

"Ezekiel, get yours!"

"Right!"

Ezekiel turned his dagger over for a downward cut, but as soon as he maneuvered for the kill—

TING, TING, TING! A silvery greatsword sliced through the Tiger in three distinct cuts: one across the body went perpendicular to the stripes, one upward cut gashed the Tiger's neck, and one downward slash chopped the Tiger in two. The halves separated and disintegrated, and the swordsman—a tall, athletically built man—turned his wrist over to sheathe his sword in one fluid motion.

"Get anything good?"

That was the girl. Her companion studied the loot window and said gruffly,

"Nothing."

"Figures."

Ezekiel fumed, and he stormed up to the two of them, dagger in hand.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing, barging in on our mobs like that? You guys here to steal our kills? Is that it? Go back to KMD's side of the raid. We're good here."

The girl tossed her dagger into the air and caught it nonchalantly.

"Dunno what you're talking about. Looked like you guys needed help to me."

Aurora scoffed.

"Your idea of help is taking our XP and col?"

"Whoever gets the last hit gets it. Isn't that right?"

The girl was talking to her companion, who held his sword in one hand. His response was particularly glib:

"It's all fair."

Ezekiel narrowed his eyes.

"We'll see what KoB has to say about that."

"Oh really?"

The girl rolled her eyes.

"KoB's not going to do a damn thing. You guys aren't regular raiders."

I think you can see why I've been unhappy with the raid group's mentality at times. Well, maybe people like that wouldn't respect us yet, but we could still make a good impression by doing our jobs well, and the time to prove ourselves was coming.

Thankfully, we didn't have any more problems on the way to the Labyrinth, and from there, we got a bit of a break. Most of those areas had already been cleared, so we only had to deal with a few scattered spawns that were no challenge to a full raid. We saw a bit of the boss room, and I could imagine Hydralis bursting from its glass tank and snapping with each of its heads at the raid. I would've liked to be a part of that fight, but Labyrinth bosses in SAO didn't respawn. Once they died, they died for good, just like us.

At the far end of the room was the stair to Floor 42. A scent of fresh air wafted in through the gap, and we followed it into daylight. The setting was a lush, arctic forest, with snow-capped mountains in the distance, but the immediate area was green and snow-free.

"It looks peaceful here."

That was Sachi, who shaded her eyes with her hand to gaze into the distance.

"I think I can see a fjord way out there. Can you believe it?"

I nodded. You could never accuse Kayaba of skimping on the world and its content. I guess he thought we'd go stir-crazy if we had to stay pent up with nowhere to go. It wasn't perfect, of course. At short distances, it was easier to notice the pixellation of objects or textures, but after a while, you got used to it, and I said as much.

"Hard to believe this is all a fake world sometimes, huh."

"You think that's what he wanted—to make the game feel real?"

With the innovation of virtual reality, I'm sure that was part of it. Was the world more real because death was permanent? Perhaps it was. Or, I guess that made SAO more like the real world because of that.

Whatever Kayaba's intentions, it was our destiny to keep fighting him and to push toward clearing this game. The world he had so painstakingly built and designed had to be left behind, and making our way through the arctic forest was part of that goal.

Godfree led the raid through a pre-cleared path—one deemed safe by a raid group slightly ahead of us—up until a fork in the road.

"The other group went right, so we'll head left and see who makes it to town first. That, ladies and gentlemen, is the power of parallel workflow."

Parallel workflow was a dead end for us, as we soon met the end of the road, and Godfree ordered us to turn back and pursue some other side branches and paths. That was fine; where exactly we were going had no impact on our job. The six of us—Aurora, Ezekiel, Sachi, the bare-fisted bruiser Kali, our third forward-tank Peeler, and I—were off the road watching for mobs from the woods. It was slower going there since we didn't have the benefit of a level road to walk on. We had to work our way around mossy rocks and thick tree trunks, but all that did was slow down the group's progress through the zone a little.

There wasn't anything serious to worry about until we ran into the Deer herd.

Now, I know what you're thinking: of all the dangerous and vicious mobs in SAO, I'm telling you what scared me was a bunch of deer? Well, no, they didn't scare me at first. At first, it was just one Deer crossing the road that charged at Godfree and made our intrepid raid leader flail with his sword. The KoB forwards quickly dispatched of the Deer, but already, there was some concern.

"Have you ever seen that before?"

That was Ezekiel.

"A deer that aggros on proximity? That's not supposed to happen."

We were all thinking it. Deer were usually non-aggressive mobs. They would attack you if you attacked first, or if you persisted in invading their space, but otherwise, they almost always left passing players alone. Something was amiss, and the subsequent cry that went through the raid confirmed it.

"Halt, halt! We've got debuffs here!"

That, too, was unusual. Other games might've had fights where you could end up putting over forty debuffs on a single boss, but SAO was rather frugal with buffs and debuffs. There were no buffing classes of any kind, and the interface for debuffs was boiled down into common debilitating effects (poison, paralysis, other DoTs, and so on) and special, unique ones. With so much emphasis on executing skills and maneuvering, SAO just didn't need a huge array of status effects.

But what was this that had slowed our raid to a halt? I couldn't see well through the trees, but it looked curable. Godfree and his forwards shared a couple crystals between them, and the raid started moving again. Word filtered in from the front:

"Get your Antidote Crystals ready."

Sachi replaced a red crystal on her belt with a green one instead. And we would need it, for another cry came from the front.

"They're coming! Get ready!"

A herd of Deer gathered down the road, and Godfree's main KoB force engaged them. The forwards were unusually timid, though, deferring to people with one-handed spears, people with reach. Was the debuff from these Deer that dangerous? Were they that short on Antidote Crystals?

I had to find out. Our side of the raid's formation may have been clear for the moment, but more of these mobs could come out of the forest at any time. I gave my advice to Ezekiel:

"We need more information about what's going on up front."

"Right. Sachi, Kali, Kirito, come with me. Peeler, you stay with Aurora. Got it?"

The three of us followed Ezekiel's lead, returning to the road. The KoB parties had encircled about a dozen of mobs, but these weren't ordinary Deer. Their eyes glowed red, and each one frothed at the mouth, biting and snapping at anyone who tried to strike them. Their fur was disheveled and missing patches.

"Rabid Deer? Oh, no, no, no."

Ezekiel sighed and pressed two fingers to his forehead.

"I'm pretty sure rabid Deer don't hunt in packs."

"It looks like they do here."

That was Kali, who peered around the crowd with a gruff, disinterested expression. Ezekiel didn't seem to see her logic, though.

"But I'm saying they don't in real life. Deer don't hunt, and they don't even like meat. If I run into a rabid deer, it's probably just _one_ rabid deer, not a whole herd of them!"

"Maybe we should submit that as a bug report, right next to not having a logout button and suffering permanent brain death when we die in-game."

Kali's sarcasm aside, whether Rabid Deer liked to hunt in packs or not, KoB was handling them. There wasn't much for us to help out with or take care of there.

Or so I thought, until—

"Help! We need help here!"

One of the other raiders—one of the KMD people, given the stark, all-black executioner uniform—came running out of the forest, panting and wheezing, but he caught his breath long enough to finish his thought.

"We've got adds from the east!"

I drew my sword, and the four of us double-timed it into the woods on the opposite side of the dirt road. The ground was soft and gave easily under our feet, but when it slowed us down, we just kicked up mud behind us.

The KMD parties had run across a half-dozen more Rabid Deer, and their situation wasn't nearly as well-secured as KoB's. The Rabid Deer had penetrated the defensive line, each engaging two or three players in a chaotic melee.

Ezekiel set his sights on the closest mob and gave the word.

"Sachi, engage it first! Then Kirito can switch in."

"Okay!"

Sachi barged into the fray shield-first. Her legs blurred beneath her, and she knocked down a Rabid Doe. The KDM players fled as Sachi took the forward position. The Doe climbed to its feet and snapped at Sachi, thrusting its jagged teeth and spreading a frothy foam of saliva with each lunging attack. The Doe couldn't crane its neck around Sachi's shield, nor could it batter or kick its way through the metal barrier.

Sachi was cautious, refusing to strike with the Doe so close and frantic. With both sides frustrated, the Rabid Doe paced away, backing off. That was odd. It wasn't low on health, so why was it running? Unless…

"Sachi, don't let it get any distance!"

"Right!"

Sachi chased after the mob, but the Doe turned it back and fled at speed. It circled around, and with red in it eyes, it charged at Sachi like a missile. I couldn't help but shout:

"Get down!"

With her shield as protection, Sachi crouched to one knee and braced herself. She gritted her teeth and wrapped her fist tight around the hilt of her sword.

WHAM!

The Doe and Sachi collided. Two hooves pounded on the shield, but Sachi only dug her heels with the blows. With Sachi low to the ground but firm, the Doe couldn't bowl her over. The Doe's legs bent awkwardly as the hooves found no traction, and it tumbled, landing on it side. With legs flailing and jaw snapping, it was dangerous just to approach, but Sachi did more than that. She plunged her sword into the Doe's body with a stabbing strike, but her offense wasn't really meant for this task. She glanced over her shoulder, still holding her shield high to cover most of her chest.

"Ready to switch?"

I swooped in, sword in hand, and she backed away as I hacked and cut at the fallen Doe, but the thing was monstrously durable: my sword was like a toothpick, taking off 5% here, 6% there. The beast had Rabies, but it wasn't acting like a sickly, debilitated creature. It was acting stronger and tougher than any Deer I'd ever seen! What unrealistic game design!

"Kirito, can you keep it busy for a second?"

That was Ezekiel, who drew his dagger and held it sideways.

"Yeah, I got it. Get into position."

Ezekiel circled the Doe while it rose and kicked at me. I focused my efforts on dodging rather than trying to kill the beast. Still, one bite caught the edge of my coat and snagged it, ripping a piece off. This Deer was going to be murder on my repair bill!

"Anytime now, Ezekiel!"

He put a finger to his lips circled around, behind the trees and out of the Doe's sight. He tip-toed to the Doe's rear, crouched behind it, and raised his dagger to strike.

"HYAA!"

He slashed at the Doe's throat, and the last 20% of the Doe's health disappeared. It vanished into particles and light.

"That was good!"

Sachi removed a glove and wiped some sweat from her forehead.

"But what are we going to do about all the others? They have too much health, don't you think?"

She had a good point. There were far too many Deer to take on like that. If the KoB group at the front didn't get through with their mobs in a hurry, we could end up overrun.

Ezekiel frowned, and he tapped one of the trees with the flat side of his dagger.

"Kirito, what do you think?"

Ah, that was a good idea. If we couldn't do enough damage to the Deer ourselves, we could manipulate the environment to do it for us.

We tracked down the next-nearest mob—this one, a Rabid Stag—and put our plan into action. Sachi relieved a KMD forward, keeping the Stag busy while nimble Kali beat it down. In the meantime, Ezekiel and I went to work on the tree. Ezekiel stood by and provided cover while I chopped down one of the thick arctic firs. Sachi dragged the Deer into position, just in time for the tree trunk to smash it into the ground.

"Timber!"

The falling trunk took off only half of the Stag's health, but it kept the Stag pinned and bleeding. For the moment, we diverted our attention to the rest of the herd. Ezekiel directed traffic for the plan:

"Out of the way! We need as much of this area clear as possible!"

The four of us came up on another small skirmish with two Deer against a pair of KMD forwards. One of them was clearly outmatched: he didn't have a shield, and one of the crystal slots on his belt sat empty, surrounded only by red Healing Crystals. Sachi saw the same thing.

"I've still got an Antidote Crystal; I'll switch in for you!"

The first KMD forward gladly gave up his position, but the second was just a little incredulous.

"You're going to bring down a tree on these Deer? Isn't that dangerous? What if we end up pinned?"

Ezekiel did his best to explain the strategy.

"Just bring the Deer as close as you can to the tree; that means you won't have to drag them nearly as far once we know exactly how the tree's falling. If somehow you get hurt, we'll cut you out. We've done this before, and it's worked. Just do it!"

The KMD forward looked ill at the thought, but he nodded reluctantly.

"All right, fine, get it over with! This thing is freaking me out!"

With all that slobber coming off the Stag's mouth, I could agree with that.

When Sachi and the other KMD forward had their mobs roughly in a line, I hacked away at the nearest tree. It took four good Horizontals to bring it down, and I tried to carefully line up each slash, but every time I tried to do a practice swing, the system assist kicked in and yanked my arm out of my control, performing the full Horizontal cut. It was like getting your arm caught in the door of a bullet train.

"Something wrong, Kirito?"

Ezekiel checked over his shoulder, but the best I could do was shrug feebly.

"Just fighting the game a bit."

I did one more cut, but the gashes weren't quite lined up. As such, the tree fell at a slight angle away from Sachi and the other forward. Ezekiel noticed this, too.

"Walk it around! Easy now!"

Sachi backpedaled under the shadow of the tree, but the KMD forward looked up, saw the trunk coming down straight over his head, and bolted.

WHAM!

The tree smashed one of the Deer, but the other followed the KMD forward to safety. The frightened forward lost sight of his quarry, and because of that, the mob ended up engaged with no one. It went after the nearest target of opportunity: Ezekiel.

"It's loose! Get out of the way!"

I shouted at him, but Ezekiel couldn't dodge that Deer's charge. It slammed him into another tree; its antlers ran through Ezekiel's body, pinning him between the Deer's frothing mouth and the unmoving trunk.

"Hold still; I've got it!"

That was Kali, nimble and quick, who came to Ezekiel's rescue first. She darted around the Deer's frantic kicks as it tried to dislodge itself. Kali pressed three of her fingers together, and with a brilliant yellow glow, her hand drove into the Deer's flesh.

KA-PISH!

Yellow damage particles exploded from the wound, and the Deer made a sickened gurgling noise. It struggled to get free all the more, kicking at the dirt and screaming right in Ezekiel's ear. He turned his head aside and clawed for grip, but there was nothing he could do. The antlers were still holding him to the trunk.

"Get this damn thing off me! Hit it with that again!"

"It's got a cooldown!"

"Then hit it with something else!"

Ezekiel fumbled for his dagger, and he chopped at one of the antlers with frenzied, machine-like cuts. Kali circled around the Deer, trying to find another opening, but these desperate slashes and chops from Ezekiel limited her angles.

"Hold still! I'm gonna try to kick it loose!"

She backed up two steps and dashed at the Deer, unleashing a backflip kick to the Deer's gut. One of the Deer's antlers snapped off, disintegrating, but this gave the Deer more range of motion, enough to sink its teeth in Ezekiel's neck.

"AGH!"

And his health was dropping too, as he took continuous damage from the antler still sticking through his torso, the bite on his neck, and the debuff that bite had applied. Ezekiel's health fell below 40%, then 35%, then 30%…

"For the love of—will you get this thing off of me?"

Ezekiel gritted his teeth and stabbed the Deer's shoulder. He yanked the blade free, turned it in hand for a downward cut, and drove the edge along the Deer's stomach.

"Hey!"

And through Kali's leg, too.

"Watch it, ya damn moron!"

"Well, I'm sorry! If you had this thing biting into your shoulder, you'd stab it, too!"

Ezekiel and the Deer tangled in a flurry of metal and teeth, yet Kali stood her ground. She came up on the Deer's side and kneed it in the gut. The Deer's body rose, and Kali slammed it back into the ground with the bottom of a closed fist. This Hammerfist Strike broke the Deer's back, tearing it open with electric red sparks, and it shattered soon after.

"Thank goodness!"

Slumping at the base of the tree, Ezekiel sheathed his dagger with a groan and sipped on a potion.

"Gimme a swig of that when you're done, would ya?"

Kali wrung out her fingers and fell gingerly; with her body covered in damage marks, she looked worse off than she really was. She was still at 80% health, but the visible wounds lingered. Ezekiel handed her the potion and wafted some of the damage particles away.

"Sorry, Kali. You all right?"

She shrugged.

"Just a little friendly fire. Let me handle next time, all right?"

"Yes, ma'am!"

Sachi came up to me, watching Ezekiel and Kali with a warm smile.

"Nice to find a guild that doesn't punish people harshly for their mistakes, isn't it?"

Quite right. A real hardcore guild might've gotten on Ezekiel's case for wounding Kali. It felt good to see Kali let it go so quickly.

Actually, it felt great just to get a win there: to fight off some serious mobs in a raid with Sachi, with In Memoriam—it meant we were really accomplishing something.

"Let's go back and find Aurora and Peeler, yeah?"

Ezekiel said that, rising from the base of the tree, and he pulled Kali up after him. The four of us went together, heading back for the road and the other side of the raid formation.

"Good hunting for the rest of the raid!"

Sachi said that to a couple KMD forwards we left behind. They nodded, watching us go.

They didn't say anything. They only watched us go.

#

The rest of the raid was uneventful, and the group broke up once we made the outskirts of a town called _Strjonar_. Godfree tried to corral people for a closing speech on how raid synergy and cooperation had brought us success in the raid, but no one seemed enthusiastic about that.

Instead, with the raid over, the six of us from In Mem headed to the water. Strjonar sat at the base of a steep hill. Overgrown with trees and moss-covered huts, it was a picture of a subarctic village, like what you'd find in the northernmost reaches of Hokkaidō.

"Hey, you think we can go canoeing?"

The shore at Strjonar was a small, rocky coastline buffered from the rest of town by flat, grass-covered terrain. The teleport gate was on the shoreline clearing, and the six of us walked along the coast there. With boats and canoes tied up along the shore, there might've been a quest or fishing event out on the water.

Aurora took to that idea.

"Let's see if we can find an NPC to rent some canoes from. In Mem's just had a successful raid; it wouldn't be a crime to treat ourselves. Who knows what'll be out there, right?"

And to think she'd been so standoffish about raiding just a day before.

Well, I was content to just relax for the rest of the day. No doubt we'd have a big party in the evening to celebrate with the rest of the guild. I didn't mind if we went out on the water or not, so I left the task of finding the NPC owners to Aurora, Peeler, and Sachi. Kali sat along the water with her feet on the rocks. Ezekiel went to talk to some NPCs about the Labyrinth boss.

So I was alone, then, when _she_ came to find me.

"I like your new friends, Kii-bō."

The hooded figure stood in the shadow of a shed. She hunched over slightly, avoiding a life ring that was hanging on the shed's outer wall, and only that gesture revealed strands of her reddish-brown hair, or the fake whiskers painted on her cheek.

"You got here quickly."

She sniffed at that.

"If you want information about the highest floor, best to be there as soon as the raiding guilds unlock the town. Otherwise I wouldn't be able to stay in business."

"So you want to know what we've found out since we arrived? That's forward of you."

"Not at all. I know you know nothing."

"Oh really? I think I should be offended!"

Argo the Rat pulled her hood back, and she locked her eyes on me: cold, unwavering eyes.

"Kii-bō, do you like your new friends?"

I glanced down the shoreline. Sachi and Aurora skipped stones on the water, laughing about something I couldn't hear.

"They're all right. They mean well. Why do you ask?"

She opened her interface menu and materialized a newspaper, which she handed to me. It was her newsletter, the _Weekly Argo_. Argo was quick to point out something:

"This is just a draft. I owe it as a courtesy to get all sides of a story before I send it out in print."

What story could that be? I scanned the headlines: "Raiding guilds clear Floor 41," "KoB moves headquarters in 12 million col purchase,"—all pretty typical news and gossip.

That was, until I saw the bottom of the front page:

"Support group officer suffers breakdown in friendly-fire incident."

My eyes flashed, and I turned the paper back on Argo.

"What is this? Who told you about this?"

She touched a pinky to her lips, thinking.

"Well, let's see, we didn't discuss confidentiality fees—"

"Argo…."

"The Kayaba Must Die guild, Kii-bō. To a man, they're saying Ezekiel had a bad reaction to being trapped. It's well-known that Ezekiel was involved in a similar situation before, from his time in DDA."

"But that's not what happened! Kali is fine. We're all fine. Ezekiel is walking around town looking for hints about the next boss. There's nothing wrong with him, nothing wrong with _us_!"

She smiled sympathetically.

"I believe that, but people—I fear people in general will not."

No, people in general would look at us with the same eyes those KMD forwards had when we left them—wary, suspicious, even a little afraid.

Argo touched her interface window, and the newspaper dematerialized from my hand.

"I won't publish such a one-sided story, but I don't think I can avoid mentioning it at all. Already, KMD players are saying they're not sure they want to group with you again. And it _was_ a friendly-fire incident, Kii-bō. People have died from those."

She couldn't keep it quiet, even with Ezekiel's side of the story. I understood that, but that didn't mean the rest of the guild would take it well. I rounded up the others to tell them what Argo had heard, and Kali probably said it best:

"That's bullshit."

She kicked at the water, making a splash, and she shook her head with tight, bitter lips.

"That's total bullshit. I'm the one who took the hit. I'm fine. It wasn't that big of a deal. You'd have to be crazy to think differently."

Scowling, she turned to Argo.

"Can't you make this lie go away? You're an information broker. Go get the truth."

Argo shrugged.

"Your word against theirs. But, maybe you could get them to change their tune? I know where you could find them."

I narrowed my eyes.

"How much is that going to cost us?"

"Please. For the pursuit of the truth, that information is free."

She looked to Aurora and bowed magnanimously.

"But only if In Memoriam's fearless leader accepts it, of course."

Aurora cocked an eyebrow at Argo, and she cast her gaze over the water with narrowed eyes.

"Let it go, guys. We did our part. Let's not let rumor and gossip get us down."

Peeler shook his head and sipped from a flask.

"That won't matter one bit when people think we failed the raid."

Sachi nodded.

"I'm with Peeler. We need to go to KMD and explain our side of it. This isn't fair to us."

Aurora looked to me, but all I could do was shrug. At that, Aurora sighed, muttering to herself.

"This isn't a good idea…."

#

Nevertheless, we headed up the slope, into the main part of town. We sent a message to Ezekiel and followed Argo's intelligence to the town smithy—a small building made of rough, irregularly shaped stones and with a small garden growing on the roof, of all places.

"So the best place to look for ores is by the glacier?"

That was Boudicca, talking to an NPC blacksmith. He nodded, his beard shaking as he spoke.

"That's right. Not many of us go too close to the ice this time of year, but if you're adventurous, you might be able to get at some veins that aren't usually exposed."

One of the KMD players looked down the road and met our gaze. He tapped his mace handle on the cobblestones.

"Bou, company."

At that, Boudicca trotted up the steps, away from the smithy, and stood at the front of her group.

"Something you want?"

"Yeah, something all right."

That was Ezekiel, and he marched right up to Boudicca, even as her guildmates drew their weapons to defend her.

"Relax."

Boudicca held up a hand, warding them off.

"Everybody relax. This is an Area; I'm sure there's no cause to be concerned."

She shot Ezekiel a sharp look.

"Or is there?"

"You tell me. Your guild is the one spreading lies about what happened in the raid."

Boudicca opened her mouth to speak, but her eyes wandered to Argo, who had a feather pen and a piece of parchment in hand. Argo, for her part, smiled sunnily and kept writing.

"Oh, don't mind me. I'm just putting those hours in Journalism Club to use. Please, continue."

Still eyeing Argo, Boudicca cleared her throat, and she refocused on Ezekiel.

"Look, I talked to five different people. They all said you cut the martial artist over there pretty deep."

"It was a miscommunication!"

Ezekiel paced around Boudicca, fuming.

"I did _not_ have an episode! Anyone who characterizes it that way is deliberately exaggerating the facts!"

Boudicca raised both her eyebrows.

"Come now, Ezekiel. I've seen you raid with DDA before. You may be a little hot-headed, but you know how to execute. By all accounts, you weren't level at all today. You made a serious error. I know this is damaging to you all, but as far as I could tell, this is the truth. This is what happened. I'm not going to tell my people to be silent about it."

Ezekiel gawked at her.

"So to hell with us, then? To hell with us trying to raid, is that it?"

"You'll raid when the raiding guilds are ready for you to raid with them. That's nothing new. Pretty sure Gordok had the same problem with his guild, but now, nobody cares that he's twelve and leading a guild. He did a good job, and people got over it."

"And until people get over us, we just sit here flapping in the wind."

"Life's tough sometimes."

"Even though we're doing good work for the raiding community, good work for clearing the game?"

Boudicca shrugged.

"Maybe you are? Look, I'm just concerned with clearing the game. I don't think we have time to go pursuing some social agenda. Either you're ready to raid, or you're not. That's all people should judge you on, so just go play the game."

She looked to her guildmates and twitched her head, and using her spear like a walking stick, Boudicca headed down the road, toward the glacier in the distance. Ezekiel came back to us, shaking his head. Argo, too, pursed her lips, and she put her parchment and feather pen away. Sachi was the first to break the silence.

"That's awfully naïve of her, if she thinks people won't look on us negatively just for who we are."

"It's more than that: it's willful ignorance."

Aurora scraped her boot sole on the cobblestone road, looking like she needed to spit something out.

"It's whatever paper-thin excuse she can pretend to believe to get us off her back and not make us her problem. People like her? They're more dangerous than obvious trolls like Donovan. They think it's right to sit in the middle and do nothing, like they can say nobody's right and nobody's wrong."

She scoffed, shaking her head.

"There's no fighting that, guys. You'd have better luck getting that glacier to move."

With that, Aurora turned about, heading down the cobblestone road to the center of town. Whatever small hope Aurora had come to believe in, hope for our guild to play as equals, it died that day.

It shattered like broken sword, and like all broken things in this game, we weren't even left pieces to pick up and put back together.

* * *

_Auld Lang Syne_ updates every two weeks, so look forward to the next chapter on Saturday, October 4, 2014, at 1 PM EDT (10 AM PDT), after the official stream of SAO II Episode 14.

Next time: "Strjonar." Kirito and Asuna work to convince the raiding community that In Mem can be trusted in a raid again, but their greatest opponent, more than any hostile guild, is Aurora.

For notes and commentary on this chapter and others, check out the _Auld Lang Syne_ thread on Sufficient Velocity, linked from my user profile.


	5. Strjonar

**Strjonar**  
_Aincrad Floor 42 - October 14, 2023_

It's rarely a good thing when a guild needs to have a guild meeting.

Some guilds have regular meetings, but in a conventional game, the usefulness of such meetings is really limited for routine affairs. Such matters are better dealt with on forums. You can't guarantee everyone in the guild (or even most people) will be around at a particular time, especially if you have an established raid or event schedule. Chances are that's already as much as everyone can attend; anything else just wouldn't fit.

Even if you can get most or all of the guild together, it's rare that people want to speak their mind. Most guilds have only a handful of people who actually speak on voice chat regularly. Everyone else tends to stay quiet. So realistically, you probably get a couple voices you've already heard, and everyone else is just along for the ride.

Not all of these observations carried over to SAO. It's a lot easier to engage a crowd of people when you can look them in the eye. Since we were all trapped in the game, people had nowhere else to be. The bigger guilds tended to hold more meetings because they could have hundreds of unique members, and the lack of out-of-game forums meant there were few other ways to get information out. Some guilds ran their own newspapers for exactly this reason.

But for a smaller guild, or an "unofficial guild" like In Memoriam, where people were in close contact with the leader on a daily basis, a guild meeting could only mean something was very, very wrong.

#

Thanks to KMD's misrepresentation of the facts, most of the raiding guilds had begun turning In Mem away. When a raid was put together to take on the field boss, In Mem was totally shut out—and no one else seemed to have a problem with this. In the words of DDA's guild master, Lind,

"Look, if you guys are going to go crazy and cut people up when you get in combat, no thanks, we don't want you. Shouldn't you be out crying or something?"

After almost a week of treatment like that, the guild had grown restless. There were serious concerns that In Mem would be shut out of the Labyrinth boss on this floor, too.

So Aurora had convened this meeting, renting out the Vantage Point Tavern in Strjonar. The scenic location had done little for turnout, though, as half the tables in the tavern sat empty.

"The other guilds are basically saying, 'You stay away from In Mem, or you're out of here.' "

That was Kali, who sat on the far side of our table, drumming her fingers. I asked her,

"Someone told you that?"

She shrugged.

"No, but it's gotta be true. If they're gonna ban us from raiding, why not destroy us altogether?"

Sachi, who sat next to me, sighed at that.

"When we weren't raiding, we were helping people cope with loss. One accident is no good reason to shut us down completely."

The fourth member of our table, the computer programmer Collmenter, sat back and frowned, stroking his chin.

"We're still new to the raiding community. They don't view us as having value yet. It's easier just to cut us loose."

"What are we supposed to do then?"

Sachi looked at each of us around the table in turn, pleading for an answer.

"If no one will accept us as members in a raid, then what? Are we meant to just be cast aside, so no one has to deal with us?"

The table went quiet. No one had a good answer to that. All we could do was hope that Aurora could figure out some way to make it all right again.

Luckily, it wasn't long for our guild leader to make her appearance. Poised and composed, Aurora strolled downstairs with a wan smile—the kind that tries to convince you of happiness but can't quite do it. Ezekiel was backing her up, but he just looked ill about the whole thing. Maybe that's why Aurora did most of the talking.

"Sorry for the wait, everyone. I'm just getting back from talking with some contacts in the raiding community. Let's get right down to it, then. I know some people are concerned about their ability to raid."

" 'Ability to raid'?"

The voice popped up from the front of the room. It was one of the Gemini twins, the older brother Castor. With a mug of ale in one hand and a drumstick in the other, he took up two chairs as he lay relaxed and stuffed, but that lethargic pose didn't blunt his criticism.

"I had someone from one of the other guilds laugh in my face when I asked about tagging along, and I'm in KoB! They said, 'Shouldn't you be freaking out about something? The clock tower's going to ring soon. Try not to stab someone if it frightens you.' We're being ridiculed. No one will party with any of us, all because Ezekiel lost his cool in a serious raid!"

Ezekiel sighed, putting a hand to his forehead, but Aurora glared at Castor, and she put her hands on her hips to punctuate her displeasure.

"What's the rule? Either we're in this together or we're not. We're supposed to understand each other and support each other, not cast others out. When you single someone out, are you really any better than the people who are badmouthing us?"

Castor put his mug down and showed his palms to Aurora, giving the floor back to her. Clearly, he wasn't happy with Aurora's answer, but she'd left him no room to argue.

Aurora took a deep breath and continued.

"Look, the mission of the guild is to help people. As much as any of us would like to prove to the raiding guilds that we are more than just the horrors we've dealt with—that continue to haunt us—there is a time and a place to make such a statement. After much consideration, I think now is not that time. I think our purpose of trying to help people is better served by withdrawing from raiding as a guild function. That way, the raiding guilds will feel free to send people who need help our way, and anyone from here who wants to raid can apply to do so in the same way as any solo player."

Kali called out from our table.

"So In Mem has no plans to raid as a guild in the future?"

Aurora shook her head.

"Not at this time, no."

A few unnerved murmurs went through the room. From his seat, which he'd turned to face forward, Collmenter addressed Aurora.

"That's not smart. No guild wants to send people our way. If we hole up to ourselves and just try to stick it out…"

Collmenter lobbed a roll of bread on a high arc, and when it hit the floor, it broke into pixellated shards of light.

"We'll end up just like that: shattered and spent."

Aurora scoffed, breaking into a grin of disbelief.

"Guys, let's not go overboard with theatrics here. I know people are concerned, but think about the reality of the situation for a second."

The grin faded away, leaving all the desolation of a Siberian winter behind on Aurora's face.

"If we try to raid as a guild, we will only be targets for people's hatred and derision. It's not just, it's not fair, and that's something I want to fight sometime, someday."

Aurora beat her fist on her chest twice, but as her words hung in the air, she opened her hand, dropping it to her side.

"But not today. I would rather concede defeat on this front for now than make any of you targets for discrimination and prejudice. I understand your frustration, but this decision is final."

Just in case we had any illusions about having a debate.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, Ezekiel and I have some more issues to discuss. Please, feel free to eat and drink as much as you like. It's all paid for. Thanks."

With that, Aurora bowed and headed upstairs, but Ezekiel lingered for a bit at the stairwell.

"Ezekiel, hey!"

That was Kali, who motioned for him to come over to our table. He winced as he got closer.

"Hey, guys. Sorry that this is coming out so suddenly. I worked on her as long as I could, but she's set on this, and—well, I don't know that she's wrong. Maybe it is better to lay low for a while. She's just, you know, taking this pretty hard."

"But why is that? She fought like hell to get someone like me in this guild. Now she's losing her nerve? What's the deal?"

"I can't explain it. I'm sorry. I really can't."

With that, he bowed apologetically, and he headed upstairs, after Aurora.

Once the news sank in, the consensus downstairs, away from Aurora and Ezekiel, wasn't pretty:

"She's really overreacting."

That was Sachi's opinion, and I was forced to agree. Aurora had put on that air of having considered the possibilities and come to a reasoned decision, but that was all it was: an air, a fantasy.

Even Kali thought Aurora's behavior baffling.

"I'm the one who got cut up over all this, and I still want to raid. Does she think there's going to be a witchhunt for us? Does she think the raiding guilds are going to come door-to-door and drag us into the streets? We're nowhere near that. We can fight this."

Kali's gaze turned to me.

"Kirito, you know some people in KoB, right?"

I made a face at that, but Kali shot me a stern look.

"Come on. What's the harm in asking them if they'd back us up again? This guild was partly their idea. Maybe they can figure out a way to get everyone to knock off this stupidity about us."

Well, the problem was that I had an unpopular opinion on Aurora's ideas.

"I'm not sure she's that wrong. If people want to stay here to get help, they can do that, right? They should stay as long as they need help from this group, and when they're healed enough, they can go back to their guilds and try to raid."

Sachi put down her mug and stared, but when I looked back, her eyes flickered away from me. Collmenter spoke instead.

"That's a good way to build a revolving door, not a solid foundation."

"Somebody will still be here."

At that, Sachi pushed herself away from the table. Her chair dragged against the floor, but she paid it no attention. She put a hand on my shoulder, leaned over the table, and said to the others,

"Sorry, Kirito and I just need to talk for a minute. Make sure they bring out our food, okay?"

Kali nodded.

"Thanks so much."

Sachi circled around the table and made for the tavern door. I followed her to the street. I didn't like walking about Strjonar. The roads were uneven, with angled slabs of stone that never lined up quite right. The architecture was some kind of European—Nordic, I guess?—with steep roofs that presented sheer fronts to most buildings. It must've been good for shedding snow in a blizzard, but building after building like that gave me a sense of vertigo.

When Sachi stopped just two steps out the tavern door, that didn't help, either. I was off balance on the uneven road, and her disbelieving glare only added to that.

"Do you want to be here, Kirito?"

I _really_ didn't expect that, and I said as much.

"What?"

"I don't mind that we're still figuring things out between us. I mean, I _mind_, but I don't mind that much, compared to this. These are good people. They don't deserve to be kept on the outside of things."

"I didn't say they did."

"But you're willing to leave them behind, to fend for themselves. You don't talk like you're a part of this group. You say somebody will still be here, but not _we_ will still be here."

I shrugged.

"Maybe we won't be. Aurora's right: it's going to be hard to raid with this guild if the raiding community feel this way. Maybe it's time to go. You want to raid, don't you?"

"I don't care about that."

I gaped at her. Wasn't that the whole reason we asked Asuna for a tryout and got tangled up in this mess, then?

"I mean, I _care_ about that, but you tell me: what do you think is important? Killing a boss? Or reaching out to people in despair?"

She extended her arm to the tavern door, gesturing to everyone inside.

"For me, that's simple. Showing people a path to standing up on their own two feet again—that matters. You can't tell me you're willing to just walk away from here. I've seen you with Ezekiel, talking shop about boss fights. Are you saying you didn't enjoy that?"

I bowed my head and shook it.

"No, you don't understand. I may have enjoyed it at the time, but it's temporary, Sachi. All these things are temporary. We hardly know these people."

I jerked my head to second floor window.

"Aurora most of all—we know nothing about her really. She keeps secrets and doesn't even bother to hide it."

Sachi frowned.

"So what? That doesn't make her any less of a friend."

"No, Sachi. Keeping secrets like that, even if it's the only way to get close to people, only hurts them in the end. It hurts them, or it gets them killed."

Her eyes widened a bit.

"So this isn't about In Mem. This is about us, about Black Cats."

She closed her eyes, taking a breath, and then fixed her gaze on me with a compassionate smile.

"Kirito, you weren't wrong to join us. You were wrong to be _afraid_ of us. I know you want to find comfort and solace in other people. I've seen it; I've felt it! Don't be afraid of these people."

She stepped toward me and put her lips together, planting a chaste kiss on my cheek.

"It's okay if you forget about me. I'll be all right. But don't be afraid of this guild. Let it go, for your own sake."

With that, she pulled away from me, and she headed back inside the tavern, shooting me only one last look over her shoulder.

What a joke that was. Don't be afraid? I wasn't afraid! I wasn't! Fear had nothing to do with it. Everything I'd said was reality, a reality Sachi should've understood, having witnessed it first-hand. Aurora couldn't start this guild and help people without holding a little something of herself back—something she was afraid to reveal, something she might've been ashamed of.

And that meant she was unhappy and cold inside. I'd seen that in the tavern in Alkuds. Holding that in, keeping her distance from the rest of the guild, meant that no one really understood where she was coming from—no one but Ezekiel, and it seemed she'd stopped listening to him, too.

With Aurora refusing to have In Mem push for equality, the roster would surely shrink. The guild would wither and die if the raiding guilds didn't at least _tolerate_ its presence without skepticism or stigma.

And it _was_ in my power to change that, like Kali said.

I didn't have to get involved with the rest of the guild to do it, either. If Sachi wanted to stay and derive hope from that community, that was her choice. I'd just be helping for a bit, and that was all.

I sent a message to Heathcliff, explaining the situation and Aurora's state of mind. The response was direct and immediate:

"Paname, 13:00, Café Panis."

#

KoB's new headquarters was, like their last one, a church. It was definitely a step up from their home in Alkuds. The main entrance had a highly-stylized set of carvings and decorations. Even the opening arches had a staggered, narrowing set of engravings that only tapered off into doorways. It had a look of two towers connected by a central building between them. Very distinctive. With trees and greenery and an open, paved square around it, the church must've been a premium space for guild housing. People could stay in that compound and the few blocks around it and never have to leave.

Café Panis was across a short bridge from the new KoB headquarters, seated on the road by the river. It was a period café, so instead of coffee machines and baristas, there were a few NPCs who tended to a cauldron over an open fire. I took a stool by the window, taking in a view of the river and the church courtyard beyond.

"Your coffee, sir."

An NPC server stopped by with a tray and placed the cup on the counter in front of me.

"Thank you."

The NPC bowed, but this drew some laughter from a nearby table.

"Do you make a habit of thanking NPCs?"

I turned on my stool; a table of three KoB members looked back with amused grins and mild chuckles.

At least, that was until they looked at my armor. The three of them rose, their chairs scratching against the floor.

The jovial atmosphere of the café dulled to near-silence. A couple patrons met my eyes and then looked away, whispering to each other. Others weren't so disguised about their feelings: they glared at me, but I couldn't figure out why until I looked down.

At my armband.

"You're from that guild?"

The armband bore the emblem of In Memoriam: a white candle on a black background, with a thin circle enclosing them. "The light that shines against the darkness" is how Aurora had put it.

I didn't bother to unequip the band. I turned aside, sipping my coffee, saying simply,

"Is there a problem here?"

The leader of the group—a dark-haired man with small eyes—could hardly contain his sneer.

"This café caters to proud and upstanding members of KoB and its friends."

"I'm a friend of KoB."

"Some friend you are! Being 'friends' with people like you puts us all in danger. You can't be trusted. You're not in control of your own body and mind. You have no place here—in this city, or even in this game!"

I slid my coffee aside and hopped off my stool, but the ponytailed KoB member had friends, too. Five more of his kind gathered behind him, each with a particular accusation or jeer.

"You must've been at that raid, right? Or were you too scared to get out of the house and level?"

"Only cowards would freak out like that In Mem person did. Just get over it already. We've all seen people die."

"We're lucky this is the Area, or a guy like him having a breakdown could do serious damage to us."

I put a hand to the sword on my back, and the KoB members drew their weapons. The leader scoffed at me.

"What's this? Are you picking a fight, scaredy-cat?"

"You're the ones picking a fight. I was just waiting to meet someone. You decided you had a problem with me. I don't care about the colors you wear or the bosses you've killed. A bully is a bully, no matter whatever else he is."

The ponytailed KoB member gritted his teeth, and he leveled his sword at my chin.

"You people are no better than dirt! We would be better off with empty spaces in a raid than people like you! You're just a weak-willed wannabe, not a real raider!"

I brought my sword forward, even as three of the KoB members surrounded me. A couple NPC servers stood paralyzed with trays of steaming coffee in hand, unable to find a path to their tables. The bell attached to the entrance rang as new customers walked inside. They would probably have a hard time finding tables, too.

"What's the meaning of this?"

But these weren't ordinary customers. They were Asuna and Heathcliff.

The deputy GM herself barged into the café, right up to the ponytailed man. Quivering, he dropped his sword right then and there, but Asuna wasn't about to show him mercy.

"Do I need to ask again?"

"No! No, not at all. We were just trying to show this—this _person_—a way out! Knights of the Blood stands for strength and honor; people from In Mem are petty leechers!"

Asuna stared at him, as though he'd just said the sky was green and the oceans yellow.

"No, they are _people_, and whatever weaknesses they have or emotions they struggle with are no different from yours or mine. Knights of the Blood stands for _respect_ and _duty_. It is our duty to protect everyone trapped in this world."

"But Asuna—"

"Are you arguing with me? Are you? When you've just been publicly menacing someone for no good reason?"

The ponytailed man winced and bowed his head. Asuna stared down the lot of her members in the crowd, and she glanced back at Heathcliff, who gave her a slight nod. With his approval, she faced the group once more to hand out punishment. She looked stern, like a general in front of a platoon of washouts.

"All of you, go back about your business. Leave this In Memoriam person, and anyone else you run into from any other guild, to his own devices. This kind of unwarranted antagonism will not be tolerated in this guild. Am I clear?"

"Yes, ma'am!"

Most of the disorderly KoB members couldn't get out of that café fast enough. The ponytailed man lingered behind a bit, waiting to pick up his sword as others passed by it. Even when the crowd cleared, it was Asuna who took the sword by its hilt, offering it to the man. Her tone was softer and more measured, almost motherly.

"Try not to be so concerned about pride, Kuradeel—yours, or the guild's. We manage just fine, don't you think?"

Kuradeel (I guess he was) seemed taken aback by that, but he nodded, shot a brief look at me that told me he'd learned nothing from Asuna's rebuke, and went on his way.

Asuna, for her part, let out a sigh, and she looked to Heathcliff with a pained expression.

"Is this the guild we've built? One with people so full of themselves they don't think anything of anyone else?"

Heathcliff pulled up a stool, facing the window, and he steepled his fingers.

"The guild is getting bigger every day. There are people I haven't personally met. Some of that is inevitable. You have to trust the people who recruit for you to do their jobs. Maybe it's time I had a word about that, though."

He looked to me.

"Kirito-kun, I'm sorry you had to go through that. I underestimated the feelings people in the guild would have toward your group. I knew there was some dissatisfaction over the zone-clearing raid, but this is deeply disturbing."

I put my sword away and glanced out the front window, at the group of KoB members heading back to the church with their tails tucked between their legs.

But in the window's reflection, faint thought it was, there was still Asuna.

"Heathcliff, can I talk to you privately?"

He and Asuna shared a glance. Heathcliff nodded, and he opened the door to the church courtyard. The two of us went right, out of sight of the café's main window, and hopefully out of earshot, too. It seemed as good a time as any. I got right to the point.

"I don't mean to tell you how to run your guild, but I think it'd be better if Asuna weren't here."

Heathcliff's chest fell as he let out a silent breath.

"Because of what happened with Sachi-san?"

"That's right."

He looked aside.

"Asuna-kun is my right hand. She works much more closely with the other raiding guilds than I do. I think you should reconsider."

"She was reckless; she endangered a person's health and sanity. That's a serious lapse in judgment."

Heathcliff tilted his head, looking at me like God administering a rebuke to a wayward sun.

"And she has learned from it, don't you think? No one has fought harder for In Memoriam since that time. I know you have strong feelings here, but this is about what's best for In Memoriam. Asuna-kun has served KoB well in her tenure as an officer here. Give her a chance to atone for a mistake."

I looked back to the café window. Asuna sat on one of the window-side stools with a tense, forlorn expression. It was the same one she'd had at the strategy meeting—fraught with uncertainty, devoid of the fire that had defined her in combat and in leadership.

I pursed my lips, taking a moment to reflect before facing Heathcliff again.

"Fine. We talk about this together, for now."

Heathcliff nodded, relieved.

"If there are any other actions of apology you feel are needed—"

"That's between her and me."

"Of course."

With that, the two of us filed back into the café. Asuna moved a stool for Heathcliff to sit down. She met my gaze and looked away just as quickly, so I tried to break the ice a bit.

"I hope we can work together amicably on this matter, Madam Deputy."

She gaped in surprise, but after a few moments to process what I said, she beamed.

"I hope so, too."

And just like that, the spark came back to her eyes. She was down to business in seconds.

"Now, you said that Aurora is intent on shutting down raiding for In Mem?"

"That's right."

"That's overkill; she doesn't need to do that, and it's a mistake to give up so quickly. We just saw it, right?"

Her eyes flickered to the window, then back to me.

"People need to understand that what all of you are going through is no different from what anyone else could feel. People think you guys are different, but that's just not the case. We're all human beings here, all deserving of the same decency and respect. I, for one, don't want to raid with a group that would exclude you."

A smile came to my lips; Asuna's passion and certainty were infectious at times, and that day was no different.

"Sounds like you have something in mind."

She smiled, too.

"I do! The first thing we have to do is convince the other guilds that In Mem is safe to raid with. A public relations campaign isn't enough. The truth, written down, isn't enough. People need to see it for themselves. If we can demonstrate to people that In Mem is not only capable, but that it has the heart and will to raid, even in the face of all this adversity."

Heathcliff stroked his chin, pensive.

"How would you do that? There's no spectator mode for raids."

"Right, having a large group of people observe a raid would be impossible. But a small battle, on the other hand…"

I raised an eyebrow.

"You want us to hold a duel?"

Asuna nodded.

"In Mem puts forth a champion for anyone to challenge, to prove bravery and skill and worth. Even if they fail, as long as they put up a good fight, especially against a respected name in the raiding community, it should help. If that gets just half of the raiding guilds on your side, or at least willing to accept you, that's enough. KoB is in charge of the Labyrinth boss for this floor. It'd be easy to put together a coalition with In Mem as a part of it."

That was all well and good, but we hadn't even touched on one major issue with this plan.

"What about Aurora? How do we convince her this is the right thing to do?"

That's when Heathcliff stepped in.

"Tell her we're behind her. That's the best we can do. We can lead by example and hope others are wise enough to follow."

I glanced out the window, watching more KoB members pass by on the street outside, and my eyes narrowed.

"I don't know. Between dealing with your people in this café to being kicked out of a raid to fighting with kill-stealers in the zone clear, Aurora's not going to be optimistic."

"You can't force optimism on people, Kirito-kun. This is a tenuous situation; she's right to be cautious. If she decides to go along with it, it's because the situation genuinely merits it. Trust in the human brain. It's the ultimate computer. It's much more intricate and rich in its behavior than anything you see here."

Heathcliff had an odd way of trying to inspire people sometimes. I had a hunch he must've been a computer scientist in the real world.

Still, there was just one more thing I had to take care of.

"Heathcliff, could you excuse us for a moment? I think our business about In Mem is over. This is personal."

"Of course. Keep me informed about the demonstration, please."

He rose from the stool, bowed to both of us, and went on his way. Asuna watched him go without a word, avoiding my gaze again, so I started off:

"When we get this demonstration together, I can ask Sachi if she'd be comfortable with talking to you alone. If she is, I'd like it if you spoke with her."

"Really?"

Asuna bit her lip.

"I've been wanting to do that for a while, but I was afraid she would be upset to see me. Well, _you've_ been upset to see me. Don't get me wrong: I don't blame you for that. I just…didn't know if I could apologize in a way that would be welcome instead of intrusive."

She stared at the counter again, downcast.

"It frightens me, you know."

"What does?"

"What I did, and what I've been doing. Before I came here, I didn't know the first thing about an MMO. If you'd asked me about a taunt, I would've said it was some kind of insult. More than that, though: I used to be just a girl who went to school, attended social functions, helped run things on the student council now and then…"

I cracked a grin at that.

"Color me surprised."

She blushed a bit, hiding her embarrassment with a nervous laugh.

"What I mean to say is, I don't think I was the kind of person who would've done what I did to Sachi-san. I wasn't careful. I didn't think about the harm that might come to her if she wasn't ready. That's scary, isn't it? I don't think I was that way before. Maybe the game made me this way? It sounds silly to say, but…."

A silence. I put my lips to my coffee cup, but it was empty, and I put it down awkwardly. For Asuna, this is the best I could come up with:

"No, I think you're right. The game changes you. It changes you, and you might not even realize it. I haven't really been part of a lot of teams or groups or anything like that before, and now…."

I turned my arm, showing the emblem of In Mem on my armband.

"Now here I am."

Asuna nodded at that, taking some comfort in that shared observation.

"Maybe that's going on with Aurora, too. If you can't convince her to go along with this…well, who knows, right?"

Who knew indeed. We were just two kids in a virtual reality game, sitting in a coffee shop without a clue in the world, really.

But I will say this: the coffee was quite good there. That much I knew for sure.

#

With Heathcliff and Asuna on board, that was half of the work done. The other half was convincing Aurora to go along with the plan, too. I messaged Sachi with details while on my way back to Strjonar, but by the time I returned to the tavern, I found her and Ezekiel at an impasse—that is unless they were having a staring contest just for fun. I went up to them, asking,

"What's going on here?"

Sachi folded her arms and turned aside.

"Someone thinks this is a bad idea."

Ezekiel sighed in exasperation, and he put both hands up to block us.

"Look, Aurora doesn't want to be disturbed right now. I understand what you're trying to do with this demonstration business, but more publicity, more attention? That's the last thing she wants."

"I understand she wants to avoid all that, but is avoiding it really the best thing for the guild?"

Sachi locked eyes with Ezekiel, freezing him with a steady stare.

"You said you want In Mem to be a family, right? Something unbreakable, something that can stay together to the end of this game? Look what this is doing to us. It's tearing us apart, isn't it? People feel like they have to leave just to stay competitive. That's _our family_ leaving us, and Aurora won't even consider a way to make it right?"

"Come on, don't—don't put it like that! She's trying to protect people, right? She's trying to protect all of us!"

We both stared at him—expectant and silent. In agony, Ezekiel buried his face in his hands for a few seconds, groaning, before he came to his decision.

"She's going to tell you the same thing I just did. Don't get your hopes up."

With that, he led us upstairs, to Aurora's room. Ezekiel knocked twice to announce us.

"Who is it?"

"It's me. Kirito and Sachi are here."

The door opened, and Aurora glared at me with a slow-burning fire in her eyes.

"Well, look who it is. You've got some nerve coming here. I don't take kindly to you consulting KoB behind my back."

What a welcome that was. I almost wanted to leave right then and there, if that was the reception we'd get, but Ezekiel waited for us to go in, and he shut the door behind us.

Aurora's room was sparsely decorated, as one would expect of lodgings at a tavern or inn. The wooden floor and walls were unfinished, bare wood with visible knots and lines. There was a bunk bed in the far right corner, across from the door. The top bunk was pristine while the bottom had disheveled covers and linens. There was a table and chair on the left side of the room, nearest to the window, with a small chest—about the size of a shoebox—sitting on the table, butting up against the wall.

A small chest, with little storage space to speak of—you could tell that just by the size of it. Was that the sign of a nomadic player, one who followed the raid group from one floor to the next? Or was it evidence of someone who didn't see much point in personal possessions at all?

Either way, the girl in front of us wasn't going to give us that answer easily. Aurora took the chair at the table, and she folded her arms crossly, glaring at me in silence. That look put a shiver down my spine, but I cleared my throat and defended myself:

"Look, I'm sorry about talking to KoB behind your back, but In Mem doesn't exist without Heathcliff's support, and I've known Asuna since Floor 1. You made it clear that you didn't want to listen to other ideas from the guild, so I looked for other options. I'm not sorry about that. We're both trying to work toward the same thing here—the best thing for this 'guild,' or whatever we are. I'm worried about it, and so is Heathcliff: if In Mem packs it in, that will validate all the prejudice and distrust that people are throwing at us. Is that the kind of raiding community you want to help build?"

Aurora looked at me long and hard, and some of that angry spark faded from her eyes.

"Of course not."

She sighed, looking down, and then she met my gaze again with a softer, more thoughtful look.

"I do worry about that, but what choice do we have? If the raiding guilds want to shut us out, we have no position to fight against that, even with KoB support. A demonstration sounds fine on paper, but if it doesn't work, we'll be the laughing-stock of the raiding community, and people will feel free to pelt us with all the hate and derision they can muster. I'm trying to keep this under control before it escalates to something dangerous. Have you seen—have you _felt_—anything like that?"

I'd seen a ponytailed KoB member sneering with utter contempt, yeah. I didn't say anything about it, but Aurora raised an eyebrow in surprise, eyeing me curiously.

"Maybe you have. I can see it on your face. So you know what we're up against. You want to fight it, right? That's the natural reaction, but it's also the most dangerous one. I won't have people here make that mistake. The guild needs a example set for them—one that will keep them alive."

I scoffed.

"So you're going through with this one-sided shutdown to make a point?"

Ezekiel, leaning against the interior wall, spoke up.

"Is there a problem with that?"

"Yeah, I think there is. Your responsibility is to the people here, not to some abstract idea. And even if it were, what message are you sending? In Mem has been about showing people what they _can_ do. All you're talking about right now is what we _can't_ or _shouldn't_ do. Why is that?"

At that, Ezekiel shot me a sidelong glance.

"Kirito, what are you getting at?"

"There's a reason Aurora is wary of getting our hopes up. There's a reason Aurora fears we could be beaten down for trying to stand up for ourselves."

"That's not the rule; you don't get to leverage this situation to pressure Aurora into explaining something she'd rather keep to herself."

"Zeke."

Aurora held up a hand, warding him off.

"There's no harm in Kirito asking. Whether I choose to answer…"

She looked to me again, with a sly, faux-innocent smile.

"Why do you want to know?"

"It's clear to me the decision you're making has a lot more to do with whatever happened to you than what's happening now. If Sachi and I can't understand what's really driving this decision, how can we expect to change your mind?"

"Maybe I don't want my mind changed."

But, despite that flippant remark, Aurora sighed, pursing her lips, and she looked to Sachi.

"You probably want to sit down, too."

Sachi took a seat next to me, on the lower bunk, but she sat on the far end, within Aurora's reach.

Aurora stared out the window for a time, until she said suddenly,

"Tell me, Kirito: why did you decide to play this game?"

"Hm? Well, I thought it was really a great game—a revolutionary game. I wanted to see it."

Aurora shook her head.

"Maybe I asked the wrong thing. Why play MMOs in general? They're time-consuming. You could say they take away from the rest of your life. I know Sachi came to play with friends from school. I understand that. It makes sense to me. What about you, Kirito? You play by yourself. A lot of people play with guilds that move from game to game as they get bored. You're all alone. Why is that?"

I sat up a little straighter and scratched the back of my head.

"Uh, does that really matter right now? I thought we were talking about In Mem."

Aurora laughed to herself.

"You're pretty guarded, aren't you? Well, I thought maybe you could understand better, not wanting to be around people, but I guess our reasons are too different."

She looked to the ceiling wistfully, and she dragged a finger along the edge of the table, like a lonely child.

"Something I've realized about this world, you know, is that despite the pixellation at long distances or the subtle differences in how things feel or taste or smell, the most important thing about it is still the same as the real world: the people. They are every bit as capable of kindness and generosity—or of selfishness and cruelty—as they are back home.

"I'd like to say I come from a terrible place. Maybe somewhere distant and far removed from the rest of the world, someplace so isolated that it wouldn't shock people if that place were backward in some way. We expect that, right? That there are communities out in the sticks with archaic traditions and attitudes? It'd be okay, somehow, if what happened to me could only occur on the outskirts of civilization, where no one knows any better.

"But I can't say that. I come from a large city, from a place that's supposed to be cultured and international, progressive and understanding. I think it's worse that way. People think they're smart and tolerant. They've tricked themselves into believing that, but it's not true.

"It happened on a hazy, gloomy day—one of those days when everything in the sky is gray or white, and you can't even tell where the sun is. I was coming from the grocery store with my friend Tal—let's just stick with that name for now, as fake as it is. Tal was my neighbor; we'd been friends since we were children, and from time to time, we would pick up groceries for our families, just to try to help out a little bit.

"Tal and I were heading back home when we came across a group of kids from school. They were the kind of kids who liked to borrow their parents' cigarettes, and their hobby was 'correcting' other kids who didn't fit their idea of what was good, what was normal. The teachers didn't condone this behavior—punks who came to school with piercings or blue hair were fair game; Tal and I were _not_—but they didn't care enough to stop these self-appointed 'Correctors' from doing whatever they wanted. They photoshopped my face onto a rhinoceros body and handed it out one morning, and all the administration did was tell them off for 'distributing unauthorized materials.'

"Tal and I knew it would only get worse from there, but I think, just to get by each day, we both pretended it wouldn't."

Aurora took a deep breath and looked down, collecting herself. Sachi reached out to Aurora, offering a hand for support.

"Do you need a minute?"

That earned a quick shake of the head from Aurora.

"No, I'll be fine. It's just the truth, after all."

Still, she took Sachi's hand, even as she stared at the wall, continuing on.

"Anyway, Tal and I ran into that Corrector gang, and it wasn't pretty. Tal got it worse than I did: I escaped with two weeks in the hospital, broken ribs, a bruised eye. I'm healed now, but I still remember it too well, and there are things I can't do because they remind me of that time. I can't do laundry, for instance. The smell of detergent—how it fills up your nose and mouth with the scent of a rain-soaked field, like it's growing out of your body—that gets me sometimes. I can't even go near a bottle of detergent now. Cloudy days get me, too. Sometimes, I catch myself looking up, as I looked up then, bleeding and battered and broken. I couldn't even move my head. All I could do was listen to the thumping of my heart as blood seeped out of me and look at the sky—the white, featureless sky—and think that must be the light that comes for you when you die."

Aurora laughed at that—a dark, bitter laugh.

"And I did want to die, but I wasn't afforded that luxury. No, I survived, and the torment didn't end just because I was in the hospital. Those bullies were still around, and they weren't sorry. They thought they were justified. They had slapped each other on the back and cheered while Tal and I crawled on the sidewalk like wounded animals. And then, once we were home, those kids hid behind their well-dressed lawyers and parents, smirking at us because they were untouchable."

At last, Aurora looked back to us again—to Sachi, and then to me—like a teacher finishing her lesson.

"So you see, Kirito, Sachi—I have been beaten. I've been harassed and spat upon because I don't fit some narrow-minded concept of what's normal. That trauma is what connects me to the rest of In Mem, not anything that happened in this game. I know what it's like to be seen as different. I know how it feels to be misunderstood, and I fear what will happen to us because haughty, ignorant masses believe we're not the same as them. I've given them a chance, you know. I've given people I called friends many of those chances. They disappointed me every time, and it was a mistake to try again. You two should give up on that idea as well."

A silence fell over the room. For me, it was a lot to take in. Just looking at Aurora, I couldn't imagine what had singled her out as a target. She was a little on the short side but reasonably attractive. Had she been targeted just for her body? For her brilliant red hair?

All I could muster from my throat was,

"Aurora, why?"

That drew a sad smile from her, and she squeezed Sachi's hand.

"Don't get me wrong—you guys seem nice. I think of you both as friends, but I can't expect you to be perfect. I can't expect you to be understanding or open-minded. Is it so wrong to accept that your friends are imperfect? Is it really a crime to stay ignorant of their faults? I already lost almost everyone I knew. I don't want to go through that again. So for now, isn't it enough to just pretend?"

I didn't know what to say to that. Thankfully, Sachi thought faster on her feet than I did.

"I see; you don't think people can understand us. You don't think people can understand you."

"Most can't. Maybe we're bred and trained to enforce conformity. Maybe it's in our genes. I don't know. I'm not a scientist. I just know what I've seen. Given the chance, most people will ostracize what they feel is different from them. So if that's how we're going to be treated, I don't want to fight it. I won't let the raiding guilds destroy us. I won't let them stand between us and, say, someone on Floor 22 who loses a friend in a side dungeon."

"So we save a few people and give up on the rest? What happens when someone loses a friend in a raid, but they think we're a bunch of unstable nutcases? It's already hard enough for people to come to us."

"It's even harder when we're embroiled in a hateful battle over raid group politics."

Sachi stared, gaping, quizzical.

"So it's like Kirito said: those people beat all the courage and trust out of you. You don't have any left."

Aurora bowed her head, nodding, and she took her hand away from Sachi, placing it in her lap alone.

"Yes, Sachi. I've known that for some time."

"Then why did you start this group? Why did you start In Memoriam? For Ezekiel?"

"For everyone like us, for people in need."

Ezekiel spoke up from his corner.

"And you've done good for us, Aurora. Don't feel like you haven't."

She nodded, smiling bitterly.

"Thanks, Zeke."

"You're welcome. But what if Sachi's right? Maybe what we've done isn't enough."

"What do you mean?"

"It's hard to take a position of hopelessness and derive strength from it."

Aurora scoffed.

"You, too, Zeke? Well, it's hard to take a position of hope and derive strength from it when it's empty. Guys, look, all I'm trying to do is keep us from hatred and vitriol, to keep us alive and well instead of crippled and bleeding."

She sighed, looking away from all of us.

"But maybe I'm alone in worrying about that. If you guys are so desperate to raid, so desperate to try, fine. Go ahead with this demonstration plan, for all the good it will do. I won't be a part of it."

Silence again. Sachi and I exchanged a glance, and without a word, we made for the door. Sachi touched the doorknob and stopped, turning around to face Aurora once more:

"You didn't create In Mem for Ezekiel. You created it for yourself. Out of everyone in this guild, you're the one who needs hope most of all. I hope you find it somewhere, if not with us, if not in this game, then somewhere."

Aurora met Sachi's gaze with small, pensive eyes, but after a moment of silence, she turned away again, saying only,

"Goodbye."

#

Ezekiel shut the door behind us, leaving Aurora in peace, but he took us aside in the hallway.

"Kirito, Sachi: I hope Aurora will think about what you two have said. I hope she'll reconsider, but we can't afford to wait for that to happen. What do we need to do to make this demonstration move forward?"

The logistics of that were simple: as long as we held it before the raid on the Labyrinth, Asuna could leverage it into giving us spots in the main raid. The sooner we held it the better. Ezekiel understood that, and in Aurora's stead, he made the decision:

"Fine, let's do it tomorrow. I'll let Asuna know that's our intention. We'll have to get everyone together and see who's willing to represent us."

I cleared my throat.

"Ezekiel, let me do it."

"You?"

He laughed softly, shaking his head.

"You've done enough, Kirito. I can't ask that of you."

"But I want to do it. I'm still one of the highest level players in the raiding community. I've placed well in a handful of PvP tournaments on the side, too. I'm qualified to do this. If you don't want me representing the guild as a beater—"

"Please."

Ezekiel shuddered at the thought.

"If they can't accept you because you're a beater, forget all of it. I think the harder part will be making people believe that you're actually one of us."

"I'm prepared to speak to that, too, if that's needed to convince people."

He looked aside, thinking.

"All right. Let me talk to others in the guild, see if everyone's on board with the plan, and make sure people are going to be there to watch. If you don't hear from me, you're up tomorrow, then. Good luck."

Our business concluded, Sachi and I parted with Ezekiel, who returned to his room, next to Aurora's. We went downstairs to head back to the Strjonar teleport gate. Sachi took the lead, so I couldn't see her face when she said,

"So, who are you, and what have you done with Kirito?"

"Eh?"

"I'm pretty sure I last saw Kirito this morning, and he was trying to convince me we'd be better off leaving In Mem if it came to it."

I made a face at that.

"I thought I said we should _consider_ it."

"Same difference. What changed your mind?"

"I don't know if it really changed. I like the guild well enough. It wasn't hard to try to make something happen."

Sachi laughed.

"Okay, Kirito. You keep saying that. If that's how you want to be, that's fine. You did something really good for the guild today. We can work on how you think about it later."

She glanced over her shoulder, smiling, and I smiled in return.

And then she looked ahead again, hiding her face from me.

That was natural, after all. The road from the tavern to the teleport gate was uneven, slippery, and steep in some places. The sun was already low in the sky, and with long shadows looming over the road, the terrain was even more treacherous than usual. Sachi extended both her arms to keep her balance on the slick stones.

"You want me to steady you?"

"That's all right. I'll get by."

I shivered.

"Sachi…"

"Hm? What is it?"

What was it indeed? Just what is it you can say about not being able to say anything? Was there something recursive there?

I think I followed dumbly for a few seconds, trying to break that infinite loop, when Sachi said,

"Relax, Kirito. I'm really happy you're invested in the guild now. I've always felt you're the kind of person who would strike out on his own if given the chance, even when it wasn't good for you. That's what matters to me most, really: making sure a friend is taking care of himself."

"Are you sure about that?"

She stole a glance at me from the corner of her eye.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

A silence. I looked aside, despite the unevenness of the road, and watched some of the goings-on in town as we walked by. A couple people raced canoes along the shoreline. The town blacksmith toiled over a weapon—I couldn't see if it was a sword or something else.

And in the main square, a sculptor installed a statue of some local hero. It was recognizably some kind of Viking fare, with a horned helmet and the like. It was painted in brilliant colors, with a majestic purple cloak and a rocky beard in gray and white.

I thought that was funny, though. Left out in the wind and rain, a painted statue would soon lose all its color. Maybe that wasn't the case in SAO, but if Kayaba had gone to any length to model the effects of erosion, then maybe it was the same.

Yet despite the obvious vulnerability in the statue's design, the sculptor went ahead anyway. Of course he did; he was just an NPC following a script. His actions didn't have any meaning. He couldn't appreciate the boldness of what he was trying to do: to erect a monument that would stand for something, that would show people something good and worth remembering, even though it would fade and erode with the passage of time.

I mean, with a rock slide or a lightning strike, the statue could be shattered and broken, charred and defaced, in an instant. Yet people tried to build such things anyway, even in the real world.

Once Sachi and I passed the town square, leaving the statue of the hero behind us, I cleared my throat again.

"Sachi."

"Hm?"

"I'm adopted, you know."

That stopped Sachi in her tracks, and I bumped into her. It was all I could to do hold on to her shoulder so I wouldn't fall.

"Sorry, you okay?"

She took my hand from her shoulder and kept it in her own, and we moved on again, side by side. Sachi broke the silence.

"I'm fine. You were saying you're adopted?"

"Ah, yeah. I didn't find out until I was ten. That's when I started playing online games. I thought it was nice, you know? You meet people, everyone understands what they're supposed to do, you run a dungeon or something, and then you part ways. You talk with people, but you never have to deviate from a script."

She smiled at that.

"Everyone has their own role to play. It's like a small fantasy."

"Yeah, exactly."

"And then you go on with your life. You take your closest friends with you, but you leave some of the people you met behind to try something else."

"That's how I used to feel about it, yeah."

She cocked her head.

" 'Used to'?"

I worked my hand free of Sachi's, and I put my arm around her, pulling her close. Her eyes went as wide as saucers, though, so I asked,

"Is this okay?"

Her eyes were still wide and uncertain at first, but she leaned into me, and the tension in her body eased.

"Yeah, I think so, but why now?"

A good question. After all this time between us, times I'd kept her just far enough away from me to feel alone, why that moment?

I glanced uphill to the tavern, and to a window on the second floor.

"I don't want to be like Aurora."

"Mm, that's okay then." A pause. "But now I think it's my turn to tell a story."

"Oh? What kind of story is it?"

Sachi put on a mischievous grin.

"It's about a girl who was being picked on in her first year in middle school, so she took apart a bully's laptop and removed the SSD."

"Is that so? And what did you—I mean, _she_—do with it?"

"Well, she thought about overwriting it with zeros or writing to it thousands of times until it wore out, but that would've been too mean, maybe even criminal. So she had to think of something that was a good prank but not too damaging. That could be a story all by itself, actually…"

We walked like that to the teleport gate and through Londinium, making our way back home, and though some of the passers-by stared and watched us as we went along, Sachi only smiled at them, and I never entertained the thought of letting her go.

#

The next day.

Asuna placed the demonstration outside the Labyrinth's entrance, near a farming village called _Anders_.

The demonstration's audience—raiding guilds and non-raiders alike—met at a wheat field on the outskirts of town. The NPCs had planted wheat to grow over the winter, just for dozens of players to walk in and trample all the immature plants.

And there were a lot of players there. The crowd had formed a ring five rows deep, with a central circle where the guilds' leaders and top officers met. Lind, Boudicca, and Donovan stood with their own entourages separately. Lind, for his part, looked a little bored and fidgety: he scratched the back of his neck and waved his sword around like a child. Boudicca was still as a statue, watching from her her executioner's hood. Donovan was in active conference with his offers, shooting looks at various targets throughout the conversation. Every now and then, I caught him looking in my direction, but he'd look away just as quickly.

And yes, as In Mem's champion, I was there, too. I stood in the shadow of the barn, not wanting to be seen too clearly until the time came. To my right, Ezekiel was chatting with Godfree.

"So, you think Loptr is going to be a hard fight?"

Godfree nodded at that.

"Most definitely. Random spawns put us at the mercy of circumstances beyond our control…."

They spoke some more about the Labyrinth boss, but I tuned out the rest of their conversation. I set my eyes ahead again, on the crowd. In Mem had a strong presence there: Kali, arms folded and with her perpetual wariness, had a place on the front row, next to Peeler and Pollux…

And Sachi.

Sachi was there, too, and she waved at me when our eyes met. I raised two fingers slightly in response, and Sachi went back to talking to Asuna.

It was probably for the best I wasn't there to listen to that conversation. The girls had a relationship of their own to form, or to mend. But, I will say I was hopeful. Asuna had been a good companion to me in the past. Sachi could draw strength from Asuna's determination, and Asuna, in turn, could take some comfort from Sachi's heart.

At the very least, they seemed to be getting on well together: the two of them traded stiff bows as they parted, but Sachi reached out to Asuna with an arm. Asuna stared at it for a moment before embracing Sachi in a brief, one-armed embrace.

Only then did the cool, stoic deputy GM compose herself again, stepping out to the middle of the oval-shaped battlefield with a strong, determined step.

"Attention! Attention, everyone! This meeting is underway!"

Asuna waved her rapier in the air to catch the crowd's eyes. The other guild officers came together behind her—or at least, they came closer to flank Asuna on either side.

"On behalf of the progression raiding guilds, I want to thank everyone for coming this afternoon. I know this meeting is unusual, but I think what's about to happen here is vitally important for determining the future of the raiding community."

Asuna put her rapier away and put both her palms up, gesturing to the crowd.

"And this _is_ a community. All of us here are volunteers. No one person must fight, but we've all chosen to do so. On the other hand, it's critical we be able to choose who we raid with, or who we put our lives on the line with. Any time we reject people who would volunteer to help clear this game, we do so in the belief that their presence in a raid would do more harm than good—or at least, that is the only reason we _should_ reject anyone.

"Over the last few days, players from the support group In Memoriam have faced significant barriers to joining the overall effort to progress. Their raid leader, Ezekiel, has petitioned the raiding guilds to hold a demonstration. Ezekiel?"

Ezekiel let out a breath, and he trotted out, into the cleared battlefield to stand with Asuna, starting off with a bow.

"Good afternoon. I know many of you have doubts about us. You might be thinking that people from In Mem are afraid. We wouldn't be human beings if we weren't afraid. You may believe some of us flash back to times of hardship and trauma."

Ezekiel pumped a closed fist in front of his chest, in tune with the stress of his words.

"I ask you, how cold and dead would a person have to be inside, to be wholly unmoved by death and suffering?"

Then, like Asuna, he opened both hands, gesturing to the crowd, the wheat field, and the arctic forests beyond.

"Look around you: all of the people you see are working to clear the Labyrinth and end this game. Your enemies are skeletons and beasts and demons. They're all outside of you, and you have help fighting them."

He took one hand and pressed it against his breastbone.

"People in In Mem face enemies that are inside themselves, and until we met each other, many of us faced those enemies alone. You wouldn't want to fight a boss solo; our enemies are just as dangerous in that respect."

And finally, he leveled one arm at the barn, and at me, the figure who stood in the barn's shadow.

"I'm going to introduce you to an example of the mettle and fortitude In Mem hopes to instill in all its members. Some of you know Kirito already. He's seen people die first-hand, but he's battled on. If you still question In Mem's determination and strength, then go ahead—challenge Kirito. He'll show you everything you need to know about us."

A murmur rippled through the crowd. I stepped out of the shadows, into the light, so people would know who I was. The crowd was abuzz and alive.

In all the wrong ways. Someone from the third row cried,

"What's this supposed to prove, exactly? Just because you're good at a duel doesn't mean you can face a boss!"

A two-handed spearman in front cupped his hands over his mouth and called out,

"How do we know he's really like everyone else in your guild?"

Ezekiel and Asuna traded panicked glances, and Ezekiel looked ahead to address the crowd once more, holding both hands up to try to placate them.

"Again, I urge you to consider us fairly for a moment, in a test of skill and ability. Please, give us a chance to do that!"

The DDA guild leader, Lind, ran his fingers through his hair, smirking.

"Nice try, Zeke, but it'll take more than some speeches to move people. This duel is just a little show. It doesn't mean anything. Why should one person like Kirito stand for all the good deeds and words and whatever other irrelevant things your so-called guild does? He's one guy. He's not all of you."

Folding his arms, Ezekiel shot Lind a pointed glare.

"Seems like people are happy enough to dismiss the guild based on one rumor about me. If that weren't the case, we wouldn't need this show at all!"

Lind huffed, and the small blond tuft of hair on his forehead moved with the air he'd let out.

"That's not DDA's problem. Why don't you go back about your business? This is a waste of time when we could be clearing the Labyrinth. Honestly, if people don't want to raid with you, why would you want to raid with them?"

At that, Asuna intervened, stepping up with Ezekiel against Lind.

"Are you asking them to form their own raid group? Are we back at that point? That kind of competition to raid got half of ALS annihilated!"

The KMD guild leader, Boudicca, cleared her throat.

"It may be difficult, but another raid group may be for the best. I will not raid with people if, even in only the worst case, one of their members may lose track of where he is and attack his own side. That is not acceptable to me, or to my guildmates. Period."

Ezekiel leveled a finger at Boudicca, gritting his teeth.

"That's not what happened, and you know it. You—"

"I challenge Kirito!"

That voice came from the crowd, and it stopped all the guild officers in their tracks. The owner of the voice came forward, dressed in chainmail and dark leather boots. Her bright red hair stood out from the crowd, and her black tabard, with a candle and flame in white, showed her allegiance:

Her allegiance to In Memoriam.

Aurora plucked the mace from her back, and she planted the handle into the trampled stalks of wheat beneath us.

"If no one else will face Kirito, this is how it has to be."

Donovan stormed to the front.

"She's part of the same guild! This is a sham!"

Asuna folded her arms, frowning.

"Is it? I don't think it is. There's nothing to gain for one of them to win over the other. What will matter, then, is the quality of the fight."

Donovan shook his head, pointing squarely at me.

"No, no! He's an established raider; if he loses, then that just serves to make her look good!"

"Either he's an established raider with good credentials, or he's not. As I recall, you're the one who felt Kirito-kun wasn't qualified to join the scout team. You don't get to have it both ways, Donovan."

He scowled, but he stepped back, allowing Aurora to pass. That was only enough to get her to Ezekiel and me, though. Ezekiel, for his part, seemed relieved to see her.

"So, you're on board with us now?"

"No, Zeke. I'm making sure this happens, so you and Kirito can see what we're up against."

"What do you mean?"

"We're going to have this duel, but do you know what will happen after that? No one will care. No one will be moved to think differently. Once you guys realize that, we can put this foolishness to rest."

Her eyes narrow, her lips taut, Aurora's expression silenced Ezekiel, but that didn't stop me.

"Aurora, I refuse to believe that. You want In Mem to succeed. You want us to be accepted. Have the faith to believe we have a chance."

She shook her head.

"What we want and what we can expect to happen are two very different things."

With that, she bowed to me, and she presented the duel confirmation dialog: Aurora was challenging me in Half Loss Mode.

A small sound came out of my throat, and I fumbled for words, saying,

"Are you sure? That's risky."

"Yeah, it's risky, but First Strike is for wimps, and I'm at a disadvantage against your sword in First Strike. You want a good show, right? And seriously, when is the last time anybody took a crit from green to red in PvP?"

I glanced over the crowd, restless and chatty. How would they react if the duel were over in under ten seconds? Not well.

So I accepted, and the sixty-second timer began.

"Good luck, Kirito."

Aurora turned and paced toward the far end of the battlefield, where the oval reached its narrowest point. I marched off to the opposite end, until there were about thirty meters between us. Aurora stood at her position, eyes closed, as though she were meditating. At that moment, the contradiction of Aurora was on display for all to see: leader of a guild that aimed to give hope to those in despair, she was the most desperate and cynical of us all. She looked the part, too: with her eyes shut, oblivious to the countdown, you could've mistaken her for a condemned prisoner before a firing squad.

That wasn't the Aurora In Mem needed.

But, there was little I could do to persuade her. The best I could do was go through with the fight.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have a special treat for you today. Kirito, Champion of In Memoriam, against his guild master, Aurora, in a special Half Loss Mode duel! Please, cheer for them both!"

Asuna was doing her best to pump up the crowd, but the chatter from the audience was muted at best.

The duel timer ticked down. Ten seconds left. I drew my sword and tensed my legs, thinking over my strategy. The best way to attack someone with a two-handed weapon was to get in close, to nullify the advantage they had with range. Then, as a swordsman, I could cut off one of her arms. Without both arms to wield the weapon, Aurora would be unable to activate any Sword Skills for her mace. The duel would be all but won then.

The strategy was clear. All that remained was to do the fight.

The clock announcement hung in midair, counting off the final seconds. Three, two, one—

Go!

At the chime, I charged for Aurora. I closed the first twenty meters on my own; then, I put my head down, leaned forward, and pointed my sword aside, level to the ground. The system took control of my body, shooting me to my target in a flash.

Shing! A diagonal cut traced an arc from Aurora's hip to her shoulder, but the damage line was faint, and her HP budged only a couple pixels.

Gritting her teeth, Aurora raised her mace high overhead. I dashed aside, and—

WHAM!

The flanged bulb blew out a crater in the earth, and stalks of wheat rained from the sky.

"Too slow, Aurora!"

I slashed across her torso and sidestepped her arcing, unwieldy swing. A slight wind blew past me, ruffling the collar of my coat.

Shing! I put a Vertical down her spine, and the best she could do was chain a couple long swings at air while I scampered around her.

"Damn, you're fast! But are you fast enough for this?"

She planted her right foot, cocked her mace in her arms, and spun.

Thud! She blasted me in my side. I fell to a knee to recover and ducked; the bulb zipped over my head as it passed. The mace swung in a blur above me, but below, Aurora was exposed:

I flicked the tip of my sword at Aurora's knee, and the blade cut across the joint.

"YAH!"

She crumpled, spinning into a pile as the ground slowed her to a stop.

I climbed to my feet, raised my sword overhead, and brought down a Vertical!

Thud.

But Aurora rolled out of the way, and my sword hit only dirt, sinking into the ground.

With that reprieve, Aurora scurried off. I yanked my sword free and stalked after her again.

"Is this a fight or a massacre? What gives?"

That cry came from the crowd, and it wasn't wrong. Aurora sat at 75% health, on her guard and winded, while I came after her with over 90% health. I bent and twisted my torso, testing the wound she'd given me, but it felt fine.

"You're pretty good, Kirito."

Aurora held her mace out in front of her, with both hands firm on the handle.

"You do a lot of PvP?"

"I enter tournaments now and then. They're good money."

She scoffed.

"Guess that means this'll be over quickly, then."

She charged, putting up a flurry of dizzying swings and strikes. The mace head blurred into a teeth-smashing wall. If I tried to cross it, I'd only get my head bashed in.

But if I could break it…

I stuck my sword into Aurora's path, and—

Clang!

The blade rang like a piano string, jumping out of my hand. That stopped Aurora long enough to make her regroup.

And she regrouped all right. She turned her hips, like a golfer at St. Andrews. The mace glowed orange and black, and she lined up a stroke to knock me down the fairway.

I ducked and rolled right!

WHIFF! The mace bulb grazed the top of my head, catching a few loose strands of hair. Aurora's eyes went wide, and she turned her hands over to swing from the forehand.

I fumbled for my sword, and with my back to the ground, I drove it through her torso.

WHAM!

Just as the mace blasted my shoulder, ringing through my ears like a thunderclap.

Grabbing her chest, Aurora pulled back, and I rolled to my feet, putting distance between us. Even after the blow, the mace hit to my shoulder left an unsettled, tingling sensation. I tried rolling the joint to make it feel right again, but the tingling lingered. Aurora, too, cradled her chest wound, brushing stray damage particles away as we sized each other up for the next round—probably the last, if this kept up. She was at 60%, and I still had a 20% lead on her.

"Come on, Red, you've got to take advantage when he's down like that!"

Another outburst from the crowd. The knew it too, right? That Aurora would be done for if I had my way for another set of blows?

Aurora's ignored the remark, though; her narrowed eyes fixed on me.

"Yeah, he doesn't respect your ability to punish him! If you hit him with a stun, he's dead to rights!"

But that comment got her attention. Her gaze flickered off me, to the second spectator in the crowd.

"Um, thanks?"

"Don't stop there. You overrotated that Tiger Swing. If you keep him straight on for it, he's knocked over to Strjonar! Keep at it!"

A few other scattered voices in the crowd chimed in.

"Yeah, keep at it, Aurora! He's not as tough as he looks!"

"You can come back; it's not over yet!"

Some of them even broke into an impromptu cheer.

"Au-ro-ra! Au-ro-ra! Au-ro-ra!"

To be honest, I thought all this fist pumping a little silly, but Aurora didn't seem to mind. She put her mace aside and bowed to the crowd.

"Thanks, everybody! I'm gonna show Kirito I've got more than he can handle, right?"

A burst of cheers and hollers followed, and as Aurora bathed in their enthusiasm, I closed the gap between us to start the fight again. Head forward, sword to the side, crouched down—the Rage Spike took me right to Aurora's face with a weak cut to finish the move.

"Hey, what gives? He's attacking while she's talking with the crowd! That's dirty!"

The crowd hissed and jeered me, but Aurora didn't need their disapproval to fuel her. As I slashed and cut at her body, she backpedaled, creating more space and distance. My sword strikes caught her with only the tip of the blade; I might as well have been swinging at her with a toothpick like that.

A Horizontal grazed her belly, but Aurora slide her top hand up the shaft of the mace, squaring the handle against me.

Thud!

She parried my sword, batted it aside, and lined up another Tiger Swing to my gut.

WHAM!

I flew backward, skidding on the earth, stunned. My sword clattered at my side, and my fingers twitched helplessly, but Aurora was entirely without pity.

"Maybe you can understand now, Kirito!"

WHAM! An Overhead slammed into my shoulder, and the ground shuddered beneath me.

"You see, you don't know who people are until you're at their mercy!"

WHAM WHAM WHAM! She spun back and forth, slamming me with the head of the mace, using the recoil to spin the opposite direction, and clobbering me again. Dirt stuck to my face, and wheat filled my nostrils with the scent of unbaked bread.

"Even people you thought were your friends can disappoint you!"

CRACK! The flanged bulb smashed into my forehead, leaving a throbbing damage line above my eyes.

"Au-ro-ra! Au-ro-ra!"

The stun icon disappeared from my screen, and I scampered free from Aurora's reach. To the crowd's cheers for Aurora, I stood up, unarmed, even as Aurora kicked my sword aside. Through clenched teeth and a half-open eye, I called out to her:

"If it's impossible for people to understand us, why is everyone cheering for you?"

"It won't last. Let's finish this, and you'll see."

I wrung out my fingers and struck a defensive, martial arts stance.

"You want to prove that? Then come at me."

She raised both eyebrows, stifling a laugh.

"Okay, you asked for it."

This time, I let her start the attack. She spun her mace at her side, gathering momentum, and brought it overhead.

I leapt up, and the mace head fell beneath me.

BAM! The ground ruptured and cracked, opening a short sinkhole where the head had struck.

But I tumbled back to earth, behind Aurora, and put three fingers together on my right hand. They glowed with power, yellow and brigh, and I drove them into Aurora's back.

Ka-PISH!

Aurora staggered, and she swung wildly, over my head. That left her open, and I kneed her in the ribs and batted her aside with a sideways, two-handed Hammerfist.

But Aurora caught the ground and rolled, back on her feet in a flash. She charged past me, and her mace's handle banged into my throat, like getting hit by a moving clothesline.

I fell backwards, slamming into the dirt and gasping for air.

Aurora reached back for an Overhead, the mace shimmering with blue and white light, and—

WHAM! She got me square on the chest. The sharp crack blew out my ears, drowning out the crowd with a high-pitched hum.

She reached back again, but I grabbed at her ankle, sending her tumbling to the dirt, too. We grappled, and she kicked and writhed to get free. I drew my elbow back and banged it against her cheek with a _thud_.

And the last two green pixels of her health ran down, turning the bar yellow.

The duel was over, and I collapsed to the ground, beside Aurora, to stare at the sky. The ringing in my ears faded—that had to be a system-induced effect, right?—and I heard birds chirping in the distance. The once-raucous crowd had quieted to stunned silence.

"Sheesh."

Aurora rubbed her jaw.

"I don't think I'm gonna be able to eat for a while."

"Sorry."

She sniffed.

"It is what it is, I guess."

She sat up with a pained expression, and using her mace to prop herself up, she climbed to her feet in silence.

"You see, Kirito? You see what they think of us?"

I saw all right. Asuna, Ezekiel, and Klein stood back, in the shadow of the farmhouse, unmoving. Even Lind, Boudicca, and Donovan seemed at a loss, looking on in silence.

That was until the first clap rang out.

It was someone in the front row—a man with a spear strapped to his back. He clapped, all alone, nine or ten times even before someone had the temerity to join him. But once it was two, the clapping redoubled, spreading through the crowd like a virus, an epidemic of applause. And through this expression of approval and gratitude, some among the audience restarted the three-beat cheer.

"Au-ro-ra! Au-ro-ra! Au-ro-ra!"

She stood there, dumbstruck and gaping, even with the notice that I had won the duel as a backdrop.

"No, no, no…"

She shook her head, muttering.

"No! Stop! Everybody, stop!"

Aurora waved her hands, getting the crowd's attention, and the din died down.

"Stop! Don't cheer for me, you understand? Don't do that. If there's someone you should cheer for, it's Kirito."

That was met with boos and derision, but Aurora stomped her foot and silenced them.

"It's not just Kirito, but everyone in the guild. People like Ezekiel behind me, or Sachi and Kali here in the front row. You should cheer for all of us, not just me, because all of us—we used to be you once. And if any of you run into something that can't be unseen, can't be forgotten, we want to be there for you. We can help people together, if you'd welcome us to stand with you."

The crowd erupted in applause again, and to whistles and cheers, Aurora took a bow. She smiled and waved for them, drawing an even louder response.

And was that glint in the corner of her eye a tear?

Honestly, no one but Aurora could say.

* * *

_Auld Lang Syne_ updates every two weeks, so look forward to the next chapter on Saturday, October 18, 2014, at 1 PM EDT (10 AM PDT), after the official stream of SAO II Episode 15.

Next time: "Anders, Part One." Though In Memoriam is invited into a raid, some in the raiding community respond with pranks and harassment, determined to punish Aurora for taking their place.

For notes and commentary on this chapter and others, check out the _Auld Lang Syne_ thread on Sufficient Velocity, linked from my user profile.


	6. Anders I

**Anders, Part One**  
_Aincrad Floor 42 - October 15, 2023_

Having played a few MMOs over the years, there's nothing quite like a party in virtual reality.

In other games, a guild party might involve people getting on voice chat and dressing their characters up in novelty armor. They might go somewhere remote, put up a cooking fire, and have a few laughs. Or they might run an easy dungeon that wouldn't punish them for lapses in attention or mistakes, so they could enjoy pleasure of killing things effortlessly. You couldn't do that in SAO—no one would act that recklessly with their real lives on the line.

But SAO made up for that in other ways. Unlike other games, you could have a real, genuine party, with people standing around awkwardly, drinking too much, playing meaningless games just to enjoy each other's company, and so on.

That you could get your own house trashed while hosting such a party was, I think, a bit more real than I would've liked.

"Hey, Kirito! You've got high agility, right? Get over here and dance!"

That was Pollux: part-time KoB initiate, part-time In Mem player, and, apparently, part-time dancer. Along with his brother Castor, Pollux was having too much of a good time in my courtyard, for he pranced around the NPC band that was providing music. To the lively beat of cymbals and drums, Pollux did some kind of jig around the NPC musicians. He went so fast he slipped and slid on the ground, tearing up the courtyard grass, and when Castor caught and flung him around, he slammed into one of the support pillars. The whole house shuddered and creaked.

"That's okay. I don't want to bring my own house down. Be careful, all right?"

"Come on; you've got to show us some moves! Show Collmenter what it means to have a good time!"

Old Man Collmenter stood by the courtyard railing, his beard ruffling with the breeze.

"Partying like this is for the young. I don't need to go out and twist a knee to enjoy myself."

"Even if you did twist a knee, the system would fix it in a matter of minutes!"

I left Castor, Pollux, and Collmenter to argue over the best way to enjoy themselves. Even as a host—no, especially as a host—it's best not to linger in one place for too long. Make sure everyone's having a good time, right? Isn't that what a host is supposed to do?

Then again, after the success of the demonstration, there might not have been much I could do to mess up the guild's good mood.

I found Aurora, Ezekiel, Kali, and Peeler playing cards in the dining room. They shoved the couches aside, playing right on the floor. Ezekiel dealt out three community cards, and all eyes turned to Aurora, but she tapped her fingers on the floor.

"Check."

Peeler shuffled two coins between his fingers and peered at his two hole cards.

"I bet two thousand."

He tossed a pair of coins onto the burgeoning pile.

"Two thousand, huh?"

Aurora drummed her fingers on her cards. Then, she took a large stack of coins and dropped them into the pot.

"I see your two and raise five more."

"Check-raise? You're bluffing."

"Am I?"

Peeler stared at Aurora, whose face was blank and neutral. He checked the community cards—Ace, Four, and Five, all different suits—and frowned. His small pile of coins wasn't encouraging, either.

"Damn. I'm out."

He tossed his cards aside, and Aurora broke into a wide grin.

"Gotcha, Peeler!"

She showed her two hole cards—a Ten and a Seven—and laughed as she added the pot to her pile of coins. Peeler wept over his small stack, but Kali bailed him out with a ten thousand more to keep the game going.

"You've gotta be more careful going head-to-head against her, Peeler. She's totally unreadable."

"Who, me?"

With that faux-innocent smile, Aurora stacked up her winnings in neat piles, and despite the dimmed lamps in the room, she spotted me at the doorway as I was looking on.

"Hey, Kirito, drop some money in this pot! Zeke and Peeler are on the ropes and could use some more life."

"Ah, no, that's all right. Have you guys seen Sachi?"

"She said she was going out front for deliveries."

Out front, huh? Well, it'd be nice to see her, if only to make sure she wasn't doing all the work.

"Show your girlfriend a good time, all right?"

I put my hand to my forehead, forming a salute.

"Yes, Mommy Aurora."

She scowled.

"Bastard! Don't get cute with me!"

To collective laughs all around, I left the others to their game and went up front, to the atrium and the front door. Sure enough, Sachi was outside, talking with a few NPCs who were operating a chariot. Sachi gestured to the cargo—trays of cheese, blackberries, and raw fish.

"And it's fifty thousand for all of this?"

The NPC nodded.

"Thanks so much."

Sachi gave the NPC a small pouch, and the NPC counted the coins by hand as Sachi dematerialized the contents of the chariot one tray at a time, one touch per item. I called out,

"You need any help with that?"

"Please! I'm pretty close to weight limit. You'd save me a trip!"

I trotted down the walkway to the road and joined Sachi in adding the contents of the chariot to my inventory.

"Sorry, I should've been here earlier. It's not fair that you're having to do so much to take care of everyone else."

"Oh, I don't mind. Everyone's having a good time, right? It's been a tough week for everyone. Feels like it's the first time we've really had a chance to relax and breathe. I could do this all day, feeling like this."

True, despite the weight of the food in my inventory—an unlocalized weight that pressed down on me from all directions—the cool autumn wind was quite nice. It was like Aincrad itself was breathing easier with the demonstration, and the raid group's skepticism toward us, in the past.

But all those good feelings wouldn't feed the guild. Sachi and I headed for the kitchen and started unloading the food from our inventories, but there was still one thing on my mind.

"Just remember to have a good time, all right? Aurora wanted me to make sure you do that."

Sachi giggled.

"Oh, you need Aurora to tell you to do that?"

"Of course not."

"Then what do you plan to do?"

"I'm going to stay right here and help sort this food, for starters."

"Mm, good answer. I believe that's worth ten reputation with me."

With that, she gave me a peck on my cheek, but I had to complain a bit.

"Only ten rep? This is going to be a hell of a grind, then."

"No, I think you're pretty close to maxing out your rep with me."

She leaned in again, and our lips met. I lifted her off her feet and plopped her down on the counter, but she slapped my shoulder, bursting into laughter.

"Hey, hey, can you imagine what would happen if someone walked in on us right now? We need to wait until everyone's gone."

"Do we?"

Sachi bit her lip, and she looked to the kitchen door.

"Do you think we can sneak past the band?"

"I doubt it. Maybe if Kali were out there—she wouldn't say a word—but Castor and Pollux would never let us forget it."

"Too bad. I guess this'll have to do."

She slung her arm around my neck, and we kissed one more time, until—

Knock-knock-knock.

That got us separated, and Sachi hopped off the counter, frantically trying to straighten out her hair and armor.

"That's probably the peas and nuts."

"You're worried about whether NPCs can tell we've been making out?"

Her cheeks going red, Sachi hurried to the door.

"You don't want to confuse them, that's all."

"So if I kissed you in front of an NPC, it would be a problem?"

"…I didn't say that."

As Sachi undid the locks on the door, I put an arm around her, and that blush of hers amplified tenfold. She giggled, but she tried to keep her eyes on the guest at the door.

And then she went even redder, for the guest at the door wasn't an NPC at all.

"Sorry, am I interrupting something?"

When someone from KoB is at your door, it's hard not to think you're being targeted by the Inquisition. When it's _Asuna_ at your door, that goes double.

Sachi and I separated faster than a uranium nucleus in an A-bomb, and Asuna shot us a bewildered stare. After a few moments, she spoke, albeit a bit stiffly:

"I'm sorry to intrude. I know you guys are having a good time. Is Ezekiel around? There's something I'd like to discuss with him."

"I'll go get him."

Sachi ducked out, heading for the dining room. I rubbed the back of my head and apologized to Asuna:

"Sorry about that."

"About what?"

She looked at me with raised eyebrows. I winced, and even she couldn't keep that straight face up for long. She laughed softly, smiling.

"Don't worry about that. Well, maybe you could be a little more discreet? But really, we have a life and death game to worry about. I don't think anyone should have a problem with people taking comfort in one another. So, like I said, don't worry about it. Sachi-san is very sweet. You two complement each other well."

"How do you mean?"

Asuna opened her mouth to explain, but Sachi came back with Ezekiel before Asuna could get a word out. Ezekiel shook out his legs, wincing, and looked to Asuna.

"What's this about?"

Asuna bowed, quite deeply at that.

"Sorry to bother you, Ezekiel. I was just talking with some of the other guilds about raid composition for tomorrow. They were mostly fine with In Memoriam contributing a party or two, but they did have some other concerns…about you."

"About me? Because of that bald-faced lie that's going around?"

"I'm afraid so. I made a point to tell everyone that KMD exaggerated what happened on the way to Strjonar, but there are still some reservations about you leading a party in the raid."

Sachi scoffed.

"How could this be? People saw the duel; people cheered for Aurora. They cheered for _us_! And now they're complaining about us behind our backs?"

Sighing, Asuna nodded, unable to look Sachi in the eye.

"It seems there are still more people who need to be convinced that In Memoriam is safe."

And with that attitude working against us, working against Ezekiel, we didn't have many options, and I said as much.

"Let's go inside, yeah? It sounds like we have some thinking to do."

The four of us took over the dining room, and everyone other than Aurora cleared out so we could talk.

Asuna laid out a couple ideas: Ezekiel could stay away from the raid altogether—"I'd rather take a dip in a hot spring from hell," was his reaction—or Asuna could split the difference, putting Ezekiel and one partial In Mem party near the center of the boss's room while the rest of us defended the entrance.

"You have Castor and Pollux; they're KoB, too, so it's like half a KoB party and half an In Mem party all in one. I think that would be easier for people to swallow."

Aurora narrowed her eyes, skeptical.

"What does that leave us near the door? You're still going to want as many forwards as possible up there. Who's in charge?"

On this particular fight, yes, we expected a lot of adds in and around the door, so tanks would be needed to maintain control, and non-tank forwards would be ideal to switch in, get damage on the adds, and provide a brief relief in incoming damage.

Asuna nodded, and she said,

"A forward should be in charge to judge how well the group is handling adds."

Sachi raised both hands in the air, backing away.

"Not it! I just learned how to tank over the last few months; I don't think I'd be the best choice."

Ezekiel chuckled.

"Yeah, we wouldn't make you do that. Let's see, so Peeler's a little too irreverent for my taste. Kali's more than capable, but she can be irritable sometimes."

And then, for some reason, all eyes in the room wandered to me, and I shook my head as rapidly as I could.

"Whoa, whoa, you want me to be what, a temporary group leader? I can't do that. I've never led anybody!"

At that, Ezekiel raised both his eyebrows.

"What are you talking about? You've tanked bosses in raids, even though you're not really a tank. You have as much experience raiding in this game as I do, and more than everyone else in the guild. You're capable of doing this."

"Yeah, but…."

I sighed, bowing my head.

"Look, I don't think I'm the right person for the job. I'm not comfortable in a position of being responsible for other people's lives to that extent. I've failed at that before, you know. It would be a mistake to put that kind of trust in me again."

Sachi frowned at that.

"You always used to come home and complain that the people running the raids were hard-headed and set in their ways."

"I guess it's easy to say those things when you're in no position to change any of that."

I sighed again.

"All right, I'll give it a try, but I can't make any promises."

Ezekiel and Aurora exchanged a glance. Aurora broke the silent moment.

"No pressure, Kirito. If it doesn't feel right after tomorrow, we won't make you do anything like that in the future, either. Hopefully people will learn to trust Zeke here, and we won't have problems like this again."

Ezekiel winced.

"It's not a matter of trust. People are just being unreasonable."

"Oh, I dunno. You do look a little shady sometimes."

As Ezekiel fumed and Aurora snickered, Asuna took her leave.

"Sorry again to bother you. I hope you all have a wonderful party. See you tomorrow, bright and early, yeah?"

Asuna stepped out, and Aurora clapped her hands together.

"Zeke, go get Kali and Peeler back here. We're playing another round. Sachi, Kirito, wanna join?"

"Okay, let me just put out the food, and I'll play a few hands."

That was Sachi, and she looked to me expectantly, but I shook my head.

"I think I'll pass, for right now."

Aurora huffed.

"Really? Well you have to play one hand before the end of the night; I insist on it."

I waved a hand behind me as I left, following Sachi out, but Sachi fell into step beside me.

"We're not Black Cats, you know."

"I know. Black Cats never got to have a party here, so In Mem is already not like that."

"That's beside the point."

"I know."

She sighed, pressing her lips together, and she watched me closely.

"Kirito…."

"I'll be fine. Just give me a bit to get used to the idea, all right?"

I put my hand behind her head, pulled her close, and kissed her forehead. She closed her eyes, letting out a breath.

"Okay. What are you going to do now?"

"I'm going to sit outside for a bit. I'll come back in a little while and clean up, yeah?"

"I'll hold you to that."

I kissed her forehead again, and she squeezed my shoulder once before we parted.

I went outside to sit under the awning. The house was raised from street level by one layer of stone blocks, but they were thin and small. Do you know the feeling when you try to sit on a step that's too short? It's uncomfortable, isn't it? Sitting on the blocks by the street was something like that, but that was fine. I didn't need to feel comfortable.

It was already dusk in Londinium, and all of Aincrad. A strange horn blared from within the house, and every now and then, I thought I could make out laughter from the poker game. A few other members of the guild had gone around the side of the house to play dice—amazing, really, that SAO had so many ways to amuse yourself in-game that weren't the actual _game_ itself. And yet, with all these virtual mockups of older games, it was like being stuck in the past, without the Internet or technology to help pass the time.

I sat in front of the house for a while, trying to ingrain the sounds around me into memory. Some things should be allowed to stand forever, after all. Some things shouldn't be forgotten. So I closed my eyes and listened, as dice clattered on the stone road, as poker players laughed and hollered over a close hand, as would-be dancers tumbled into the NPC band and disrupted an otherwise perfect performance. I listened, so that these happy moments wouldn't be totally lost in time.

With NPCs and chariots passing by every-so-often, though, I didn't even notice the two sets of footsteps that were approaching the house, until they were right in front of me.

"You always take a nap out on the street?"

My eyes snapped open. A girl stood before me—with jet black hair, an executioner's hood, and icy blue eyes. She had a partner with her: a man, athletic in build, with black dyed armor. He stood back, but she towered over me as I sat, staring, so I said,

"There aren't any mobs to kill-steal here."

"No shit. This is an Area. Guards would've killed anything before it could wander into town."

"So, what are you doing here, then?"

"I heard you guys were having a party."

The girl offered a small, gift-wrapped box, and she held it out in front of me. I opened my hands, and she placed it there.

"That's for your friend, the redhead. I watched you two fight. Thought I should pay some respect. Be careful with it. It's fragile."

I raised an eyebrow.

"You're sorry?"

"You don't have to put it in so many words. Just make sure she gets it, all right?"

Looking away, she gestured to her partner, and they two of them headed down the road.

I turned over the package in my hands. It was no bigger than my palm, in pink and white wrapping paper with red ribbon holding it together.

Well, I'd spent enough time on my own, anyway. It was probably best to go find Aurora and play a hand with her before she came along to drag me to the game.

I headed back inside, and I found Aurora, Sachi, and the others setting up for a new hand.

"Aurora, you have a gift."

"Say what? From who?"

"You remember those kill-stealers from the other day? Seems they're sorry."

Aurora took the box in hand and looked underneath.

"Sorry they got their asses handed to them, maybe. I asked Asuna to look into their bullshit from that raid. The girl, Hera, and her boyfriend, SniperX? They're pretty bad apples, and this isn't the first time they've stepped on another guild's toes. Asuna suspended them from raiding for two weeks."

Ezekiel finished shuffling the deck of cards, but he put it aside, studying the parcel, too.

"So, this is supposed to be a gift?"

Aurora scoffed at that.

"I bet it's something gross. You remember that quest with the Yak Testicles? Maybe they saved one of those."

"That quest wouldn't have been so bad if you actually got two testicles from each Yak you killed…."

The poker players crowded around Aurora as she undid the bow, working with the finesse of a clockmaker. She pulled the top off the box gently, exposing a vial of dark fluid.

"The hell is this? It's just clothing dye. Kirito, can you turn up that light?"

I went to the oil lamp and tapped the control on the front, which gave me a slider to bring up the light level in the room. Aurora held the vial between her eye and the lamp. She shook it, and—

BANG!

Shards of glass scattered, sticking in my coat and the walls of the room. They disintegrated as the system recycled them, but the damage to my coat remained.

Ezekiel fingered a hole in his tunic, making a face.

"Really? An _unstable_ vial of clothing dye? Who keeps one of those around?"

Not many people. A product of Alchemy that was "unstable" usually resulted from someone trying to get skillups without regard to quality. Unstable potions and the like were still usable, but only barely—you wouldn't want to get blown up by a potion when you're trying to regain some health, for instance. That was, if you could even carry the potion safely without it exploding in your belt.

The vial had left a dark stain on the floor, but the bulk of the damage was to Aurora: the white candle and flame on her tabard bore spots of splatter from the vial's dye.

Splatter in a dark, bloody red.

"Well then."

Aurora brushed one of the splotches with her finger, but the red dye ran and smeared at her touch.

"I guess we haven't made everyone our friend yet, have we?"

That little stunt from the kill-stealers put a damper on the rest of the night. Aurora took off to make some repairs to her tabard before the raid the next day. Ezekiel went with her, wanting to call it an early night. The NPC band packed up for the evening, and almost in a heartbeat, the house was empty, save for Sachi and me as we tried to scrub away the stains from the dining room floor.

Such was the night before In Mem's first Labyrinth raid.

#

This hostility and skepticism aside, In Mem still had a chance to prove itself during the boss fight. How we would be judged depended on the difficulty of the boss itself. Against an easy boss, people would dismiss success as inevitable. Against a harder boss, people would tend to blame the weakest players for dragging the whole group down.

The strategy meeting had made clear that we'd be going after a very, very difficult boss:

"This week's bullshit mechanic: totally random adds."

Pascal's colorful explanation aside, some clarification was needed. One of the raiders in attendance asked,

"Random between what? Five different kinds? Ten? Twenty?"

"We did thirty attempts and saw almost sixty different add spawns. Each one was completely different from the others. We recognized most of them from lower floors, but otherwise, we found no way to predict what would spawn for any given wave."

That "bullshit mechanic" was the main reason we ended up stuck on the boss for over six hours. We ran into all manner of nasty things—like the Coiling Boas from Floor 15, which would wrap themselves around your arms and legs, crippling your ability to fight. I only knew a handful of people who bothered to do the quest they were involved in, and we had to face those mobs on the second attempt!

You can imagine the Giant Snapping Turtles weren't much better to face, and they required a completely different set of tactics. Instead of precision cuts and slashes, big power strokes were the only way to get any kind of damage through the Turtles' defenses, and ganging up on them was ideal. Even then, not everyone could get this communicated fast enough. We couldn't get enough damage on the Turtles to keep up with new waves, so Asuna had to order us out of the room for a reset, much to the groans and scowls of the rest of the raid.

The only good thing about such a hard fight was that everyone was more angry with the encounter than with each other.

#

Attempt fifty-one. No, I should say _wipe_ fifty-one.

The boss's room was empty, and the assembled raiders sat down near the walls. My group—Sachi, Peeler, Aurora, Kali, Collmenter, and I—sat to the left of the entrance, a tunnel passageway to the rest of the Labyrinth. Aurora sat with her palms pressing against her forehead. Kali shut her eyes and simply breathed. Collmenter did his best imitation of a Buddhist monk, incongruous as it was with a giant sword strapped to his back. I stretched my legs and drank some water as a cry emanated from the center.

"Who dares intrude on the realm of Loptr? Are you so haughty to think I don't have a trick up my sleeve?"

Loptr, Lord of Illusions, materialized in the center of the room, and the raid group responded with all the enthusiasm and excitement of a hiker trudging through a cloud of gnats.

"You'd think they'd give him at least one other line to say."

That was Sachi, who sat with her knees bent and shield at her side, rocking gently.

The room was a large cavern—maybe a hundred meters in diameter—so we were in no danger sitting there while Loptr stood in the middle of the room. Dressed in a shiny blue tunic with a coat of mail underneath, Loptr loomed almost four times as tall as any player, and his weapon was an unusual, three-edged sword, with the cutting edges twisting like separate roots from a tree. No one dared go near that thing while we weren't prepared for an attempt, so the raid leader, Asuna, called out from clear across the room to coordinate the raid's efforts.

"All right, I know we've been at this for a little while. I know it's been frustrating: it's hard to accept a wipe when you and your group have done everything you need to do correctly but something's wrong on the other side of the room. That's just the way raiding is, sometimes. We all need to do our parts, and we'll succeed only when we get every aspect of the fight down pat. Stay focused on what you can control, and I'll do everything I can to make sure we resolve problems elsehwere. I just need a little more out of you guys today."

That was all she could ask for. In other games, people could raid for the better parts of days—especially if they had sponsorship and were getting paid to do so. While there was no physical fatigue in SAO, the mental fatigue of going through the same motions and executing the same attacks repeatedly could really weigh on people after just a few hours of extended play. It was rare for the progression guilds to run a raid longer than six hours, and if performance had been poor, it wasn't uncommon to end a raid earlier and put together a different group.

That's what Asuna was really saying. If performance didn't improve in the next few attempts, she would call the raid and bring us in fresh the next day—or maybe she'd pick a new group altogether.

Asuna tapped the tip of her rapier on the cavern floor, looking over the assembled group.

"Stay focused on your assignments. All we need is for people to do their jobs. Stay within yourselves; there's nothing else more important than that. All right? Let's go. Positions!"

The six of us dragged ourselves to our feet, as did the other seven parties around the room. Sachi, Peeler, and Kali trotted out, forming a square with me at one corner and with Aurora and Collmenter in the middle of us.

Asuna raised her rapier, pointing it toward the roof of the cavern.

"Group A, are you ready?"

"Group A, ready!"

"Groups B and C, are you ready?"

"Ready!" "Ready!"

"Groups D, E and F?"

"Ready!" "Ready!" "Ready!"

"Groups G and H?"

To my right, Pascal stood with her group of six. She made eye contact with each of the other five members in her party, and her group took their positions around the entrance, opposite from us. Her long black hair jostled softly as she spoke.

"Group G ready!"

I looked to the rest of the In Mem party. Aurora gave me a nod, and I relayed that back to the lead:

"Group H ready!"

"Very good then."

Asuna lowered her rapier, leveling it on Loptr.

"All right, let's make this count! Pulling in three, two, one!"

Asuna's rapier bored into Loptr's armor, but Loptr shrugged it off like he'd been pricked with a needle. He laughed to himself, and—

WHAM! The three-edged sword slammed into the floor.

Asuna darted and rolled away, keeping Loptr at bay by the tip of her rapier. The boss was quite amused with this.

"So, you think to challenge me here? This is my den of illusions, mortals. Your eyes will play many tricks on you here. Prove that you can withstand Woten's caustic light better than me, and maybe you'll leave here alive. Come, my phantoms! Rend the flesh and bones of these mortals; leave nothing but your magic and will behind!"

With that, Loptr's body cracked like a shattering mirror and exploded with a thunderous roar.

And in his wake, a faint glow formed in a line between the entrance—the entrance Fūrinkazan and In Mem guarded—and the center of the room, where a ten-sided crystal sat. For the moment, the Light struck the crystal on an edge, passing through harmlessly, but Ezekiel, Castor, and Pollux stood at the crystal's sides, and Ezekiel announced,

"Light's on, crystal's off!"

While Ezekiel's group held control of the crystal, a series of ghostly outlines—the illusory servants of Loptr—formed around us. They were faint and epehmeral at first, but with each second that passed, more and more color came to their bodies, until we could recognize them for what they were. The first person to identify them cried out from the center of the room,

"Merfolk Stalkers! Watch for the Backstab!"

You can probably imagine Merfolk well enough: fish-faced creatures with human-like bodies. These Stalkers used daggers, ones adorned with pearls and seashells and that shined from their razor-sharp edges whenever light caught them.

Three Stalkers spawned on my side of the doorway, and a half dozen more appeared around the rest of the group. I cried out,

"Wall, wall, get to the wall!"

Aurora and Collmenter went back-to-back as Sachi, Peeler, and Kali took their mobs to the wall, putting their backs to safety, and I did the same. Of my three Stalkers, one stayed in front of me, thrusting its dagger harmlessly as I dodged, but the other two kept trying to flank. With daggers coming at me from both sides, the Stalkers chipped away at my health.

"I'm ready here, Kirito!"

That was Sachi, who looked like she could sit back and read a book while tanking her pair of Stalkers. Daggers clanked off her shield, and whenever one of the Stalkers tried to flank, she just turned her shield to meet the attack and parried the other.

"Okay, Sachi, these are coming to you."

I slid along the wall and walked the mobs over to Sachi. Kali did the same with Peeler. Aurora and Collmenter began to work on Peeler's set, battering and slashing at the Stalkers with their longer-ranged attacks. When I was a few steps away, Sachi charged, hitting all three of mine with a Rage Spike, and the five of them all turned their attention to her. I backed off and sipped a potion, just as Asuna made a call from the center:

"Okay, crystal on for ten, please."

"Crystal on for ten!"

Ezekiel, Castor, and Pollux turned the crystal, aligning a face to the incoming beam, and the searing, blistering Light of Woten blasted the room—blasted us and the Stalkers alike. The Light was blinding, and it pushed at us with palpable pressure, as though light itself could shove someone into the wall.

After a few seconds, Ezekiel and his group turned the crystal edge-on again, but the Light of Woten left an uneasy, stinging sensation behind—as well as permeating glow from our armor, and a debuff.

_Searing Light (10): The Light of Woten bores into everything it touches. Permanently weakens Loptr's invisibility. Increases damage taken by 50%. Stacks._

Luckily, the Stalkers around us had that faint glow about them, too.

"Kali, you go first with Sachi. Take 'em out!"

Sachi blocked a handful of daggers on her shield and backed out, making way for Kali's attack. Kali picked out the second Stalker from the left and broke into a four-strike combo: she jabbed with her left hand, stopping the Stalker mid-swing; knocked down the center mob with a right hook; jabbed at the next mob over, jarring its dagger loose; and finished with a Roundhouse Kick across the five of them, forcing them back for a few seconds.

That was decent damage, but the mobs' surprise didn't last long. They cut and slashed across Kali's arms. She gritted her teeth as a dagger sank into her shoulder. She pulled herself free, calling out,

"All yours, Kirito!"

I switched in then, and with the mobs staring dumbly from the change in attacker, I broke into a Horizontal Square: over four side-to-side cuts, I shattered three of the Stalkers, and the edge of the Square shoved the other two aside.

I held back, raising my sword to parry, but instead, Sachi's two remaining Stalkers vanished.

"Eyes open! They're going for Backstab! Collapse!"

Caught out in space, Sachi and Kali collapsed to me, forming a protective triangle. We stood there, tense, waiting for the slightest hint that the Stalkers were coming. I watched the pebbles on the cavern floor in case the Stalkers jostled them as they slithered about, but none came. None of us were targets.

"Urk!"

Far behind us, three Stalkers slashed at Aurora's gut.

"You damn cowards! Gotta try to take us on three against one, huh?"

Aurora bashed on the middle Stalker's shoulder, and the creature lost its daggers, letting them clatter to the ground, but the other two Stalkers stabbed and cut at Aurora, riddling her chainmail armor with bright red damage lines. She winced, nursing one of the wounds, and called out,

"If you have a bright idea, Kirito, now might be a good time!"

"Right! Ah, let's see…Sachi, stun the one on Aurora's left! Peeler, do the same on her right!"

Peeler and Sachi charged, bashing the Stalkers with their shields. For the middle one, I stepped in, forcing Aurora back, and once Sachi and Peeler were clear, I finished the Stalkers off with a Sharp Nail.

Just in time, too, for the effects of the Light of Woten dissipated from us and the Stalkers then. The ephemeral glow faded, but just as did, Asuna made the call from the center again:

"Okay, crystal on for ten again!"

"Crystal on for ten!"

Ezekiel and his group turned the crystal to align with the Light, and the blinding glow pierced through us once more, silencing everything else in the room with a howl, like a gust of wind in a storm.

"Loptr's up! Mop up and get damage on him, go!"

At that, Ezekiel shut the crystal off. About half of the groups were free at this point, and they moved over to Loptr to work on him. I moved to join them, but Aurora stood in my way.

"Easy now, Kirito. You took a pretty good beating. You want to regen some HP before the Priests get here?"

I was at 60%, and only the main tanks swapping on Loptr were likely to take damage from his swings. A potion was steadily returning some HP for me anyway.

"It'll be fine. We need the damage on him while we can get it."

Aurora sighed, shaking her head.

"If you say so."

Four of us joined switch rotations to get damage on Loptr while Sachi and Peeler joined the tank rotation. Loptr's hitbox was somewhat small for a boss, so we had only four lines—two for DPS forwards, one for non-forwards, and one for tanks. In practice, this meant whoever had time to attack would blow all their long, most damaging cooldowns—six-hit combo skills or higher, usually. Then, they would go help with any remaining adds that needed mopping up.

The Stalkers had been high-damage, lower-health adds, so we were making good time. By the time I took my turn on Loptr, unleashing an 8-hit Howling Octave in a blazing orange light, we were already past 50% on him. He was one of those fragile bosses that took a lot of damage in a short period of time, only to become unattackable for long periods in-between.

And that long period in-between was coming quickly. The second cycle of a boss fight like this was almost always harder than the first.

"Priests, your god calls for you! Block Woten's Light, so that the darkness may hide my true form!"

The Priests of Loptr jumped into the room from an upper balcony that circled the cavern walls. The Priests were frail and sickly-looking men, but their magic was strong: with their rythmic incantation, an Illusory Rock Giant formed and lodged itself in the entrance tunnel, blocking the Light of Woten.

"All right, people, we're up! Let's go!"

That was Pascal. Fūrinkazan's job was to beat down the Rock Giant and let the Light of Woten come through again. Behind a tower shield and with a falchion—a European, single-edged sword—Pascal buckled down in front of the Rock Giant and chopped at its arms. Two other Fūrinkazan DPS worked on the Giant's sides while the rest of them rounded up the Priests.

"Look out! We've got Hungry Ghouls! Keep them separated as they die!"

Loptr vanished from the middle of the room, and in his place came a swarm of Hungry Ghouls: half-rotten corpses that somehow still had the spirit to walk—and run, claw, and bite at anything, living or dead.

Sachi, Peeler, Kali, and I scrambled back into our pickup positions, and once I had a pair of Ghouls on me, I backed up to Sachi.

"Take the one on my left. Kali, we'll alternate holding kill targets. Aurora, Collmenter, you're on your own finishing these off."

Sachi banged her sword on the ground and yelled, and one of my Ghouls ran to her. With the other to myself, Aurora and Collmenter went to work, and the only hard part was staying out of the way of their broad, sweeping strikes.

But it was slow work, and each time the Ghoul touched me—whether it be with a full swipe or even a scratch—it put another stack of a debuff on me.

_Infected Wound (4): Wounds from the undead fester and boil. Taking 400 damage every 2 seconds. Stacks._

"Sachi, Peeler, you have your Antidotes?"

"Yeah, got mine!"

That was Peeler, who speared one of the Ghouls in the knee.

"Mine's burned, no backup."

That was Sachi. Kali pulled one of the Ghouls off her for Aurora and Collmenter to work on while I waited for my debuff stack to fall off.

"Okay, let's, uh, let's do this: Peeler, hold on to yours as long as you can. We'll try to get all of Sachi's done, and then we'll get to you, okay?"

He made a face.

"I'm pretty sure I'll be zombie chow by that point!"

"If you get below 30% with no outs, just go reset it. I don't think we have any other options."

He sighed, but he saluted with a flick of his spear.

"You got it, boss."

I winced at that, just as a shout came from Pascal's group.

"Giant's down! Giant's down!"

"Give me crystal on for seven!"

The Light of Woten blasted through us again, and once it ceased, Aurora's mace shattered the second Ghoul, and it was my turn once more.

"Okay, Sachi, knock one back, and I'll swap in."

Sachi batted one Ghoul away with her shield, and I dashed in-between to take aggro while Sachi moved off. I watched her health bar and debuff count—each time the Ghouls swung at her, even if she blocked, she gained another stack of the debuff. Her health fell in a steady trickle, and the bar turned yellow. Sachi lowered her shield to take a red Healing Crystal from her belt, and that let the Ghouls land a pair of swipes clean across her chest.

"Kirito, you've lost aggro on it!"

My eyes snapped back in front of me. The Ghoul ran, even as Collmenter threw a mightly slash through its body. The cut hemorrhaged a green ooze, and the Ghoul's health kept falling.

"Aurora, stun it! Stun it before it gets to Sachi!"

Sachi turned her back and ran. Aurora swung her mace around her head once, twice, three times, and bashed the Ghoul across the head. The skull separated from the spinal column, and the Ghoul's head hung limp in front of its chest. Green ooze spilled from its wounds, and it disintegrated.

And Sachi's Ghouls stopped chasing her. They ran back and slurped up the ooze. The Ghouls topped themselves off on the corrupted blood of their kin.

"New wave, new wave!"

And then, it got worse. Another seven or eight Ghouls faded into existence. Kali and I broke back to our pickup positions, and Sachi and Peeler picked up two more each, as well.

"Crystal on for seven more!"

The Light seared us again. Sachi was below half health; Peeler wasn't doing much better. With that debuff on, it was just a matter of time until the Ghouls ganged up on them both and slammed them to the ground. They'd rake at Sachi with their jagged claws; bite with their foul, festering mouths; and swing with their cold iron mining picks—

Mining picks? No, no, they didn't have those. Hungry Ghouls never had those.

But even without weapons, the Ghouls were too dangerous to try to fight any longer, so I made the call:

"That's enough. Peeler, I'll switch with you. Sachi, go reset it."

Collmenter scoffed.

"Let's take a second to think about this. Loptr's went down to 40% on the first round; we could get a kill here!"

"We're not going to survive long enough for that to matter. Peeler, over here. Sachi, go!"

Peeler moved to me, and I put in some menaingless damage on the Ghouls just for the sake of it. Vertical Squares, Sharp Nails—they didn't matter. They were pretty combinations of light and sound against mobs that refused to die.

It made me feel better against the damage I was taking as a result.

Punch! Bite! Slash!

I used my health like a buffer, just taking damage and dishing it back out. My health fell in chunks, and I couldn't help but mutter,

"Hurry up, Sachi…."

She ran across the whole raid with a quartet of Ghouls trailing her. She dashed for the exit tunnel, for though it was sealed further down, once the Ghouls crossed the threshold, marked off by Nordic runes, they shattered instantly, and so did everything else in the room.

"Come on, really?"

That came from the DDA guild leader, Lind, who scraped the tip of his spear on the floor and snarled.

"We're half a cycle away from downing him, and somebody has to go and reset it? Really now?"

I stepped up from the entrance, sword in hand.

"I made a mistake. I let one of the Ghouls stay too close to the others. They healed back, and we weren't going to be able to keep up with the damage."

"Color me surprised! The Scaredy Cats guild was overwhelmed, huh?"

A murmur went through the rest of the raid, with one comment standing out among the others:

"Does he have to try to be an asshole, or does it come naturally to him?"

Lind whirled around and glared.

"Who the hell said that?"

Another voice chimed in.

"Give the In Mem people a break, will ya? They've wiped us maybe two or three times. DDA's botched twice as many attempts as that."

I looked to Aurora, who smiled and let out a breath in relief. I admit, I had to smile, too. It was nice to be defended without having to work at it, without having to fight.

After all, we'd come to raid, but what was this really about? Making sure we could be there and be treated like anyone else, right? That others in the raid could come to defend us unprompted was proof we'd managed that, at least in part.

Of course, Lind didn't see it that way.

"DDA has twice as many people here as In Mem; it's natural we'd be responsible for almost twice as many wipes!"

"Okay, okay, let's all settle down."

Asuna stepped forward, holding her rapier high so she could be seen.

"I don't think there's any need for snide comments from anyone. Anyone who'd like to continue will answer to me instead. Am I clear?"

Various nods and words of assent.

"Good. Now then, I know it's tough to leave it at that after getting so close, but it's been six hours, and I don't want us to step back. I think it best if we call it here."

A voice called out from the rest of the crowd.

"Come on, Asuna! Give it another attempt! We're too close to call the raid now!"

She shook her head.

"Last attempt we didn't get past 70%, right? We're totally at the mercy of RNG here. I don't think this is progression; it's just getting a little lucky, and I don't want to get _unlucky_ after raiding for this long in one sitting. Check your messages later tonight, everyone. We'll be in touch about roster changes for tomorrow's attempts."

With that, the raid broke up. Most raiders used their Teleport Crystals to go back to town. It was an an expensive form of transportation, but more than one raider had died trying to head back through the Labyrinth after a long raid. Tired players could be stingy at their own risk.

"Kirito, Pascal, can I have a word?"

That was Asuna, who trotted up to us with her rapier still in hand. She smiled apologetically at Pascal.

"Sorry to hold you back, Pascal. I'll try to keep this brief."

"Not at all. I was expecting we'd chat briefly before we adjourned."

That's because this was about me resetting the boss. Pascal was the only other group leader around to see what was going on.

Sure enough, Asuna looked to Pascal first.

"What can you tell me about that last attempt?"

Pascal folded her arms and shrugged.

"First cycle was fine; second was hairy. A group _should_ be able to absorb some Ghouls healing like that, though, if everything else is in order. I think, honestly, if you're going to make changes for tomorrow, let one of our groups bring another forward. We could use the extra control."

I shook my head.

"Maybe that's what we need, but I don't know if In Mem would be able to do that. I think the only other raid-ready forward we have is Ezekiel, and he's been managing the Light for every attempt."

Asuna raised a hand to stop both of us, making a pained expression.

"Raid composition is another conversation. I just want a feel for how bad things were when you decided to reset it, Kirito-kun."

I glanced at Sachi, who was standing with the others, watching us from the other side of the entrance tunnel.

"Pretty bad. With only one Antidote Crystal each, we were having to do some pretty serious gymnastics just to keep the damage manageable, never mind putting out enough DPS to kill things. And that was before I let two of them heal."

Asuna looked to Pascal.

"Do you feel the same way?"

Pascal frowned, tapping her fingers on her arm as she thought back.

"It was a little tense, but I think given ten or fifteen seconds, we would've had things under control. We could've just called it a dead cycle and focused on clearing the entrance. If we got a set of light damage adds next round, we'd have had a good chance at a kill. Or we could've called for a burn, too."

I didn't want to offend Pascal, but I had to shake my head again.

"I don't think it woud've made sense to risk that."

"Why? You didn't have ten seconds? Then what were you doing, holding five Ghouls by yourself while Sachi reset the boss?"

"I still had an Antidote; Sachi didn't. If the fight went on much longer, not even a Healing Crystal would get her back to a good level of health."

"That wouldn't have mattered if we burned it down."

"You can't be sure of that."

Pascal shifted her weight, looking aside.

"Maybe not, but that first round was exceptionally good. Most first cycles we only averaged 30-40% damage on the boss, but that time we had a lot of extra time and got 60% down; that wasn't an opportunity to waste. With a good, aggressive strategy, we had enough time to finish him off before the priest spawn."

Asuna winced.

"There's a reason I went with seven, seven, and six on the second round. I didn't think we'd have enough time to do ten and ten."

"Of course it does, but if we think we can finish it, we're not going to spend time cleaning up what's still alive. Let his death clean up all those adds for us."

I ran my fingers through my hair, sighing.

"If we can afford to leave them alive, sure, but those Ghouls get more dangerous the longer they're up. Sachi and I probably would've had to switch on them at least once, even while the rest of the group would burn the boss. There was just too much uncertainty about how much longer we'd have to survive with those adds on us."

"That's something to worry about when it presents a clear and immediate danger, though."

Asuna said that while leaning on the rough, angular border at the entrance doorway. She tapped her heel on the tip of her other foot, pensive and thoughtful.

"Kirito-kun, I think you made a decision for good reasons, but I agree with Pascal's understanding of the facts. I think you may have reset it too quickly. Raiding entails some risk, after all. If I'd been in your position, I would've let things play out a little longer, until it became clear that someone would need to burn a Teleport Crystal to save theselves."

I gawked at her.

"I don't think I can do that. Our lives matter here; that, to me, is more important than killing any boss."

Pascal scoffed, and as shook her head, she tucked some stray hairs behind her ear.

"We can't stay here forever, Kirito. We're getting older, even though we stay in this game. We're being kept alive by machines and feeding tubes. Those systems don't work indefinitely."

"So we should be ready to throw our lives away? Is that what you're saying?"

Asuna's eyes wandered to the ceiling, and she spoke up gloomily:

"We all have our own idea of an acceptable risk. We're not going to agree necessarily, but we have to set a standard for these raids to operate under, or we'd be paralyzed and unable to do anything at all. Porting out only when there's an immediate or unavoidable danger is part of the standard we've set, that people have come to expect. I don't think you did anything wrong, Kirito-kun. I'm just you can give your people a little more leeway."

I looked to Sachi again, for the Black Cats' guild icon sat next to her health bar.

"More leeway to die?"

Asuna shook her head with a comforting smile.

"To surprise you. Sometimes, you don't think people can cope with some mechanic, but then they find a way."

Now it was my turn to scoff, and I stared at the floor, rubbing my face with my hand. Asuna, for her part, wiped that attempt to cheer me up away and sighed softly.

"Sleep on it, maybe. I _am_ asking you to take a little more risk, but I'm not saying you should be any less honest to yourself about how dangerous you think something is. Do you think your people are prepared for the dangers of a raid, or not?"

My arm plopped to my side, and I shrugged.

"They've worked and practiced, but I'm not the one to judge. I'm just a fill-in. I'm not trying out to take this job full-time. I didn't accept this responsibility just to see someone die on my watch. Maybe we won't kill anything while I'm in charge of In Mem's party. You can get some other guild to replace us if that's better for the raid, but I absolutely won't let anyone die. That may be all I can do right now, but I'm going to make absolutely sure that's the case."

Pascal and Asuna exchanged a glance, and Pascal shook her head.

"It's true we're asking him to make judgments based on limited experience."

"This isn't about his experience."

Asuna sighed, rubbing her forehead.

"Never mind. Pascal, I won't keep you any longer. I'd like to speak with Kirito-kun privately."

With that, Pascal nodded to us both, stepped back, and teleported away. Asuna bowed her head in deference to Pascal, and then she locked her sharp brown eyes on me.

"You shouldn't make promises you can't keep. People die in raids. As much as we try to avoid it, people die. If you tell yourself you're going to avoid getting people killed at all costs, you're setting yourself up for failure. The only way to protect people absolutely is to never leave the safety of town."

"Once we're done with this boss, Ezekiel's in charge again. I'm not pretending anything; when he's back, it's all on him, and anyone who dies will be his responsibility."

Asuna raised both her eyebrows, incredulous.

"Oh really? Don't lie to me. If you're around and there's something you can do to prevent it, you'll take responsibility for it just as much as anyone else. No, you'll take _more_ responsibility than you deserve. That's been your personality from the beginning! Why else would you try tanking ten Ghouls by yourself? You're not a tank. You may be exceptionally good at faking it, but you're not a tank. Anyone else would've left the real tank with the Ghouls and reset it himself, but that's not you, is it?"

I leaned on the tunnel wall, arms folded, and looked away.

"So I made a mistake. Is that what you're jumping on my ass about?"

"I'm not concerned about you making a mistake as a party leader. I'm concerned about _you_ and your safety. You put yourself in some danger just now. Why?"

"Sachi wouldn't have survived with all those Ghouls beating on her. She had fifteen stacks of the debuff already! Fifteen!"

"I had my tanks take twenty, even with the Light on them! It was dicey, but they were fine."

"Well, we're not all raid-geared tanks like KoB's, are we?"

Asuna put her hands on her hips and scowled.

"Honestly! This isn't about gear, or experience or anything else! I'm trying to say this: I don't think you give your raiders enough credit."

"You don't know them the way I do."

"I know if you try to shoulder all the responsibility, if you try to shelter them from harm, you _might_ save some of them, but you _will_ die, and dying isn't going to do any favors for _them_, you know."

I followed her gaze to Aurora, who stood with her mace upright and beside her, like an expensive walking stick; to Kali, Peeler, and Collmenter, who had taken up positions in the room and were working out some details of the fight; and to Sachi, who, from a distance, always looked like she was crying, thanks to the mole near her left eye.

"Kirito-kun, will you think about what I've said, at least?"

I looked back to Asuna, and I smiled slightly to put her at ease.

"I'll sleep on it. That's all I can promise you."

Asuna huffed to herself. She was restrained, but there was still a hint of a smile in her eyes.

"It's good when you're only making small promises."

#

After the raid, we headed back to Londinium for the afternoon. It was only two-thirty, but the Sachi was worn out from the day of raiding, and I felt the same way. In a normal raid group, you might raid for only three or four hours a night, and usually not every day of the week either. That was a schedule for people who had things to do in the real world, anyway.

"Kirito? Is lunch ready?"

Well, some of us could rest, anyway. Sachi and I usually took turns cooking. That afternoon, it was my turn. At first, all I could do was put raw meat between bread, but Cooking skill leveled quickly, so I was at the point I could put together a decent imitation of miso soup.

"Almost. Just another minute."

Sachi stood outside the kitchen, watching me curiously.

"What did Asuna-san have to say to you? Was she upset about losing that attempt?"

I fumbled an Uta Bean—a small, white bean, almost like soy—and it shattered as it hit the floor. I tried to laugh it off, though.

"No, no, it wasn't that. She wasn't angry about that as much as _why_ I reset it."

"Because you thought we were in trouble."

I winced, but Sachi's stare intensified, and there was no wiggling out of it. I nodded, and Sachi sighed.

"It was getting crazy there, wasn't it? We really need another forward, either in our group or Pascal's, so they can help us out."

"That's what I told her. It makes no sense to push ourselves in a dangerous situation. Maybe Ezekiel would've come up with some way to pull that attempt out of the fire, but I'm just here to keep everybody alive until we're through with people doubting us."

"And then?"

I shrugged.

"Then I go back to just being a hybrid forward. I like the idea of being able to 'tank' in a pinch or a weird situation while still putting out good damage. That's what's nice about this game, you know? No set classes. Characters can be versatile here."

"Mm."

It sounded like she agreed, but Sachi's tight lips and downcast eyes told me there was something still on her mind, so I asked her,

"You don't think so?"

"It's not like that. When I had doubts about trying to level, you told me I didn't have to push myself if it made me uncomfortable. There's usually another way to make yourself useful, right? If you don't feel like you can do something, there's usually another way. It'd be silly if I told you something different now."

"Sounds like you want to say something silly, then."

She turned aside, folding her arms.

"Even if _I'm_ the one who made it sound that way, don't say it's silly. Eventually, I decided I was going to try anyway. You might end up doing the same."

"So I should skip all those steps in-between and just go for it? Is that what you're saying?"

"You could, if there's a way to do that."

That would save us all a little time, wouldn't it? Well, only if I might decide to do that job again at some point.

I scrolled through my inventory for spoons, placing one each in the white bowls of soup. Steam wafted past my face with a warm, enveloping sensation—the kind that feels best when you're in the dead of winter, and you just need a little something to pick you up.

I breathed in that steam, and I met Sachi's pointed gaze, saying,

"Okay, I'll bite. What did you have in mind?"

#

Sachi's idea was simple: for me to lead a party in some basic exercises, to get a feel for leading a group and giving people assignments in a combat situation.

At least, that was the plan. We wanted to go out in the morning, before day two of the raid, but everyone else wanted to sleep until closer to raid time, save for Aurora. Even getting Aurora was a tall task. When Sachi sent Aurora a message asking her about this, Aurora wrote back,

"Look, I'm a firm believer in not making people do what they don't want to do. That's how we operate as a group when we share experiences and advice, and that's how we should operate when we raid. I want to see it from Kirito, in writing, that he's not letting you push him into anything."

Never mind that Sachi would be among the last people to push anyone into anything unwillingly. But Aurora had a point: I couldn't let my feelings for Sachi make the decision for me. It'd be easier to just let it all go and not worry about this stuff anymore. Loptr would probably die the next day, and then it'd be a week or two before we faced the next floor boss. That was plenty of time for Ezekiel to get back into people's confidence again, and I didn't necessarily want to be a regular party leader.

But, even if it wasn't for that reason, isn't it important to be able to change yourself?

Sachi did it. She put aside her fear of combat and death. She had the motivation: being alive when her friends were dead bothered her. Being safe when they'd pushed themselves to eventually join the raiding group—she couldn't stand that. And maybe it wasn't healthy to feel that way, but she followed through on her motivation. She was able to do something good as a result, whatever the original reasons.

I admired that. Anyone should hope to be that way. For so long, I had played online games with shallow, pretentious goals: to play as well as I could, to learn tricks and secrets that other people missed—basically, to play better than most other people.

But there could be no real value in that. If I let Sachi influence me here, it's because I wanted to be more like her—someone capable of making himself or herself better.

So Sachi, Aurora, and I met in Anders the next morning. A three-man party could still do quite a lot in SAO, especially with a true tank like Sachi and a hybrid forward like me in the group. Aurora would have it easy; she could sit back and kill stuff and hardly worry at all.

Sachi suggested we go hunting for Valkyries. Rumor had it the Valkyries around Anders watched over an NPC battle between two warring villages. They would fly over the battlefield and spirit away the souls of the dead. Those fallen warriors would stand eternal vigil for the apocalypse, though not all were chosen.

Really, all of this gets far deeper into Norse myths than I'm familiar with. Sugu's more into it than I am; I still can't hold a lot of that mythology in my head. The bottom line is this: Sachi, Aurora, and I would skulk around the battlefields, looking for sites where both sides had annihilated each other, where the Valkyries sifted through the corpses in search for worthy souls.

That in itself was a weird feeling. Most killed monsters in SAO disintegrated instantly, but the three of us came upon a stream in the forest, with dead bodies of NPCs on either side. It might've been better if they'd been inhuman somehow—if they'd been elves or gnomes or something else. As it was, the corpses looked just like human players, save for the lack of player cursors.

Ah well. By all accounts, these NPCs spawned dead in the first place. They were never "alive," so this field of carnage was just something dressed up to look that way, nothing more. Aurora, at least, shrugged off the scene and got right to work.

"Don't be shy now. Let's go desecrate some bodies!"

Despite Aurora's enthusiasm, we tried to start small, with only one Valkyrie at a time. It turned out they would fly off at low health, attempting to revive the dead as _Einherjar_, servants of the gods to fight in the apocalypse or some such. At first, we tried bursting them down when they got low, so they couldn't run off, but that would prove more difficult when we got two or three Valkyries in a group.

And of course, the onus fell on me, the party leader, to come up with a solution. Just how exactly was I supposed to do that? As far as I knew, most raid leaders didn't have any formal training. They just played the game and spoke up when they had an idea or a suggestion. It's easy to throw out ideas and suggestions when the consequences are, at worst, a small repair bill and maybe a runback from a respawn point. SAO's death penalty was a little steeper.

I really struggled with this problem for a time, as the three of us camped out by the edge of a clearing, outside a battlefield where the NPC armies had annihilated each other. I paced back and forth along the line the trees as we rested, thinking on a few ideas. We could save stuns to kill the Valkyries, but that would leave us without outs in case of a serious emergency. So what could we do?

Finally, it was Aurora, twiling her mace like a bored student twirls a pencil, who came up with an idea:

"Maybe we should cut the wings off first?"

I stared at one of the Valkyries, sword in hand, and I started thinking out loud:

"Yeah, right: Sachi and I could cut the wings off with Sword Skills, or Aurora, you might be able to do enough brute damage to one just bashing it. We can each take one wing, swapping to put our highest-damage attacks on it."

Once all that was out of my mouth, I winced.

"Ah, but Aurora, this might be difficult: the wings have too much reach. You'd be at the same risk for taking damage as a forward, having to attack the wings from the sides. Maybe you can get a good angle from the back with a swing? But that might be hard to pull off if the wings are outstretched…."

Aurora rolled her eyes.

"You worry too much."

She slapped me on the back for good measure.

"Let's try it and see what happens. A strategy doesn't have to be perfect on the first try. Just keep doing what you did just now: take an idea and run with it."

I chuckled nervously at that, but to Aurora's cocky grin and Sachi's supportive smile, we gave the strategy a few looks. Aurora and I did have to swap rather fluidly depending on whether the Valkyries' wings were tight or outstretched, but on the whole, the strategy worked well, and by dawn, we were able to take on a group of four Valkyries without too much trouble. Sachi's health got a little low for a second, yes, but Aurora held me back to watch Sachi pop a Barrier Blade, and the wall of blue light was plenty to keep her safe and sound as Aurora and I finished off the last Valkyrie.

Sachi let out a cheer, raising her sword overhead.

"Nice hit, Aurora! Did you get anything good from that?"

The loot window appeared in front of Aurora, who studied it for a moment, but she sighed and tapped the window closed, rolling her eyes.

"Just junk. Ah well. We're not here for loot or col, are we?"

Clap, clap, clap.

"Very impressive. Were you guys trying to make that look difficult, or does it just come naturally to you?"

The slow clapping came from a little deeper in the woods. That sarcastic voice could only belong to one person: the girl with straight black hair and icy blue eyes, the kill-stealer Hera.

She rasied her nose and sniffed in disapproval.

"Fancy running into you clowns here. You farming or something?"

"Or something."

Aurora watched Hera through narrowed eyes, and she crossed her mace in front of her, as though ready to attack.

"What are you doing here? Got more letterbombs to deliver?"

Shrugging, Hera tossed her dagger into the air, end over end, and caught it nonchalantly.

"No, we're just looking for something to do, since someone got us blacklisted from raiding."

Aurora looked left and right with her eyes.

"Where's your friend?"

Hera called out over her shoulder.

"Snipe! Look who we ran into!"

The tall, atheletically-built SniperX trotted from a cluster of trees. His perpetual scowl was the same as usual, and he regarded the three of us silently, speaking only to Hera.

"We're not really hanging out in the same zone as these guys, are we?"

"It's a big zone. I'm sure we can get along, right?"

Aurora shrugged.

"That's up to you guys."

"Yes, it is, isn't it."

Hera's smirk mirrored the curved edge of her two-pronged dagger.

"Well, we'll get out of your way. Certainly don't want to be accused of kill-stealing your Valkyries or anything like that. Besides, I'm pretty sure their feathers would just clog up our bag space. You wanna go, Snipe?"

SniperX looked upon the three of us with a cold, dismissive stare.

"Anywhere but here."

"That's the spirit."

She slapped him on the side of the arm, and two of them left together, heading back into the thicket, but they both watched us from the corners of their eyes as they walked.

"Let's get out of here."

That was Aurora, who looked back with equal subtlety (or lack thereof).

"I don't want to be anywhere near those guys. They've got something in mind to screw with us."

She didn't have to ask twice. We could put some distance between us and Hera and get back toward town at the same time. I shaded my eyes from the morning sun and looked across the slope.

"There were a couple battlefields back toward Anders, right? Let's go back to one of those. Keep an eye out, too. Make sure they're not hanging around."

Sachi bit her lip and peered around the trees, trying to catch a glimpse of the pair.

"Do you think they'll really follow us?"

Aurora started heading down the slope, holding her mace with both hands. Her head was like a swivel camera, constantly scanning the area for threats.

"They might. People like them are looking to intimidate others with their presence. You can't intimidate someone as easily if they can get away from you."

That's right. Harassment in SAO, like with any other game in the genre, was easy enough, and the most skilled perpetrators could effortlessly hide behind game mechanics and innocent goals to maintain a pretense of going about their business. For example, if you had a quest to kill a specific type of mob, someone harassing you could pretend they're on the same quest, too. They could target and kill those mobs under the pretense of legitimate gaming. If that quest involved a certain drop from those mobs, the griefer could pretend that they were having bad luck with the drop rate, justifying their presence in the area for hours.

Aurora must've felt that's what Hera and SniperX were up to. If they'd put their minds to it, they could've followed us from the inn in Strjonar. Merely announcing their presence was enough to change our behavior, and that could be considered victory enough for them.

Aurora wasn't about to let them drive us out of the area, though. Once we were two hundred meters down the slope, we spotted another deserted battlefield and went back to work. Sachi had the bright idea to put me in jeopardy for this test run:

"Let's have you pull three or four by yourself, and then Aurora and I will come save you. How does that sound?"

I cracked a smile.

"It sounds like you've had this planned for a while. Is this some kind of fantasy of yours?"

Her eyes went wide at that, and Sachi started to babble.

"Well, um, uh, what if it is?"

Aurora smirked.

"It means you'll have to return the favor later and humor his fantasy in return."

Sachi went as red as a beet at.

"What are you saying? Aurora!"

"You guys do live in a fancy Roman house, right? I bet there are a dozen possibilities with that setting alone."

I shook my head and made for the battlefield, sword in hand.

"I'm going to pull. Don't be distracted when I get back."

Aurora scoffed at that.

"Now you're just asking too much, Kirito. Sachi's practically blushing out of her eyes; you think acting macho like that is going to help?"

Maybe it wouldn't, but getting started would at least get me away from Aurora's merciless teasing.

Using some throwing picks, I managed to pick up three Valkyries. The hardest part was surviving while picking up each successive mob, actually. I had to deal with one or two Valkyries beating on me while trying to get a good aim on an airborne, moving target, but it wasn't too much of a problem. I dragged three Valkyries back to Sachi and Aurora, and they started to go to work. Sachi did a Sonic Leap to put herself between them and me, and Aurora went right into a Spinning Needle to pulverize those pesky wings. I pulled back to let my health level off.

That's the only reason I noticed what was wrong:

"…rise and fight in Woten's name. Wield your sword against the End of Days…"

That wasn't any of our Valkyries. I scanned the clearing and saw nothing—only corpses of NPCs, whose digital blood made the mountain stream run red—and the short bed of grass on which the corpses lay.

"Kirito, you ready to take this wing off? Hey, Kirito!"

"Shh!"

I raised a hand, silencing Aurora, and I dashed from the clearing, into the woods. I went about thity meeters past the tree line, until the clinking and clanging of spearheads meeting shields died away. I cupped a hand over my ear and tried to listen.

"…be rewarded with mead and meat everlasting, if you rise now and fight in our defense! Rise!"

Three columns of light rose from the north, ascending to the heavens and dissipating.

I dashed back for the girls.

"Sachi, Aurora—get your crystals ready! We're not going to have time to play games with these. Let's get out of here!"

Sachi ducked a spear thrust and rummaged through her belt. She searched with her left hand, lowering her shield.

And a spearhead cut across her shoulder as punishment. Sachi gave a muffled groan, and she held out her sword to block further strikes as she searched.

"I got this!"

That was Aurora, who leapt into the fray and brought her mace down hard, driving it into the ground. Colossal Smash ruptured the earth beneath the mace head, cracking rock and kicking up dust, and it shot the three Valkyries into the air. Sachi ran aside, getting some space between herself and the Valkyries, but the three Valkyries' health bars dwindled, each only about three-quarters full. Sachi looked between each of them, eyes wide.

"Was that a good idea? If they get too low, they'll go get more Einherjar."

Aurora shrugged.

"If we're not out of here by then, I think we have bigger problems!"

Couldn't argue with that one. I looked to Sachi.

"Crystal ready?"

She held the blue, rectangular crystal in her left hand, nodding. I flipped a button on my own belt, taking a crystal in hand, too, and we began to recite the magic words together.

"Teleport: An—"

Thump!

A metal rod jammed into my wrist, and the teleport crystal slipped out of my hand. It clinked on the ground and shattered.

"Don't think you're getting away that easily."

That was Hera, who stood poised with a handful of throwing picks in hand. She watched us through narrowed eyes, and an orange cursor spun over her head.

It went well with her sneer.

"How does it feel? You're just trying to do your own thing, and then all of a sudden, someone decides to butt into your business. Don't you think think that sucks? Don't you think that just shouldn't happen? But yet it does! Sucks to be you then, huh?"

Aurora spat in Hera's direction.

"All this because you got kicked out of the raid group for kill-stealing? Really?"

"Snipe and I are regular, contributing members of the raid group. You guys are nothing! You guys are trash. It's not like you were going to put that col or those items to use anyway."

Teeth clenched, Hera leveled another throwing pick at us.

"If you think you can blacklist us and nothing will happen to you, you've got another thing coming. You wanna farm some Valkyries? We'll make Ragnarok come down on you until you quit. That's what you have to look forward to—the same uselessness you tried to put on me and Snipe."

While Hera made her speech, I went through my belt: there was one empty pouch for that Teleport Crystal, three slots for Healing Crystals, and one for another Teleport. On the other side, I had potions of various strengths and durations, but no more crystals.

I took the last Teleport Crystal in hand and started scrolling through my menu for another, but we had bigger problems.

"Teleport—ahh!"

That was Sachi. Her three Valkyries had returned, and as she held the crystal overhead, their spears pierced and riddled her body. Each time a blade cut her, she flinched, interrupting the incantation.

"Don't worry, Sachi; I've got you covered!"

Aurora swooped in, her mace whirling, and she batted a Valkyrie away with a blow to its hip. There was just one problem with that image—enough of a problem that I shouted at her.

"Aurora, your crystal!"

She looked at me quizzically.

"What? We're not leaving one at a time, right? We've got to get some control on this situation before we can port out."

She tapped the side of her belt.

"My crystal's right here. It's not going anywhere."

"RAAA!"

A shout rumbled through the forest, and we jolted, raising our weapons. Under three beams of light marched the Einherjar, fallen warriors who served Woten. Though they walked steadily, they still bore the wounds that had killed them. One walked despite a red, bloodied gash above his knee. Another had a clear dent in his skull, but aside from the hole in his helmet, he seemed no worse for wear. They came bearing axes and shields, but their target wasn't us:

It was Hera's friend, the swordsman SniperX.

Three Einherjar and a swarm of Valkyries pursued him, but SniperX kept ahead of them with a burst of speed. He zoomed past us in a blur, not even bothering to stop and put a hit on us.

"Good luck."

SniperX zoomed away, and Sachi buckled down behind her shield, eyes wide.

"We're not going to get a chance to port out with nine mobs on us. What can we do?"

Aurora glanced down both directions of the tree line.

"Kirito, you think we can use the raid teleport plan here?"

"I have Sprint 600; how high is yours?"

"425."

I winced, but Sachi was still taking a beating. Without a better option…

"All right, let's get Sachi out first, but before that, let's get these Valkyries dead."

"Then let's burn these fuckers to the ground!"

Aurora glowed red with power—the power of Brutal Strikes—and she went into a Whirlwind, blasting the Valkyries with crimson bolts of lightning. Her mace splintered spear shafts, and the Valkyries' wings shattered like glass. I stood by and cut down the Valkyries as they tried to escape for the battlefield. Wingless and crippled, they didn't have a chance of escaping my sword.

We finished two Valkyries and were working on the third, but by then, the Einherjar were upon us.

WHAM!

A shield blasted into my shoulder. An axe cut through the air and dug into my side. Waves of uneasiness coursed through my body, a shuddering that wouldn't go away.

"Bring them here!"

Sachi raised her sword overhead, giving me a guide for where to go. Two of the Einherjar stuck to me; the third went to Aurora. Some more Valkyries came behind the Einherjar, but once we were engaged, the extra Valkyries flew off for the battlefield.

I shouted to the girls,

"Okay, we've got to go before those Valkyries come back with more Einherjar! Sachi, can you stun them and get clear?"

Thud!

An axe stuck in Sachi's shield. Sachi staggered for a moment, and she swayed uneasily on her feet, trying to regain balance, but that the axe weighed her shield down.

And the Einherjar, bathed in holy light from above, simply grabbed another axe from a strap on his back.

Sachi tried to wiggle the axe free, vainly.

"Yeah, um, I don't think I'm gonna be stunning anything with this!"

I stared dumbly, gaping.

"Okay then, uh…"

What could we do? Three Valkyries were going to raise more dead. The kill-stealer Hera watched gleefully from about fifteen meters uphill. We were on the edge of a clearing, but the woods, at least, offered some obscuring sight lines. If Sachi couldn't get away on her own first, that would have to do.

I tightened my grip on my sword.

"Okay, listen: I'll take all three; Sachi ports out, and then Aurora, you stun them so we can get out. We'll go downhill, deeper into the woods, so there's a chance they can't follow us as well. Your stun and your Sprint should be enough to get you clear, right?"

There was a sinister snicker from halfway across the clearing. Hera held her belly and grinned.

"Are you guys feeling stressed yet? Have you realized how useless you people are? You never should've messed with us!"

Aurora and I shot Hera death glares before looked to each other again. Aurora nodded with a cocky smile.

"I'm not going to let that bitch ruin our day, no way. That's the plan? Then let's do it."

Two more axes lodged in Sachi's shield, weighing it all the way to the ground, so I shouted,

"Okay, Sachi, here we go!"

Her face tense and strained, Sachi yanked the shield up for one last defense.

"Go!"

I charged in-between Sachi and the Einherjar, parried an overhand chop, and took the other two swings to my shoulders—a cheap price to pay to make sure Sachi was clear.

"Teleport: Anders!"

She vanished, and Aurora wound up her mace for another Colossal Smash. She shattered the ground and knocked the Einherjar up and away.

That had to be enough of an opening. I touched a toe to the ground and raised my heel, trying to emulate a sprinter at the starting block. Aurora backed off in the other direction, holding her mace in one hand as she rummaged through her belt for her crystal.

But just as I was putting my heel down to go, a wall of feathers swooped in and knocked me off my feet.

"Who are you to disturb the noble dead?"

Three Valkyries—the three that raised these Einherjar—surrounded me, and that gave the Einherjar the chance to come back to me, too.

I checked my health bar—just a hair under 50%, it read, showing me so with a sickly shade of yellow.

"Take this, bastards!"

WHAM! A Tiger Swing toppled all but one Einherjar, and Aurora drew her mace back, ready to strike again. She yelled at me,

"Don't just stand there! Get some distance!"

"And what are you going to do?"

"I still have Sprint, remember?"

I gaped at her, letting out a small squeak in disbelierf.

"What's that going to do against aerial mobs that can charge?"

Aurora narrowed her eyes, looking back toward the battlefield, and toward the sun that was just a few degrees above the mountain's slope. Her tone cold and serious, she said,

"Kirito, you need to run so at least a few of these mobs will follow you instead of staying on me, right? If we both stay here and try to save each other, we're both toast. I've got one more CD I can burn; I'll knock them back, and then we go, all right?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat, and I nodded silently.

"All right. Here we go!"

Aurora spun the mace at her side, and she came at the group of six mobs with an arcing, horizontal swing!

WHAM!

One Einherjar flew backward and toppled the rest of them like bowling pins.

"Go!"

Then she ran. She ran as I did. I ran with my backup Teleport Crystal in hand, but I looked back and watched Aurora. All she had to do was swap that mace of hers to one hand and fish through her belt.

But it wasn't to be.

A flying charge from a Valkyrie knocked Aurora off her feet. She faceplanted into the ground, and her body slid hard into a tree trunk. The Valkyries and Einherjar surrounded her. She tossed her weapon aside and clawed at her belt for the Teleport Crystal.

Another flying charge drove a spear through her chest. She spasmed and coughed, balling her hand into a fist.

I turned aside and skidded my feet on the ground, damping my momentum. I kicked up dirt and grass, and I raised my sword.

But Aurora thrust her hand toward me, showing me her open palm.

"Don't you dare, Kirito! Don't you dare stop and die!"

Thump! A bundle of feathers clobbered me. I kept my arms close to my body and cradled the Teleport Crystal like a baby, even as my shoulder scraped against the ground, and as my sword's edge cut into my own body.

"Get out of here already! I need you to stay alive, all right? If nothing else, you and Sachi and Zeke need to stay alive until this game is beaten! You got me?"

I climbed to my feet. The Valkyries and the Einherjar were in front of me. Far beyond them lay Aurora. If I kept my eyes on her, if I barreled through all the enemies between us, I _might've_ saved her.

All I had to do was keep my eyes on her and ignore everything else. I'd done that many times before: when I'd watched Sachi's health bar instead of the Hungry Ghoul I was attacking; when I'd worried about the other tanks on the Hecate fight, even as Maiden's whips cut and sliced through my skin.

One of the Einherjar raised an axe, and the only way to save Aurora was take the hit. And the one after that. And the one after that. I didn't even need to look at it.

But I did.

The axe head came down and clanged against my sword. I parried the blow, and I countered with a kick to the Einherjar's gut. With that brief reprieve, the cool northern wind raced past me. With the hairs on the back of my neck standing up, I shuddered, shouting,

"Aurora! I'm sorry!"

She laughed to herself, even as axes and spears whittled her health down.

"Don't be. Maybe this world just wasn't for me."

I swept my leg in front of me, knocking two of the Einherjar over. The Valkyrie flapped her wings to fly over the pile of bodies and came at me with her spear again, but I raised the Teleport Crystal overhead and said the magic words.

"Teleport: Anders!"

With the power of the crystal, everything about that scene washed out: the sounds of Aurora being hacked to death by axes and spears, the battlefield with NPC blood staining the grass, all of it.

The game took all of that away.

* * *

_Auld Lang Syne_ updates every two weeks, so look forward to the next chapter on Saturday, November 1, 2014, at 1 PM EDT (10 AM PDT), after the official stream of SAO II Episode 17.

Next time: "Anders, Part Two." With Aurora dead, In Memoriam grieve for their leader, and that grief turns to efforts to arrest and convict her killers, even when there is precious little evidence to prove the murder occurred.

For notes and commentary on this chapter and others, check out the _Auld Lang Syne_ thread on Sufficient Velocity, linked from my user profile.


	7. Anders II

**Anders, Part Two**  
_Aincrad Floor 42 - October 17, 2023_

"Where's Aurora?"

There's a feeling of disorientation when you use a Teleport Crystal. Sometimes, the ground beneath you doesn't line up exactly. Your balance tends to shift. Changing light levels sting your eyes. It's not uncommon to feel dazed for a few seconds after coming out of a teleport.

So when Sachi asked that question, the best I could do was shade my eyes and look down, hoping my unsteadiness would be mistaken for simple teleport sickness.

"She's right behind you, isn't she? Come on; you need to get off the gate."

Her fists clenched, Sachi shuddered. She peered around me—to my left, then my right—as though Aurora might be hiding in my shadow.

I gulped, forcing the words to my lips.

"I'm sorry. She's gone, Sachi. She's not coming back."

Her eyes snapped to me. Her breath caught. Her whole body convulsed, and she shook her head repeatedly.

"Don't say that."

"Sachi—"

"Don't say that! Don't! This is _not_ happening again! It can't!"

She wobbled on her feet, the tears falling with the rest of her body. I caught her there as she wept, as a half-dozen other players stared at the scene. I tried to walk Sachi out of the dirt circle that surrounded the teleport gate, but her feet dragged on the dirt, leaving dark lines behind.

"Where are we going? Do we have to be somewhere?"

Her voice was soft and child-like, the way a toddler whispers to her parents during a storm. I patted her on the head.

"No, we don't have to be anywhere."

"That's good. I don't want to go anywhere. Every place we go is the same."

A knot formed in my throat. There Sachi was—weeping openly, with her tears disintegrating as soon as they hit the ground. And what had I done? I closed my eyes and felt the corners, but they were dry—dry and indifferent and cold.

I looked up the slope, to the sea of tall, green, arctic trees that covered the hills around Anders and Strjonar. Somewhere out there, Aurora's body had disintegrated. The divot her body had made in the ground? Probably gone, at this point. The system would've repaired the damage after just a few minutes. The Valkyries wouldn't remember she died there; they'd just go back to their patrols. The Einherjar wouldn't honor her death in combat, either, for as soon as I left, they'd just despawn. The game would only mark Aurora's death with a short note on the Monument of Life, reducing a hard-fought battle for survival to a sentence fragment, a punchline.

The only people who'd remember were Sachi and me…

And the kill-stealers, Hera and SniperX. Hera, with her psychotic laugh, and SniperX, with his cold indifference to our lives.

My eyes narrowed. My jaw clenched, and as I balled one hand into a fist, I touched Sachi's shoulder with the other.

"Sachi, we need to go."

With her head buried in my chest, Sachi didn't move.

"Go? Go where? I thought you said we didn't have to."

"We need to go. Aurora's killers are still out there. We can make sure they don't walk free again. Aurora would want that, right?"

Sachi pulled away from me, wiping her cheeks. Her gaze became inscrutable for a moment, but then her eyes focused on me, and she nodded.

"All right. Let's make sure they don't get away with it."

#

Sachi and I made our way to the northwest edge of Anders, to the road that led over water to the Labyrinth. About twenty raiders had already amassed to take on Loptr again, including our band from In Memoriam. Kali caught sight of us straight away, and she intercepted us.

"What the hell is going on? Where's Ezekiel? Where's Aurora?"

The others came behind Kali at a more measured pace, but all their eyes were on us. Sachi and I exchanged a glance, and from a dry, raspy throat, I asked,

"Ezekiel? What's going on with Ezekiel?"

"I don't know!"

Kali let out a frustrated growl, and she pressed a hand to her forehead, shutting her eyes tight.

"He hasn't left the tavern, and he's not answering any messages. He's dropping off the face of the goddamn earth, and now you guys show up without Aurora? What's going on?"

Sachi put on a smile—the smile a soldier would wear after stepping on a landmine.

"I'm sorry, Kali. I'd like to explain, but…"

She shuddered, and she had to take a gulp just to continue on.

"I think we need to talk to Asuna-san right now."

Collmenter bowed his head, and Peeler undid the cap on his flask. Kali, her eyes wide, looked back at us unflinchingly, and she said,

"Why do you need to talk to Asuna? Why?"

I put an arm around Sachi's shoulder, and I guided her past Kali and the others. Kali just stood there, open-mouthed and staring, but she turned to watch us even as we walked past, and it was all I could do to force a word, a name, to my lips:

"Asuna!"

She sat on a bench by the waterfront, with her finger on her interface window. The sun reflected off the glassy surface of the water, casting her in a shimmering light. She checked over her shoulder first; then, she waved with a smile.

"Hey, glad you guys are here a little early. Got all your raid supplies, I hope?"

Sachi bowed in apology.

"Sorry, Asuna-san, but I don't think we'll be making the raid today."

"Why's that?"

Putting her hands together, Sachi said,

"We need some help tracking down a flagged player. Do you remember Hera and SniperX?"

Asuna let out a long, drawn out sigh, shaking her head.

"Those guys again? Are they giving you and Aurora more trouble? Maybe they need to learn that a suspension is just the beginning! What did they do this time?"

Sachi averted her gaze, and I pressed my lips together, looking away, too.

Asuna looked between both of us, horror creeping into her face.

"Are you serious?"

Sachi nodded. She explained it all: how Aurora and SniperX griefed us in the mountains, how Hera threw a throwing pick to knock the crystal from my hands, so I couldn't port out. Once all that was through with, Sachi made her request:

"We need a group to track Hera and SniperX down. Do you think you could put us in touch with some people in the raid group who can do that?"

Frowning, Asuna eyed us both for several long seconds.

" 'Put you in touch with someone'? Not a chance. I'll do better than that."

Asuna climbed atop the stone bench, put two fingers to her lips, and let out a shrill whistle.

"Everybody, listen up!"

The assembled raiders gathered around the bench. Asuna stood above them, hands on her hips, her stare as hard as steel:

"Raiding the Labyrinth is on hold. We've got a more important objective this morning: tracking down an orange player."

A commotion rose through the group.

"What? Come on, is this serious?"

"We could spend hours looking for an orange guild's base and never find it. All this over a mugging? A few stolen items? Let's go raid."

Asuna scowled.

"This isn't a simple mugging. This is a PK—a murder—and we have to track down the murderers _now_!"

She stomped her foot on the bench, disturbing some of the soft earth beneath its legs.

"We have to find them now, before their flags wear off, or else they will get away, and we'll have let murderers go free."

Her expression softened, as did her voice.

"I know all of you came here to raid, but why do we raid? To save ourselves and everyone else in this game—that's why. Saving people is every bit as important as clearing the Labyrinth, for if everyone else dies around us, what's the point?

"That's why I'm taking this raid to find the killers. This is part of what it means to save everyone in the game, too. Now, who's with me?"

A little over half of the raid stepped forward; the rest looked to one another and held in place, away from the volunteers. One of them explained himself like so:

"Look, I signed up to fight mobs. Mobs are predictable, even if they're swinging swords that can one-shot you. Fighting other players? Other people? That's going to get me killed. Sorry, Asuna."

Asuna dismissed the apology with a wave of her hand.

"That's fine, really. No one is obligated to join this manhunt. Group leaders, please take a count of how many in your party are staying. If you're leaving, too, let me know, and I'll reassign your players to another party as needed. Godfree, get me a zone map. Let's figure out where Hera and SniperX are likely to go."

#

With the volunteers set, Asuna partitioned a zone map into square search sectors, assigning different parties of six to each location. Still, Asuna had only three parties to begin with. Word spread through the raiding guilds of the manhunt, and more raiders arrived at the waterfront to join, but it wasn't enough. At maximum run speed, Hera and SniperX could cross the whole floor in an hour and a half. We couldn't cover that much territory by ourselves.

"These players—they're in a guild, right? A good guild?"

Asuna asked that question while staring at the carved-up map. I tried to answer as best I could.

"I'm not sure it's a _good_ guild. I don't know that much about KMD."

"But it's not a criminal guild—that's what I'm saying. We know people in KMD."

She closed her map window and motioned to Sachi and me.

"Come on! If we can't hunt them down ourselves, we'll get their location out of their guildies!"

With that, Asuna led the way to the teleport gate, and beyond to Floor 33, where the guild _Kayaba Must Die_ made its headquarters.

There wasn't much time to sightsee. The city of Pentelicus was built among rocks and mountains, and its winding roads reflected that. From the top of the Cecropia, a large rock where the teleport gate stood, we raced down the hill and past the marketplace to KMD's headquarters: the Theseion, a temple to some NPC deity. It looked grand enough from the outside, with almost two-dozen white stone columns and a symmetrical, angled roof, but it didn't look very big. KMD was a smaller guild, though, so that was no surprise.

Asuna didn't hesitate to make herself known, either. She ran right up to the temple entrance and poked her head inside main chamber.

"Hey! I have business with Boudicca! Is she here?"

Sachi and I followed behind Asuna and peered in as well. Sure enough, the interior of the temple left little room to waste. A statue to the deity had been shuffled to one corner of the first room, making way for a low, Japanese-style table. Boudicca and two other KMD members sat at the table, sipping tea and nibbling on some pieces of grilled fish. Boudicca looked at us sidelong, taking her teacup away from her lips.

"Shouldn't you guys be raiding right now?"

Asuna narrowed her eyes, like a general in front of a smart-mouthed lieutenant.

"We would be, if we didn't have to hunt down your guildies for murder."

That widened Boudicca's eyes, and thank goodness it did. Her heavy eyeshadow was grotesque to look at. Boudicca had her guildmates clear the room as we discussed the situation: the facts of what Hera and SniperX had done, that I had been there to see them do it, and the like, but Boudicca wasn't about to believe it.

"What evidence or proof do you have of this? It's not just this Kirito's word, is it?"

Asuna folded her arms.

"That's all that should be needed. If we find Hera while she's flagged, that's reason enough to send her to Black Iron."

Boudicca scoffed, showing us the whites of her teeth.

"And you think that's right? Come on, there are a lot of ways someone can get flagged accidentally. If you can start a duel with someone while they're asleep, do you think it's really that hard to make it so someone you don't like ends up flagged? You can't rush to judgment based solely on the color of someone's cursor."

"I didn't know you were interested in reinventing criminal rights in Aincrad."

"I'm not, but I'm surely going to protect my people—"

Boudicca put a hand on her breastbone.

"—my _guild_—from people who want to lock them away without concrete evidence of guilt."

At that, Sachi balled her hands into fists and shouted,

"We're not liars! Kirito saw Aurora die! I _watched_ Hera flick that throwing pick through his wrist! Hera and SniperX have been stalking Aurora, harassing her, and tormenting her, and what did you do about it? Nothing!"

But Sachi's emotion went by Boudicca like a fleeting gust of wind. She shrugged, saying,

"Disputes in the raid group are handled by raid leaders. That's been made very clear to me. They were on suspension. I have no interest in having persistent kill stealers in my guild, either. I thought the matter was dealt with."

I stepped forward, and I fixated on Boudicca with a cold stare, a stare worthy of Medusa:

"Aurora _is_ dead. If you don't believe us, we can go together to the Monument and see her name crossed off. I'd go right now if we have to. If you really care about your guild, you don't want murderers in your ranks, do you?"

"Of course not, but I will not let Hera and Snipe be summarily jailed with so little as a cursory sentencing."

Asuna frowned, thinking deeply.

"Boudicca, would you give us a minute?"

She nodded, and she stepped back as Asuna, Sachi, and I retreated to the far corner to discuss the issue. Asuna began, saying,

"It sounds like we'll have to hold off jailing Hera until there's some kind of trial."

"A trial?"

Sachi shook her head in disbelief.

"I don't understand. I can't ever remember a trial for an orange player. Has there ever been one?"

Asuna smiled wryly.

"Maybe not, but if this is what we have to do to prove that Hera is flagged still, we should consider it. I just want both of you to understand: I don't have to give Boudicca any kind of concession if we think we can find Hera ourselves. Do you think we can afford to try that?"

Sachi and I exchanged a glance, and with a sigh, Sachi shook her headed for the door.

"You guys do what you have to do."

Asuna sighed, but there was nothing else to be done. She turned to Boudicca and said,

"So, what are your terms?"

Boudicca pursed her lips, and she scrolled her finger through the air, opening her interface. She looked to Asuna with a pair of alert, steady eyes.

"If I show you my guild map, I want to be there when you find Hera and Snipe. Take me and two other KMD members, so we can see that Hera is not unjustly harmed or jailed."

"Done. Now, where are they?"

Boudicca selected the Floor 42 map. About half of it was actually filled—mostly regions we explored on the way from the Floor 41 stair to Strjonar. The rest was covered in grid lines and coordinate numberings. There were a few scattered markers on the map: blue triangles indicated player friends, green triangles were fellow guild members. There was one green triangle labeled _Papi_ in Anders. That wasn't of any interest. Two other green triangles sat on the southwestern edge of the map, overlapping one another: Hera and SniperX.

And below those names were words neither Asuna nor I wanted to see: "Loptr's Prison."

"Damn!"

Asuna spat out the curse, hotter than an overclocked graphics card.

"You still think they need so much protecting, Boudicca? Hm?"

Boudicca shrugged.

"Maybe they're farming for a rare drop?"

"How convenient that rare drop is in a dungeon, isn't it?"

Boudicca sipped her tea once more.

"I've told you as much as the game tells me. What you do with that is up to you."

"It _is_ up to me, and you're coming with us. You'll see the orange diamond spinning over Hera's head first-hand."

#

With Boudicca and her two guards, the three of us returned to Anders. We crossed mountains and streams on foot, making our way to the cavern entrance, where another three full parties had assembled. Asuna addressed the massive group:

"All right, listen up! We're going to steamroll this dungeon and catch up to Hera and SniperX! That means I expect things to die in milliseconds instead of minutes! If you see Hera and she's still flagged, take a screenshot if at all possible. Above all else, though, remember that these players are ruthless and dangerous. Do not underestimate them. Understood?"

A communal grunt went through the group.

"Then let's go!"

Four groups for a common field dungeon—for something that's not the Labyrinth—would usually be considered massive overkill. Even if Hera and SniperX were far ahead of us, they wouldn't stay that way for long with this kind of group.

That was the idea, anyway, but it turned out that Loptr's Prison was a highly nonlinear dungeon, filled with forks and splitting paths. As the caverns branched, Asuna split the group into twelve and twelve. When we ran into another ambiguous junction, Asuna decided to keep the rest of the group intact. In theory, that was for speed and safety, but I think the presence of three KMD members—people who would be friendly to Hera and SniperX—influenced that decision.

The dungeon itself was nothing too out of the ordinary. Along one of the branches, we ran into Vali, Son of Loptr—a giant wolf with the intelligence of a man, but even the most cunning wolf would've needed at least ten more levels to put up a real fight against a dozen progression raiders.

The mobs in Loptr's Prison weren't too much of an obstacle, then, but our real enemy wasn't a boss mob in any side dungeon. It was time. As we moved on from Vali, Sachi took me aside:

"Kirito, when exactly did Aurora die? Do you remember?"

I shook my head.

"I don't know. Maybe six-thirty? Or a quarter of?"

We both glanced at our clocks: 09:26, the time read. Sachi sighed at that, but she rolled her sword around in her hand and tightened her grip.

"We're going to find them."

"Mm."

That was all the sound I could make, pathetic as it was.

The clock ticked over to 09:27. I tried not to look at it, and we pressed on.

It was while we were clearing the next boss's room—the den of Sigyn, Wife of Loptr—that we caught a break. Most of the group was occupied with a gauntlet of poison elementals. When Sachi switched in for me, I hung back, regenned some HP, and scanned the room with Tracking. With an open tunnel on the far side of the room, away from the boss, it seemed entirely possible Hera and SniperX had snuck through this area without leaving a trace. The constant spawning of poison elementals could've covered their tracks. At best, I expected to catch some footprints to lead us to Hera.

I didn't expect to catch sight of SniperX instead.

He didn't look very much like himself. He was crouching instead of standing tall, and his sword was missing, neither on his back nor in his hand. That's all I could make out from the green outline, from the image of him in Hiding. He clung to the shadow of the exit tunnel, totally still.

I let my eyes pass over him, and I said casually,

"Asuna, can we discuss something for a minute?"

She handed off forward duty to one of her guildies, just as a splash of acid bounced off the cavern floor and fizzled through the loose tail of her uniform. She whimpered at that.

"Man, this is going to be murder on the repair bill."

She brushed some of the tatters and looked up.

"Well, Kirito-kun? What is it?"

I lowered my voice to a whisper.

"Do you have Tracking?"

"Not very high, no. Why do you ask?"

"By the cavern exit, SniperX is watching us."

She turned her head.

"Don't look."

That stopped her, but had SniperX noticed? Even I had to shoot a glimpse there, if only from the corner of my eye. He didn't seem to realize it at first, but maybe I held that look too long. Maybe it just looked suspicious.

Either way, that green outline of a man fled down the exit tunnel with the speed of a Namibian sprinter.

"Dammit! Sachi, Asuna, cover me!"

"What? Hey, Kirito-kun! Don't run off by yourself!"

Rapier in hand, Asuna tried to rally the rest of the group behind us.

"We've got sight of them! Follow me, let's go!"

But I ran off before they could gather up. SniperX's footprints faded in seconds. With that black cloak of his and the dim light of the dungeon, he crept around the mobs in the tunnel undetected.

I didn't have anything so handy. The "Disciples of Skade," a gang of female trackers and huntresses, roamed the tunnels beyond Sigyn. They came at me with knives and spears, and only the aggressive actions of the group behind me kept the mobs from chipping away at my health.

"Go, Kirito! Stay with him!"

Sachi urged me on from afar, and I dashed through the tunnels and followed the fading green footsteps. The tunnel widened to a large, bubble-shaped chamber, and a boss mob—a woman twice the size of any player—rose out of the shadows with a straight axe in hand.

"You will _not_ release Loptr's allies! I will strike you down myself before I let any of these fiends loose upon the world!"

The huntress Skade stalked toward me, raising her straight-edged axe overhead.

"Hey!"

Sachi banged her sword on the rocky tunnel floor, and Skade turned her attentions on Sachi instead. She charged at Sachi, meeting her at the exit of the tunnel, and the straight axe came down with a thunderous blow.

CLANG!

Sachi's feet slid and skidded, but she shook off the blow and charged back toward Skade. She kept hold of the boss; the rest of the group had almost a dozen trash mobs that I'd gone right past to follow SniperX. Acid burned through the raiders' armor, and the group glowed with a sickly green hue, their health bars ebbing away.

I watched SniperX's footsteps fading, and I said,

"Asuna, we can't handle much more, right?"

She shot a Neutron combo at the gut of a Disciple , but the mob deflected one of those colorful thrusts and clubbed Asuna across her face with the shaft of a spear. Asuna cradled the damage line on her cheek, and she gritted her teeth.

"Not just yet, no!"

So I stood there. I stood and watched as those ghostly footprints faded away, erasing all trace of SniperX—and Hera along with him.

It took another fifteen minutes to clear the rest of the dungeon. Only then did we find Hera and SniperX. The two of them stood around a vein of rare ore—something any blacksmith would've drooled over—and loitered there, discussing the value of the material.

"We won't get much; there's got to be a high-level smith with them."

SniperX jerked his head toward us, even as we watched them talk.

Asuna marched up to Hera and SniperX and kicked the side of the ore vein like a skeptical customer at a car dealership.

"I'm sure one or two of us can make use of this, yes. So, is this what you two are doing? Trying to scout out an ore vein that you can't even mine?"

Hera folded her arms, turning aside. Her lips were tense, and her eyes flickered over the whole group.

"It's not like we knew it was here. I get the feeling you knew _we_ were here, though."

She peered around me, looking at Boudicca.

"What's the meaning of this, Bou?"

Boudicca huffed.

"This is no time to play games, Hera. They think you murdered someone—that Aurora girl, the GM of In Memoriam."

"Murdered? I did not!"

She spat those words out fast, but she took a breath and put her two-pronged dagger away, going on:

"I did no such thing. Is there some evidence that says otherwise?"

The green diamond cursor spun over her head, indifferent to her lies.

"I mean, I understand completely that you need to hunt down anybody with an orange cursor, but I don't have an orange cursor. Just how long have you guys been looking for me, anyway? Seems like a huge waste of time if you ask me."

The only waste about it was that we didn't catch her flagged. With that infraction wiped away, there was no proving Hera guilty of this crime.

Aurora was dead.

Hera was alive and free.

And there wasn't a damn thing any of us could do about it.

#

"So let me get this straight: we called off a raid, went traipsing around this whole floor to find the flagged player, and she's not even orange?"

At the entrance to the dungeon, a dissatisfied raider stood and complained to anyone who would listen. Already, a group of five or six had joined him in idle displeasure.

"Only because we didn't do our _jobs_ and didn't catch her in the three-hour window. That doesn't make us wrong to do it, or wrong to try, and I resent any implication otherwise."

Her arms folded, Asuna shot a glare in that raider's direction to punctuate her point, but the dissatisfied raider wasn't deterred.

"Well, Great Deputy GM, what are we supposed to do now?"

Asuna narrowed her eyes at that, but she turned her head aside, and that was all the answer anyone needed:

Nothing.

There was nothing we could do. Hera was green now. There was no way to attack her without getting flagged orange in turn. There was no way to force her through a conduit crystal and send her to the prison at Black Iron Palace. She was free, and Aurora was dead, and that was the end of it.

"Out of respect for the dead, and in consideration of the time lost on the manhunt, raiding's off for the rest of the day. Be with your friends and loved ones. We'll be in touch about finishing up at some point."

That was the only act left in Asuna's power: the power to give us a day to grieve.

And there was one person who still hadn't shown his face to grieve: Ezekiel.

Knowing he would need us, Sachi and I followed the trail of tired, weary raiders back to Strjonar. We came around the fang-shaped hill, strolling past the statue of the bearded hero in the town square, but already, the weather seemed to have faded some of the color out of his eyes and his beard. We took small steps on the irregular stones of the road, wary for our footing. With one wrong move, either one of us could fall flat, unable to get up again. It was so easy to stumble and find no support at all to get back on our feet.

But we made it to the tavern, and it was as we passed under the sharp, pointed roof of the inn that Sachi asked me a question.

"So, what did you do to prepare for this, Kirito?"

"Hm? What do you mean?"

"We're about to tell someone that a close friend of his just died. I can't even imagine saying the words, or how best to say them."

I let out a breath at that. The only other time I'd had to do anything like this, I was too drained and spent to think about what I was doing. I'd walked through Londinium in a fog. Here, all the fog had burned off over the last few hours, during the search for Hera. I can't say which situation was better. To think clearly meant understanding everything about the situation—the immenseness of it, the gravity of it—but at least I could decide on the best way to break the news to Ezekiel, on how to spare him the shock that Sachi felt when I told her the rest of our guild had died.

That would've been a help if I had any idea how to say it.

"I can't either. I think we just have to say it."

Sachi sagged a little at that.

"I guess we hope that however he reacts, it has more to do with what we say than how we say it?"

That sounded convincing enough to believe in. I wasn't sure if it was true, but I could choose to believe in it for a few moments, either way.

We made our way up the stairs to the second floor. The first door on the left was Aurora's room, and Sachi and I gave it a wide berth. After that was Ezekiel's. Sachi and I looked at each other for a moment, before she decided:

"Together, okay?"

We faced the door and knocked in unison, three times each.

The doorknob turned, and the door opened, revealing Ezekiel. He was _there_, but he had no presence to him, like a ghost or a shade. His dull stare bored right through us, and he nodded idly when he saw us, waving weakly for us to come in.

"About time."

He muttered that under his breath.

"Been expecting you guys for a while."

He sat on his bed and buried his face in his hands. The lights were low, and a blocky ray of sunlight from the window cast the room in a stark light. Ezekiel's bed sat in the shadows, and those shadows cloaked him in darkness, hiding most of his face.

"You do know already."

That was Sachi.

"Yeah. I woke up a little early and was going to ask you guys if you were through, but she'd disappeared off my friends list. It was the obvious conclusion."

He kicked the bedpost and snarled.

"Damn Kayaba. I'm sure he's laughing gleefully as he watches us drop like flies. He must be so thrilled his death game is a success. Goddamn psychopath."

I crouched beside Ezekiel, trying to catch his eye.

"Look at me. It wasn't just Kayaba's fault. Aurora was murdered, left to die by someone in this game."

Ezekiel opened his fingers, showing me a single, throbbing eye.

"What? By who?"

"Hera and SniperX—the kill-stealers she had suspended from the raid group. We went hunting for them all morning, but they evaded the manhunt long enough for the flag to wear off."

He curled his fingers into fists and raised his head, looking forward with a grim, steely expression.

"So that's what happened, huh? It's not just Kayaba's madness we have to fight. It's the same people we're trapped in this game with. What Aurora wanted to do—fight prejudice and stigma—that's what got her killed."

"That doesn't mean we should give up on it."

Sachi dragged a chair from the table on the wall, sitting down beside me. Her eyes were wide and pleading.

"What Aurora wanted to do helped me and everyone else in the guild. We have to continue that. Isn't that what Aurora would want?"

"Maybe?"

Ezekiel scoffed, cradling his head in his hands.

"I don't know. This was always Aurora's guild. She always knew what she wanted to do with this—even if she made mistakes sometimes. I'm not that guy. I don't know how she went about it. I don't know how she juggled it all. I know about raids. I know about managing people to kill a boss. All of the rest of that, all of the stuff in-between—that was all her."

He ran his fingers through his hair, sighing, and asked,

"Did you guys find anything where Aurora died?"

I shook my head.

"Sachi left first; I was gone before Aurora died, too."

"You were gone? Before she died?"

That was Sachi.

"Kirito…"

"I couldn't have stayed! She—she was practically begging me to leave! I didn't—I don't know what—"

"Hey, easy, easy."

Ezekiel stepped between Sachi and me, with a reassuring smile.

"I guess we're all a little shaken up right now, huh? So forget about it. Just—can you guys show me where she died?"

Sachi shivered, and she averted her gaze.

"Why would you want to see that place?"

"Aurora may have left us some guidance, some words of wisdom to lead us out of this, even though we're all alone now."

Ezekiel explained further while we were on the way back to Anders: Aurora had kept a will, as well as a key to her private chest, in a private container: an Indestructible Storage Trinket. Items with Indestructible kept full durability at all times—even when the owner died. If Ezekiel was right, it would've fallen to the ground where Aurora died, with all its contents protected.

We journeyed from the Strjonar inn to the teleport gate, then back into the mountains. Sachi was quiet, tailing both of us about three or four steps behind. I don't know if she worried about showing Ezekiel the battlefield, or about revisiting the place where Aurora died, but there wasn't much to worry about: the battlefield of fallen warriors and Valkyries was pristine. Where Aurora had skidded on the ground from a Valkyrie's charge, there was a smooth, undisturbed layer of grass. Where fallen warriors had been raised as Einherjar, there were fresh bodies and Valkyries flapping their wings overhead, searching for worthy souls.

If I hadn't been there, I wouldn't have known Aurora died in that place, if not for the silvery metal cube at the base of a large tree.

"I'll be damned."

The cube sat between two roots of the tree, and Ezekiel plucked it from its resting place, admiring the object. It was just larger than the palm of his hand on each face, and he turned it around, letting the sunlight reflect off the shiny faces.

"I thought this was a little much—it cost a good bit of money to find someone with the pattern and to gather mats for this—but Aurora liked the idea of something everlasting, something that couldn't be battered or broken with the passage of time."

He tapped the trinket, bringing up a dialogue.

"Let's see: a Bronze Key—probably for her chest—and a note."

He made the window visible, and the three of us crowded around to read:

_340-3211  
Yamagata Prefecture, Yamagata City, Konida Neighborhood, District 3, Block 4, Building 11  
Terada Itsuki _

"That's it?"

That was Sachi.

"We don't even know if we're going to get out of here. How does that help us now?"

I looked past the note to the unscathed tree, to the undamaged roots.

"We just need to find a way to keep going, so we can find Aurora's family in the real world."

Ezekiel chuckled to himself.

"Should've known, right? Aurora would never tell us what to do after she was gone. We can get out of here and find her family to tell them how she lived and died. Anything else we do—in this game, for the guild, whatever—is our choice. That's what she always believed in, right? Make a choice for yourself, for your future, not in deference to the dead."

He dismissed the note, facing the two of us.

"What I choose to do is to keep this guild going, if we can. I choose to fight for this community she helped build. She helped me when I was lost. I think we're in a position to do the same for others."

Sachi sighed, staring at the tree.

"We can't do that if even our own guild leader can be stalked, harassed, and killed."

"No, no we can't. We need to make sure that people in the guild see that we're fighting to keep them safe."

He looked to me.

"What's being done with Hera now? Anything?"

I shrugged.

"Asuna wasn't sure what else they could do about her."

Ezekiel shook his head, and he stared down the slope, at the view of the town below.

"That's not good enough. That's not good enough at all. Regardless of who died, this is a murder, and they can't just play it off like there's nothing to do about it just because the girl's flag wore off."

Short of jumping Hera in the street and popping a Corridor Crystal to to prison, I wasn't sure what we could do to her that would help. I asked Ezekiel,

"Is there something you have in mind?"

He pursed his lips and frowned.

"Let's see if we can get Heathcliff and the other raiding guild leaders to meet about Aurora. This is still a murder—alleged or otherwise. It's a murder that involves their raid group. They'll want a piece of this, whatever happens. We have to show them they have no choice but to act."

#

Working through Asuna, it took a little over an hour for most of the raiding guilds' leaders to agree to meet.

The barn outside Anders was our destination, but already a crowd had gathered in the wheat field again. This time, they didn't bother leaving an open space for a battle. The assembled raiders had made the wheat field a picnic ground, passing the time with rumor and speculation. Indeed, as soon as we arrived, a murmur spread through the crowd.

"You see that? It's true. If In Mem's people are here, the raiding guilds are bound to do something about this."

"What can be done? Orange is orange; green is green. What are they going to do—hunt down green players in the middle of town just because they thought those people might've been orange at some point before?"

"You have a better idea?"

"No, but that doesn't mean there's no other choice. If we start like that, everyone will be paranoid that the person next to them is secretely a criminal."

"Well that's silly. No one would worry about that in town."

"Still!"

Conversations like that one rippled through the gathered crowd. Maybe a hundred people in all huddled around the outside of the barn, but only Sachi, Ezekiel, and I were allowed inside when we approached. A pair of guards—one KoB, one DDA—cracked the barn door open just enough for us to slip in.

To be honest, I'm not sure what was more unsettling: the sight of Heathcliff, Lind, and almost half a dozen other guild leaders all staring back at me? Or that all these important officers were sitting on bales of hay or next to pigs and sheep.

Only Heathcliff seemed unfazed by the scene. Despite a pair of hens picking at the ground near his feet, he was as calm and unflappable as ever, greeting us in stride.

"Good, our friends from In Memoriam are here. Ezekiel-kun, I'm glad you could make it so quickly. It's best that we come to an understanding as soon as possible, don't you think?"

"As long as justice is done."

"That's what we all hope to see executed here today. Please, have a seat."

He guestured at a bale of hay, but just as Sachi went to sit down, a rat burst through the top.

"Um, seriously?"

Sachi backed away and tried in vain to shoo the rat from the bale, but she had no luck. I tried to defuse the situation.

"I think we'll stand, thanks."

Heathcliff nodded.

"Fair enough. Let's get started, then. I understand that Aurora had ongoing problems with Hera and SniperX. If In Memoriam is still interested in contributing to the raid group, we're prepared to ensure that you and your group won't have to raid with Hera, SniperX, or anyone else in KMD, if that is your preference. We want to make sure the raid group is both orderly and hospitable to anyone who wishes to join it in good faith. That includes you."

Sachi, Ezekiel, and I exchanged bewildered glances. Ezekiel laughed stiffly, saying,

"I'm not here about raiding; I'm here about a murder."

"Alleged murder."

That came from Boudicca, who kept up her hard stare, like a towering willow that stands despite a raging storm.

Balling up his fists, Ezekiel glared at Boudicca.

"There's nothing 'alleged' about it. Kirito saw it. It happened. Don't treat it like it's rumor or speculation. Take it seriously."

"I did take it seriously, only to find my two guild members hunted down for nothing. If you're going to make an accusation, make one that has at least a hint of proof about it."

Heathcliff cleared his throat.

"With all respect, I think pressing on this matter would be unproductive. We will look into Hera and SniperX's continued behavior issues, but—"

Ezekiel held up a hand.

"But basically, you can kill someone in this game and no one will punish you as long as you can hide out long enough. And when you do get found out, no one will do a damn thing about you killing someone, but they'll surely slap you on the wrist for disrupting the raid group. That's the gist of what I'm hearing here. Am I wrong?"

"Yes, you are."

Heathcliff's blunt remark stunned Ezekiel into silence, and he stared open-mouthed as Heathcliff went on.

"If we knew for a fact that Hera and SniperX killed Aurora, do you think we would let it go? Of course not, but the problem is that, outside of Kirito-kun's word, you have no proof. The problem is in the nature of the game. A quest area must be found in a pristine and undisturbed state, so that whenever someone happens upon it, they find it ready to be attacked and used. Dead mobs respawn. Destroyed resources regenerate. Don't you see? Even if there were evidence of Aurora's murder, it is long gone now. There is nothing we can do to help you here."

"And you'd say that even if it weren't someone from In Mem who was killed?"

Ezekiel gestured to Lind.

"Even if it were DDA? Or someone else?"

Heathcliff's stoic expression turned to a bemused grin.

"You came to me for help establishing your guild and spreading the word. I promised I would help you; I like to think I followed through on that promise. I'd hoped we knew each other better than for you to accuse me of hostility toward your group."

"Not hostility, just a lack of consideration. Look, people in In Mem already feel like the raid group is hostile toward them. Hera and SniperX's harassment is just a part of that. If you say there's nothing more the raiding guilds can do for us, people will think it's just more indifference and disinterest."

At that, the DDA guild leader Lind scoffed.

"So we should do something that's meaningless just because people will resent us if we don't?"

Ezekiel looked back at him with narrow eyes, as though they were pinholes to focus sunlight on Lind and burn him to a pulp.

"Sorry, I though the reason the raid group wanted this matter over with was so people could forget about it and move on. Sounds like the same reasoning to me. The difference is that, if you guild leaders do decide to take some further action, you'll make everyone in In Mem happier for it."

Klein raised a hand, looking around to make sure no one else was speaking.

"Sorry, sorry, I know everyone likes to make speeches here, but this isn't world peace we're trying to hammer out. What do you want us to do, Ezekiel?"

"Investigate Aurora's death. Show us you're taking it seriously. Look for even the tiniest iota of evidence that might still exist. I know there won't be much, but if there's even a bit of data still out of place from Hera's attack, you can show you care by trying to find it. You already investigate violations of raiding policy. All I'm asking for is that you do the same here."

Boudicca huffed.

"And if this investigation doesn't go your way? What then? How do we know you won't make some other demand when that happens?"

Ezekiel rubbed his forhead, laughing to himself.

"Look, I just want the peace of mind to know that I did everything I could to see that justice is done for Aurora. I don't know that, after a few days of looking into it, I'll feel like that's enough. I don't know what will happen if you all decide that's enough and I disagree. I'm not asking you to do this to make the rest of Aurora's guild happy—even though that's a benefit, yes. I'm asking you to do this for her, for a human life that was lost, not to Kayaba's insanity but to our own petty, short-sighted ways."

There was a moment of silence in the room. Heathcliff sat back with an intense expression, looking as Einstein must've when he solved the riddle of relativity. Lind wasn't nearly as thoughtful: he blew at a tuft of his blond bangs that had fallen over his eye, bouncing it back and forth with his breath. Boudicca, for her part, merely picked at her nails.

At last, Heathcliff broke the silence.

"Ezekiel-kun, if you would excuse us, I think we need to deliberate."

Ezekiel showed the collected officers a bow—a long, deep bow, which he held for several seconds.

"Thank you for your concern and your consideration."

One of the KoB guards in attendance escorted us out, though the barn doors did take two men to open and close. Once we were outside, Sachi didn't bother hiding her reaction.

"You'd think we were asking them to bring Aurora back from the dead. They were looking at us like we were crazy!"

"I don't think it's that."

Ezekiel shot a glance at the barn door and leaned around, trying to get a peek through the middle gap.

"They've got Boudicca probably making a big stink about the fuss we're raising over her guildies. She's a part of the raiding guilds' leadership, and they're going to want to placate her if they can, otherwise she might hold it against them later on. I think another part of it is that they've made decisions, and we're challenging those decisions. That means challenging them, too."

He stared skyward with a wistful look.

"Aurora used to talk about stuff like that, from time to time. She'd say that an outside group looking in always has to fight these kinds of tendencies in people. She was very aware of them, and she used to tell me things like, 'Even if you can convince a group of people that your interests are in their best interest also, they're still going to be wary. They're still going to think you're manipulating them.' That sort of thing."

He let out a soft sigh, shaking his head.

"She was pretty wise like that. I think she had to grow up a little too fast, you know? She went through a lot."

Sachi, too, looked downcast at that remark.

"We're still going through a lot."

We stood there in silence, for a time. The barn was totally silent to us, without even a hint of sound from within. That was the system's doing, but it still left me with a strange feeling. The inside of barn may as well have been another world, and at that point, we had no way to influence what was happening within.

At last, that world opened up to us: the door behind us creaked open, and in the doorway, the collected guild leaders stood together to deliver their decision. Heathcliff, in the middle of the group, gave the verdict:

"We're going to appoint an arbitrator to investigate this incident. Ezekiel-kun, would In Mem agree to submit to the findings of the arbitrator?"

Ezekiel looked to both of us. I nodded, and so did Sachi, so he said,

"As long as the process is fair."

Heathcliff smiled, visibly relieved.

"Good. We will conduct a search for candidates for the arbitrator position shortly, and I hope we can present a list to you by the end of the day for candidates you wish to strike. Is that acceptable?"

"It is."

"Very good. In the meantime, we will endeavor to keep In Memoriam and KMD separated through any further raid operations, until the arbitration is complete."

Ezekiel raised an eyebrow.

"You think that'll be a problem before the arbitration is over?"

"We resume raiding tomorrow, so it's within the realm of possibility."

The three of us stared, and Heathcliff bowed his head.

"I'm sorry. The vote has already been taken on the matter."

And that was the way it was. The arbitration process only "really" involved the two guilds that were in conflict; that didn't matter to the rest of the guilds, and no one saw the need for the raid group to take time off for one person's death, a death that happened outside of a raid. Aurora's death simply didn't matter enough to make anyone consider otherwise.

With Heathcliff's fiat issued, we met with the rest of the guild in the wheat field. Once we explained the situation, the first reaction came from Kali:

"Is that right?"

Kali laughed. She laughed like someone who'd been in a car accident, seen doctors get confused about whether her arm or her leg was broken, and ended up with a papercut from hospital entry forms for her trouble.

"They're not gonna do jack shit! This arbitration is lip service to us. They're treating it the same as two guilds fighting over a rare spawn. What a load of shit."

"They do need to keep things going."

That was Collmenter, who added,

"Have any other guilds asked the whole raid group to take time off because one person died?"

"I dunno; have any other raiding guilds had their GM killed by another raider?"

Collmenter winced, but Peeler picked up on Kali's remark. He put his hands on the back of his head, interleaving his fingers as we walked.

"Kali's probably right. They're gonna spend a week going through the motions, and after all that time, with raids happening and all, people are gonna forget about it. People heal, and they forget. Sometimes I forget what my bro sounded like. It's natural. It happens. It's just a matter of time."

Kali looked aside, muttering,

"Just a matter of time before someone else thinks they can target us like that."

Sachi's eyes widened, and ran to the head of the group.

"We can't think like that right now."

The In Mem party halted, with Sachi facing us from the front. She stared all of us down with an intensity and seriousness I'd seldom seen from her. She burned with a steady blue flame, and as her eyes scanned across the group, it was as though she was peering right through our hearts, ferreting out any trace of bitterness or sorrow within.

"We need to hold on to what we have, right now—to this guild, to the people we have around us, to what Aurora helped build here. All of that is still here, and we need to fight for it. We can't let the raiding guilds' insensitivity get us down. We need to keep pressure on them. We need to tell everyone who will listen that those two from KMD are murderers. We can't let people forget any of it—not the good Aurora did for us, not the evil Hera and SniperX did when they took her away. We will not be trodden down and forgotten. We won't, right?"

Kali looked at Sachi sidelong.

"You think any of that stuff would work? Really?"

Sachi bowed her head.

"Maybe not, but I refuse not to try."

With that, she stepped aside, and the group started moving again. Ezekiel broke the brief silence, adding,

"I can't speak for anyone else, but I like it. If we keep making noise about this, Heathcliff and the other GMs will have to pointedly ignore it or take action. We can talk to some people on mid-level floors and make sure KMD can't get support anywhere without someone knowing that they have those two in their guild. If we cut them off from crafters outside their own guild, that's a start…"

The conversation turned more to this idea of self-imposed sanctions against KMD. Collmenter went into some long-winded analysis about economic theory in MMOs and how best to punish a misbhaving group, but I started to tune it out. Sachi fell into step beside me again, and I said to her privately,

"That was good, what you said right there. This has been pretty rough on people. I'm glad you said something. It's good that someone is still feeling like there's a way out of this."

She put on a strained smile at that.

"I'm not sure there is a way out. I just know what needs to happen to give us that chance."

Her eyes flickered over the rest of the group—from bitter Kali, who kept looking aside as we walked; to Collmenter and Ezekiel, who were debating fine details of putting heat on KMD for what they'd done; to Peeler, Castor, Pollux, and the rest, who followed on in various states of despair and anger. Sachi looked at them all, and she concluded,

"I don't feel any different from everyone else. I've just been here before. Too many times."

She sighed, staring off into the distance.

"It's not a place I want to stay very long."

I glanced over to her, but her eyes were set straight ahead. There was no catching her gaze, and perhaps that was just as well. Can you really see into someone's heart when the eyes you'd look into are just digital representations of the real thing? Or would it be a mistake to try, knowing the system can't replicate all those responses faithfully?

Truth be told, I wasn't sure, and I struggled with that thought as we made our way back to the Anders teleport gate. While the others said their goodbyes, heading back to their homes on other floors—or to the tavern in Strjonar—I went off to the side, opened my menu, and started typing out a message:

'_I expect you know what's happened by now. Heathcliff isn't going too far out of his way to help us. Is there anything you can do?'_

The response took under a minute to come back.

'_Anything for you, Kii-bō.'_

_#_

To discuss how best to get information on Hera and SniperX, Argo and I met at an inn near the center of Paname, back on Floor 39. Only a private suite offered the security to ensure that we weren't being overheard, and Paname was still KoB's base of operations, so it wasn't unusual for either of us to go there.

But it would be unusual for me to get a private room with a girl, so I brought Ezekiel and Collmenter along. Ezekiel would decide In Mem's position on whatever options Argo laid out for us. Collmenter stood guard outside in case someone tried to listen through the door.

The three of us arrived at 15:30, but Argo was already making herself at home. She'd blocked off the windows completely, even though daylight crept in under the bottom edges of the silk drapes. That said, she didn't seem to mind the wine and cheese platter that had been brought up. Already, half the cheese was gone, and Argo sniffed from her wine glass with dreamy glee.

That was, despite our expectant gazes.

"What? If you're going to get a room in Paname, you've got to indulge yourself a little. Want some?"

Her rat imitation aside, Argo had a three-pronged plan for putting Hera and her guild on the defensive. First, she could look into the guild's history. Most people don't get through the game without a few questionable decisions, and KMD already had a reputation as being rather indifferent to other guilds' circumstances.

"Boudicca isn't an awful person, but she takes care of her own first and foremost, even if they're not the best examples of human beings. I wouldn't be surprised if Bou paid off a guild that had a beef with hers just to keep word of it away from Heathcliff."

Ezekiel frowned, eyeing Argo cautiously.

"You know this for a fact?"

Argo broke into a sly smile.

"I don't present anything for a fact until payment is settled. For now, let's consider it a rumor, yes?"

Casting KMD in a bad light could be dangerous, if it came back to In Mem, but it might also lead people to believe that Hera and SniperX were just as nasty as they actually were.

The second part of Argo's plan was to monitor the raiding guilds' arbitration. We could "help" the arbiter by pointing him or her in the right direction of circumstantial evidence about Hera and SniperX's attitude.

"They were in Londinium just two days ago, right? They had to be seen going there, by someone. They had to be seen leaving Anders to follow you into the mountains. The more witnesses there are, the more obvious their intentions become."

That was no guarantee that the arbiter would find in our favor, though. That's where the third prong of Argo's plan came into play: getting damning evidence from Hera and SniperX themselves.

"Easiest thing would be to plant something on them, something with Aurora's ownership. Did she have anything in shared storage? Or in your guild bank?"

Ezekiel coughed, looking like he'd just heard a mouse speak Italian.

"Never mind what she had in our bank; you're suggesting we plant evidence to incriminate them? That's a crime in itself!"

Argo folded her arms, and she took another cheese cube by its stick, spinning it around.

"On the scale of things, it's not that terrible, especially when it's against someone you know to be guilty. Kii-bō says she did it? Then if you believe him, I think it isn't that wrong to consider the idea."

I shrugged.

"We do need to make something happen. It can't hurt to try."

"Oh yeah, unless we get caught! I don't want that kind of heat on In Mem."

That was Ezekiel.

I leaned toward Argo, frowning, and said,

"Isn't there something we can do that's less sketchy? Maybe you can goad them into saying they did it?"

"Me? Are you asking me to give my body for you, Kii-bō? Again?"

Ezekiel raised an eyebrow, stifling a laugh. I shook my head frantically.

"What—what do you mean again? I've never asked for your body, and I'm not asking for it now!"

"If you want me to go up to these two killers and ask them to spill secrets, my body's inevitably involved. I'd have to see them face-to-face."

Argo frowned, and she put the cheese cube back on the platter, looking away.

"Which I can't do. KMD know my face. Most raiders do, after all."

"Is there someone you know that could do it, then?"

"No one I'd be thrilled to work with."

Argo sighed.

"But for a good cause, I suppose we should all make some sacrifices, hm?"

His name was Kenji. Argo asked him to stop by, and after a short time, he slipped into the room like a snake. Dressed in silvery armor with a one-handed sword and a small buckler, he was the picture of ordinary. It was a vanilla look and a vanilla build.

He sat down on the table, next to the cheese platter. He seemed to be chewing on something, but I couldn't see what. The wad of whatever it was in his mouth gave him an unnatural grin whenever he smiled.

"So, Argo tells me you have a job? You wanna catch some people on tape yakking about something they did, right? Is that all?"

Argo plucked another cheese cube from the platter, not looking at him.

"That's all they want, yes."

"Are you sure? Maybe they want my opinion?"

Argo looked aside, making eye contact with me.

"They don't."

Ezekiel winced, making a slight noise.

"I mean, that's the cleanest way, but if it's a bad idea, I'd rather know that now."

Though Argo shook her head, Kenji went right into a spiel.

"Of course! I always ask before volunteering anything. If you say no, I do what I'm told. But, sometimes a customer needs a little help getting what he wants. That's why I would offer an opinion. No other reason."

He clapped his hands together and rubbed them.

"Now, I understand these guys got flagged before? You could get them flagged again, say it's a pattern. You set up a trap in the wilderness, lure them to it, hire a few ambushers to scare them. Throw a green or two in there to run into the line of fire and get your targets flagged. People see orange, they lock you up first and ask questions later. How's that sound?"

I grimaced.

"I think we'd rather not hire orange players to do this. Besides, Hera was flagged for only three hours. It'd be hard to argue that's a pattern."

Kenji stared at me for a moment—the first moment I remember him taking a break from chewing whatever he had in his mouth.

"Hm, that's fair. No oranges. I understand. You guys are good people, just looking for a little justice. That's fine. I'll play by whatever rules you guys want me to play by, as long as I get paid."

He started chewing again.

"Original plan then. I know some folks. Could put them in touch with these killers of yours, see if they let something slip. I mean, if they're smart, they won't buy it, but it's pretty low risk. I'll act as the middleman. We can start there and see how much truth we can squeeze out of them, yeah?"

Ezekiel pursed his lips, and he looked to me. I said,

"Can we have a minute?"

Kenji grinned again.

"Take all the time you need."

Ezekiel and I stepped outside, shutting the door behind us to talk in the hall. Collmenter, having stood guard this whole time, glanced into the room, eyeing Kenji.

"Guy seems a little shady."

Ezekiel huffed at that.

"Understatement of the year. The guy works with orange guilds."

Collmenter gawked.

"Orange guilds? You're sure?"

"He mentioned working with them, acting as a go-between."

I glanced back at the door. No sound could come through it while closed, but I could practically feel that guy chewing incessantly behind that wooden divider.

"But all we asked him to do was approach Hera and SniperX and try to get them to admit what they did on tape. That should be safe."

Ezekiel eyed me curiously.

"You're willing to trust this guy, Kirito?"

For that, I had no answer. The three of us stood in silence for a time, trying to find a solution in the pristine, white walls of the inn's second floor or the golden trim that went along the floor boards. But the inn was too expensive, too extravagant, too perfect to be of any inspiration. It was designed to be beautiful, and the system maintained it that way. Even a hole in the wall would rebuild itself in minutes.

The real world was seldom so neat and pretty.

"If this is the best Argo can do, let's trust that the guy isn't too dangerous. Let's do this for the guild's sake."

I met both Collmenter and Ezekiel's gazes. Collmenter nodded in assent.

"I'd rather know the people I fight with will fight for me in return, even if they have to push the boundaries of what's right and wrong to do it."

Ezekiel let out a breath, blinking.

"All right. I just hope this guy isn't the type to do whatever he thinks is best, whether we want it or not."

He sighed.

"But what else can we do, hm?"

With that, he put a hand back on the doorknob, steeled himself, and went back inside.

Over the next half an hour, we finalized details of the arrangement with Kenji. He managed to haggle us up from a 50k fee to 75k with half upfront, half after the deal was done. Beyond that, all we shared with him were the essential details: how Aurora died, what Hera and SniperX were like, and so on.

"I'll let you know when it's done. Pleasure doing business with ya. And nice to see you, too, Argo. I like what you did with your hair today."

Argo stared straight at the purple drapes on the other side of the room, and all she showed him was the back of her waving hand.

"Goodbye, Kenji."

He pursed his lips, giving a short nod to the three of us as he left. Ezekiel said his goodbyes, too, and he took a Teleport Crystal back to Strjonar. I stuck around, though, to ask Argo one thing:

"Is Kenji a friend of yours?"

"A friend? Hah!"

Argo held the bottle of wine up to the oil lamp on the wall.

"If you're gonna ask questions like that, I might need another bottle."

"I mean, is he on your friends list?"

She raised an eyebrow, and already, her painted-on whiskers perked up into a grin.

"That'll cost you 500 col now, and 250 more each time you ask."

I smirked.

"Just 500? You're getting soft."

"Soft? It's a fair price."

She folded her arms, freezing me with a sly, calculating look. With a look like that, she seemed shrewd enough to foist Japan's national debt on someone else and not even break a sweat doing it. Of course there was another catch to this deal:

"500 col and an explanation of what you'd do with that information."

I materialized a handful of coins and placed them on the table, next to the empty silver platter. Argo stacked the coins up and looked at me expectantly, so I said,

"I think you know what I intend to do."

The smile faded from Argo's face, and she pulled back her hood, revealing more of her curly red hair. The color was a little darker than Aurora's—a true auburn instead of Aurora's purer red. Aurora's hair couldn't curl to save its life, either.

Argo looked to the wine bottle again, and she ran a finger over the platter.

"Nothing left huh?"

She rubbed her index finger and thumb together, and she sighed.

"He's mouthy, but he's good at what he does. He doesn't cross the people who employ him, if that's what you're worried about. If I were you, I'd let him be. Don't let any of the stuff he's involved in stick to you."

"Does anything stick to me, Argo?"

She scoffed, breaking into a knowing chuckle.

"You're here for this guild of yours, aren't you?"

#

With Argo's help, I kept tabs on Kenji for the next couple days. He arranged to meet with Hera and SniperX in Pentelicus, and I followed him—using Argo's map data—to the Cecropia, the large rock that stood above the rest of the city. The Cecropia housed several temples, and a reddish-brown wall surrounded it, fortifying it from the plains below. Kenji waited at the wall's edge, in plain view of the tower that connected the Cecropia to the lower city.

I expected Hera and SniperX would arrive from that tower, too, so I headed around the Cecropia to another tower, arriving on the topmost level, where the temples and the statue of a woman warrior stood—a statue twice as tall as the temples, visible for kilometers around.

Staying on the upper level was fine to keep an eye on Kenji, but I needed to hear him, too. Beside the stairs to the lower level, there were some recesses in a retaining wall, housing smaller statues and artwork. I slipped into one of those niches, hiding in shadow as Kenji tapped his foot, waiting for his guests to arrive.

A message popped up in front of Kenji. He scanned through it and dismissed it soon enough, and once he did, he materialized a Message Record Crystal from his inventory. He slathered the crystal in some white substance and stuck it on the outside of the wall, out of sight.

A minute or two later, Hera arrived. She came from the tower alone, and she made for Kenji with quick, hurried steps.

"Well, hello there!"

That was Kenji.

"Would've been a shame if you kept me—"

"Shut up."

Hera scanned the area. Her eyes passed over me, and I fell back into the shadows of the niche.

"We're not talking until Snipe has had a chance to go over this whole area."

Kenji grinned.

"Afraid someone's gonna be listening?"

"People want to say I did something wrong. I didn't. I'm not responsible for any of that, but that doesn't keep them from trying."

"Really? If that's the case, maybe we don't have anything to discuss."

"What the hell—"

Hera caught herself, and she turned aside, facing the wall and the steep drop to ground level below. Kenji joined her there, and with the two of them facing away, even high Straining skill started to lose fragments of their conversation:

"What do you mean by that?"

Kenji stroked his chin, as if that could give him some semblance of dignity.

"… contacts … possesses skills like yours."

"What skills are those?"

"The skill to murder someone and get away with it, of course."

Hera shot him a glare, and she stepped away from him. What she said was inaudible, but I could feel a great heat and intensity from her. Those cold blue eyes had melted, like icicles on a warm spring day. The light they reflected was blinding, and Kenji went on the defensive as soon as that light came upon him. Holding up his hands, he said,

"Not my words! I'm just the messenger. … They like that you killed a 'useless person.' … just here to recruit you. … exclusive crafters, a cut of earnings …"

As Hera and Kenji talked, SniperX wandered into view from the direction of the tower. His eyes were narrow, and he shaded them from the mid-morning sun as he scanned the area.

I slunk back into the shadows, and I opened my menu, activating Hiding. I poked my head out again to listen, but SniperX took a position about ten steps from Hera, and he camped out there with his map open. If he ran Search, I would show up as a green blip on his map if my hide rate fell low enough. I froze in place, as Hera and Kenji continued their conversation.

"… get this straight! … not a murderer! Your clients are scumbags, and I want nothing to do with them."

"Not even for 50k col? Just to listen to the whole pitch?"

Hera looked back at him like he'd grown a third eye.

"Who throws … like its on fire?"

"Just a PvP guild looking for people to listen."

A PvP guild could mean two very different things. It could mean players interested in sanctioned tournaments—brackets of duels that would take place inside an Area for player entertainment—or orange guilds that bullied other players for loot and col.

Eyeing him sidelong, Hera put out her hand. Kenji placed a pouch of coins in it. Hera counted them, and when she was satisfied, she said,

"All right, tell me the whole deal."

Gibberish. The rest of the conversation devolved into inaudible gibberish, and with SniperX practically looking me in the eye, there was nowhere to go to get a better ear on the situation. I tried inching out, but SniperX snapped his attention to the niche and the statues within. From about five steps away, he did a cursory look around the statues before trotting back to his original position, in the middle of the lower level.

By that time, Hera was ready to leave.

"Let's go, Snipe!"

She waved a hand, gesturing to the tower, and he followed without a word. Only when SniperX was out of sight did I dare open my menu again. I broke Hiding, and as Kenji unstuck the Message Record Crystal from the outside of the wall, I wrote a message to him:

_'Bring the crystal to the statues behind you.'_

Kenji cocked his head as he read the message, and he wrote back,

_'Don't think we should be doing that here. Never do two meets in one place. People run into each other that way. That's the rule.'_

_'No, we're doing this now. Get over here.'_

"Have it your way."

He muttered to himself, dematerialized the crystal, and jogged over to the niche. I took a small step out of the shadows, and he grinned.

"You followin' me? What, you don't trust me?"

"Quiet. Do you see SniperX still?"

"Who, Muscle Man?"

Kenji glanced left, at the tower leading to ground level.

"Nah, he and the girl are gone. What's up?"

"Hand over the crystal."

Kenji scoffed, wagging a finger at me.

"Not so fast. My deal was with you and the blondie. How do I know you're not screwing your friend out of this info?"

I looked him up and down. I could tell him Ezekiel was a friend, and that I wouldn't betray him that way, but I had a feeling the language he understood was somewhat different than that.

"What if I give you 30k for it right now?"

"30k? That's on top of the 37.5 you owe me for this job?"

I narrowed my eyes.

"She didn't admit anything to you."

He sighed guiltily.

"You got me there. But hey, I said I was representing an orange guild, and she took money from me. Took it with no intention of meeting my so-called employers, but she took it anyway. You can do something with that."

With that, he put the crystal in a trade window, but I stared at the crystal there, hesitating.

"What, did you think I wouldn't give it to ya? Or that I'd take it to myself and pull the old double crystal switcheroo?"

I cleared my throat, and I pressed the accept button to finish the trade.

"It crossed my mind."

Kenji huffed at that.

"Well, at least you're honest. Either you really don't trust me, or you want these guys put away pretty bad, huh?"

I scrolled through my inventory window, finding the crystal at the end of the list, and I stared back at Kenji. He stopped chewing, put both hands up, and said,

"All right, your business is yours. Pleasure doin' business with ya."

He strolled off with a spring in his step, and when he was gone, I materialized the crystal, holding it up to the sunlight. I tilted it so my reflection looked back at me: the reflection of a boy, one short and insubstantial next to statues Greek gods and heroes. Those heroes stood tall and unflinching while I worried about words and shadows.

#

The crystal wasn't all we wanted, but it helped us cast Hera in a bad light. Merely agreeing to hear out an orange guild for money would be looked upon pretty badly, even if she tried to pass it off as merely being polite, or not wanting to piss them off.

Either way, it was the first of many bullets we started firing at KMD and deniers of Aurora's murder. Argo put KMD at the focus of an investigation into an alchemy scam, one Boudicca had covered up by paying off some mid-level guilds to keep KMD's name—which the alchemist had used as a member of their guild—out of the public eye. Hera and SniperX's misbehaviors—stealing kills, going against raid leaders' orders, and such—were good material for the news, too.

To cap off In Mem's efforts to get justice for Aurora, Ezekiel had started putting together a funeral.

The site was Coelln, one of the towns on Floor 43. Though the raid group had moved on, Ezekiel was determined to keep up with them.

"Maybe they can try to ignore what's happened to us, but if we put this funeral right in front of their faces, we'll at least make it harder for them to forget we exist."

Ezekiel had chosen the square outside the "City Palace"—at the point where a stone bridge crossed the river and connected two separate districts of town—because it was a site of significant traffic. And, of course, putting the funeral on the highest-reached floor meant the raid group wouldn't be far away. They'd be an audience for the funeral, whether they liked it or not.

In the shadow of the Palace dome, In Memoriam put together a grand spectacle. Woodworkers put together chairs and benches for guests. Those of us without crafting skills gathered flowers and greenery, forming a bed for Aurora's ceremonial coffin, and Ezekiel, Sachi, and I spoke with the Buddhist monk who would be in charge of the ceremony.

"About the sutra—"

"The Amitabha Sutra."

Ezekiel made a face.

"I was actually thinking of something else. They did the Amitabha Sutra at my aunt's funeral, it just felt a little off to me, somehow. I wanted your opinion on what might be best."

The monk shrugged.

"Look, I'm a veterinarian in real life. I've done five of these services, and Amitabha is all I know. Really."

Clak, clak, clak. Someone walked up to us, passing the monk. She used her spear like a walking stick, letting the bare end of a wooden shaft clatter on the ground. Standing tall, and with a powerful gait, she approached the four of us without breaking stride.

"You guys trying to fight a war? Is that it?"

The spearwoman Boudicca, leader of KMD, thrust a newspaper into Ezekiel's hands. The headline read,

"Kayaba Must Die suspended indefinitely! Heathcliff promises investigation into 'systemic misbehavior'!"

At that, Sachi smiled, and she said,

"We're not fighting a war. We're winning it, don't you think?"

Boudicca snarled, but Ezekiel folded up the newspaper, going back to the monk with an apologetic smile.

"I guess we'll continue this another time?"

"I've got a dungeon run in an hour. After that?"

"Sure."

With that, the monk nodded and headed out, scrambling through his menu to swap his orange robes for armor. That left only the three of us and the incessant chewer behind. Ezekiel looked both ways, checking that no one was around, and said to Boudicca,

"What do you want? We're trying to hold a funeral here."

Boudicca leveled a finger on the newspaper.

"I want to know what we need to do to stop this smear campaign. I'm not going to see my guild destroyed by rumor and innuendo!"

Sachi scoffed.

"You should feel lucky; we're not actually trying to kill any of you. Why do you feel the need to stand up for people who are so terrible? Killers like Hera and SniperX? Your own officer who cheated people out of potions for months? Why do you protect them?"

"These are people I've fought with. They've helped kill bosses and gather resources for the rest of us. If you don't place your trust in the people who fight with you, then what do you have? Nothing."

Ezekiel offered the newspaper back to her.

"Maybe you put your trust in the wrong people, hm?"

Frowning, Boudicca snatched up the newspaper, and she cast her gaze to Aurora's shrine.

"You have my respects, for what happened to her."

With that, she made for the bridge back to town, and Ezekiel watched her go.

"Good. Then it was worth it. She believes they did it. If that's what we end up with from working with that sleazeball friend of Argo's, I'm satisfied. You can't ask for much better, if you ask me. She believes it. People will believe it. Nobody in their right mind can look at what happened to Aurora and think it was anything less than murder, not the way KMD have acted. That's good. We've accomplished something."

Sachi shook her head.

"Ezekiel, this isn't over. Hera and SniperX are still free, even if everyone thinks they're guilty."

"We got the win here. There's no evidence; there's not going to be any evidence."

"So we leave Aurora dead, and without justice? How would she feel about that?"

Ezekiel glanced at the sky.

" 'The dead don't care how you feel.' Isn't that right?"

"But the guild does. Her guild."

Sachi touched a hand to her breastplate.

"I mean, our guild. They care how we respond to this, and if we just give up…how can we ask any of them to keep going? Who would want to stay here if we can be abused and beaten down with impunity?"

"What else would you have me do, Sachi?"

"Go back and talk to the information broker. Make plans. Do something."

"Do what, exactly?"

"Anything that helps us feel safe!"

Ezekiel sighed, and he looked upon Sachi like a wayward child.

"You're safe here, Sachi. You're safe here with all of us. Getting Hera and SniperX—that won't make you feel safe. That won't make you feel relieved. It'll just expose the hole in you that Aurora left behind. You can fill it up with fantasies of justice and vengeance or whatever, but those are just as empty as nothing at all. Look around you. See what's here?"

He gestured the whole of the square—from the benches and chairs being built; to the gaggle of merchants on the bridge, who sold black funeral attire to prospective mourners; to Aurora's casket, which sat empty despite its shiny, chestnut-colored finish; to Aurora's shrine before us, which boasted Aurora's photograph, incense, and offerings of food.

"We're making something here. Forget about Hera and SniperX for a while. Come be with everyone, okay? Let's just take care of each other."

Sachi bowed her head, shivering, and Ezekiel nodded to himself, respecting her silence. He turned Aurora's photo on the shrine, straightening it out, and said,

"I'm just gonna check on the invitations, all right?"

With that, he bowed slightly to both of us, and he went off on his own.

But Sachi and I stayed. When Ezekiel had gone, Sachi went before the shrine and lit a stick of incense with a touch. She placed the stick in the urn, letting it glow and smoke with an ashy, inert scent.

"So we just go on, and whatever happens, happens. There's nothing else we can do, and whatever becomes of the guild—well, it's beyond our control. The game, and this world, will take whatever it pleases from us. Even as we raid and get closer to escaping, it grinds us down. Even if we survive this game, there might not be much of us left when we get out."

Sachi adjusted an offering plate—a dish of glazed pork and dumplings—and flicked a stray crumb off the edge. She ran her fingers over the tablecloth, smoothing over wrinkles and lines.

"Am I wrong to feel this way, Kirito?"

I shook my head.

"I don't think there's any emotion that's wrong to feel, in this time."

"Then what should we do?"

"We do what's best for ourselves and for the guild. I thought getting Hera would do that. But if it means following people around and worrying over nothing, I don't know. I honestly don't. None of us know anything, really. We're just kids trying to deal with something that's too big and serious for us, you know?"

"Mm."

Sachi straightened the last object on the table there—the silver cube that was just larger than my fist. She ran her fingers along the top face of the cube, and she said,

"It's nice Ezekiel put this here, isn't it?"

"I think so, yeah."

Sachi nodded at that, smiling.

And she closed her palm over the cube. She hid it under her arm and walked away with a brisk step, but I caught up to her.

"What are you doing?"

"This is what we need to get Hera: something indisputably Aurora's. It was on her when she died. All we have to do is convince people that Hera took it."

"You can't take that from Aurora's shrine! Ezekiel will…he'll…"

"What? Ezekiel will what?"

I swallowed my words there, going for a different approach.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"As sure as anything I've ever done. Ezekiel given up for now, but if we pull this off, he'll be happy. He'll be happy we put Aurora's killers away. That's how I know this is right."

Sachi looked at me with two large, expectant eyes.

"So, are you helping me, or not?"

I couldn't meet her gaze then. I just stared at the cobblestone road, as though the bits of cement between the stones could support me, too.

I swallowed, and I took two steps forward, standing at Sachi's side. She smiled, and we both looked ahead—across the bridge back to Coelln proper, with its affinity for domes and pillars and classical columns juxtaposed against off-white and gray stone. It was the epitome of history in that way, full of contradictions and conflicting ideas.

The path ahead of us was complicated, too, and unlike in Coelln, there was no safe bridge to show us the way.

* * *

_Auld Lang Syne_ updates every two weeks, so look forward to the next chapter on Saturday, November 15, 2014, at 1 PM EST (10 AM PST), after the official stream of SAO II Episode 19.

Next time: "Coelln." With the means to put the murderers away in hand, Kirito and Sachi devise a plot to incriminate Hera, but Kirito soon realizes that imprisoning Hera will do little to deal with their grief.

For notes and commentary on this chapter and others, check out the Auld Lang Syne thread on Sufficient Velocity, linked from my user profile.


	8. Coelln

**Coelln**  
_Aincrad Floor 43 - October 21, 2023_

Though SAO was designed for close group combat against teams of monsters or other players, you could pull off a larger, distributed operation within the confines of the game, too, if you were willing to fight the game a bit.

First off, there was no real-time audio or video communication in SAO: as antiquated as it seemed, players could only exchange text-based messages, and even then, only when both players were outside of dungeons. The game did provide a voice-recognition system to make dictating these messages easier, but it was still quite clunky. Real-time video had been promised as a future development, but I think it's clear that Kayaba had no intention of following through with that promise. Party and friend messages may have been unlimited in range, but you still had to have the presence of mind to read them.

Second, sight range was somewhat limited. You couldn't stand on a hill and see for kilometers and kilometers around—not in full detail, at least. Yes, you would see the shape of the landscape, but beyond, say, two hundred meters, you would never see another player or mob (unless that mob was at least twice as large as a regular mob—for instance, a field boss). Even in some large towns, that sight range could be an issue. You could look at a street and see nothing, when in fact a whole market was operating there. So to maintain sight on a large battlefield, you needed someone keeping close tabs on every part of the area of interest.

The specific location could also pose a challenge. Coelln was a city in the medieval European style, boasting steeply slanted roofs that made it difficult to observe someone covertly. While the streets were wide, the alleys weren't nearly so spacious, so someone could easily disappear between buildings.

These were the challenges we faced in trying to plant evidence of Aurora's murder.

#

On the roof of a church, I lay in wait. In one hand, I kept a Copper Spyglass. In the other, a Bronze Key. The spyglass was functional: I spied on the streets of Coelln, watched people wander and turn down every bend. The key was functional, too, but only in a strict sense.

To pass the time, I spun the key by its large, oval-shaped bow. Like us, the key didn't really have a place to go, a place to belong, until Hera was dealt with and justice served. Not like the key would care, of course. For the moment, I spun it around my finger and glanced now and again between the street and the corner of my interface.

_Kali: They're on the move._

Finally. That message popped up in my party chat window, and I grasped the key tight in my hand. I put the spyglass to my eye, and from the roof of a large church, I looked down on the streets of Coelln, keeping watch on the inn across the road. Black-haired Hera and her friend, the lean and athletic SniperX, left through the inn's main door. I watched their path, speaking to myself, and the words appeared in the party chat window:

"They're going west. Any idea where exactly?"

_Kali: My Straining isn't that high._

About ten steps behind the guilty pair was Kali. She bobbed and ducked through the crowded street, slipping through tight spaces between passers-by with deft ease.

_Collmenter: My neighbor here is a little nosy. Please tell me we have something._

Hera and SniperX came under the shadow of the church and turned south, passing right below me.

"I think we do; looks like they're coming your way, Collmenter. I'm repositioning. Sachi, do you have them?"

_Sachi: Not yet. Can you show me?_

I scurried along the edge of the roof until Hera and SniperX were right below me. I waved my spyglass, and about three blocks down the way, seated atop a row of yellow townhouses, I saw a glint of light in return.

_Sachi: Got them now. Go ahead, Kirito._

I scampered off the church roof and walked a long, looping route around, past the yellow townhouses, and to the back side of the area those townhouses enclosed: a bustling square, with flimsy wooden stalls and mats laid out on the ground. The stalls divided the square into a narrow, winding path. Interested players formed a line out the corner of the square, for if two people in plate armor stopped at opposite stalls, the whole line would come to a halt.

I climbed up the side of another townhouse on the opposite side of the square, away from Sachi, and established a new perch. About three-quarters of the square's width in front of me sat Collmenter: he manned a lonely, ramshackle wooden stall with an array of skinning knives, pickaxes, and other tools. His "neighbor"—a guy with dark hair and glasses—never seemed to shut his mouth, and it was all Collmenter could do to rub his temple, close his eyes, and listen to the guy's yammering.

_Sachi: Your friend's quite chatty, isn't he, Collmenter?_

Collmenter looked straight at me with a look of utter helplessness, but the other merchant bumped into Collmenter's stall, knocking a pair of pickaxes to the ground. All Collmenter could do was sigh and shake his head, so I offered him some support:

"I know; what else can you do, right?"

Collmenter nodded, but his neighbor just kept on yammering away.

_Kali: Is this guy going to cause problems? Hera and SniperX are at the market now._

I trained my spyglass to the left. Sure enough, our targets were at the beginning of the winding path through the market. Hera was already having an animated exchange with one merchant near the start of the path.

_Kali: Yep, she's asking about throwing picks. Practically berating the guy for not having any._

It was the same story at every other merchant in the market. Hera and SniperX pushed their way through the crowded square, coming up empty at each stall.

That was until they met Collmenter, who had not only skinning knives and pickaxes on display but a wide variety of throwing picks, of several weights and damage ranges. Never mind that Collmenter wasn't a real merchant, or that even if he were, it would be quite strange for him to come across such a treasure trove of throwing picks when everyone else on the floor had run out. I'm sure it's just a coincidence.

Anyway, I'm told Hera and Collmenter's meeting went something like this:

"Why the hell is it you're the only one with any picks in this whole damn market?"

Hera was never one to make her speech too polite, but Collmenter just shrugged off her curses.

"I just set up shop here. No one's been around to buy any from me. Maybe you'd like to be the first? The best I have are these +4 Sapphire Penetrators. Why don't you try one and see if you like the balance?"

Hera took up one of the gem-studded picks, holding it between two fingers to test the weight. She pursed her lips in approval.

"Pretty nice. What's the recovery rate?"

"Upwards of 80%."

"That'd better not be with luck."

Collmenter shrugged.

"I'm only dishonest with customers who try to cheat me. As far as I'm concerned, you're perfectly reasonable if you're willing to pay 35k for a stack of these."

"35k? You're out of your mind! I can get a stack of +3 Iron Piercers for 17!"

"If that's the price of your time, don't let me stop you. I just set the price; you're the one who decides if it's fair."

Hera put her hands on her hips, frowning.

"Hmph. Not many people here are that agreeable. I think 30k per stack would be fair. What do you think, Snipe?"

SniperX tossed a throwing pick aside like a children's toy.

"I think you don't need to overpay when I can pull for you instead."

She raised an eyebrow coyly.

"It's not that I doubt you, Snipe, but I'm not getting up close to anything right now until it's far away from everything else around."

She put the gem-studded pick down, looking to Collmenter.

"Two stacks of Penetrators for 60k. That's my offer."

Collmenter sighed.

"I don't know. If you could take some added inventory off my hands, I would be willing to meet that price."

SniperX frowned at that.

"Do we look like we want to buy more stuff? Don't try to push something on to us. We're here two stacks of picks. That's all."

"I'm only offering something that could be beneficial to both of us. If you hear me out and still just want the two stacks of picks, I'll honor that. What do you say?"

Hera put her hands on her hips and sighed.

"Hurry it up then."

"I will. In short, I have some items that I'm trying to get rid of in a hurry. Some of them were gifts from a woman who has…misinterpreted our professional dealings, let's say. The longer I hold on to them, the more she interprets my actions as returning her affections, you see."

"Why not just destroy them?"

"What better way to show that I'm heartless and indifferent than by selling the things she gave me? And besides, some things can't be destroyed."

Collmenter placed the Indestructible Storage Trinket before Hera, explaining,

"This little thing was supposed to be an eternal reminder of our love, or some such nonsense. Turns out it can't be destroyed. I've thrown it away, but since no one will take it up, it just returns to my inventory once the discard period times out. I need to sell this thing, just for peace of mind. Otherwise, I have no way to get rid of it."

Hera eyed him quizzically.

"You're trying to dump something with Indestructible? Are you serious?"

"What, do you think it's really valuable on a tiny container like that?"

Hera and SniperX exchanged a glance. Then, Hera smiled to herself.

"You're right; it's probably not worth much of anything. How much do you want for it?"

"I'd settle for 15k. I do have my pride, you see."

Hera let out a long, drawn out sigh.

"Oh, well, I _guess_ I can take it off your hands for that, if you can keep another couple stacks of picks on reserve for me."

"Gladly! Is there anything else I can interest you in? I have—"

"I'm already doing you a favor here, right? Don't push your luck."

"Of course."

The two of them consummated the trade, and Hera practically skipped away in glee. Once she and SniperX were five steps from Collmenter's booth, they high-fived each other.

"What a moron! That guy may have been sharp about his picks, but he had no clue what a valuable item he had on his hands! Make sure you come up with a list of smiths who might be interested in melting this down, Snipe. We're gonna have to make sure they all know we're trying to sell this and gouge them out the eyeballs for it. You got me?"

_Kali: Sounds like Hera's hooked on selling the trinket herself. We won't even need to do anything to get it out of her hands. Nice job, Collmenter. Now, can we all get out of here?_

That didn't seem likely: the merchant on Collmenter's left was at it again, pestering him with animated gestures.

"Something's going on with that annoying merchant next to Collmenter. Kali, can you listen in and tell us what's going on?"

Kali turned around and pushed her way through the dense crowd, back to Collmenter's stand.

_Kali: It sounds like he thinks Collmenter is running a scam. No way anyone as sharp as Collmenter was with the picks would miss how valuable an item with Indestructible is. He wants in on the action._

_Sachi: There is no action; this isn't a scam for making money! Collmenter, can't you tell him off?_

Collmenter and the merchant exchanged some words, but the merchant cocked his head and scoffed.

_Kali: He's not buying it._

I put down my spyglass and rubbed my eye. How else could we get this stranger out of our business? If he spoke even a word to Hera—

_Kali: Oh, what the hell? Kirito? Kirito, are you seeing this? Hello? Kirito? Get down here!_

My heart skipped a beat; Kali was practically having a meltdown, and why?

Because Sachi come down from her perch and had stormed in front of the merchant's stand.

I scrambled down from the rooftop and fought my way through the market crowd. The wall of bodies battered and shoved me around like a pinball, but when I got close enough, Sachi's voice rang out over the din loud and clear.

"Why are you bothering us? Why are you getting in our way?"

The merchant straightened his glasses, and he smiled casually.

"Look, I can see that you guys have something big going. I just want a piece, all right? I've seen those two around here before; I could be of some help, you know?"

Sachi slammed a hand down on the merchant's stand, jostling a few vials of potions.

"We don't want help from you! This isn't what you think! This is about justice! This is about what's right! Why do you want to stop that? Why? Are you on their side? Are you?"

I caught up, and I forced my way to Sachi's side.

"Easy, easy! Keep your voice down!"

She glared at me, but she turned her head away, taking a heavy breath, shuddering as her chest rose and fell.

The merchant stared at us and Collmenter for a few seconds before adjusting his glasses again and smiling.

"Hey, I like justice as much as the next guy, but with a trinket like that? With Indestructible? You can't tell me you guys don't have something on hand for compensation."

I narrowed my eyes and said,

"Fine. How much do you want?"

Sachi snapped around, and she covered her mouth with her hand.

"Kirito, that's the guild's money. That's Black Cats' money!"

I winced.

"What else can we do?"

Sachi sighed at that, and she nodded, stepping away again as she stared at the sky. I met the merchant's eyes once more.

"How much?"

The merchant grinned, practically jumping out of his skin.

"Two million!"

"One."

"One and a half?"

One and a half million col. That was the price for Hera's capture and the merchant's silence.

The potion merchant demanded half his promised sum by the end of the day, so I left Collmenter and Sachi to watch him while Kali headed back to tail Hera. I returned to Londinium to fetch the money alone.

Our house in Londinium had been our base of operations over the past few days. Once we'd recruited Kali and Collmenter for the operation, we'd put together maps of the Coelln market and of Hera and SniperX's usual farming spots. Those maps were safely tucked away in our inventories, but the evidence of having drawn them up remained in the house: the couches in the dining room sat arranged in a rough triangle shape, with the iron endtables scattered about the rest of the room. They bore empty bowls and plates, but none of the dishes had a single crumb left on them. After all, the food had lost durability a long time ago.

The money was kept in a chest in our bedroom—a chest that was neither mine nor Sachi's but the guild's, marked with the emblem of cat sitting atop the crescent moon. I tapped the chest's lock, and I scrolled through the contents: potions, crystals, metal ore for Tetsuo's breastplate upgrade, and the like. At the very bottom of the list was the total amount of col: a little over two million. Keita had been smart; he wasn't about to buy a new guild house without at least a little spending money left.

Strictly speaking, the amount of col in that chest had gone up and down over the course of the year. Who was to say any of the money in there was the same money Black Cats had left us? Maybe you could say we'd spent all that money already, and everything that was left in the chest was ours and ours alone, to do whatever we wanted with.

You could say that, at least. I wasn't sure it'd be true.

I tapped the up arrow on the window, incrementing the amount to withdraw. It would've been faster to hold the button down, but I tapped it with short, staccato motions, feeling every last change of the digits.

I was only up to 730k when three knocks rang out from the door.

I snatched the rest of the money from the chest, adding it to my own inventory. I closed a curtain to the kitchen, blocking off the mess of scattered dishes within, and I answered the door.

I found Ezekiel there.

"You haven't been around."

He watched me through narrow, wary eyes.

"The wake's tomorrow."

I looked away.

"I know. We'll be there. Things have just been busy."

"Busy implicating Hera?"

I shuddered, and I didn't answer, but Ezekiel stepped in front of me, catching my eye.

"The trinket's gone. I was going to say it was an eternal symbol of Aurora. I was going to hold it up at the wake for everyone to see, until I realized it was gone. You and Sachi were the only other people who knew what it meant. Where is it?"

"I'm sorry, Ezekiel. Hera has it now."

"Already? You didn't let her take everything, did you? The key? The note?"

I opened my left hand, showing Ezekiel the Bronze Key.

"We made copies of the note, but we had to leave the original there."

"Is that right?"

Ezekiel shook his head, pursing his lips bitterly.

"Well, fine. Let her keep it. It'd be fitting if Aurora stuck around her that way. Let the specter of that murder haunt her for the rest of her life. That'll do."

My gaze hardened.

"You know that's not where this ends."

"But it should!"

Ezekiel rubbed his forehead.

"Come on, you know this is insanity. If you get caught—"

"We won't."

"You don't know that! You don't! So let's sit down and talk about this."

"Why? What do you think we should do?"

"Let it go. Let it go already. Getting those two put away will not help you grieve. Come back to the funeral preparations. Come be with the guild."

I shook my head.

"The guild is with us already. We asked people to help us, and they joined up in a heartbeat. They want Hera put away as much as Sachi and I do."

Ezekiel scoffed, gaping, and he paced around the entryway, looking at me sidelong.

"Is this what you're doing? You're recruiting a shadow guild?"

"That's not what this is."

"Isn't it?"

We stared at each other for a beat before Ezekiel broke off. He looked to the sculpture in the atrium, and he had this weary, resigned look about him, like an artist whose chisel has snapped in front of a half-shapen block of marble.

"Fine. Will you tell Sachi what I said, at least? Ask her to come to me; we can work this out together. I still believe that."

"I'll mention it. Sorry, but I have to go."

"All right."

He stepped out, back into the breezy autumn day. A gust of wind blew past him, making him unsteady on his feet, and he said,

"I just want to know I have your trust, Kirito—from you and Sachi both."

"You have that."

He raised an eyebrow, but he said nothing more, and I closed the door behind him.

And then I waited.

And I waited.

And only after five good minutes did I realize I could use a Teleport Crystal to go back to Coelln, rather than walk the same route back to the teleport gate.

When I made it back to the Coelln market, I found the merchant had gone, leaving his stall unattended. Apparently, I was supposed to leave the money with Collmenter until he returned. Fine. That didn't bother me. It wasn't like Collmenter was likely to steal our money, after all. Sachi could keep an eye on things anyway, until the merchant came back.

But the roofs of the yellow townhouses were empty. Sachi had gone.

"She followed him."

That was Collmenter.

"She didn't want to risk he'd go tip off Hera while we weren't looking."

I grimaced, shaking my head.

"That could just let him know we're watching him. He knows her face."

Collmenter shrugged.

"She wasn't supposed to come down and show her face in the first place, but that didn't stop her—or you—did it?"

With those words ringing in my ears, I headed across town, toward Sachi's map marker. I found her on the outskirts of the Area, watching the potion merchant from afar. He'd gone to a poorer, rundown area by the river, engaging an old woman NPC in some transaction, or perhaps a quest. Either way, he seemed more than happy to wait while the NPC picked herbs and plants from the riverbank. Sachi watched him from a bridge downriver, just daring to poke her spyglass over the bridge's stone railing.

"He hasn't met with anyone other than her. I think he's buying some reagents."

She didn't even bother to look away from her spyglass. Still, I touched her shoulder and said,

"You shouldn't be here. Let's recruit someone else to watch him. Or we can't get Kali."

"Kali has to watch Hera. There isn't anyone else with the right attitude."

"Sachi—"

"I'm not letting this scam artist stop us. How many people do you think he's ripped off with watered-down potions or unstable products? With his attitude, I bet it's a lot. He won't be happy with just our money. We need to keep an eye on him. We need to make sure he behaves."

I shuddered.

"Or what?"

At that, Sachi finally pulled back from the spyglass, eyeing me with a puzzled look.

"What do you mean?"

"If he doesn't behave, then what?"

She grimaced, and she put her eye back to the lens again.

"Then he's just as bad as Hera. He's an accomplice, right? An accessory to her crimes? He and SniperX can both go to jail and suffer the way Hera will. They'll deserve it, if that's the case."

I crouched beside Sachi and peered over the stone railing. The potion merchant was in no hurry as he followed the NPC around. His steps were light and springy. It was like he was doing a little dance every time he walked, as though 750 thousand col was already buoying his step.

"You see that? People could look at him and tell he's struck it rich. How disgusting."

"Sachi…"

"Hm? What is it?"

I squeezed the key in my left hand, feeling the inside of the oval-shaped bow with my finger.

"I saw Ezekiel just now."

"You did?"

Again, her eye wouldn't leave the spyglass.

"Does he know?"

"He does. He wants to meet; he wants us to stop."

"That's not happening."

Her voice was flat, totally certain.

"I mean, we're too close to getting Hera now, right? When do you want to talk to Liz? Tomorrow?"

I pulled at my collar and gulped.

"Maybe the day after that. I mean, we can see how much Hera's shopped the trinket around by tomorrow. Let's call it a day."

"I'm not leaving."

"He could send Hera a message at any time. It's pointless to keep watch."

"But if they want to exchange cash, they have to do that in person."

She looked up, smiling.

"I'll be discreet; I promise. I'll come home once it's dark. They probably won't have a meeting after dark, right? I know I wouldn't."

I nodded once, but my throat was like a gummed-up gear, and before I could clear it, her eyes were on the spyglass once more. My heart froze to see that. It was like ice crystals grew inside me and started poking out of my skin, but I was so cold already, I was numb to it.

The only part of me that was still warm, that still had the heat of life to it, was the Bronze Key in my left hand. It trobbed and pulsed with the heat of life—of Aurora's life and determination, of everything she stood for.

So hot it was that I could only hold it by two fingers as I placed the key atop the stone railing, next to Sachi's spyglass.

"Hm? What's this?"

Sachi picked it up with her whole hand, turning it over.

"Why, Kirito?"

I looked aside, shrugging.

"I keep playing with it. It might be better if you held on to it. It doesn't belong in my hand anymore."

Her eyes flickered to me quizzically, but she laid the key aside and spied on the potion merchant once more.

And with that, I took my leave of Sachi, of her espionage against the potion merchant, and of Coelln. I took all the anxiety, the cold anger, the determination, helplessness, and false security I felt there…

And I locked those feelings away.

#

Let me be clear: I don't think Sachi was wrong to worry about the potion merchant. I don't think it was wrong for us to sell the trinket to Hera. She was guilty, and she deserved to go to jail. But what is that principle of justice—that a hundred guilty men should go free if it means saving one innocent person from unjust imprisonment? Maybe that's naïve. Maybe the damage those hundred guilty men would do is more than the damage done to that one innocent man. What do you do then?

This case was different, though. None of us stood the risk of going to jail—at least, as long as we didn't get caught, anyway. Sachi had said it before, right? Why we do things is as important as what we choose to do.

With that in mind, I caught Asuna outside KoB Headquarters in Paname the next morning. I asked her to do me a favor.

"You want to let her off?"

Well, it was a little more than a favor. I took her by the river outside KoB's cathedral headquarters, and we walked under the trees there. The river was low, with almost five meters from ground level to the water. The low waters exposed a stained stone retaining wall—a necessary thing, but it was unsightly to look at, with mold growing between its cracks.

"I don't understand…"

That was Asuna, who continued to eye me quizzically.

"Just a few days ago, you wanted Hera and SniperX jailed, no matter the cost. Why the change of heart?"

I sighed, staring over the skyline of the city.

"It's tearing us up, thinking about her. Sachi leaves as soon as it's sunup, looking…for clues. In Mem is divided right now. This needs to end, as soon as possible. I just want people to know that Hera is guilty, that she _did_ do this, that that ugliness really does exist."

Asuna sighed.

"That would be nice, but I think this is going to be more difficult than you think."

Indeed, Asuna raised a couple key objections to my request: first, to offer blanket immunity in exchange for a confession sounded a lot like plea bargaining. In Asuna's words,

"We're not cowboy Americans who offer sinister choices to innocent people, hoping they'll take a guarantee of a little jail time over the chance of a lot."

That depended on what Hera and SniperX admitted to. If they admitted to just trying to grief us and accidentally getting Aurora killed, that would still be treated differently than proof they'd deliberately tried to murder her.

Of course, Asuna saw a hole in my reasoning.

"What makes you think they would be afraid of evidence like that?"

I didn't answer, and that pointed out the other big problem: why would Hera and SniperX accept a promise of immunity at all? They had no reason to fear evidence against them turning up (as far as they knew), and there could still be consequences for merely admitting that they griefed us.

"If you want to actually persuade them to take this deal, they need to be assured they can still do all the things a good, upstanding member of the raiding community could do."

I shrugged at that.

"I can't make those promises; appeasing ill-behaved raiders sounds like a job for a deputy GM, if you ask me."

She pouted.

"You're the one coming to _me_ here. I'd much rather put those two away for good, but—"

"But they're skilled players who've contributed to boss kills. This isn't my first game, Asuna. I know that skill trumps rules more often than not."

She made a pained face.

"This may not be your first MMO, but it _is_ mine."

Shaking her head, she kicked a pebble over the edge of the wall, and it splashed in the river below.

"Managing the raid group used to be simple. It used to be, after each new kill, more people would volunteer to join up, right? We thought we would be out of here within a year. Now, we're not even to Floor 50. It's almost November, and the core of the raid group is shrinking every day."

The pebble made ripples across the slow-moving water. Those rippled rebounded off the retaining wall and smoothed out.

"People die, or they lose interest. People lose interest in MMOs that are actually games, too."

"Mm."

Asuna glanced downriver, looking sternly at the weak current.

"I guess if Hera and SniperX end up as good, contributing members of the raid group again, it'll be worth letting them off the hook, right?"

"I'm not counting on that happening."

"Neither am I, but that's the only bright side I can see about this deal."

"It's not all about the raid group, you know."

"What do you mean?"

I snapped a twig off a nearby tree, admiring one of the leaves.

"As human beings, the quality of the lives we live here matters. I would rather not raid at all than stand on the backs of other players and trample them in the process."

"Then what do you tell everyone who's counting on us? The children who've been separated from their parents, the merchants and crafters who have supplied us—what would you tell them?"

"That we did the best we could without making ourselves inhuman in the process."

Asuna frowned at that, and after a moment's contemplation, she said,

"I won't offer full raiding privileges if they don't ask for it."

That was a compromise I could get behind.

We approached Hera and SniperX at their lodgings in Coelln. We camped out on the ground floor of the inn, played cards, chatted with other raiders and passers-by. Some of them had sympathy for In Mem. Others had never heard of us. Others still thought we might be making too much of a fuss. The one thing I knew for sure was that, as soon as In Mem came up in conversation, everyone who'd heard of us had an opinion on who we were and what we were doing.

But at last, around noon, the inn door creaked open, and our targets arrived.

"What the hell are you two doing here?"

Hera was polite and courteous as always, but Asuna matched her demeanor with the commanding presence of a raid leader and deputy GM.

"This is official business. I'd like to have a word with both of you in private. Kirito-kun will accompany us. His presence is not optional."

"That right."

Hera sniffed at that, but she flicked a hand to ask us to follow. We went upstairs to Hera and SniperX's room, which was spartanly decorated: a single bed, with unkempt sheets; a small, iron-bound chest at the foot of the bed; and tiny square window with wrought iron bars.

SniperX shut the door behind us, and Hera didn't waste any time.

"Let's get it over with. What do you two want?"

Asuna looked to me, then to Hera and SniperX.

"I'd like to present you both a deal: if you confess your involvement in Aurora's death, you will be punished merely as griefers. You'll be suspended from raiding for one month, but the raiding guilds may consider your suspension as already having been served. You will face no other official consequences for your crime, and once your suspension is elapsed, I will personally see to it that you are treated like ordinary raiders, with no after-effects from your actions."

Asuna raised a finger in the air.

"The only condition put upon this offer is that you tell the complete and honest truth about what happened to Aurora. That's all."

"Oh, is that all?"

Hera stifled a chuckle.

"How very generous; I'm sure I'd need that if I'd done something wrong."

That effortless denial of hers—like Aurora was nothing, like snuffing out a life was no different than picking a splinter out of her finger. Aurora had been a inconvenience, nothing more.

"You don't get to just dismiss her—"

"Kirito-kun!"

Asuna grabbed me—no, she restrained me! And Hera enjoyed every minute of it.

"You sure you want him here, Asuna? Seems like he needs some training."

Asuna glared.

"Kirito-kun is here to verify facts—facts I expect to hear when you consider this offer seriously. If even a scintilla of evidence is discovered linking you two to Aurora's death, this offer disappears. I'm giving you the opportunity to set the record straight with minimal consequences. You should consider it. Seriously."

She looked to SniperX in particular with that last statement.

"Both of you should. Do you want to be looking over your shoulder waiting for something to turn up? Do you want even the chance that you'll end up in prison to hang over you?"

SniperX huffed at that.

"Even _he_ says I was never flagged. I'm not afraid of the raid group."

Asuna narrowed her eyes, but before she could speak, SniperX added,

"But Hera, you should consider this."

Hera gasped, eyes wide.

"What? Snipe, shut up!"

"It'd be better for you to put this in the past."

"We're not talking about this! Not a word!"

Asuna folded her arms, smiling slyly.

"Oh? Why not? Sounds like SniperX has a lot to say. Go on."

Hera stormed over to the door and checked the lock. Gritting her teeth, she said,

"If we're going to have this conversation, it's not being recorded, you got me? No message crystals, no nothing! Both of you, unequip all your items. I want to see you're not hiding a thing from me!"

Scoffing, Asuna turned aside, shaking her head repeatedly.

"You can't ask us to—"

I ran my fingers through the air, opening my menu.

"Kirito-kun!"

I tapped each equipment slot to put my armor and weapons into inventory. One by one they disappeared, leaving me defenseless and bare, save for a pair of black boxer shorts.

Hera leered with a lecherous grin.

"Look at that! How scrawny and sad you are, great and mighty Kirito! The famous beater! The so-called Black Swordsman! You're just a kid. There's not an ounce of real muscle on you. You're a runt compared to Snipe."

She peered at my boxers, and she waved her pinky finger in front of me.

"And I bet your dick looks like a crayon. A mushy, flimsy—"

Smack! Asuna slapped Hera's hand aside.

"That's enough! He's shown you he's got nothing to hide. Knock it off, or we're done."

Hera glared.

"Strip. Down. Now. I don't care if you're deputy GM of the universe; I want to see your skin before I say another word."

Fuming, Asuna went through the same motions as I had earlier, and her elegant KoB uniform gave way to…well, it wouldn't have been right if I'd looked any longer. What was underneath that uniform was white. That's all I saw.

Hera looked Asuna up and down with visible disappointment.

"Shame. You've got no ass. Otherwise it might've been fun to imagine what Snipe would do to you."

Asuna covered her chest with her arms, glaring daggers at Hera.

"You can see we don't have any crystals activated. Are we going to have a serious conversation now or not?"

"Nope!"

Asuna and I stared, dumbstruck.

"I don't care what the two of you have to say—or what Snipe says, for that matter. We're not having this conversation, but it was fun to see how far both of you would go. Don't forget to equip your gear on the way out!"

My eyes narrowed.

"You enjoy it, don't you? You like seeing other people helpless. When you stole kills from us, we couldn't stop you. You like that."

"So what if I do?"

"You liked it when we panicked over the incoming Einherjar and Valkyries, didn't you?"

"Don't talk about that."

"When you threw that pick at my hand and my Teleport Crystal shattered, you got off on our panic, didn't you?"

She stomped over to me, her face just centimeters from mine.

"I never attacked you; I was never flagged. Shut up!"

"When Aurora and I split up, did you enjoy it when the Valkyries caught up to her? Did you laugh when they stunned her and killed her? I bet you did. I bet you've replayed that moment over and over in sadistic glee! I bet you're thinking about it right now, aren't you? Aren't you?"

"I AM NOT!"

Her thunderous shout rang in my ears. The only sound to break that sillness was Hera's trembling. Her armor plates rattled. She breathed with short, staccato breaths, and her teetch chattered.

"I am not. I'm not. I'm not."

She took a deep breath, and she paced about the room, glaring at me when it suited her.

"I'm not responsible, you understand? I didn't do anything wrong. All you people had to do was run away. If you can't run when you lose a crystal here or there, what good are you for raiding? What good are you in this game? Nobody would've died if you people didn't suck so much, all right? ALL RIGHT?"

SniperX looked aside, unwilling to meet ours or even Hera's gaze. Asuna and I exchanged a glance, too—even despite our circumstances. Asuna looked upon Hera as one might eye a lonely child.

And I felt the same way. I said,

"You know, Hera, there's a guild for people like you."

Her stare fixed on me, but it lacked the contempt and dismissiveness that Hera often showed. Instead, there was a hint of vulnerability in her eyes—like that of a wounded cat who'd been licking her wounds, forced to stay awake and alert in case a bigger predator came back soon.

"What do you mean? I have a guild."

"I mean there's a guild to help people like you—people who've seen hardship and loss right in front of their eyes. There are a lot of people there who are willing to help if you open up to them."

She stared back at me, aghast.

"No, don't—shut up."

I offered a hand to Hera, stepping closer.

"You don't need to suffer alone for it. We can help you. We want to, but we can't help if you don't admit what you've done. As long as you deny it, you will suffer alone."

At that, a shudder went through Hera's body, and her tremors grew all the more severe.

"Get out. GET OUT!"

She whipped the door open and shoved both of us—Asuna and me—into the hallway.

"I would _die_ before I accept help from the likes of you!"

The door slammed, and Asuna and I both felt the draft. Another resident of the inn opened his door, peering into the hallway where Asuna and I lay.

"Can't you go play with your ethics code settings in your own room?"

After we reequipped our armor, Asuna and I headed outside, leaving Hera and the inn behind. I looked up the stairs longingly, but Asuna patted me on the back.

"Don't second-guess yourself. Hera needs to understand and accept her guilt. She'll be miserable until she does—and she won't admit she did anything wrong until then, too."

Right. She needed help: the kind of help In Mem could give, if only she weren't about to go to prison for murdering Aurora and taking Aurora's trinket from where she died.

But Asuna didn't know that. She bowed to me in apology, saying,

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry this is going to go on even longer. It's just going to hurt you and Hera, too. Nobody wins."

I gave Asuna an absolving smile. I said,

"You did your best."

And left it at that. I hurried out of that inn before that smile could betray me, but she wasn't the only one I had to hide my feelings from.

For across the street stood Kali.

She nibbled on a piece of jerky and pushed off the brickwork wall of the building across the road.

"So, Kirito, you think we need to talk?"

#

I'd never been part of a guild for very long, not in other games anyway. The politics was usually what got to me: only the largest and most stable guilds would last more than a few months. Everyone below that critical size threshold would experience large amounts of turnover, of guilds merging and folding unless they were tight-knit or bound by friendships over shared in-game goals.

A guild that you'd want to stay with and help improve over months and years? That was still new to me. I'd seen a little bit of it with Black Cats of the Full Moon, but In Memoriam was different: its purpose wasn't raiding or dungeons. I think that appealed to me. It meant people weren't likely to bail out for better or more-aggressive guilds. In Mem had a stable community about it, despite not officially being a guild.

And it was new to me to be in a position of responsibility for a guild, too. The four of us—Kali, Collmenter, Sachi, and I—formed a shadow group within the guild, and we bore the responsibility of doing what was best for the guild despite working without Ezekiel's approval or sanction.

And now I'd gone against them, too.

I stood before three of them like a wayward soldier before a court-martial—well, if you can imagine a court-martial held in my dining room, with Kali, Collmenter, and Sachi seated not on a bench but on three plush couches instead. Still, I cleared my throat and argued as best as I could:

"Guys, we're on the way to destroying ourselves to get Hera put away. Ezekiel knows it. That's why he stopped trying. I didn't want to admit it, but I felt it as soon as Sachi ran down to confront that potion merchant. The cost is too high, guys. We can't continue like this."

I caught myself.

"No, _I_ can't continue like this. We had the chance to make peace with Aurora's death without any more dealings with shady merchants or covert espionage or anything like that. I won't apologize for taking that chance."

The others looked back at me with a mix of surprise, disappointment, and anger. Sachi was the worst.

"Do you think I was wrong to follow that merchant? If so, you should've said so!"

"I did! I asked you to let it go for the day, and you wouldn't."

Kali raised a hand casually, shutting that topic down.

"Okay, look, whether that's right or not, nobody should get a pass for a murder, and that's what this is, isn't it?"

I put a hand behind my head, looking aside.

"It is, but I looked into her eyes, Kali. I saw that she is damaged from this. All of us in In Mem have seen death, but not many of us have directly caused it. She's a monstrous person, but she's still suffering from the kind of thing In Mem would try to help someone with."

"You're kidding me. Hera puts on a little show, and all of a sudden you start believing her? After the humiliation she put you through, I would've just challenged her to a duel."

Collmenter huffed at that.

"Is this the Tenshō era now? Are we wandering samurai looking to pick fights and settle scores?"

"You're damn right we are. Do you see any law and order we should resort to? We have to take things into our own hands here. There's no one else to turn to."

I coughed, trying to get a word in.

"We may have had to take things into our own hands, but we don't have to follow through on it. I know you're suspicious, Kali, but Hera's bothered by what she's done. She's so anxious and agitated about it she can't even admit it to herself. SniperX knows it. If we put her in prison, will she really have a chance to recover? Kali, would you be the person you are now if you'd been locked away in a room after killing that guildmate of yours?"

"I was a victim. Hera isn't."

"So the help the guild gives to people in need—people who have seen death and need help coping—is just for people who are innocent? For people who are without sin? Nobody here likes Hera, but we represent the guild, right? What do we want the guild to be about? Retribution? Or something else?"

Kali sat back, burying her face in her hands, but Collmenter took the opportunity to speak again.

"I joined up with the three of you to put Hera away, not because I was looking for vengeance but because it's the right thing to do. I still believe that. If Hera needs help, she can get it while the rest of us are protected from her. She showed a callous disregard for human life. She's a cancer. She's toxic, and her simple existence will be toxic to the raid group and toxic to us. There is no saving her. There was never anything there to save. Sometimes you just have to cut ties with people and let them destroy themselves away from you."

"You're cynical, Collmenter."

He shrugged at that.

"I'm _old_, or so you kids tell me."

That left only one person to argue with me.

"Sachi?"

She sat with her hands between her knees, staring weakly at the ceiling.

"You might intend it as a kindness, Kirito, but other people won't see it that way. They'll see that Hera got away, that they can do whatever they want to us without consequence. Hera and SniperX were punished more harshly for stealing kills in a raid—for something meaningless—than for the abuse and vitriol they heaped upon Aurora. People will see that and think they can do the same. It'll just be a matter of time before someone is attacked again. It'll just be a matter of time before someone _dies_ again."

"You don't know that."

"No, but I feel it. I feel it right here."

She touched a hand to her breastbone.

"I feel them all around us. They're watching when we go out for dinner. They're staring when we go farming outside the Area. Wherever we go, hatred and death are never far away. If Aurora's killers go unknown and unpunished, then the next victim could be you, Kirito. Or me. I wouldn't be surprised if it were me. It might be a relief to be snuffed out rather than live with those eyes on us constantly, but I'd rather be here. I'd rather have those people look away because they know their hate has consequences if they act on it. If we can't accomplish that, it won't matter that we have a guild to support each other and protect each other. We'll be surrounded by people who think we're weak, that we're less than nothing, that we're dragging them down. And they will be _right_. We won't have accomplished anything."

Sachi's eyes were downcast and low. Kali held her head, not looking at anyone. Collmenter rubbed his temple.

"Don't you guys see how tired you all are of this?"

Three pairs of eyes locked on me, but their owners were silent, save for Collmenter:

"Kirito, if you want to step away, fine. But I think the rest of us are in this to the end. You can step aside. You can go back to Ezekiel if you want, but otherwise, you're on your own."

A bolt of lightning went through me, and no one else even noticed. I stared at Collmenter, slack-jawed, while Kali started arguing with him.

"This isn't us against Ezekiel. We're just doing what he should've done."

"It _is_ us against him, until he decides to listen to us again."

And all throughout, Sachi looked to me. Her blue eyes were steady but wary. They checked the door to the dining room every few seconds. She clenched her fists, sitting stiffly, and her breaths never deviated from a quick, purposeful rhythm.

I sighed, bowing my head, and I said,

"All right. Let's go arrange the sale. Let's see this through."

Kali nodded, allowing herself a slight smile. Collmenter ran his fingers through his beard and sat forward, brow furrowed in thought.

And Sachi?

She let out a breath in relief, shutting her eyes for a moment, but the respite was brief. She was awake and alert again in seconds, stiffening as I sat back down beside her.

Relief wouldn't come quickly for us. I knew that much.

I could only hope it would come at all.

#

The next day, Sachi and I went to visit Lisbeth.

The Londinium market had seen better days. Liz was one of the few crafters left in town. Most of the others had moved on to higher floors, at least to Pentelicus or Paname. The once-vibrant warehouses by the river sat half-bare, but Lisbeth was still there, taking up two stalls' worth of space because she could.

"I'm saving up for my own workshop, so I can't afford to pick up and move to a higher floor right now. I'd get gouged out of my eyeballs in upkeep fees, you know? So, what can I do for you?"

That was simple, really. Lisbeth was going to do our job for us. I asked her,

"We were wondering if you could make us an Indestructible Storage Trinket."

"One of those, huh? What makes you ask?"

"Our friend Aurora had one to keep some important real-life information safe in the event she died. In case Sachi and I run into trouble, it seems like it'd be useful to have."

"Oh really."

Lisbeth pursed her lips, raising an eyebrow at us.

"Well, you must know that patterns for indestructible items are hard to come by, even if an indestructible trinket is the easiest. There's pretty high demand to reverse-engineer existing items and learn the recipes to make them in the process. Quite funny that you guys would come to me now. It just so happens I know that psychopath Hera is trying to sell one. I don't suppose Aurora's trinket was recovered after she died, was it?"

Sachi's eyes flickered to me, but she answered Lisbeth anyway.

"It wasn't, but Kirito never saw Hera pick it up or anything like that. We just assumed it was lost."

Scoffing, Lisbeth put on an exaggerated pout.

"I'm disappointed in you guys. Are we really going to play this game? You're not going to clue me in on what you're doing?"

Sachi and I exchanged a glance, and I said,

"If we told you we had something to do with it, you'd have to tell Asuna that, as her friend."

"Asuna's my friend, yeah, but so are you guys."

Lisbeth sighed at that, resting her head in her hand.

"Well, she wants those two put away as much as anyone else, right? I don't have to tell her something I only suspect. I know that Hera tried to get me interested in buying an indestructible item, and that you guys said Aurora had such an item. Everything else is just speculation, isn't it?"

With Lisbeth's wink there to seal the deal, Hera's days as a free woman were numbered. Lisbeth told Asuna about Hera's efforts to sell the trinket. Asuna then agreed to fund Lisbeth with enough col to outbid all other potential buyers for the item. Lisbeth met with Hera and SniperX by the Coelln market to consummate the transaction. I'm told it went something like this:

"About time you showed up, Blacksmith. Any later and I would've had to offer this thing to someone else."

Hera, SniperX, and Lisbeth met outside the market proper, and it was Hera who flagged Lisbeth down.

"What made you change your mind, anyway? Seemed like you weren't interested when we first talked."

Lisbeth handled the question like a champ:

"I'm embarrassed to say I didn't have the money at the time, but I got a couple big commissions afterward, enough to make me feel comfortable about dropping a million on it. If I can make weapons that are even 30% resistant to durability loss, I'm going to make ten times that much in a matter of weeks!"

"Is that so?"

Hera looked to SniperX.

"Snipe, do you think we're settling for too little here?"

At that, Lisbeth waved her hands wildly.

"Don't get me wrong! Cut me a break, won't you? There's no guarantee I'll be able to reverse-engineer anything off this thing! There's a ton of variability in the durability loss resistance. This is a fair price, I promise!"

"All right, all right, pipe down. Let's get this done, yeah?"

Hera opened a trade window. The Indestructible Storage Trinket disappeared from Hera's hand, only to reappear in Lisbeth's once both sides agreed to the terms.

"Well, pleasure doing business with you, Blacksmith."

"Our business isn't over yet!"

From the shadows of a nearby alley came Asuna, flanked by Boudicca and Klein. Stiffening, Hera looked to her guild leader.

"Bou, what's the meaning of this?"

"I guess we'll find out once we see what's inside that trinket. Lisbeth, would you open it, please?"

Liz tapped the trinket with her index finger, and the contents were displayed—Aurora's note with a name and address. Another tap of that interface window displayed some metadata associated with the item: the time of creation, the vendor price, and most importantly, the owner of the item.

Aurora.

"No, no way."

Hera dropped the item and backpedaled, shaking her head, but the trinket just clanked on the stone road.

"I didn't—I didn't take this off her body! I bought this just a few days ago. The guy is right in this market! Come look!"

But the six of them headed into the market, only to find Collmenter's stand empty.

"The hell? He was right here! I bought two stacks of picks from him!"

The three officers examined Hera's picks; they were from three different smiths, all known to the raid group and none matching Collmenter's description.

Hera wasn't without recourse yet, though. She turned to the neighboring stall, which belonged to the potion merchant.

"You! You remember the guy who was here two days ago? He sold me some picks."

The merchant met Hera's eyes, then Lisbeth's. Lisbeth gave a slight nod, and the merchant said,

"Honestly don't remember. There've been at least six people going through that stall over the past couple days. No one stays very long. They don't have my natural charm or sales skills, you know? Can I interest you in some healing pots?"

A mysterious merchant no one could remember. That wasn't doing Hera any good. And while there was no direct evidence against SniperX for his involvement in the crime, everyone had agreed that SniperX had been there, a party to the crime.

Hera was going to prison.

SniperX was going to prison.

And for a moment, it looked like all was right with the world. It was a time, if not to celebrate, then to get together and enjoy some relief. The killers were punished. In Mem's people would be seen as unjust victims of prejudice, and as such, they would be embraced instead of marginalized and shunned. That was occasion enough for people to get together, to eat and drink, and to let the strong emotions that had taken hold in us wash away.

The party was already started by the time Sachi and I arrived. It was a tavern outside the City Palace, the place where Aurora's funeral had been.

Yes, _had been_. By that time, the benches had been recycled into uncut wood. The flowerbed had wilted and distintegrated from durability loss. There was no more evidence left that a funeral had taken place there at all.

But no one seemed to mind when Sachi and I arrived. Kali and Collmenter had saved the two of us seats, and Collmenter volunteered to buy us all a round.

"Days like this, you know, when something goes right for a change? They don't come often. When I was working on _Final Fantasy XVI_, we just had one bad thing after another happen. Animators quit. People got in car accidents or incurred serious injuries just walking around their homes. It was awful, but when we got the game finished, I took everyone on my team out, just to let it all go. Felt like we'd all been through a crucible together. The heat was on us for a while, but we came out stronger for it."

The table raised their mugs for a toast, and—

"Kirito, Sachi? Can I have a word?"

Ezekiel was there, standing stiff and tall. For once, his face was totally clear of stray strands of hair—his eye-catching, platinum blond hair that gave him an air of otherworldliness. Seeing him so buttoned up and well-kept killed the mood a bit, so Sachi and I left our drinks to follow him. I started with,

"What's this about, Ezekiel?"

"Not here. Follow me."

He showed us to an isolated corner of the tavern, separated from the rest of the guild by a buffer of empty tables. There, in the corner, sat Aurora's shrine, with her screenshot and offerings of beer and sausage to mark the occassion.

"So this is what got Hera put away, huh?"

Ezekiel held to his eye the small silver cube—the Indestructible Storage Trinket.

"Here I thought I'd never see it again."

He put the trinket back on the shrine's table, next to the screenshot of Aurora.

"I thought I'd never see it again because I hoped you'd let it go."

Sachi bowed her head but was silent, so I tried to smooth things over.

"I made an offer to her to end it all with minimal fuss. She refused it. We did what we had to do for everyone."

Ezkeiel scoffed, looking at me like I'd grown a third eye in my forehead.

"That's not the point. I asked to work this out, and you refused me."

"We disagreed, Ezekiel. We disagreed about what was best for the guild. There were strong feelings all around, but it's over now. Don't take it personally."

" 'Don't take it personally,' huh?"

He pinched the bridge of his nose, shaking his head.

"I've heard that a lot, you know? Every time a guild I was in dropped someone for not being able to get out of fire fast enough, for not adapting to new mechanics as well as they should, it was never _personal_. It was just the business of the guild, and the business of the guild always came before friendships or bonds between people. Didn't matter if someone had been around ten days or ten years. If they didn't perform, they were gone.

"I wanted this guild to be different, you know? I wanted this guild to be about the people. Aurora knew how to do that. I hoped the three of us might be able to replicate that in her stead, but we weren't on the same page here. You guys felt strongly about what needed to be done, and clearly you had support to back you up. If that ever happens again, I won't be able to stop you, will I?"

I shuddered.

"Don't talk like that. It's not going to happen again. This was an exceptional circumstance; it was just one time!"

"No, it wasn't."

Ezekiel took a bitter breath and straightened Aurora's portrait.

"This will happen again. It's just a matter of time. I was wrong to think a group of people could behave any differently."

With that, he undid his In Memoriam armband—the black cloth with an all-white candle emblem—and left it at the foot of the shrine.

Sachi gaped at the sight and called after Ezekiel as he started walking away.

"Ezekiel, wait! You can't—you mean you're really leaving the guild? Over this?"

All the room looked up from their drinks, from their conversations. Ezekiel was caught in the spotlight, but he didn't shy away from it. He stood tall and spoke with confidence and authority.

"Yes, I'm leaving. It's clear to me I don't command the authority or respect needed to be in charge here. When people you trusted with your life can go behind your back, thinking nothing of it, what else can you do? That's why it's time for me to go. I'll leave the guild in the hands of people who think they know what's right and who aren't afraid see it through. I can't do that because that's not me. Not anymore. I'm sorry."

His head hanging low, Ezekiel shuffled out of the tavern.

"What's that about, Kirito? What was Ezekiel saying?"

One voice carried through the room. To this day, I haven't been able to place it. I couldn't answer anyway, not with any kind of satisfaction.

"I can't explain. We did go against Ezekiel. I can't say why. It's sensitive. Sorry."

The room erupted.

"What do you mean you can't say?" "Did you have something to do with getting Hera put away?" "Why would you two and Ezekiel disagree on something like this?"

On and on the questions came, in a barrage that neither Sachi nor I could field cleanly. Officially, we didn't have anything to do with how Hera was caught, so we had no answers for anyone, and that was a source of frustration.

"Ezekiel walks out on the guild, and you can't even tell us why?"

No, we couldn't. Not without undoing everything we'd accomplished.

And so, those who couldn't accept that answer left. They put their drinks aside, leaving unfinished meals behind for the NPC watistaff to take care of. Even Kali, whom we'd worked with so closely, stood up and walked out on the affair.

"Sorry, guys, but I've gotta agree with Ezekiel. We didn't mean it that way, but we betrayed him. It's the one thing no one should ever do."

Sachi stood in front of her, begging. She blocked the doorway, as though that could stop Kali:

"But that doesn't mean you have to leave to make up for it! Kali, please!"

Kali shook her head, and she nudged Sachi aside to go.

"It's your guild now. Staying here means embracing that I was a part of this. No, I can't do that. Then I'm no better than the people who attacked me. Sorry."

Kali left, and at least ten people like her walked out, too. When it was all said and done, Sachi and I stood beside the empty chairs and half-cleaned plates, at a loss.

"What have we done, Kirito?"

I didn't answer.

"We went after Hera and SniperX to save the guild, to make people feel safe being here. Now, no one wants to be here at all. We've driven everyone apart. We were more dangerous to the guild than those two ever were."

I opened my mouth to speak, but I thought better of it, and I didn't answer again.

The "party" dissolved around ten, and Sachi and I headed home in silence. She went to bed straight away, but I couldn't sleep yet. The garden out back needed tending, and the atrium had collected some leaves from the outside. It would look better to clean them up immediately, instead of letting them disintegrate from durability loss. Or so I told myself.

If I hadn't kept myself busy and awake, I wouldn't have heard the knock at the door.

It was none other than the red-haired rat.

"Hello, Kii-bō. Sorry to bother at this late hour. Thought it'd be best to express some condolences."

The informant Argo looked surprisingly melancholic, despite those upturned whiskers she'd painted on her face.

"Word travels fast, huh?"

"Too fast, sometimes. Threatens to put me out of business, you know."

"Mm. Well, I appreciate your sympathies, but it really is late, so—"

"You think I'm here just for a social call?"

She offered a folded-up note between her index and middle fingers, and I raised an eyebrow.

"Oh? What's the price for this?"

"I don't charge for unsubstantiated rumors. This is a freebie. Consider it a little bit of hope, to give you two something to strive for."

"What could possibly do that now?"

She shrugged.

"New things are being discovered all the time in this game. Some NPC heralds are in town to announce new events, see? Most of the information they'll give you is about the Halloween event, but if you do a little digging—well, you'll see."

She put her hands together and bowed.

"Good night, Kii-bō."

She was a strange one all right, always cloaking her generosity in mercenary trafficking of information, pretending that which she gave away wasn't of value anyway.

Don't get me wrong: Argo's kindness is why I thought she was worthy of respect, but she could stand to take a little credit for that, too.

Not that I was much different, anyway.

Those thoughts aside, I opened the note from Argo, finding only a few scribbled words:

_Christmas event confirmed. Starts at midnight, Christmas Day. Rumored reward: "Sacred Stone of Rebirth."_

Rebirth?

"Kirito? Who was that? Not more trouble, I hope."

Sachi emerged from our bedroom, rubbing one eye. Her blue nightgown swayed around her knees, restless and unsteady. She kept a hand over her chest, as though to shield a hole in her heart.

I folded the note back up, and I closed my fist over it, putting on a comforting smile.

"It might be nothing. I'll tell you in the morning."

* * *

_Auld Lang Syne_ updates every two weeks, so look forward to the next chapter on Saturday, November 29, 2014, at 1 PM EST (10 AM PST), after the official stream of SAO II Episode 21.

Next time: "Myujen." Christmas is coming, and the means to bring hope to the weary denizens of Aincrad is in Kirito and Sachi's reach. Sachi will not rest until the resurrection item is theirs, and Kirito begins to see how damaging this pursuit is to her health.

For notes and commentary on this chapter and others, check out the _Auld Lang Syne_ thread on Sufficient Velocity, linked from my user profile.


	9. Myujen

**Myujen**  
_Aincrad Floor 49 - December 21, 2023_

I've come to realize one frightening truth about how people play games: the more they try to make their gaming experience efficient, the less they're enjoying the game.

Don't get me wrong; I'm not saying that efficiency is unenjoyable. Far from it. It's the lack of enjoyment, the lack of fun, that drives gamers to do things as efficiently as possible. That's the point when the game has become unpleasant—a grind, a chore—and the player is trying to "play" as little as possible, while still hoping for some kind of payoff, some kind of reward.

SAO wasn't a game we played for fun, but the same basic principle applied: players sought out efficient farming areas because the payoff was anything but enjoyment. We gained levels to survive. We gained levels to be able to clear the game, to ultimately escape.

Or, in the case of an imminent event, we gained levels to be able to face it down with minimal danger, so we could reap the rewards.

And gamers being what they are, we boiled this process down to the most mindless, ruthlessly efficient process possible.

We fought in the snow outside Myujen, one of the main towns on Floor 49. Though snow slowed movement speed, we found that most of the mobs around Myujen were tougher and hardier—which, in turn, meant they would give more experience per kill.

"Here! I found a pack!"

The Gray Wolves outside Myujen spawned in packs, each associated with a specific spawn point and an area in which they hunted. Like us, the Wolves were efficient in how they hunted: six adult wolves gorged themselves on the innards of a dead moose, ripping the entrails with their jaws. They tore off all the useful meat they could and carried some back to their cubs, who clung together for warmth under a small rock formation nearby.

Six of us fanned out around the wolves, sticking to the trees to shield ourselves from the wind. We checked and nodded at each other; we proceeded in silence.

Sachi led with a Colossal Wave: she leapt into the middle of the pack and blew out a crater in the snow. I dashed in behind her, taking the other three. This was true party fighting: I struck at all three of my Wolves with a Horizontal, and I followed with the 3-hit Sharp Nail combo, slashing across the Wolves at three different angles. The Wolves bit at me, but their attacks were like pinpricks, and my HP hardly budged.

Once I finished the combo, I shouted the magic word,

"Switch!"

The old man Collmenter charged ahead with his gleaming two-handed sword. Its green accents seemed to come out better in the low light, as the snow continued to fall. He cut and chopped at the animals, and his sword made that characteristic high-pitched sound—the kind a sword makes only when it cuts cleanly. You know it, right? Something like _shink_, perhaps. Collmenter's sword did a lot of clean cutting that day.

When he was done, Peeler switched in as well. He stabbed a Wolf with a single, precise thrust of his spear, and the Wolf shattered, leaving the metal tip of the spear clean.

"I'm really sick and tired of seeing all of you damn dogs! Balls of fur and teeth—that's all you are!"

With less colorful commentary, the process was the same for Sachi's side. She switched with the scimitar wielders, Castor and Pollux, who hacked and chopped at the Wolves in turn. Their attacks were bloody and sloppy—in that they scattered damage particles everywhere, not real blood—but they got the job done.

We dispatched of the adults like clockwork. Each blow was followed by another in quick succession, as quickly as the system would allow. With two switching rotations of three people, we swapped in, burned our longest cooldown strikes, and left the wolves shattered, each of us taking insignificant damage. Our digital wounds closed before our eyes as potions healed the difference.

And when we were done with the adults, we turned to the pups, too. SAO was cruel that way. Most games would make the pups give insignificant experience, but here, the six of them added up to another adult Wolf.

It was too much for any dedicated gamer to ignore. We cut them down, and our reward?

"Hey, Sachi got a level!"

A few thousand experience, a pittance of col, and a level for Sachi, which granted her the ability to shrug off ever more Wolves in greater numbers.

Sachi eyed the level-up screen and battle summary with disinterest.

"You guys think we can go some more? Most of the other packs should've respawned by now."

The chiming of a bell—the distant clock tower at the center of town—convinced the others to sheathe their weapons and wander toward the source of the sound.

"Come on, Sachi. It's noon. Time to eat and take a break."

That was Castor, his nose already turning up at the distant scent of food. He and Pollux led the way back to town, but Sachi lingered behind, peering around the trees. I called to her,

"Sachi!"

With downcast eyes, she followed me, her footsteps sinking only softly into the snow. A light, almost ghostly _crunch_ with each step, nothing more. You see, even as we ate, every second wasted was potential experience lost.

There were only three days to Christmas Eve, after all.

Only three days to the coming of the Christmas boss.

Only three days to the opportunity to win a rare resurrection item, on which the six of us had pinned our hopes.

And to take a break from that for long? That was inefficient.

#

The town of Myujen was the ideal settlement for progression raiders looking to hole up for Christmas week. It boasted a good concentration of apartment-like housing, so many of the transient raiders—who had no homes of their own—had found cheap accommodations there. Myujen was reasonably entertaining, too, as the central market had put a giant Christmas tree on display. NPCs gathered in the market three times a day, bringing songs and dances and other festive activities to the weary playerbase.

That so many people had made Myujen their home meant many of the taverns in Myujen were crowded, but for efficiency's sake, we ate in Myujen anyway. The Skewered Lamb Inn offered lamb chops with mint sauce as a special, and the Gemini twins, both of them "stout yet healthy," could order enough lamb for ten people just by themselves. Then again, they would pay for all of it yet typically only eat about half, leaving the rest of us to clean up after them. For some reason, they never noticed this.

"It's not a guild if you can't eat, drink, and be merry with one another, right?"

So Pollux liked to say. It's not much of a guild when your group of almost thirty players is whittled down to just six.

But that's what we had: just six of us left from In Mem, in pursuit of this mythical resurrection item. Some had followed Ezekiel, forming a new guild of their own. Others had simply left, joining established guilds or no guild at all. Those that had left, in large part, gave on In Mem to continue raiding. We were no different, though: we gave up on In Mem's mission, just to shoot for something fantastical. An item that could bring back the dead offered safety and hope for those who lived. It offered a chance to make up for past mistakes, too.

"For Aurora."

That was the toast we shared at the end of a morning grind, and in silence, helpings of lamb were passed around. Peeler was the first to speak.

"Kirito, any word from Argo? The competition can't be more than level 57, 58 by now, right?"

"She said the top leveler is 61, with at least two dozen players up to 59."

"Damn!"

Shaking his head, Peeler took a gulp from his mug.

"Those ants need to be nerfed into the ground."

Collmenter shrugged.

"You do know they live _in_ the ground already, right?"

"You know what I mean, old man."

The raiding guilds had a favorite farming spot on Floor 46—an anthill. The ants had low health and damage reduction, and once you had enough levels to shrug off their damage, they were good fodder to kill. So popular were the ants that the raiding guilds had established a strict schedule for different guilds and groups to use the anthill farming ground, and Pollux argued that we should go there:

"If we can't beat 'em, join 'em, I say! Let's head down there for an hour and soak up some sweet, sweet XP."

Sachi hardly looked up from her plate—with a tiny portion of lamb half the size of her fist, and nothing more.

"We'd spend forever getting down there and waiting. It's better to just stay up here, isn't it?"

Collmenter coughed at that.

"We spend an hour and a half up here to get as much experience as one hour on the anthill."

"It takes half an hour to get to and from the anthill, so that's an hour gone unless we use crystals. Right now, you can get time there maybe every six hours? I don't think we have any choice but to stay up here."

"I wouldn't mind taking an hour or so during our grinding sessions just to clear my head."

"Don't you think we have enough breaks?"

Without physical fatigue in the game, the only limiting factor on a player's ability to farm was mental fortitude. How long could a person stand those repetitive actions? How long could he keep going until he needed to just close his eyes and not think for a while?

Sachi's attitude toward rest was pretty simple, though:

"Every minute we're not out there, the other guilds are getting stronger, and they might leave us behind."

It was a miracle we'd managed to negotiate even a lunch break out of her. But, while we were on break, I had hopes we might do more than just shake off fatigue from farming:

"We're all going to take it easy for a bit. Should we do a support group meeting now?"

The elder of the Gemini twins, the green-haired Castor, gave a quick laugh and brushed off the idea.

"I think Pollux and I are going to take a nap before we go farming again. Maybe we'll have time for that after Christmas, don't you think?"

Peeler nodded in agreement.

"Just being here is enough to take my mind off things. Never was a big fan of talking about 'feelings' or anything like that."

Sachi, too, politely declined the idea, pushing her half-eaten portion aside:

"I was going to check with the information brokers about experience buffs or anything else that might help us. I think we're running low on potions, too. Kirito, do you mind stocking up?"

I stared, open-mouthed, but I nodded once, and Sachi rose.

"Okay, thanks. See everyone in an hour, yeah?"

And that was the way it was. Shooting for the Christmas boss was all that mattered, and not even everyone believed it would drop this supposed resurrection item. In the words of Peeler, some days before,

"It's probably a damn joke, you know? I'm just counting on the loot. If we do get that item and get Aurora back, great. She was good for us. She didn't deserve what happened to her, but I'm not getting my hopes up. If we get some rare items, we can kick some monster ass and not end up victims like her. That's all we can count on."

So, in the event we found no salvation or hope in the Christmas boss's belongings, at least we would get some powerful loot. What a consolation prize.

After lunch, I stopped by the Myujen market. I stretched my arms. I yawned. In that bustling place of commerce, the hushed tones of a Christmas carol soothed my weary ears, and I closed my eyes to the music:

_Silent night, holy night,  
All is calm, all is bright …_

The carolers were a quartet of NPCs, singing under the shadow of the large Christmas tree. It was a scene that would've been common in any shopping mall or outdoor festival, with carolers in felt hats and stockings. Never mind that such joy and happiness seemed at odds with the stark reality of the game. A small crowd of interested players had stopped to listen anyway.

Among them was a man in a red bandana, with a katana sheathed at his side. And just was my luck, the carol was ending:

_Radiant beams from they holy face  
With the dawn of redeeming grace,  
Jesus, Lord at thy birth!  
Jesus, Lord at thy birth._

I did an about face and walked with deliberate, unhurried steps from the market, but—

"Yo, Kirito!"

But Klein had a sharp eye.

I stopped, pulled up my coat collar to protect against the cold and snow, and faced back into the market, where Klein was jogging toward me.

"Hey, Klein."

"Hey yourself! What have you been up to? You and Sachi just disappeared from raids all of a sudden. What's the deal?"

I let out a sharp breath at that.

"You're going to pretend you don't know?"

"Huh?"

He looked around and scratched his head in false innocence.

"What do you mean? It's a simple question, isn't it? Anyone would ask."

"People who've bought information from Argo about my activities would ask, too, only to pretend they don't already know."

"Say what?"

He hissed, shaking his head.

"I buy from her, and then she sells the fact back to you? She really is a rat, isn't she?"

"She is."

Klein sighed, appreciating the truth of those words. Back under the Christmas tree, the carolers started a new song.

_The first Noel, the angels did say,  
Was to certain poor shepherds in fields as they lay…_

I motioned to Klein to follow me, away from the music and the rest of the crowd. He fell into step at my side, saying,

"So it's true? There's a res item on the Christmas boss?"

"That's what Argo told me."

"Geez! I thought you guys were leveling like something crazy, but it didn't make sense that you'd do it just for loot. You're working yourselves into the ground!"

I scoffed.

"As if you guys haven't been out on the anthill at three in the morning. As if gamers haven't been pulling all-nighters to stalk rare spawns ever since the first MMO was ever made."

Klein stepped in front of me, his face serious and reproachful, as a father would instruct a wayward child.

"But we rest, Kirito. We farm in shifts, and no one goes hunting without at least five other people watching his back. And when the first MMO came out, people wouldn't lose their lives for just falling asleep at the keyboard! Look at yourself, man! You're working yourself into the ground!"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"That's what frightens me. Kirito, I know you've always been aggressive about leveling, but you know as well as anyone how dangerous it is to level nonstop. Just how far are you going to push yourselves?"

"I would never let a group continue to fight without adequate safety margin. I've made that mistake once already. Do you think I would really let it happen again?"

Klein sniffed at that.

"If that's how you're going to be, I have no place to argue. Am I keeping you?"

"I need to get some potions; then we're back at it."

"Same for me, really. Just getting a few things and then back to work."

He slapped me on the shoulder.

"Be safe, Kirito."

"You too."

Klein nodded, and he cast an eye toward the carolers once more, smiling as he listened to their harmonious tones:

_They looked up and saw a star,  
Shining in the east, beyond them far:  
And to the earth it gave great light,  
And so it continued, both day and night:_

_Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel,  
Born is the King of Israel._

In the cloudy sky of Floor 49, there was not a star visible, and there hadn't been for many nights. Not even the sun at high noon had made an appearance, not as long as we had been there.

Klein and I separated, and I checked my inventory for what we needed. A good rule of thumb was to stock up for a whole day at a time. In the next twenty-four hours, we would grind until dinner, take a break, grind until two or three, then rest for a few hours. Then, come eight o'clock sharp, we'd be back at it. Potions lasted ten minutes at a time. Six potions an hour, sixteen hours a day that we farmed. Two of us needed potions at all times; the others only needed potions when they took some incidental damage, maybe twice an hour unless things were going badly.

So it was six and two and sixteen vs. two and four and sixteen and…

Damn. That's what I get for relying on computers to do arithmetic, right? The numbers just kept getting jumbled in my head. 12, 120, 72—they all mixed together in an incomprehensible mess. I had to go to the potion merchant just to get a straight answer on a number. He said,

"You want 320."

"320? You're sure?"

"Yeah, look: 6 by 2 by 16 and 2 by 4 by 16, right? So you take the 6 and the 4, and they make 10. 10 times 2 is 20. 20 times 16 is 320."

I went over that three times to be sure, imagining the digits in my head. No, he wasn't cheating me. It really was that simple.

"That'll be just 2500 col per stack."

I froze, going wide-eyed.

"Easy, easy. Just 20k, all right?"

That's right. Potions came in stacks of 40, so it was 8 stacks. 8 times 2.5…yeah, any grade-school kid should've been able to do that.

Anyone in his right mind could do that.

I finished the transaction with the potion merchant, and I opened my interface window to write a message.

'_Sachi, let's go home for a bit. Let's take a nap and recharge. Even when we outlevel mobs as we do, it's smart to be at our best, right? Meet me at the teleport plaza. We can go home together, okay?'_

I waited, and I waited. I camped out at the teleport plaza, in the faint shadow of the clock tower, and let the snow collect on my shoulders. It was an icy mantle, and it provided me with no warmth.

Her message back came almost half an hour later, saying simply,

'_Don't be silly. It's almost time to head back out. That's what we told the others, isn't it?'_

#

Over the next few hours, the signs I'd missed before became obvious and painful. Mistakes I'd once dismissed as ordinary lapses betrayed their true origins: fatigue. During a break between pulls, I caught Collmenter resting with his sword dug into the ground. He put all his weight on it, driving the tip to the earth. That contact meant a continual loss of durability, and Collmenter's weight only exacerbated the issue. I called him out on this, and he apologized, saying,

"You're right; I'm sorry. Didn't even notice I was doing that…."

Castor and Pollux dealt with fatigue differently: they kept eating. Food wouldn't give you energy in SAO, but the sensation of fullness was often believed to help cope with fatigue. It was some extra stimuli to keep the mind occupied, but it was inefficient. The twins had to carry all the weight of that food with them, slowing the whole group down.

And Peeler was one to harp on inefficiency, or anything else that irritated him:

"Why can't you two slowpokes keep pace, huh? This is really cutting into our XP per hour, you know!"

I told Peeler to take it easy; it was a _grind_ after all, not a sprint, but he didn't take kindly to that.

"If I ask one of those two to switch and they're too busy gorging themselves to get in position and swing their scimitars, we're going to have a problem. That's all I'm saying."

Perhaps the only person not visibly affected by our arduous farming schedule was Sachi. With each pull, she was a quiet machine: she deflected blows with her shield, executed stuns, maintained threat, and combo attacks to add some extra damage.

But even as we reaped in experience, items, and col, I never caught her truly happy about what we were doing. When Collmenter hit 61 midway through that afternoon, the others gave him a good high-five or cheered. I think I broke into a smile when I saw him try out a new two-handed sword skill that he'd unlocked, but Sachi? She didn't say a word about it.

"Do you guys think there's another group over the hill?"

There was a group over the hill, and on the hill after that, and on the hill after that. That was the one constant in our grind: low downtime between groups. I hadn't noticed it because I was used to it. It's how I'd leveled for many months on my own. I'd come out during the nights, when the best leveling spots were underpopulated, and I'd just go at it. If anything, it was easier as a group, if slightly inefficient.

Still, this quick pace was all Sachi's doing. She was the main tank; she set the tempo, and she never waited long.

Long hours of grinding. Constant combat. These were the ingredients in a recipe to wear people down, and I asked the others, outside of Sachi's earshot, if they were having the same issues I had felt. Their responses were all fairly similar. In Collmenter's words,

"It's just for a few more days. When we get to Christmas Eve, we should all finish the levels we're on and take a rest. Be fresh for the night. Then, it's over. We just have to make it until then."

So we kept on. We slaughtered Wolves and other animals to the wee hours of the morning. When we stopped at 3 AM, the first words out of her mouth were,

"Please, everybody, be back here and ready at 8, okay? I feel like we're taking too much time to get started."

And we headed home to rest, for a while. The walk home from the Londinium teleport gate was the longest walk I could remember taking in that game, and it was a good five minutes after we'd left the plaza that I blurted out,

"Aren't you tired, Sachi? Do you think we're going at this too hard?"

She shrugged.

"Not at all. I feel like I could keep going. We're really close to being able to handle that boss, aren't we? We just need to get a couple more levels. I don't want to feel like we slacked off now."

Sachi carried that attitude into the night. Even when we turned off the lights to sleep, I caught her staring at the ceiling. She lay in bed like a stiff board, legs straight, arms at her sides. I whispered to her,

"Are you cold? Come closer."

"It's fine. Don't worry. Just get some sleep."

I turned aside, hiding my eyes. I stared at the wall. I listened to her breathing. I recited all the names of the floor bosses in my mind: from Illfang to Hecate to Loptr and beyond.

It was as I was making my third go-round that Sachi got up. She tip-toed to the door and inched it open and shut. Then she did the same to the house's main door.

I sighed, and I opened my game map. A green triangle wandered through the Londinium streets to the teleport plaza and vanished. I had to check the guild list to see where exactly she'd gone.

Floor 46. The anthill.

The trek back to the teleport gate went by in a blur. I pushed my feet to go onward, even though they felt numb. I couldn't burn a teleport crystal just to get out there. The cooldown wouldn't finish by the time I made it to the anthill. It was never a good idea to go into the wild without a teleport crystal ready to use, especially at that time of night.

I teleported from Londinium to Ulyssippo, the town on Floor 46 closest to the anthill. Even at night, the city had a majestic feel to it, for moonlight shone on the castle on the hill and the city that had been built—or, perhaps, generated—beneath it on the way to the water. The red rooftops were faded at night, but they still stood out against the white-walled homes and other buildings.

The anthill wasn't far from town. Once you reached the other side of the castle and left the walled city, it was a five-minute hike to the edge of the Ants' territory. The place was well-known and well-guarded. Some representatives of the raiding guilds oversaw all farming on the grounds. That day, they were some men from Spirit Kings that I was unfamiliar with. One of them stopped me at the entrance to the grounds:

"Hey, you can't come in here. If you want some time on the anthill, you need to get in line."

"I'm not here to farm; I'm just looking for my guildmate. Have you seen her?"

The Spirit Kings guard squinted at my guild icon.

"Cat on a moon, huh? That the same guild as the girl who comes here by herself?"

The other guard nodded.

"All right, if you're with her, you can stay. She's got at least forty-five minutes before her time's up. If she says you're not with her, though, you gotta go. Got me?"

I nodded, and the guard escorted me onto the grounds.

We made our way around one pack of Ants near the entrance, staying near the perimeter of the area. One pack was unavoidable, so the Spirit Kings guard took out a mace and beat the creatures back despite their huge jaws and acidic mucous. Like most mobs in the outdoor world, the Ants wouldn't follow for you too far from where they'd originally stood, and they'd eventually retreat back to their starting locations like dogs on leashes. The only problem was that the Ants were very, very fast, but my escort did his best to stun, wound, and otherwise incapacitate the creatures as we made our way around. I commented on his approach:

"You don't seem to want to kill them."

He grimaced.

"I couldn't if I tried. Not high enough on the guild totem pole to get time in here _and_ stand guard like I've been asked to do. Your guildie must be pretty hot stuff."

We ended up going around half the anthill and at least three different entrances to the giant colony beneath us, but after a fashion, we found Sachi with a group of three Ants. She calmly stunned the whole group and proceeded to cut them down with a deliberate series of slashes and combos. When she finished, the Silver Flags guard called out,

"Miss! Is this guy with you?"

She turned her head like an ostrich on the savannah.

"I wasn't exactly expecting him, but maybe I should've. He's with me, yes."

The escort nodded to me casually, and I joined Sachi at the mouth of an entrance to the colony.

"How long have you been coming here?"

"Only three days. I can't really do too much because the rest of you would notice if I gave up too many last hits."

"Surprisingly well reasoned…for someone who's doing something incredibly reckless right now."

She raised both eyebrows, unimpressed.

"Is that really saying something, coming from the paragon of single-minded recklessness himself?"

"That's how I know this is reckless; this is exactly the kind of thing I would do. Let's go home, Sachi. Let's go home and sleep."

"You think I can sleep?"

"Coming out here to fight won't bring you peace."

"I know."

She glanced down one of the colony entrances. Far below us, Ants scurried about in packs, aimless in their wanderings except to pose a constant threat for the unwary adventurer who might lose track of them. Sachi watched a pack run out of view, and she sighed.

"I know there's not much of a chance, that the odds are against us, but if there's even a sliver of hope that the boss will drop the res item, I need to know we'll down him and get it. The last thing I want to do is stand up in front of that boss and engage him, only to find out we can't win. If we can't do that, if we can't bring back Aurora and everyone else who's died wrongly here…"

She trailed off, looking forlorn, but I circled around to catch her eye.

"You can't put too much hope into this. We don't even know that the item would work for Aurora! Or for the guild! How long do you think Kayaba would keep their bodies around, waiting to kill them?"

She shrugged. She even began to giggle.

"I don't know! It's crazy, right? I don't know, but I know I have to try. I will save _someone_ who didn't deserve to die. If I can't do that, then I'll have nothing. There won't be any point to being here anymore. I'll have nothing at all."

Hearing that was like getting slugged in the gut.

"Nothing at all, huh?"

She smiled sympathetically, and she took me by the hand.

"Don't take it the wrong way, Kirito. You've made being here, suffering through this horrific game, something I could bear for a while, but nothing's changed. We're still victims of this game, and it's not just Kayaba's cruelty we're victims of: it's from other people here, too. I can't sleep, Kirito, but I'm tired. I'm tired of making friends just to see them suffer and die. If we can't make the world bearable again, then I don't want to be a part of it. I don't think I could stand it. I just couldn't."

I closed my hand around hers and tugged lightly.

"Sachi, that's fine; it's not wrong for you to feel that way, but you need to come home. It isn't safe here."

She cocked her head.

"Is anywhere safe? Our bodies are withering in the real world regardless."

"There's a difference between dying years from now and dying tonight!"

"Of course there is. The difference is how much we have to endure before it's all over."

And with that, she let me go. she gripped her sword tighter and scanned the area for packs to pull.

"Come on, Kirito. Let's group up and kill some Ants."

I stared at her, gawking like a fool, but those hollow, defeated eyes of hers stirred something in me—enough to make me shake and quiver.

Enough to make me sheathe my sword. I pursed my lips and said,

"No, sorry. This isn't good for either of us. This isn't healthy, and we should go."

"Well, I won't."

"Then I won't stay here, either. I won't stay and watch you flirt with death or hear you refuse to listen to reason."

I offered my hand.

"Come home, Sachi. Please."

She sighed again, but a group of four workers caught her eye. She looked to them and back to me. She shut her eyes and sighed.

"I thought you understood me."

And so she trotted off to engage them, leaping into the middle of them without another word.

I didn't even wait there for Sachi to finish. I burned a Teleport Crystal to go back to Londinium, and I made the long walk from the gate to home alone. Londinium was dead quiet at that time of night, with only a few interspersed lamps to beat back the darkness. Where the lamps' light gave way, there was no telling where the darkness ended and my avatar's body began.

Compared to that, the light inside the house was blinding. It stung my eyes, and I dialed down the lamps as I passed them. I switched back to my sleeping clothes, and I stood in front of the bed—the bed with black sheets, the bed that was too big for one person. Sometime later that night, Sachi would come back. She would lie down beside me and pretend to sleep for a few hours, until it was time for our morning grind again.

My stomach knotted, and I think that's when I decided what needed to be done.

I snatched up my personal chest and dematerialized it. I labored under its weight, but I stepped out of the house just as the first fingers of dawn arrived.

We'd always hated the house, in a way. We'd hated how big and cavernous it always felt, for it was like an open wound that would never heal. And yet, as I left the house, I stood on the threshold between the street and the path to the gate. I looked back on that terribly ostentatious, extravagant villa.

And I fell.

I fell to my knees, and I wept there, on the road in front of our house. I broke down in the street with NPCs watching. My failure washed over me like a cold, soggy blanket on a rainy day.

But my failure wasn't yet complete until I took the first step down the road. It was a stubborn, stupid thing to do, but I was tired—too tired to stop.

Sachi and I were the same in that way.

We'd both given up hope on something dear to us.

#

I took my things over to Agil's place—a small, private apartment near the Londinium market—and crashed for most of the day. It wasn't like I hadn't been through long nights of gaming before, but this grind for the better part of two weeks had taken a lot out of me. I'll gladly farm experience in the wee hours of the morning to avoid competition, but that didn't mean I could go all day without a little rest to prepare for it.

I slept almost ten hours, but even when I awoke, Agil wasn't back from the market. For a while, I lay on his couch and stared at the ceiling. It wasn't unlike the first few days in Aincrad—waking up to an unfamiliar place, to a room layout that was foreign and disorienting.

During the day, the apartment building—or _insula_, as they called it in Londinium—was mostly quiet. Shops and businesses occupied the ground floor. Apartments on the next floor, like Agil's, were the largest and best furnished, and they had a common balcony for neighbors to meet and talk to one another, but that day, the dark iron balcony was quiet, as most of Londinium had become.

It was something of a surprise to realize I didn't mind that. I took some comfort that I could hear birds chirping from a tree outside. I didn't have to prepare dinner or tend to the garden out back. I could stretch, walk about, and even stomp my feet on the floor a bit, and no one cared. The NPCs in the shop below certainly didn't care.

There was no one else around who _would_ care.

That was a weird feeling. It wasn't _freeing_ because, well, that implies some enjoyment of it. There was some relief, yes, but also an emptiness to it. I'd cut something out of my life, but I had nothing to replace it with.

It was an hour until Agil arrived—his inventory full of groceries and knick-knacks like spyglasses, pocket watches, and other unusual items.

"Doing better, Kirito?"

I told him how the solitude had affected me, and he didn't seem too surprised. As he put his purchases away in an iron-bound chest, he said,

"I've heard a lot of stories like that. My mom and dad were in the army, right? As a kid, I used to play with another brat, the kid of some friends of theirs. The dad was having a tough time after having seen some action, and eventually, it got to the point where the mom just couldn't deal with it anymore. She took the kid and left; she went back to the States, just for her own sake."

"And how did that turn out?"

"I kept up with my friend through emails, and—"

"Wait, wait, they had email back then?"

Agil shot me a cross look, his finger hovering over chest management interface as though it were ready to press something out of existence.

"Very funny. I may be a little older than a runt like you, but I'm not ancient. We _did_ have the Internet back then, just don't ask me about dialup, all right?"

He cleared his throat, and he went on.

"Now, as I was saying, I kept up with my friend from time to time. He was happier being away from his father, definitely. The separation was good for him and good for his mother. Sometimes you do just have to let go."

"But what about the father?"

"What about him? What if I told you he overdosed on heroin and had to go into rehab? What if I told you instead that he became a successful security consultant for a large company? Would telling you those things affect the decision you made?"

He had me there.

"It's too hard to know what will happen, so there's no sense in worrying about it. Is that what you're saying?"

"Not just that. If you do predicate your decision on putting Sachi's wellbeing first, you'll be right back where you started. You're no help to her if you're constantly putting her health before yours. You have to be in a position to help her before you can actually try to do so. You need to remember that, Kirito."

"But what about the father? What really did happen to him? Did he turn to drugs, or was he a success after all?"

"He did both those things. Life's complicated. Success doesn't always lead to more success, but failure doesn't always lead to more failure, either."

I scoffed.

"Are you sure you just run a restaurant in the real world? You sound like you should do business as a guru."

"What do you think a bartender is?"

Couldn't argue with that logic.

"You've got a few days before Christmas, Kirito. Take this time to reflect and rethink your actions. This is a chance for you to be better prepared the next time you see Sachi, and you _need_ to be prepared. You can't let her frustrate you, and you can't let those frustrations boil over."

"And what happens with her until then? Until I'm 'ready'?"

"I'll keep my ear to the ground; if something's going on with Sachi or the others that are left in In Mem, I'll tell you, but don't put too much pressure on yourself, yeah? Her judgment may be impaired, but Sachi will try to see things through, I think. That means you have until Sunday to decide how you want to approach her."

So I'd sit on my hands for two whole days while Sachi was still out there, grinding with the group for 8 in the morning to 3 o'clock the next day? And as she filled up the dead time hunting ants all alone?

It was tough to accept, but Agil was right: this was no time to be rash. I'd made a snap decision to leave Sachi already. It would've been foolish to rush back in headlong without having thought things all the way through.

Sachi believed there was no hope left for us if we didn't get the res item, if someone like Aurora couldn't be brought back. The best I could do was to keep in mind Aurora's advice from our therapy groups: that we'd do the best we could to help, but we wouldn't always have all the right answers; that we'd help as long as we were able, but we might not have the ability, or the energy, to help at a cost to ourselves.

And for a day or two, I thought that was enough. I'd planned to go to the fir tree on Floor 35 and wait as Sachi and the others engaged the boss. Once they were done, I'd try to talk with her and give her my support again.

That's what I'd hoped for, but on Sunday afternoon, on a cold and snowy Christmas Eve, I got a message from Sachi.

_Merry Christmas, Kirito._

_I know I'm a little early saying that, but I wanted to wish you well. I don't know if I'll have the heart to say anything else after tonight._

_By now, you might have noticed I left the guild._

I flipped through my interface to the guild list. I was the only one left. Not even the names of the dead were left. They, like Sachi, had no record that they'd ever been in the guild at all.

_I'd hoped to stay a member of Black Cats until the very end, but you would find me too easily if I stayed._

_You see, the rest of In Memoriam has abandoned me, too._

_I think, after you left, they all had concerns. I was uneasy about trying to take on the boss with just the five of us at our level, so I asked the others to stay and level for the rest of the day, but they wouldn't have it. I lost my cool, really, and they all saw the state I was in, the state I'd so desperately tried to hide._

_So it's just me now, but I'm going to try anyway. If anyone's taught me how to solo dangerous mobs, it's you. It may seem impossible, but I'm going to try, for the sake of everyone who's died. I have to; I've been a part of more death than I can stand. _

_You know, before we lost the rest of the guild, I lost a friend I made earlier in the game. She was careful, for the most part. She didn't die because she pulled too many mobs or anything like that. She died while on her way back to town. Even someone careful and smart could be a victim of a random spawn. That scared me to death._

_I'm not that person anymore. You helped me grow stronger, to overcome those feelings. I'm grateful for that. I may no longer fear the monsters that surround us, but this game, and the kind of person who could make it, still haunts me. I think it must be part of Kayaba's cruelty, to force people like us to watch our friends and loved ones fall._

_That's one thing I fear still: I fear what would happen if I lost another friend. I fear what would happen if I lost you, Kirito. I'm stronger than I used to be, but I don't think I could take that. When In Memoriam was whole, I felt like I could depend on all those people. Since then, I depended on you more than ever._

_I know you've tried hard to keep me going. I was surprised to see you were gone when I came home the other day, but then I took some comfort from it, strangely: you have your limits, too. At times, it seemed like you were almost inhuman; you'd shrug off the terrible things that happened to us and find a way to fight again. I now know those qualities weren't otherworldly or special. They're things anyone can aspire to—anyone except me, I expect._

_If I don't come back, please don't weep for me, Kirito. It will only mean that I wasn't strong enough, which should be no surprise to either of us. Even if I die, you should aim to survive. This world is so beautiful sometimes—with its sweeping landscapes and detailed cities—that I must think there is more to it than simple cruelty, but I'm not sure. Find out the purpose of this world, and why a frightened, lost little girl like me could end up in a place like this. If I should die, that would be my greatest wish._

_And finally, take comfort in yourself. You have always been a bright star to me, shining ceaselessly to guide me through this long, dark night. I was lucky to have met you, and to have known your warmth._

_I hope to meet you again, either in this world or another._

_I love you very much._

_Goodbye._

I collapsed on Agil's couch after that. I banged my fist on the armrest and bit my lip. What would Agil say? Don't react rashly. Take time to think and consider and reflect. Make the best decision for myself. Something like that, right?

Well, once I'd bitten down as far as I could, I pulled up my messaging window and wrote to the only dependable person close to Sachi still:

'_Sachi's going to take on the boss all on her own. I don't know what I can do by myself to stop her. Can you and the others help?'_

_Collmenter: 'Yeah, that's going to be a problem. Rumor has it that someone's pinpointed the boss's spawn point. They're saying it's a fir tree on Floor 35.'_

That had to be Sachi's doing. I'd noticed the great fir on Floor 35 before, and it was known that Nicholas would spawn near a fir tree. I'd told Sachi that as reassurance: no matter what, we could guarantee we would be on the scene first, and none of the other raiders or anyone else would know about the boss before we had him down. I asked in a follow-up message,

'_Do the other guilds believe it?'_

_Collmenter: 'They believe it enough to redeploy the bulk of their raids to Floor 35 first. They're already starting to screen any groups of six or more to ask where they're going and if they're trying for the boss.'_

We'd never get through checkpoints like that unless we had enough force of our own. As distasteful as it was to consider fighting other players, it wasn't unprecedented when it came to rare spawns or event bosses. Other people would accept it as a risk, but just the five of us wouldn't stand a chance.

I left Collmenter with some parting instructions: to get our friends in the raiding community together, anyone willing to help us.

_Collmenter: 'What are you going to do?'_

I drummed my fingers on the armrest for a time before typing out my response:

'_I'm going to talk to Ezekiel.'_

#

In the weeks since we'd parted, Ezekiel had held on to some remnants of In Mem and established a new guild on Floor 46. The main city there was called _Floria_, famous for persistent, beautiful flowers that stayed open and blooming even in the winter.

I teleported to Floria and found the foliage there was as stunning as ever. A central garden surrounded the teleport plaza, with carefully trimmed patches of yellow, magenta, and blue flowers cut only by brickwork paths. Despite the cool weather, quite a few people were out and about—mostly couples, as you would expect on Christmas Eve.

Outside the teleport plaza, the foliage turned to wild, uncontrolled meadows, but they were no less vivid in color, even at that time of year. Only the occasional hut or shack interrupted the natural, unadulterated beauty of the place. It wasn't until you reached the hills and mountains well outside of town that you saw anything more sophisticated:

For instance, a medieval Japanese castle.

On a hill surrounded by a moat, a walled of castle estate formed an enclave against the wilderness, and yet it was also an integrated part of the countryside. Cherry trees grew beside the walls, shrouding much of the interior from view. Only the very top of the castle proper—an array of traditional, gently curved roofs—was visible from across the moat.

A place such as this would've had great value to any guild, especially for its size and spaciousness—if only it were in a more populated floor, or closer to the teleport gate. As it was, Ezekiel must've gotten it for a relative steal.

A single drawbridge connected the castle grounds with the outside. A tower overlooked the drawbridge, which had been left up, the guard in the tower looked upon me with skepticism and weariness.

"You know, if Ezekiel knew you were here, I'm pretty sure he'd want your ass on a platter."

That was Kali, who peered at me from the drawbridge tower with a relaxed, indifferent expression. She sat with her feet up and didn't move a muscle from her seat.

"Are you guys expecting an invasion?"

"Just don't like people walking in unannounced. What's up, Kirito?"

"I need to talk to Ezekiel."

Kali scoffed, and she tossed a cherry blossom down, one petal at a time.

"Was there something about wanting your ass on a platter that you didn't understand?"

"He can have my ass if he likes. I don't care."

"Oh really?"

She leered at me with an appraising look.

"That's entertaining to imagine."

"Be serious! A life is at stake here!"

"Whose life is that?"

"Sachi's. I don't have the manpower to save her from herself. Please, Kali."

She sighed, shaking her head.

"It's not me you you'll have to convince, but hey, if you want a crack at it…."

She reached for something out of sight—a lever? a control wheel?—and the drawbridge began to come down.

"Head up the path here in front of you to the garden. You should find him there about now."

"Thanks, Kali."

"Don't thank me. I'm just a glorified doorman right now. If you want to persuade Ezekiel, you'll be on your own."

The drawbridge clanked on the stone landing, and I strode across, following Kali's directions. It wasn't exactly clear _where_ the garden should be—the castle sat on three different levels, with retaining walls that barred access straight to the top. It took a little wandering to find the garden, but when I did find it, I heard some strange sounds inside:

"The da-ru-ma doll has fal-len o-ver."

A child, no more than six I guessed, uncovered his eyes and stared at a group of his peers. One of the other children lurched and stumbled.

"Sakura!"

With her name called out, the girl was caught. To the laughter of the others, she hung her head and and joined hands with the first child—a prisoner of war, so to speak. The first child looked across the others before turning around and covering his eyes once again.

"The da-ru-ma doll…"

I made my way around the other children as they crept up on the boy desginated _it_. Some of them didn't notice me; others looked at my armor and weapon, exclaiming in awe, but I put a finger to my lips to quiet them. They were playing a game, after all. I didn't want them to be distracted on my account.

The garden was full of children. Some played games, like the kids who played Daruma-san near the gate. Others climbed up trees and stared out across the landscape's flora, taking in the preternatural colors and beauty. The garden itself was worthy of their attention, too, with a small plot for bonsai, a sand garden, and a creek that wound through the area and drained via waterfall at the edge of the grounds.

The patron of this castle certainly appreciated it, too:

"So you see, kids, just because this world is artificial doesn't mean it's no less breathtaking, in places, than the real world. There are still beautiful things here—good things—that we can take the time to enjoy, that we can take comfort in."

A group of children sat before Ezekiel, who spoke to them just outside the sand garden. One of the children had a question:

"But why would someone who trapped us in here make something good for us? Why would he make something beautiful?"

Ezekiel pursed his lips and sighed.

"I honestly don't know. Perhaps he recognized that this world couldn't be seen as real without some beauty in it. If nothing else, I think we've seen that Kayaba wanted to make something real here, but only by filling this world with people could he make something truly real. Make no mistake, children: everything you do here, everything you say or do to another person, has real consequences."

Ezekiel snapped a twig off one of the nearby trees, and after a few moments, the twig disintegrated into shards and pixels.

"You see? Don't ever think for an instant that it will all be wiped away when we wake up from this nightmare. It all reflects on you, and I hope, when you get out of here, you'll take inspiration from this experience and choose to make a difference in the world, real or vitural."

A woman in glasses and short brown hair clapped her hands in respect.

"Well said, Ezekiel-san. Now, children, let's see go see the waterfall and leave Ezekiel-san and his visitor alone."

"Visitor?"

Ezkeiel followed the woman's gaze to me.

"Oh hell."

I winced, and all I could do was offer a lame deflection.

"Who says I'm a visitor?"

The woman blinked.

"You don't exactly match the color scheme of this place, or of the guild."

That was true—Ezekiel had taken to wearing a shiny yellow breastplate with a flower emblem. The rest of the garden was just as colorful, so my black attire stood out a bit.

Really, I think people in SAO were just hostile against black, though.

With that awkward detour behind us, Ezekiel bowed slightly to the woman.

"Sorry, Sasha-san, I think this may take a while."

"Take your time."

The woman Sasha tended to the kids as they toured the garden. With them taken care of, Ezekiel took me aside.

"So, what brings you here, Kirito? Come to see how we're doing out here in the middle of nowhere?"

"It's a beautiful castle you have here. I'm very impressed with it."

At that, he relaxed a bit, and he allowed himself the small comfort of touching one of the trees.

"It has its charms, but the only reason we could buy a place like this is because it's remote. You've seen all the kids, right? It's not safe to walk them from the teleport gate to here. We only managed to get them here thanks to the kind donation of a Corridor Crystal. Soothing as this area may be, there's a limit to how much we can do from a place like this."

"Why don't you keep up with the raid group, then?"

He shrugged.

"They don't want our help. So, we do what we can. These kids have been stuck in Starting City ever since the game began. Almost all of them have lived under constant scrutiny from ALF for months now, and this is, for most of them, the first time they've seen anything like this. That's a good feeling. This is what it means to make a difference, you know?"

"You don't have to convince me of that, Ezekiel."

"No? Then what do you want?"

"I need your help."

He scoffed at that, shaking his head.

"Is this the kind of thing you'd do with or without me? Because I think I remember that's how this went down the last time. Why don't we just skip the part where you ask me and I say _no_, so you can just go ahead and do it anyway—how does that sound?"

"Look, Ezekiel: this is about saving a life, about helping a person in need. That's exactly what In Mem was supposed to be about. That's what you're trying to do here, even though it's hard. Am I right?"

He folded his arms, frowning.

"All right, go on. I'm listening. Who's in trouble?"

"Sachi."

He groaned, starting to walk away.

"Your relationship problems are not matters of life and death, no matter how bad they may feel, Kirito!"

"This isn't a joke!"

I dashed around him, blocking the way.

"She no longer cares if she lives or dies. She's bent on seeking out a miracle, even if it costs her life. She's given up hope of being able to continue on in this world any other way. Tonight, at midnight, she's going to try to solo an event boss, and if people like us aren't there, too, I fear what might happen to her."

"Wow. You guys don't hold back, do you?"

Ezekiel rubbed his temple, sighing again.

"What do you need us to do? Seriously. We don't level as aggressively as full-time raiders do. We've got to be at least three levels behind the bleeding edge. What are we going to do that you or your raiding friends can't? Any of us from Everbloom—myself included—could be at more risk than Sachi is."

"I don't need you to fight. I need you because she might listen to you. Please, believe me when I say this: we went against you before, but we never thought you had bad intentions for the guild. We just thought you were wrong about how to safeguard the future. We always respected your intentions, Ezekiel. I think Sachi would respect them now, too, even when she's stopped listening to me."

"This is a high time for an apology."

I put both hands together and bowed.

"I can't go back in time and offer it any sooner. I'm sorry; this is the best I can do."

"You'll have to do more than that. You're asking me to work with you again, to trust you. Why should I? I asked you to work together before, and you refused me! Why should I trust you now?"

"I listened to Sachi before. I listened to Sachi and the others when I should've listened to you, when I should've listened to myself. I won't let that happen again. Are we going to disagree sometimes? I'm sure we will. I can't promise what I'd do then, just that I would try to respect your viewpoint, as I know you would mine."

With a sour frown, Ezekiel looked past me, then to the sky.

"No, Kirito. You can say the words all you like. You need something now, so you can say all the right things. Maybe you even believe them, but I won't be fooled again. Not by you, not by myself. You should try to do the same."

I pulled on my neck, gazing over the vast fields of flowers outside the castle. They stretched all the way to the horizon in arbitrary patterns of color—without any real meaning, yet they were vibrant and vivid all the same. Streaks of pink, purple, yellow, and orange peppered the landscape, holding their color despite the late season.

I shaded my eyes from the cold winter sun, and I said to Ezekiel, without even facing him,

"Why would you come here, then, to this floor of everlasting color, if you didn't believe flowers could still bloom even in the dead of winter?"

Ezekiel looked out, over the mass of flora beneath us, and he shrugged.

"It's artificial reality, Kirito. Human beings don't work that way."

"But maybe they should. Or maybe they should try."

I stepped in front of him, meeting his gaze.

"You know, Sachi pushed for weeks to go after the res item off Nicholas. She said it would inspire people, but that wasn't what she meant. She wanted it to inspire _her_. You don't have to help me now, Ezekiel, but you should learn from Sachi's mistake. Dare to believe in what you preach. Dare to believe in what you strive for. If you don't do that, then we're both liars."

I stepped aside, making my way toward the exit path. Ezekiel stood there, at the high tree that overlooked the fields of flowers, and he placed a hand on the tree trunk, leaning for support. As I walked away, I paused at the first bend in the path and called over my shoulder,

"Even if you don't choose to help me, or Sachi, choose to help yourself."

Ezekiel bowed his head, but he didn't answer.

#

He may have refused me, but I hoped things would go well for Ezekiel. Everbloom was doing good things. I'd even dared to dream that, one day, Sachi and I might be welcome back there, but that would've taken a lot of time—much more time than one hurried conversation could cover.

So I did the best with what I had. As often as I'd worried about how few people I played with regularly, outside of Sachi, when it came time to save her, there were quite a few people willing to lay their lives on the line for her sake. Klein agreed in a heartbeat, committing all of Fūrinkazan to the cause without even a promise of loot for them. Or, as Pascal explained it,

"We raid to save lives. Better gear helps over the long term, but it's not often we get the chance to directly save someone in danger. All of us would take that trade-off any day of the week."

At that, even cool and collected Pascal couldn't hide a smile.

"You could say the math is good for that, hm?"

The math was good for the rest of us. The remnants of In Mem plus Fūrinkazan made for almost three full parties. Agil and Lisbeth helped fill in the last couple spots. As merchants more than raiders, they were a little lower in level than the rest of us, but Agil was pretty close to raider level, and Lisbeth…had a hammer.

…yeah, I know it sounds bad, but it wasn't often people poked their heads out for events that could be really dangerous to them, yet Liz didn't even batt an eye at the thought:

"I spent too many dull days in the market with Sachi to just let her throw herself away like this. I don't care if the event's on Floor 100. If this hammer's all I've got to fight mobs off, then I'll swing it all day until they're dead."

And with a cocky smile, she swung that hammer around her head, punctuating her point and obliterating a dinner table in that Londinium inn. Well, as long as I wasn't on the hook for that bill, she could do what she liked if it got her in the mood to fight.

The only other person I considered asking was Asuna, but she was quite busy. As Castor explained it,

"Ah, the GM wants the guild to make sure people don't start attacking each other over this drop. Asuna's doing her best policewoman impression. I doubt she could pull everyone else for something like this. If someone got flagged on Floor 42 over this, Heathcliff would never let her hear the end of it."

So there we were, then. Our number was set: a gang of eighteen. We gathered in Londinium to stay out of the way of other raiding guilds, just in case they got wind of us and tried to block us from Mishe. We gathered for a last meal before marching on the Forest of Wandering, and having pulled together all these good people, I felt compelled to say a few words before we went out. I stood on top of a stool at the bar—and felt a little dumb doing it—and the rest of the room quieted down enough for me to be heard.

"Everyone, thanks for coming. I know, if Sachi were here, she'd appreciate all you're doing for her. I, uh…"

I looked over the room, from Klein's guild all around one square table, raising their glasses; to Collmenter sitting quietly, with his hands folded like a monk; to Liz shooting me a wink as she grinned from ear to ear.

I bowed my head, laughing to myself.

"Sorry, I don't know what to say, really. I'm just so thankful, so relieved, that you guys are here for her today."

Agil tapped his glass, raising it overhead.

"Don't apologize, Kirito, and don't thank us. We're all friends of Sachi's here, and that's what this is about. For this show of common decency, no gratitude is necessary. Don't worry about saying anything else. Let's just go bring Sachi home, yeah?"

To that, the room drank their toasts, and I hopped off the stool, taking up a cup to join them when a voice called to me from the door.

"I dunno. If you want to be a leader, you've got to have a good, inspiring speech up your sleeve every now and then. Trust me, not having one has bitten me in the ass every now and then."

Ezekiel. He ducked through the doorway with Kali and a half-dozen other Everbloom members in tow.

I raised an eyebrow, saying,

"Seems like I just used my inspirational speech earlier this afternoon, judging by the looks of this."

Ezekiel huffed, smiling wryly.

"Maybe you did. Ah well. What was it you said? Dare to believe in what we preach? That sounds like something we'd all like to try here. So, Kirito: where do you need us to be?"

As far as I was concerned, he was in the right place already. If In Mem could be rebuilt this way, then maybe—just maybe—there was hope for us and Sachi yet.

* * *

_Auld Lang Syne_ updates every two weeks, so look forward to the next chapter on Saturday, December 13, 2014, at 1 PM EST (10 AM PST), after the official stream of SAO II Episode 23.

Next time: "Mishe." The raid is assembled. The mission: save Sachi from herself, from the Christmas boss, and from any other players who might stand in their way, no matter what.

For notes and commentary on this chapter and others, check out the _Auld Lang Syne_ thread on Sufficient Velocity, linked from my user profile.


	10. Mishe

**Mishe**  
_Aincrad Floor 35 - December 24, 2023_

With our raid assembled, we split up to avoid attracting attention. Some of us teleported straight to Mishe; others went to neighboring towns and made the hike by foot to rendezvous on the north side of town. The Forest of Wandering was a twenty-minute walk from there, and with our numbers and levels, we steamrolled through all resistance on the way. Any mobs that happened to stroll across the road were cut down with extreme and unflinching prejudice. No one even took the time to admire their loot.

The Forest itself was a complex outdoor dungeon. Each square sector was linked to four other random, nonadjacent sectors. If the player didn't evacuate the current sector quickly enough, he would be teleported randomly to another sector. The only way to escape was by navigating the maze.

The NPCs in town sold a map of the Forest, however, and it showed which sectors connected to which others. I'd planned out this route with Sachi weeks before, so it took only a brief glance at the map to refresh my memory. Forward, left, right, back…as long as you could kill any mobs inside the sector, you would have no trouble getting to the next before the timer went off.

The problem we most feared wasn't a pack of mobs, though.

See, even in an outdoor dungeon like the Forest, SAO forbade private messaging or any other communication beyond what you could see or hear in the game world. That made surveilling such areas difficult, but most guilds still used one or two agile advanced scouts to map out dangerous areas. That day, these scouts were used not to map the Forest (since each group would have at least one person with the vendor-bought map) but to look out for other players.

We started noticing these scouts about ten minutes into the maze. They stuck to the edges of each sector and retreated if we made eye contact with them, but it was only a matter of time until they brought reinforcements. There were, in theory, many paths to the fir tree, but following a route that someone else had already figured out—that was much easier than devising one yourself. And we had the disadvantage of having to clear mobs along the way, mobs that our pursuers wouldn't have to fight.

It wasn't a big surprise, then, that someone caught up to us.

"You guys again?"

The man in sparkling armor—yes, that was Donovan, from Forgot to Repair, but there were more behind him, and not just from his guild. All in all, a group of thirty approached us, outnumbering us by a hair.

Donovan, for his part, seemed genuinely confused.

"I didn't think you guys were still a guild. What are you doing here, working with Klein?"

Klein drew his katana, leveling it on Donovan with both hands.

"Looks to me like we're doing the same thing you are. Should I bother asking what the meaning of this is, or should we get right to trading blows?"

"Look, we're all here to be equitable. You guys seem to know what you're doing. Lead us to the boss, and we can talk about an appropriate cut of the loot for you."

Klein glanced at me out of the corner of his eye, but I had to shake my head.

"If a whole bunch of other people are there, I don't know what she'd do. Maybe we should—"

"Nope!"

Nope?

"Fūrinkazan! Prepare for battle! Go on, Kirito! We'll hold them off!"

The members of Fūrinkazan drew their weapons, joining him in front of the group, but Donovan scoffed.

"Ten against thirty? Are you out of your minds?"

"I'd take ten of my guys any day over thirty of you! Bring it on!"

My appreciations would always be with Klein; without him, we never would've had a chance, and I didn't envy him for the difficult task he faced. It's hard to fight other people, to avoid killing them, without running the risk of getting killed yourself.

All Klein had to do as hold off and distract the whole of Donovan's combined force until the one-minute timer elapsed, and then they'd all be teleported to a random tile and have to quickly solve the puzzle to get back to a valid route. At that point, it'd probably be easier for them to go for the exit than to continue on.

As Klein and Donovan locked swords, the rest of went ahead.

It was a tense journey toward the fir tree, for though we crossed sector after sector, the tree would loom large in one area, only for us to jaunt away from it again. The evening grew later, and a light snow fell over the forest, unsettling for the lack of bone-chilling cold that we all expected.

But at last, around ten minutes to midnight, we came to the end of the path, to the fir tree.

And to Sachi.

She sat in the snow, her knees bent, her body casting a void on the ground, where the snow had melted or couldn't fall. Even as the rest of us arrived in the fir tree's sector, Sachi only glanced over her shoulder, staying put.

"There's more of you than I thought."

She laughed to herself, staring at the sky again.

"You never do anything halfway, do you, Kirito?"

"I'm not taking any chances with your safety, no."

"I'm not leaving."

"I didn't expect you would when I haven't even had the chance to talk you into it yet."

She peered over her shoulder again, at me and then at the rest of the group.

"Guys, you all don't need to stay; it's cold, and you all should be with people you care about and who've cared about you now."

Ezekiel looked left and right, down the line of the group, and said,

"I don't think anyone's leaving without you, Sachi."

"I'm prepared to die fighting this boss. Are you?"

"If that's what it takes to keep you from throwing your life away, yes, in a heartbeat."

I took Ezekiel aside, whispering,

"That's not what we talked about."

"She's not budging. What are we going to do—carry her away? We're all here. Anyone who doesn't feel ready to fight can go, no questions asked. You guys were prepared to do the boss with just six people, right? We've got fifteen. If the boss is dead, she's not in danger anymore."

"Killing that boss won't help her put those feelings aside, even if it does drop the res item."

"Then we have to be there for her then; this is the only way I see for us to be there for her _now_."

I took a heavy breath, and I looked back to Sachi.

"All right, fine, we stay and fight, but if we're overwhelmed, we're leaving. I don't care if that makes the boss despawn. You may not be concerned about your own life, Sachi, but these are our friends, and I will not see them risked needlessly here."

Sachi stared at me for a moment, saying nothing, and she faced the sky once more with a small nod.

The group waited in silence as the snow continued to fall. Most checked their weapons and armor, to make sure nothing would break during the middle of a fight—or at least, that was the ostensible reason, but really it was more of a nervous tick for people than anything.

As the minutes wound down to midnight, I walked around the edge of the sector, just to make sure we weren't being watched. With Searching active, the world turned to otherworldly shades of black and green, making anyone in Hiding stand out. I glanced over the group and scanned the perimeter.

A bright green silhouette stuck out among the trees.

I did my best to let my eyes slide over the person, trying not to let my gaze linger.

"Ezekiel! Let's fan out around the tree. We don't know where he'll spawn, right?"

Kali answered the call right away.

"You want your group over there, Kirito? I'll take mine to the north."

The parties move into position, ready to deal with whatever came to us. I led my group toward the green silhouette, and as I took a position just across the tree from it, I gave the others instructions:

"Sachi and Peeler, you guys got the middle? Twins further down; Collmenter and I will camp out here."

From the corner of my eye, I studied the green shape. Even though it was invisible to the naked eye, it hid halfway behind a tree trunk, obscuring any distinguishing features.

"Something wrong, Kirito?"

That was Ezekiel.

I glanced back at the figure in green.

"We have a scout watching us."

"We do?"

Ezekiel shuffled his feet, kicking a little snow away.

"Probably waiting for us to soften up the boss before they get the rest of their guild and nab the kill. You wanna chase him off?"

"If we do that, then their guild comes right away. Think we can burn down the boss before they can get here?"

Ezekiel shrugged.

"No way to know but to try."

With that, I cast one more look at the scout and turned Searching off.

The minutes ticked away. 23:59. We all watched our interface clocks and bathed in the glow of the fir tree—an unnatural blue-white glow that made it look more like a fluorescent stick than a piece of nature.

At ten seconds to midnight, the bells began to ring—heavy, lumbering bells, like those of a clock tower.

"It's here! The boss is coming!"

That was followed by lighter bells—jingle bells, perhaps? I know of the song, but I'm not actually sure which kind of bells would be actually jingle bells. Never mind. They were bells, too.

"Look! Up in the sky!"

Two white lines streaked across the night; they followed a straight path and zoomed past the tree line, fading away.

But a dark blob fell from that path, and it headed straight for us.

Crash! It plowed into the earth and splattered snow in a shockwave all around us, through us. Only when the snow cleared did I get a good look at it:

A giant, pallid monstrosity, dressed like Santa Claus—that was the enemy we faced. His upper arms were bare, even though his forearms weren't—strange, right?—and his eyes were crooked and unfocused. He stood two or three times the height of any normal player, and he wielded a giant battle-axe whose blade was wider than the trunks of some trees.

And with a creaky, cantankerous voice, the monster—Nicholas the Renegade—yelled for all to hear:

"This world is overcome with naughty children, none of them deserving of generosity! Come to me, you ill-behaved brats! Come to me, so I can punish you! Defeat me, and you may take the treasures you no longer deserve! But that will be a tall order. Just you watch…."

With the boss in position, waiting to be engaged, Ezekiel held up his dagger, so that the light from the fir tree glinted off his blade. He called out,

"Everyone ready?"

"Ready!"

We all shouted back to him, and he smiled.

"Kill the thing!"

Ezekiel didn't have to ask twice. Sachi charged the boss, and we followed her lead.

"There'll be no lumps of coal for the likes of you! When I'm done with you, only scraps for the elves will be left behind!"

The first minute of a new boss fight in SAO—that's the most intense thing in the world. No one knows what the boss might do. No one knows what to look for. Most of us didn't even engage Nicholas; aside from the tank switch rotation, we were all waiting just to see what he would do first, what trick he had up his sleeve.

At first, it was disappointing. Nicholas swung at Sachi with no special attacks—just simple, predictable swings. After a few seconds of watching that, our three groups of DPS took positions near Nicholas's legs. I broke into a seven-hit combo, cutting and slashing at Nicholas's knee. That's the boring part of a boss fight, really: you're throwing tons of damage around, and it doesn't make a bit of difference until the boss abruptly dies.

And meanwhile, the boss goes into a new phase totally unconcerned with how hard you're hitting:

"I see you're not here to play around! Well, neither am I! Elves of Christmas, come to my aid! Give me the strength and speed to slaughter these fools!"

Like so. Nicholas's voice boomed through the sector, and from the trees emerged a horde of Christmas Elves. Individually, they were small, waddling things, in green and red felt hats.

"I got one!"

Kali peeled off the boss to engage them. She assaulted one with a Crane Strike combo: she crouched, jabbed the Elf twice in the chin, kneed its gut, and finished the combo with a dazzling right cross. WHAM!

The Elf tumbled backward from the finishing it, but when Kali went to finish it off, it scooted past her, making a beeline for Nicholas.

"They're fixated on the boss!"

That got Ezekiel's attention; he broke from overseeing the DPS switches and scanned the area.

"Okay, off! Everybody off boss; take care of the adds!"

At Ezekiel's word, everyone but Sachi and Peeler made for the Elves. We spread ourselves out as thinly as we could: a man to one or two elves each. They didn't have a ton of health, but their constant walking made some combos difficult to pull off. I tried a Vertical Square on one of them—downward cut, left-to-right, downward cut—but it wandered off before I could get the fourth hit through, leaving me with a useless post-combo delay and little to show for it.

"They're getting through!"

Pop! Pop-pop-pop! Four Elves made a sickening sound when they reached the boss, disappearing like balloons stung by pins. And the boss reacted to their sacrifice: he flexed his arms, and strength rippled through him. His muscles bulged, and his beard turned darker and more colorful—a sign of vibrance, of youth.

"I created the Elves to help me with my task; now, that task is pointless, and their magic comes back from whence it came! Hah!"

Thud! The axe clanged on Peeler's shield, dropping his health almost ten percent, and in one motion, Nicholas twirled the axe around to swing again. Thud!

It was stacking a buff. Each Elf that reached Nicholas increased his damage and attack speed. We had to whittle him down from that point without sacrificing too much damage to take care of any more Elves that spawned. If we got to aggressive, the increase in boss damage would overwhelm the tanks and force us to reset it.

"More Elves!"

This wave was smaller; only three or four Elves, staggered in their spawn time. It was more of a steady trickle than an outright rush. Ezekiel sized up the situation and gave out his orders:

"Okay, my group and Kirito's group, we've got one or two people looking for Elves and taking them out at all times. Collmenter, you guys do the same for the back line. Each group covers a third of the area. Everybody got that?"

With area assignments for the raid, we kept up with the continual spawns of Elves well enough. It slowed down damage on the boss, but the most important thing was to keep any additional Elves from reaching Nicholas. As long as we could buy enough time to clear his stack, the damage wouldn't run away and get out of hand. Every so often, a full wave of ten or more Elves would spawn, and invariably, some would get through, but we dealt with the smaller straggler waves handily, and the boss's damage stayed relatively consistent.

But of course, just when you start to get really comfortable with a phase of a boss fight, the fight throws something different at you. That started around 50%, with Nicholas giving a shout,

"No! Not enough! Not enough, I tell you! I must have more! Come Dasher, come Dancer, come Prancer and Vixen! On, Comet! On, Cupid! On, Donner and Blitzen! Saint Nicholas needs you now! Protect the Elves, so that I may crush these naughty children!"

The lines in the sky—the gleaming trail of Nicholas's flying sleigh—raced back into view, and as a new wave of Elves approached from the tree line, a seres of red and green circular runes appeared on the snow-covered ground.

"Incoming!"

PAM! PAM-PAM-PAM-PAM! The runes disappeared, and giant candy canes bombed the spots they marked, exploding on impact. They showered the raid in small, sticky projectiles. Collmenter followed an Elf into a set of four runes, and his health dropped in half from the hit. He staggered from the impact, straining to move with sticky goop covering him from head to toe.

"Watch out on that slow! You'll be a sitting duck for the next one if you've got no movement skills!"

But that wasn't even the worst of it. With so many of us ducking for cover, a half-dozen Elves made it through, and this time, Nicholas wasn't content with just letting them merge their magic and strength into him.

"I'll consume them whole if I must, to make sure their power doesn't fade away so quickly!"

He took a whole handful of Elves and bit at their heads the way one would the end of a lollipop. Thankfully, the Elves disintegrated as soon as he bit, but the nauseating impact of this animation was nothing compared to the effect it had on the fight. While tanking Nicholas and dealing with his superpowered axe swings, Sachi noticed it straight away:

"The stack's not falling off!"

You could see the icon next to the boss's health: the power Nicholas gained from consuming Elves was a status effect, that showed both a stack counter and an animation to tell when it would fall off. The stack was going up with each Elf consumed, but the icon itself stayed bright and steady, even when we defended a wave completely.

The boss would get stronger and stronger as the fight went on, and with the bombardment from the reindeer above us, it would be difficult to keep more Elves from empowering him.

That didn't demand a lot of change in strategy—we just had to get the Elves down as fast as possible while learning how to dodge the candy cane bombs—but there was another wrinkle that neither we, nor the encounter designer, could've counted on:

"Stand back! Step away from the boss! This is DDA's boss fight from here on out!"

Coming through the barrier between this sector and its distant neighbors was an army of DDA raiders, led by none other than the master prick himself, Lind. With a flick of his sword, Lind gestured to his wannabe samurai minions, who intervened in the attempt and body blocked the rest of us from the boss. They outnumbered us two-to-one.

"You guys already got him to half? This should be a piece of cake, then."

Ezekiel glared daggers at Lind, a look almost as sharp as the blade in his hand.

"So it was you guys. You scouted us out and waited for the perfect opportunity to ninja a kill from us."

"Scouted you out?"

Lind raised an eyebrow, but after a moment's consideration, he broke into a smirk.

"Well duh. Why put my own raiders at risk blindly on a first attempt?"

"You expect us to just tell you how do this boss properly, then?"

Lind frowned, sizing up Ezekiel.

"If I did, should I trust anything you'd tell me?"

"Don't let any of the Christmas Elves touch the boss. As satisfying as it would be to see you guys panic, the stack doesn't fall off. Avoid the candy cane bombs, and you won't have too much trouble. Positioning might be a bit difficult, though."

"Why's that?"

"All your big heads are going to bump into each other."

Sneering, Lind stuck his nose into the air, strutting to the boss's rear, so he could put in a few token sword strikes on the boss. About ten or so of DDA's people stayed behind to keep us away from the boss and well-behaved. At sword-point, we stood by as the boss's health fell. For all that we resented DDA, their people generally knew how to execute, and with a group of almost thirty, they cut through the Elves and the boss's health quickly. Their tanks switched off like clockwork. Even the panicky Ringo held fast, deflecting Nicholas's axe swings lest the blade stick in his shield.

And all of us watched helplessly, as prisoners. All of us, of course, except for Sachi: she rolled her sword around in her hand, staring as Nicholas fell below 20%.

"They can't come out here while we're already fighting the boss and just steal it away from us."

She held her sword level at her side, drawing some attention from the DDA guards, but Sachi held her place until a cry came out from the DDA tanks at the boss:

"Okay, switch!"

ZIP!

She blasted past the guards, kicking up a spray of snow in her wake. She forced herself to the boss's front, body-blocking a DDA tank out of the way, and Nicholas's axe clanged off Sachi's shield.

"Are you serious?"

That was Lind, hardly suppressing his laughter.

"You want the boss? Gonna save us the trouble of taking heat from him? Go right ahead!"

Sachi peeked over her shoulder with a smug smile.

"Okay, you asked for it!"

She started to backpedal, stepping out of the way as Nicholas's axe hit the snow and dirt. She backpedaled Nicholas into a trio of runes on the ground.

"Scram! It's in the bomb radius!"

One of the DDA forwards yelled to the others, and the lot of them scattered, just as the candy cane bombs showered the snow in sweet, sticky fragments of green, red, and white shards.

Lind scowled, and he drew his sword.

"All right, not funny. Give us the boss back, or this is getting serious."

"Make me!"

Sachi parried an axe swing, but her arm buckled under the force of the blow, and a good fifth of her health ebbed away.

At that, Lind stepped back, twirling his sword like a baton.

"Doesn't look like I need to."

Lind was right. With Sachi all by herself, Nicholas would surely kill her within a minute. And since Sachi had run off past the DDA guards, they were even more watchful and wary than before: they'd drawn their weapons, ready to cut us down (flag or not) if we dared step out of line.

I crouched to a knee, bowing my head, and put my hands to the snow.

"Oi, Kirito, we've got to do something to help Sachi here!"

That was Agil, but I nodded absently, not even looking at him. I took a bit of snow between my hands, pressed it hard and compact, and said,

"Just follow my lead."

"Your lead? What are you going to do?"

One of the DDA guards stomped ahead, coming between us.

"You two, stop talking!"

"Like this, Agil!"

Fwump! I slammed the snowball into the DDA guard's face. He tumbled to the ground, and I breezed past him. A DDA member raised a mace to me, but I slid underneath a wide, sweeping swing and ran in.

"Sachi, let me have it!"

Her eyes wide, Sachi fended off an overhead swipe of Nicholas's axe, saying,

"But Kirito, you can't do that for long!"

"I can do it for a little while! Get safe!"

She turned and ran, and I swapped in just in time for Nicholas's glimmering axe to come down on me.

Clang! I parried the blow, and my arm felt like jelly. Wincing, I called over my shoulder,

"Guys! A little help would be nice!"

But the prisoners and their guards traded volleys of snowballs, stalemated. Liz, for her part, was leading the offensive: she caught one DDA guard in the face and raised her weapon, yelling,

"Come on! We need to get Peeler and the other tank free to help Sachi! Pick off these guards, and let's get them out of here!"

Ezekiel's tank, Frakkis, managed to escape when two nearby guards were slugged with ice balls, but that still was only enough for a tenuous rotation.

"I can take it if you need, Kirito!"

I shook my head and dodged another violent swing of that axe.

"I want to buy Sachi as much time as I can! I'll hold, for a little while!"

Of course, that was easy to say. Not only did I have to worry about my own health, but I had to drag the boss in and around the candy cane runes to fend off DDA's damage dealers. Damage on Nicholas ground to a halt, with him hovering around 15%, and with DDA people still having to fend off the Christmas Elves, Lind finally blew a gasket.

"Are you out of your goddamn mind? What the hell do you think this is going to do for you, huh? There are too many of us. We're getting the last hit. You're just making things hard on yourselves—and us—for no point!"

Sachi raised her shield, facing Lind down.

"We were here first; this is ours, and you have no right to it. We're here for the res item—to try to do something right for people in this game. What are you here for? Loot?"

"What else is there in this world?"

"A lot, but I guess you'd never understand that. Understand _this_, then: we have control of the boss, and unless you think you can force your way back in on a switch, we're keeping it. Don't get your own people killed trying to keep damage on it. There's no need for lives to be lost here!"

Lind narrowed his eyes, and he marched past Sachi to the boss's front.

"The only person losing his life here is the guy tanking _our_ boss! We're the strongest guild in the game. Either you're one of us, or you're not. I make sure my members have the best weapons and strongest armor in the game, so if you're gonna stand in our way…"

Shink! Lind drove his sword through my back, and six centimeters of blade stuck out through the other side.

"…then there's only one thing left to do with you."

I staggered; the blade hindered my movements, so Ezekiel's tank Frakkis switched in and walked it aside. My health fell below half, and each second the sword stayed there, small particles emanated from the wound, taking some HP with them.

I tried to breathe, and I could feel the blade's edges inside me as my chest heaved. Even though no one needed to breathe in SAO, it was an alarming sensation, to say the least. I choked for breath.

"What? You scared? Scared you're gonna die? Well, maybe you should be!"

I grabbed the tip of the blade and tried to push it back through my body and out. The edges dug into my hands, cutting them up, too. Though I planted my heels for traction, my feet gave way on the snow, and Lind pushed forward with his own weight to keep the sword there.

"The rest of you, step back, or I'll bleed every last point of HP off him. What'll it be, huh?"

The tip of a rapier touched Lind's temple.

"I'd rethink that idea if I were you."

Sachi and Peeler yanked the sword out of me, and I burned a Healing Crystal to recover most of my lost health. Asuna, who still had Lind at swordpoint, cracked a small smile as my wounds closed, but as soon as her eyes were back on Lind, her expression turned back to that of a hunter cornering her prey. A group of nearly twenty KoB stalwarts filed in behind her, cornering the DDA members and driving them away from the boss.

"Haven't you heard, Lind? We send people to prison for attacking other players these days. As far as I can tell, you're the one who's flagged, and no one's done anything to provoke you."

Lind narrowed his eyes, considering his words.

"You can't raid the Labyrinth without DDA. You send me to jail, the guild will refuse to raid in protest."

"Why would people who put loot over everything else in this world stay in a guild that isn't raiding?"

Lind growled at that, and the rest of the DDA ranks began to grow restless, reaching for their weapons again despite being outnumbered.

I went to Asuna's side, whispering,

"Maybe we want to get these guys out of here before there's more trouble?"

Asuna eyed me curiously.

"That's letting him off light."

"Punishing Lind isn't my top priority right now."

Asuna's gaze flickered to Sachi, who was about ready to take her turn with the boss again.

"All right."

She cleared her throat and addressed Lind.

"Get out of here, DDA. Go into the maze and lose yourselves. I don't want to see any of the rest of you until we start raiding again. Do that, and I'll forget what happened here."

Grumbling, Lind sheathed his sword, and the rest of DDA filed out behind him. They trudged through the forest and vanished as they crossed the border of the adjacent sector.

"And good riddance!"

The formerly stern and cold-blooded deputy GM left that parting shot for Lind and his comrades, drawing some laughter from the rest of the group and slight embarrassment on Asuna's part.

"Well, I guess I should say I'm glad I made it here before things really got out of hand."

I coughed at that.

"I thought you weren't planning on helping us. Why did you come here?"

She coked her head at that.

"You saw our scout, didn't you?"

Her scout, not DDA's. The green silhouette I'd seen in the woods—Asuna had had him placed there the whole time, since before midnight.

"I mean, he thought you must've sussed him out with Searching. But, it's natural I'd have a scout here, isn't it? If you guys were right, this would be the site of a great fight."

I raised an eyebrow at that, and Asuna, going a little red in her cheeks, averted her eyes.

"Well, it's not that I didn't want to help you guys, but it's a relief that I could make KoB available to help anyone who might've been in need today…yet still I could be here, too."

She smiled warmly on finishing that conclusion, before going on to say,

"Now, are we going to kill a boss or what?"

That's right. With all the commotion, you could be forgiven for almost forgetting there was a boss to fight.

Though at this point, it may as well have been a formality. With KoB helping out, and the boss already quite low, it was more of a light show of Sword Skills than a real fight. We had extra tanks to put in rotation, relieving the pressure on Sachi and Peeler drastically. We had more than enough DPS to kill the steady trickle of Elves and to deal with the surprise horde spawns that otherwise would've overwhelmed us. When one or two people would get caught in a candy cane bomb, we'd just have them step off to the side, far away from the Elves or the boss, and sit back to recover some health for a while. With the overabundance of people, Nicholas stood no chance.

And though I'm loathe to admit it, there is something beautiful about striking down a boss in SAO. When everything is _right_, and you're not dealing with freak, unexpected mechanics, you're free to just let the system guide your sword. You launch into swirling, acrobatic combos. Your sword glows with all the colors of the rainbow, and brilliant streaks of light slice through your foe. On that night, that dark Christmas Day, In Mem stood reunited. KoB had our back, and all of us diced and bashed Nicholas the Renegade with our weapons—our maces, our axes, our swords. Our swords shined with the light of hope itself, and the only thing that could damp that light was the need to slow down, so one person in particular could claim the last it.

We stopped with Nicholas's health at a sliver, and Asuna sheathed her rapier.

"Go on, Sachi-san. I think I speak for everyone when I say that the honor is yours."

Frakkis deflected an axe swing, and Sachi switched in. In that brief gap in the boss's attack timer, Sachi stomped her left foot and brought down her sword.

TCHEW!

She sliced backhanded, cutting across Nicholas' knees.

TCHEW!

She cut from overhead, slicing across his hip.

TCHEW!

And with her sword beaming with blue-white light, she swung with a backhanded uppercut, gashing Nicholas's chest. Four streaks of blue-white light formed a square, which spun and dissipated with the blow.

And Nicholas fell along with it.

"No! I will not give in to the likes of you! I will not give freely anymore! If you want my gifts, you'll have to take them! Take from my…corpse…eugh."

With that, Nicholas keeled over like a felled tree, and he shattered on impact with the ground, leaving only a yellow sack of loot behind. The rest of us stood around the bag; there was only one person we could let touch it.

"Go ahead, Sachi. This is yours."

She looked to me, wide-eyed, and then with a nod, she tip-toed over to the sack, touching and holding that touch. That brought up an interface menu with the full list of loot inside, which she scrolled through carefully, looking for something unique and magical.

"Oh…I don't—it's here! It's actually here!"

She tapped the item's entry in the loot list, and it materialized in front of her, falling into her hand. The rest of us crowded around Sachi, trying to get a look at the thing. It was a jewel, or perhaps a crystal egg—quite a beautiful thing, I would say.

"But how do you use it?"

That question came from the crowd, and none of us knew the answer. Sachi touched the item, and a dialog appeared with flavor text and use instructions.

_Sacred Stone of Rebirth  
Can be used from the player's shortcut menu or when materialized. Shout "Revive: (player name)" to revive a fallen player. Must be used between the death of the player and the end of the death animation (approximately ten seconds)._

Ten seconds.

A pall came over all of us, and Sachi, her head hanging low, let the stone slip out of her hand. It made a soft _thump_ as it landed amid the snow. She started walking, the crowd parted to make way for her.

"Sachi, wait!"

I jogged after her, getting in front of her before she made it to the woods.

"Where are you going?"

She cast her gaze aside and wandered on.

"Please, Kirito. I think I need to be alone for a while."

"We're all here for you, Sachi. Please, don't forget that."

She stopped, casting her eyes about the crowd—from Ezekiel and his new guildmates, to Collmenter and the rest of our party, to Liz and Agil, and to Asuna and her knights in red and white.

But Sachi's gaze was bleak and forlorn, and all she could muster was a small nod before she disappeared into the woods.

#

I came out of that fight thinking, was there anything I should've done differently? Should I have made her promise we'd see each other again, at least one more time?

Agil pointed out to me that, even if she'd agreed to such a thing, it would've been empty.

"She could say _yes_ just to get you off her back. Give her a few days, then remind her that people who care about her are still around."

I tried to do just that. On the 28th, I asked Asuna and Lisbeth to check in on Sachi. The girls went to lunch at the café in Paname. Lisbeth got Sachi to say that the decor was "nice."

And, when asked if she planned to kill herself, Sachi apparently said,

"I don't know yet. I thought we'd be able to bring someone back, or I would die against the boss. I didn't think this would happen, that I'd still be here, when things are the same as they were before…."

That was a good sign—she hadn't yet _decided_ for sure that she wanted to take her own life.

When asked about me, though, Sachi had this to say:

"I might talk to Kirito alone, at some point. Soon."

I had no choice but to take that statement at face value, so I did my best to pass the time. I went out with Ezekiel's group and worked a light leveling schedule, to help them get back up to speed with top-level raiders. With agreement from Collmenter and the rest of our group, we started talking about merging back in with Ezekiel and Everbloom, probably under the In Mem moniker again. In the words of Ezekiel,

"Sometimes families quarrel, right? But what makes them family is that they reconcile when it's all said and done. There's still a need for a group like us. I'm ready to make something big again, and to work with good people in doing so."

One of the good works we did, which kept me busy while waiting for Sachi, was visiting with Hera and SniperX in prison. SniperX, for his part, seemed to understand what had happened to him pretty well:

"We did what we did because we believed we were entitled to it. The reality is, there's no such thing as entitlement. There's only what people agree to let you have and what you can take from them with or without repurcussions. Didn't matter if we were right that we could use stuff better than you guys. The cost was too high."

"So you wouldn't do it again?"

From the back corner of his cell, SniperX looked back at me with folded arms, his face half in light and half in shadow.

"The goal was to get out of this game. Sitting here on the sidelines doesn't help with that. Killing someone, even accidentally, doesn't help with that."

Where SniperX had gained some perspective, Hera had not. She'd taken to pacing about her prison cell in frustration, and when I visited her, she was quick to point a finger at me.

"This is your doing, isn't it? I know it is. You pulled it off damn bastards. You guys just waltzed right in and thought you could take something from me, something that matters."

"What did we take from you?"

"Raiding. You took raiding away from me. I was helping get us out of this game, and now…"

She kicked one of bars of her cell. The bar didn't even budge, and a popup notification told everyone around that the bars were Immortal Objects and couldn't even be damaged, so it was pointless to try. Hera didn't care. She kicked the bar again anyway.

"Reduced to nothing. Reduced to meaninglessness. That's all I have left."

Hera deserved her incarceration, don't get me wrong, but I took something from her words. It's hard for a person to lose something meaningful to them—a friend, a lover, or a choice of pursuit. I had to think Sachi was feeling the same way.

But I couldn't be there for her until she wanted me to be there. Sometimes, I'd catch myself glancing at the messaging panel in my interface. Could a message have snuck by me while I wasn't looking? Not possible, right? The notifications were in-your-face prompts that you couldn't ignore. But I looked anyway, several times, and found nothing.

No, there was never going to be that kind of message, for Sachi reached out to me with a physical (so to speak) note instead, left at Agil's door.

"Kirito: meet me at the Myujen market, Sunday night, before the clock tower rings in the new year. —Sachi."

#

Sunday night. New Year's Eve.

Of all the places I'd hoped to meet Sachi again, Myujen was the last one. Without a doubt, it was a beautiful city, but its location worried me: sitting at the southwest corner of the floor, it was very easy for someone to lose their life there. All it would take was one step over the edge, and not even in the protection of the Area would save you.

But Myujen was a festive town, and the raiding community had taken it upon themselves to celebrate the new year almost as much as the NPCs in town were. Some players with high Cooking skill set up stands to sell noodles, and business was booming, for a crowd of players had gathered in the market. There, some NPCs had come together to hold a singing contest. Two teams—a red team and a white team—stood at the center of the market, where the Christmas tree had been, and one of the participants performed for the assembled crowd. At front and center was a boy who looked like he could hardly keep his voice steady, but his singing voice was earnest and sweet:

_How much longer must we sleep until New Year's Day?  
When the New Year comes around, let's go fly a kite!  
And take a spinning top and set it on the floor!  
Oh, hurry up so we can play! Come on New Year's Day!_

Ah, for the days of childhood and innocent games, right? I think most of the crowd appreciated the sentiment, for they listened patiently as the boy went through another couple verses and gave him warm applause when he was done. I put my hands together too, even as I craned my head around to look for Sachi. She _had_ said to meet at the market, but amid that crowd and the unused vendor stalls, I was having a tough time finding her.

"Excuse me."

There was a tug on my sleeve; a girl I didn't know—not too young, but rather short and childish-looking, with two short pigtails—peered up at me. I couldn't help but stare at her for a bit, not just for her young appearance but for the blue dragon whelp that was curled up on her head.

She blushed a bit, and I realized I'd been staring.

"Ah, sorry, just didn't expect to see a creature in town. Are you a beast tamer?"

"Oh, yes!"

She bowed.

"Beast Tamer Silica, at your service. Pleasure to make your acquaintance, Kirito-san."

"How do you know my name?"

"Because I'm on a quest, and my objective is to retrieve you. Now, are you going to come willingly, or do I have to drag you to the quest giver?"

I stifled a laugh at that.

"Did Sachi put you up to this?"

"Eh?"

She pouted.

"How did you know?"

"Just a hunch."

I offered my arm.

"Lead the way, Beast Tamer. I am a mere objective; I have no will of my own, so I am bound to follow you."

Silica led me out of the crowd, and we talked for a bit about her familiar Pina and the process of taming it. She took me to an alley southwest of the market, where the air was clear and the stars bright—a sign of being close to the edge of Aincrad. Sure enough, I could see the preventative railing that guarded against accidental falls. An oil lamp lit the area, but Silica and I were in shadow.

"Thank you, Silica."

Taking a step out of the dark, Sachi appeared before the two of us, and she placed a small pouch into Silica's hand.

"You've done me a great favor. I hope you and Pina are well in the future. Have a good new year."

Silica bowed again.

"The same to both of you. It was nice to meet you!"

With that, Silica ran off, and her familiar Pina took off, flying beside her. They turned a corner, into the market again, and went out of sight.

And then Sachi hugged me—as tight and warm an embrace as I could ever remember from her.

"Sorry for all the cloak and dagger business. I just didn't want to have to go out there, into the light. I'm happy you came, Kirito. I'm really happy."

"You are?"

"Of course. I'd regret it if I didn't see you again."

A knot formed in my throat, and it was all I could do to stammer,

"S—So you've made your decision, then."

She closed her eyes, nodding.

"Yes. I know what I need to do."

"Why?"

She pulled away from me, but she met my eyes with a serious, steady look.

"It's like I said in my letter. Every time we dare to light the fire of hope in this world, something just comes along to snuff it out. And I realized, over the last week, that I did a very foolish thing, going after that boss. What did I think? That Kayaba would wait to fry people's brains indefinitely? That he'd wait until we cleared the game, only to murder all the fallen players at once?

"No, you were right. There was no hope for them, but I hoped against all reason anyway. I won't keep grasping at straws only to find nothing. That's dangerous. It's dangerous for me, and it's dangerous for you. That's why this has to end."

So bleak was her expression, so resigned her voice, that it was like getting taken down and having a foot press against my throat, but I shook it all off. I put my hands on her shoulders and smiled.

"The game's being cleared, Sachi. Yes, people will die along the way, but we can survive. I believe that, and I want to survive with you. There might not be any hope of getting out of here tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after that, but we can make progress. And together, we can cope with the horrible things we might see, or that we'll have to endure. I'm not saying it's going to be easy. We both know it isn't, and that it won't be, but we can endure all those things together, right? The two of us, with Ezekiel, and Collmenter and Kali, and Peeler and the twins—all of them."

"Until one of them dies."

Sachi looked to me again, and she smiled wanly.

"It's okay, Kirito. You don't have to struggle anymore. I know it's been hard, being with me. Once the clock strikes midnight, I'm going to the railing. You don't have to stay and watch, but I don't mind if you do."

It was two minutes to midnight. That was all I had—two minutes to try to convince Sachi not to end her life, and all my previous ideas had failed me.

But at least we were alone. Maybe it was selfish, but I wanted to take in everything I could of her before she left. I slipped my hand into hers, as if I could hold her there and keep her from walking off that ledge, but that was a vain hope. I stroked her cheek, and she smiled bashfully, averting her eyes.

And in those still moments before midnight, only a few scant voices could be heard from the market.

"All right, everyone! For our last act, we close with a song to mark the new year! Tonight, we sing a traditional melody of Myujen, in the language of its founders. We present to you 'Days Gone By,' or as it is better known in its original tongue, 'Auld Lang Syne.' Thank you."

The performers began to hum a familiar tune—the tune of "Light of the Fireflies," so it wasn't out of place on New Year's Eve—but when the singers began the lyrics, the words were quite different from what I was used to. I didn't catch all the words at the time—I wasn't an expert at making out sung English—but I learned later it was something like this:

_Should auld acquaintance be forgot,  
and never brought to mind?  
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,  
and auld lang syne?_

_For auld lang syne, my jo,  
for auld lang syne,  
we'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,  
for auld lang syne._

The performers began to hum again after the chorus, and Sachi squeezed my hand.

"I think I like this version. Don't you?"

I did, too. It was apt for the occasion, wasn't it? The new year is always a good time to remember, to look back on the good memories shared with friends that we might not see again.

Through all these months with Sachi, I'd met a lot of people and kept in contact with them. Who would I have become if I hadn't stayed with Sachi? If I hadn't met Aurora and Ezekiel? If I hadn't become a part of In Memoriam and tried to build something with them? I would've walked a long, dark road alone, no doubt. I would've failed to learn from Aurora's ambitions and tragedies. I would've missed those conversations with Ezekiel about guild communities and raid encounters. Those were all good things—some that I could build off of, others that I would just have to treasure in my memory.

So the music, the memories it triggered, had an effect on me, and it was having an effect on Sachi, too. She squeezed my hand tightly, and as the second verse began, a single tear rolled past her beauty mark, falling to the snowy street below.

_And surely ye'll be your pint-stowp!  
and surely I'll be mine!  
And we'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,  
for auld lang syne._

_For auld lang syne, my jo,  
for auld lang syne,  
we'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,  
for auld lang syne._

The clock struck twelve, and the choir was content to hum the melody while they waited for the din to clear. With each strike of the bell, Sachi shook a little, and after a few moments, she broke away from me, turning aside.

"I think it's time to go."

"Stay through the end of the song. It's beautiful."

"No, I think I want to go now."

"Sachi!"

She ran. She dashed down the street and stopped just short, peering over the edge.

"Wait!"

"For what? Wait for _what_, Kirito? No salvation is coming for us. What is there to wait for?"

"Just listen to me, one last time, please. If I haven't convinced you by the time I'm done, then you should go. There won't be anything else I could say then."

She stepped back from the edge and watched me. Standing half in the light of an oil lamp and half in shadow, I could only see one of her eyes, but it was steady and bored into me like a laser.

"All right. One last time."

That was it, then. No time to come up with something eloquent or thoughtful. All I had was what was on my mind. That was the best I could do.

"You know what kind of person I was, back before we met? I was a loner. A solo player."

Sachi smiled to herself.

"You were the hated beater."

"Right. I took that upon myself to try to help others, but I didn't mind having that moniker. It meant I could keep to myself and not stay connected to other people. I came to this world looking for that. I didn't feel connected to the people in my life, and I believed I didn't need that."

I touched her shoulder. Her eyes met mine, and I went on.

"But then I met you guys, and you all were like the family I _wanted_ to have. You were friendly and accepting. You were all good people, and you guys had perspective, unlike a lot of gamers I'd met. I was attracted to that, and I wanted to stay. I wanted to stay so much that I couldn't break it to you about being a beater, or my level, or anything like that."

I scratched the back of my head, sighing.

"My parents aren't my parents. My sister isn't my sister. I didn't believe I could have close connections to people. I thought the truth would always make them alien to me. And if not for you, and your guild, and then Ezekiel and Aurora after that, I would've kept believing it. You changed my mind, Sachi. You made me believe I could really enjoy the company of others, instead of just playing with them briefly and forgetting about them as we all moved on. If you had asked me a year ago if I'd believed that could ever change, I would've said no, but now I think differently."

And I put my hands together, begging her. I dropped to my knees, letting the cold snow seep through my pant legs.

"So I'm asking you, Sachi. I'm asking you now. It's hard, losing friends. Maybe it's too hard. I'm not saying you're wrong to believe that, but give me a chance to change your mind. I can't do that in the span of a few seconds. I can't do that right here. All I can do is convince you to try, and the only thing I want now is the chance to repay you for what you did for me."

Sachi closed her eyes, and she turned aside, facing the railing.

"That's not enough for me, Kirito. I just don't—I can't feel any hope for that now. I'm sorry."

That was like getting puched right in the heart. The wind came out of me in a burst, and I just stared at her, gaping.

"It's not your fault, you know. Even though you took it upon yourself, you were never responsible for me. You understand?"

I bowed my head, nodding.

"I understand. Goodbye, Sachi. I'm sorry I couldn't help you."

My voice wavered, so I said no more. I kissed her on the cheek, and she smiled, but that comfort was brief and fleeting, and she pulled away from me, stepping up to the rail.

No matter how I shook, I watched her there. I breathed in shudders and sobs, but I forced myself to stand straight and tall. If Sachi were to die then, I would see it with my own eyes.

But as I watched Sachi, she didn't move.

"Maybe you should go after all."

Her voice was quiet, quiet enough that I leaned forward instinctively to try to hear.

"What? I thought you said—"

"I know what I said! I was wrong. Please go. I don't think I can do this with you here."

A small smile tugged at the corners of my lips. My heartbeat steadied, and I said,

"I'm here to listen and be here for you, Sachi, but there is nothing you can say to make me make it easier for you to kill yourself."

"Kirito!"

She balled up her hands and sobbed. Her chest heaving, she took a step toward the ledge and tried to wipe away the tears with her palm. Between her sniffles, opened her eyes to peer into the abyss below us, but her feet remained rooted to the ground.

I tiptoed my way to her side, and I put an arm around her. It was a light, guarded touch—enough, I hoped, to give her support, but not so much it would restrict her.

"Sachi, can we go back to the market? I'd like to see if they're going to sing any other songs tonight."

I pulled lightly on her shoulder, and her feet gave way. She stepped haltingly alongside me, and I steered her from the edge, back down the dark alley toward the center of town.

Once we left the light of the warning lamps at the edge, she threw an arm around my waist for support, and I pulled her closer. She wept and shook the whole way, and I did nothing to stop her tears. Let them flow. Let them flow and freeze and never be shed again.

I brought Sachi back near the market, close enough to hear the choir as they performed one last refrain:

_Should auld acquaintance be forgot,  
and never brought to mind?  
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,  
and auld lang syne?_

_For auld lang syne, my jo,  
for auld lang syne,  
we'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,  
for auld lang syne._

We stayed there in the snowy market until all the applause finished, and the last singer of the choir walked away.

* * *

Join us for the special finale to _Auld Lang Syne_ in just one week, December 20, 2014, at 1 PM EST (10 AM PST), after the conclusion of _Sword Art Online II_'s final episode stream.

Next time: "Epilogue." The story of Sachi and Kirito does not end here, but one story does, and it deserves to be concluded.

For notes and commentary on this chapter and others, check out the _Auld Lang Syne_ thread on Sufficient Velocity, linked from my user profile.


	11. Epilogue

**Epilogue**  
_Yamagata, Yamagata Prefecture, Japan - May 17, 2025_

Yes, you're reading the date right. I'm skipping over some things. There's a lot more to the story of SAO, of course—of how we got out, how we were sabotaged from within, and how those we trusted to take care of our bodies betrayed us, too.

But those are stories of their own. Sachi's story doesn't end here, nor do those of Ezekiel and In Memoriam, but one story does, and I feel it's important to give it closure.

#

I still dream about SAO, now and then.

I once dreamed that Sachi and I were in our house in Londinium. We were in the courtyard, with the sun shining on us from above. A Message Record Crystal played back some slow music, and we danced to it. I know, it's so sweet it's sappy and trite. Well, so what? If you fall in love with someone and don't get a little sappy once in a while, are you really in love at all?

Anyway, Sachi and I danced in the courtyard. She rested her head on my shoulder and smiled. She said something and laughed about it.

But I couldn't hear her. A high-pitched squeal drowned her out.

The floor rumbled; the earth cracked beneath us. The columns holding up the roof sheared and shattered.

The house came down around us—no, all of Aincrad came down around us, and I clung to Sachi. I held her close as the earth gave way and we fell, into the black abyss.

"And how do you feel about that, Kirigaya-kun?"

That voice belonged to Doctor Suzuki. He was a calm, buttoned-down man, with rectangular glasses frames and a thick moustache. Every so often, he would run his fingers over his sweater vest, brushing any lint or flakes of dandruff away. He was very meticulous like that.

Doctor Suzuki worked out of a fancy, well-furnished office. His desk was made of dark, finished wood with narrow carvings down the legs. Suzuki always sat in front of the desk in our sessions, though: he had two black leather chairs—very plush, and very comfortable. He would let me take one first, and then he would take the other. He always let me take whichever I wanted. Left or right, it made no difference. Perhaps it was a subtle technique to help me feel in control.

Two tall, rectangular windows let light into the room. Suzuki's office faced west, so often during our sessions, the sunlight would shine directly into the room, casting it in a warm, comforting hue. Suzuki kept the blinds tilted just right to keep out glare while letting all that color in.

So it was with the sun's warmth on half his face that Suzuki asked me that question, asked me about the dream I'd finished describing to him. After a moment's contemplation, I finally said,

"I think it tells me my subconscious is a bit melodramatic."

"Whose isn't? But that's fine, really. Are you worried about Sachi?"

I shrugged.

"She seems a little down lately. She says it's just homework backlog."

Suzuki scribbled on his pad, not looking up.

"Do you believe that?"

"I worry it's not that, yeah."

"Hmm."

Suzuki tilted his head down, resting his chin on his hand and putting a little more of his face in shadow.

"Well, I have confidence in Doctor Mitsuishi. I worked with her for a few years back in Nagano. She's compassionate and knowledgeable, so Sachi is in good hands."

"Yeah, that's true. Maybe I'm making something out of nothing."

"No, no, I'm glad you said something. It's not wrong to worry; it's not wrong to be vigilant. And you asked her feelings, right? That's good. That's always a good first barometer of a person's state of mind, whatever they say."

I sighed, glancing out the window to the setting sun.

"I guess it always just seems like night could be coming anytime now. Or I worry that could happen."

"It's not your job to support her. If you feel overwhelmed, you can—and should—step back."

I smiled to myself.

"We're not there yet, Doc. I've been there before. We're okay for right now, and we'll see how it goes, right?"

Suzuki nodded.

"That's the best any of us can do."

He slid his phone out of his pocket and peered at the screen.

"Well, we only have a few minutes, but there's something else I wanted to touch base with you about. I was reading a report from Kikuoka-san, and he wrote briefly about a raid on some player-killers? A raid you were involved in?"

I shifted in my seat and turned my head, putting the sun behind me and my face in shadow.

"Yeah, that happened. Do we really have time for this right now?"

"Perhaps not. I just wanted to ask about it now, so you could think on whether there's anything we need to talk about before next week."

"I don't know what there is to say."

"Fair enough. I—"'

"Except…"

Suzuki gawked for a moment, but he leaned back, nodding.

"Except that it was a bloodbath, and I don't like to think about it. I'm not sure most people there even know the names of the players they killed. Would be easier just to forget it all, Doc."

"Easier, yes. Better for you?"

"I didn't say that."

Doctor Suzuki pursed his lips.

"Good, that's good. Sorry for bringing that up so suddenly, Kirigaya-kun. We can continue next time. Take care."

The doctor shook my hand, and he opened the door to show me out. In the waiting room, with its fine, dark carpet and mahogany reception desk, there was a row of chairs on the far wall for visitors and other patients.

And out there, in the chair closest to Suzuki's door, sat Sachi. Gone was her worm-tooth shield, or her oval-shaped breastplate. Her clothes were much less fantastical, but she was still Sachi.

"Hey. How'd it go?"

"Not bad. Yours?"

"Okay, I guess…."

"Something up?"

She sighed.

"I guess. I got a message from Liz. Made me think about some things, while you were in there."

"What message was that?"

"She sent it to you, too. Take a look."

I peeked at my phone and scrolled through the emails. A giveaway for a new MMO called _Gun Gale Online_, a newsletter headlined by the shakeup at RCT, and…

There it was. From Lisbeth:

_Hey guys, now that everyone's back from SAO/ALO and healed up, I think it's time we had a little party. I've already talked to Agil-san about renting out his place for an evening. Let's celebrate those who are still with us and commemorate those we lost. If you're interested, let me know, and I'll make sure there's enough food and drink for everyone. Thanks!_

I clicked my phone off, and Sachi sighed.

"I'm ashamed to say it, but after all this time—the therapy sessions, learning to walk and eat again, and then Alfheim—I almost forgot about Aurora."

It was easy to forget. We'd been able to give our regards to the rest of Black Cats' families, but Yamagata is just too far to go when you're still in physical therapy. And then, time passed, and we forgot.

But we were healthy again. And if we couldn't make the time, we didn't deserve Aurora's friendship in the first place.

"Let's go make it right, then."

Sachi met my eyes, and she nodded, smiling.

"Yeah! Let's do it, for Aurora."

#

We arranged to meet a contact of ours from the government. He was a busy man, though, and neither of us wanted to hunt him down at his office, so we agreed on a more convenient meeting place:

Yggdrasil City, in _Alfheim Online_.

It may seem strange, that I would willingly choose to spend more time in a virtual world again, after having been laid up for two years, but to me, it was just as real and meaningful as anything in the "real" world.

See, we picked Yggdrasil City because there was an inn high above the main part of the city, in one of the upper branches of the World Tree. From the balcony, you could look down on the city below. If there had been an ocean out there, with people canoeing or swimming, or if there had been a statue of a Viking hero in the town square, you could've mistaken it for a more realistic town.

Anyway, three of us waited on the inn's balcony: Sachi and I, of course, and Ezekiel. Ezekiel didn't look any less silly as a Salamander—a fire fairy—but the red hair seemed fitting for him.

"Your friend's late."

The three of us sat down and waited over cups of tree sap (better than you'd think, trust me), and we watched my contact on the in-game map, and Ezekiel seemed to be in more of a mood to complain than to wait. He sat back, arms folded, and shook his head.

"We're goddamn fairies with the power of flight. All he has to do is fly a straight line to get here."

Sachi winced.

"He's not the best at this game, from what I've seen. Be patient with him."

"That doesn't inspire me with confidence."

"Let's just say he's a better bureaucrat than a gamer?"

Ezekiel shook his head again, taking another sip of tree sap. He opened his mouth to speak, but we were interrupted.

"Hey guys, Alne West?"

That brusque, sudden offer came from none other than Kali. She, Collmenter, and my sister, Leafa, ambled out to the balcony, and their wings materialized on their backs.

His cup empty, Ezekiel set it aside and waved a hand to decline.

"Wish we could, but we're waiting for someone. Maybe you guys wanna try Peeler?"

Collmenter huffed at that.

"Peeler only wants to run South. It's breastplate or bust for him."

I cleared my throat.

"Tell him I'll run South with him later if he runs you guys through West. That should make everybody happy, right?"

Leafa raised both eyebrows at me.

"Except for you, because you don't need anything out of South, right?"

Well, she had me there. Leafa bounded off with a smile, and Kali and Collmenter followed after her. They jumped off the edge of the balcony and soared over the town in the tree branches, disappearing into the warm hues of the sunset below.

And out of that sunset came an all-too-serious looking fairy with blue hair and glasses with only half the frames.

"Sorry I'm late. It seems I don't know the city so well. A lot's changed since ALO came back online, hasn't it?"

Crysheight took the fourth seat at the table, trading greetings with Ezekiel, before getting down to business:

"I looked into the address Kirito-kun gave me. Unfortunately, the information I'm allowed to disclose is limited, due to privacy concerns."

Ezekiel scoffed, shaking his cup.

"You can't say that in an email?"

"There are lots of things I can say in an email; not many of them are useful. To date, though, no one has enough capability to record VR data and play back more than a few seconds of it, so any conversations we have here are much more private, don't you think?"

At that, Ezekiel nodded, and Crysheight went on.

"Still, I have an obligation to respect privacy, so please, bear that in mind if what I say isn't as helpful as it could be. I can't tell you very much because the task force never had any reason to contact anyone at that address. I don't think anyone from SAO ever lived there."

Then why did Aurora give us that address?

"However, I did find in the public record that the residents have been there since before SAO launch day. Whoever you're supposed to find, they're still there."

"Then we have to go there."

That was Sachi.

"Aurora wanted us to meet someone there. We owe it to her."

Ezekiel glanced down the edge of the balcony, at the tree below.

"I'd say we don't owe the dead anything, but…yeah, let's do it."

Who was I to say _no_ to that?

#

We asked Liz to delay the party to Saturday. Sachi and I took the train to Yamagata that morning, and we met Ezekiel in town.

The busride through Yamagata showed us a wide, expansive city, sitting at the base of a mountain. The Konida neighborhood of Yamagata was a residential area, near a park and a public library. Building 4-11 was a two-story home, with cream-colored exterior walls and a brown roof, but what struck me was the wall of plants that blocked off the front of the house from the street. A line of tall shrubs and bushes obscured any view of the house from the road, and it was only when we peered around the driveway that we could even make out the house at all.

Sachi eyed one of the shrubs curiously, and she remarked,

"Maybe they just don't want to be disturbed?"

It made sense. If they did have something to do with Aurora, it would make sense. It couldn't be easy for any family with a loved one trapped in SAO. I could imagine some neighbors not being very understanding—especially with the experiences Aurora went through.

But we went to the door anyway, hoping that we wouldn't be turned away out of hand.

Sachi rang the bell, but the door didn't open right away. There was a slight sound as someone looked at us through the peephole.

"Who are you? What do you want?"

A man's voice. Her father, perhaps?

Sachi cleared her throat and introduced us.

"Is this the Terada residence?"

"What if it is?"

"Do you have a daughter named _Itsuki_?"

"Why do you ask?"

"We were friends of your daughter, I think. We came to pay our respects."

"Friends of my daughter? I've never seen you before; don't lie to me! Get out of here! Leave your pins or firecrackers or dead animals on the doorstep! I have no time for people like you!"

"Please! We met in SAO. We're not even sure if we got the right name. I'm sorry I don't have any proof to convince you, just—"

The door opened. A man—a little overweight and with thinning hair—sized us up with hard brown eyes.

"What are you people from?"

"Tokyo and Niigata."

"I see. You must be friends of Hikari-chan's. Well, I must apologize. I'm sure you can understand, after what happened, we're pretty wary of strangers here, but if Hikari-chan gave you this address, she must've trusted you. Please, come inside."

The man Terada beckoned us to enter, and he showed us to living room.

"My wife is out at the moment, but I'll get Itsuki and then make some tea. Is that all right?"

Given the circumstances, the best any of us could say was _yes_. We took our seats around the table, and after a fashion, Terada returned with "Itsuki."

She was fair-skinned, with long, flowing black hair. Her lips were pressed together tightly, as if to say even this journey was a struggle for her.

Not a physical struggle, mind you. How could it be? She didn't have to do anything. Her father wheeled her into the room all on his own, and he parked her chair near the dinner table.

"Itsuki, these people were Hikari-chan's friends in SAO."

At that, Itsuki's eyes came to life.

"Hikari's friends? Really?"

Sachi pressed her hands together and bowed slightly.

"That's right. We wouldn't be here without her. She reached out to us and gave us support in a time of need. We were all grateful for her, and I for one considered her a dear friend."

Itsuki smiled at that, and her father left the four of us alone. Itsuki looked between the three of us before asking,

"What made you come here? Now? SAO's been over since last year, hasn't it?"

"It's taken us all some time to recover and regain strength. I'm sorry; we would've liked to be here sooner. Actually, Aurora didn't—I mean, Hikari, sorry—she didn't explain what we'd find at this address. We thought it would be her family."

The girl Itsuki pursed her lips, nodding knowingly.

"Her family wouldn't have received you well. They didn't approve of Hikari playing SAO—not because they didn't approve of games, just _who_ she would be playing it with. We were close friends, you see, but her family never liked that."

"You're Tal, aren't you?"

Itusuki's teacup clinked on the table.

"She told you the story?"

"She told us you were attacked, both of you. She didn't say that you were a girl. Or that…"

Sachi gestured to the wheelchair, and Itsuki nodded again. She stroked the wheel and the spokes with her finger.

"Hikari always felt guilty about this, about what happened to me. SAO was the way we could be together, the way I could walk again. _Tal_ was going to be my character's name. She picked Aurora to be similar to her own. She wanted to test it out before we both committed to playing. Now, because of me, she's gone."

"That's not your fault."

"Isn't it?"

Itsuki sat back in her chair, and she glanced at the ceiling.

"Hikari died trying to help me, and everything that's happened since is just what I deserve for that. I get eggs thrown at me when I go outside. The people who did this to me have gone to university and will probably get good jobs. No one will ever know or believe what they did. I can't get a job around her to support myself, so my parents still have to take care of me. This house is my prison, and that's the way it has to be."

Sachi and I looked to each other. There was something in Itsuki's eyes—something I recognized, something Sachi felt a connection with, too.

"So, have you considered playing any other VR games?"

That was Ezekiel, but Itsuki shook her head.

"What does it matter to walk, if you have no one to walk with?"

"You could play with us. We have a guild in ALO, called _In Memoriam_. It's the same guild Aurora founded in SAO. All three of us were there."

Itsuki bowed her head, letting out a breath in frustration.

"I'm sorry; I appreciate what you're doing, but you don't need to reach out to me just because of her."

"She cared about you a lot, and I cared about her, too. I want to get to know you, and to get to know about her, about how she was in the real world, too. I think we all would enjoy that. We had some good times with her, in SAO."

"You did?"

Pursing her lips, Itsuki frowned, thinking intensely for a few moments.

"Can you tell me about that? About how she was in SAO?"

Ezekiel nodded and smiled. We all did.

We sat with Itsuki for over an hour, talking about how Aurora formed the guild, my duel with her, and how she died trying to stand up against the dark parts of humanity that had so haunted her. But, she was at peace. That was the important thing. She made something that could go on without her.

The hour went by too fast, really, but the party back in Tokyo wasn't going to wait. We invited Itsuki, but she declined.

"It's difficult to go places and come back, but maybe I'll see you in Alfheim. You're Ezekiel, Kirito, and Sachi, right? I'll try to remember that. I don't know if I will, but I'll try."

Ezekiel nodded at that, but as we rose to leave, Sachi approached Itsuki, saying something low and quiet. I only just barely made it out.

"Please do see us. You're not alone, you know."

Itsuki gestured to the wheelchair.

"I don't think you know about that."

"I know what it's like to want to die."

Eyes wide, Itsuki met Sachi's gaze in shock, but after a few silent moments, she looked away, grimacing.

Sachi dragged her cushion over, sitting down next to Itsuki.

"I felt that way, too, in SAO. I lost all my closest real-life friends in that game, but Aurora helped me keep going. Even though she died, she inspired all of us to build something bigger than ourselves, to help people who felt the same as we did and draw strength from one another. She thought she could make hope from nothing, and you know what? She was right. She was absolutely right. Take heart from her life, and know there are people like us around who will support you. I promise you that."

Sachi brushed a finger against Itsuki's hand, and with tears welling up in her eyes, Itsuki took Sachi up on that kindness, linking her hand in Sachi's, and in a soft voice, she said,

"Thank you."

**The End**

* * *

And so ends _Auld Lang Syne_. This piece, initially conceived as a short AU counterpart to "Red-nosed Reindeer," grew to be quite a bit larger than that story, but I don't regret a single word of it. It was a wonderful opportunity to tell a story about depression, PTSD, and prejudice. It was a joy to bring Sachi back to life and to see that, despite her struggles, she could find enough hope to keep going.

This process of writing the story in advance and then publishing it piecemeal on Sufficient Velocity, and then later in larger segments on FFN, has helped me appreciate the importance of editing and a coherent vision. If I take nothing else away from this experience, it's the value of having the whole work in front of you to make changes and consider revisions. That, to me, is part of the process of making a piece of artful writing.

If you've enjoyed this story, I hope you will share it with others. Recommend it to your friends, and tell me what you enjoyed about it. If you stuck around this long and felt the piece wanting, I would appreciate hearing about that, too, so that I may improve my writing for the future. All in all, I want this piece to be as good as it can be, and I want to share it with others, so that the message of hope and perseverance here can be spread as widely as possible.

My thanks to several readers who have helped give feedback over the course of this publication. On Sufficient Velocity, thanks to Mizu, Spectrum, Skychan, Flere821, JumperPrime, Chloe Sullivan, and any others I may neglect. On FFN, my thanks to demonsshade and Agent94. All of you have helped me with feedback to iron out inconsistencies and defects. Without you, the piece would not be what it is.

And finally, my thanks to you, dear reader. I don't know when or if I will write again for _Sword Art Online_. If I do, I hope we meet again. Thus, I do not say goodbye to readers I part with. I can only say,

Until next time.

-Muphrid

* * *

**Version Log**

First draft finished July 27, 2014.

This message written November 12, 2014, for publication of the second draft on Sufficient Velocity.

Second draft published on FFN December 20, 2014. Happy New Year, and may the memories of days gone by give you strength for those challenges in life yet to come.


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